FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Does kinky put u off?
Does kinky put u off?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We all know a bi man puts ppl off and therefore some men r coy to admit it. But im wonderin how many ppl wud be put off if someone was really kinky and into serious bdsm... Wud u guys meet someone whos out about being kinky, if they said they only wanted straight vanilla sex with u? Im not bothered as ive found kinky fbs and dont really do many new meets on here... But i am really curious? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had guys turning me down cause I like water sports even tho I always say nothing I'm into is a must and I don't have to do it with everyone, some just don't like the idea of meeting people who do this
I had one guy tell me he only meets clean people |
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it would entirely depend on what the kink is. However if someone expresses a strong preference for something, even if they say it's not vital I would always be conscious that they weren't getting what they really wanted out of any possible meet. |
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Kinky is absolutely great, when you all want the same things. Kinky interests can also reveal that someone is a little less uninhibited than others, but at the end of the day, if 2 ultra kinky partners want absolutely simple vanilla fun, then that's all there is to consider really. Kinky may happen another time, but vanilla's in the spotlight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We make no secrets on our profile of our involvement on the kink scene in London so yes it does most definately attract us. But it does have the opposite effect too, we know exactly what we like and enjoy and where our boundaries are, if people are vague, or worse are clearly using the word kink generically to try and sound exciting then we can and do get bored very quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the bdsm route isnt my thing, can dominate a little...on occasions depending on who its with.I just dont like it when it becomes more about the kink than the sex, for my needs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm quite a kinky person i love handcuffs,blindfolds,gags etc but i would have to meet the person a couple of times to make sure i can trust them but after that bring it on  |
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For us it is an intrinsic part of our sex life, our sex life only though. We would never presume others shared our tastes. However, should anybody ask nicely it always nice to find a kindred spirit. There are a suprising number of kinky swingers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a bit upset, i've been sitting waiting on all the "fuck ye i love kinky, only way to have sex. But, if the gal isn't into that then thats cool too, i can take it or leave it" quotes!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is an interesting subject. What is kinky ? To everyone its some thing different. Its a wide spectrum of possible activities. What some people find kinky might be quite tame to another |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It does put me off here at Fabs. I have clubs I go to and people I play with for BDSM, I joined FABS purely for the sex and don't tend to mix the two 
"
I should have taken this approach. Mentioning kink on my profile has tended to confuse people in terms of what they think I am looking for.
When I unhide my profile, it needs a major re-write. |
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" But im wonderin how many ppl wud be put off if someone was really kinky and into serious bdsm... "
Serious BDSM???
As in actual slave owners or are we still talking sexually????
What is serious BDSM? Whips, chains, ropes, needles, hooks, nails, blood etc
As for the OP, it would not put us off as we would agree before any meet what we would do or not do, we may regret it if people did not stick to our limits, but only in the same way we would regret it if we agreed to safe sex and someone tried bareback, or if we agreed to meet a couple and a single man appears.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a little kink is normal, in fact it adds to the fun, if it's totally,bent, well that's not me! Lol
But what's a kink and what's a taboo! , my view dressing up as a schoolgirl is ok. But!....... 
Yeah kink bring it on, as long as it downd draw blood! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I think it would put us off. If we met another couple who were into serious BDSM then I'd be very conscious of the fact that the two of us may not be sexually compatible. Even if boundaries were agreed, I'd be on my guard to ensure they weren't crossed.
My OH really doesn't like being rough at all with women so it would leave him feeling that perhaps he wasn't being as forceful as she'd like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I think it would put us off. If we met another couple who were into serious BDSM then I'd be very conscious of the fact that the two of us may not be sexually compatible. Even if boundaries were agreed, I'd be on my guard to ensure they weren't crossed.
My OH really doesn't like being rough at all with women so it would leave him feeling that perhaps he wasn't being as forceful as she'd like. "
i dont think id be on my guard they didnt cross any set lines what would worry me was if i was boring them
If someone was heavily into BDSM would 'normal' sex do it for them?
if they met thinking they would be fine not doing BDSM but half way thro realised ity really wasnt turning them on what i was doing would they just go thro the motions so as not to upset anyone or course problems |
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"We all know a bi man puts ppl off and therefore some men r coy to admit it. But im wonderin how many ppl wud be put off if someone was really kinky and into serious bdsm... Wud u guys meet someone whos out about being kinky, if they said they only wanted straight vanilla sex with u? Im not bothered as ive found kinky fbs and dont really do many new meets on here... But i am really curious?"
Yes does put us off a profile |
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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago
Midlothian |
We love the very kinky scene + swinging.Depending on the event,party or meet if its a mix of play or just swinging or just BDSM.
We found loads of ppl on here who are also on the fetish site!.......we also discovered that loads of ppl are not into it until they watch hubby + I,either in a Club or swinging hols + become very interested+ want to join in ......
yes we know some ppl are put of by our mix of pics but thats fine:we honest,respectful + rather show wot we into + play with openminded,non-judgemental!! ppl xx |
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As a few have mentioned, the term is very subjective so I don't think it would put me off as my definition may be different to their's.
My feeling is that if they sell it in Ann Summers then it's mainstream not kinky, but some people may have different boundaries. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would depend on the profile and what else they said. I might chat to them and see if we had things in common.
I wouldn't worry about me not being 'enough' for them if they were into major kinky stuff. I worry I might bore anyone I meet, not just the kinky ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well i fall into the kinky catergory, having said that i am able to put it in a box at the back of my mind and save it for the right person.vanilla is nice too, now and then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Theres nothing wrong with being kinky I think half the problem is that people always assume. By that I mean that just because it may say on your profile you are into x,y and z it doesn't automatically mean it has to be done on every meet you have. I agree with other comments about finding common ground with someone and going from there. Myself hey I'll try most things once  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We love the very kinky scene + swinging.Depending on the event,party or meet if its a mix of play or just swinging or just BDSM.
We found loads of ppl on here who are also on the fetish site!.......we also discovered that loads of ppl are not into it until they watch hubby + I,either in a Club or swinging hols + become very interested+ want to join in ......
yes we know some ppl are put of by our mix of pics but thats fine:we honest,respectful + rather show wot we into + play with openminded,non-judgemental!! ppl xx"
dan sue just wanted to say how much we love your pictures and art x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is an interesting subject. What is kinky ? To everyone its some thing different. Its a wide spectrum of possible activities. What some people find kinky might be quite tame to another"
I cannot agree more!! For kinky virgin like me , I would like to observe at close quarters rather than take part in the first instance. Might want to have a go if the result turns me on. Not sure until it happens. |
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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago
Midlothian |
"We love the very kinky scene + swinging.Depending on the event,party or meet if its a mix of play or just swinging or just BDSM.
We found loads of ppl on here who are also on the fetish site!.......we also discovered that loads of ppl are not into it until they watch hubby + I,either in a Club or swinging hols + become very interested+ want to join in ......
yes we know some ppl are put of by our mix of pics but thats fine:we honest,respectful + rather show wot we into + play with openminded,non-judgemental!! ppl xx dan sue just wanted to say how much we love your pictures and art x"
THANK YOU X you got nice selec.of pics,too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the bdsm route isnt my thing, can dominate a little...on occasions depending on who its with.I just dont like it when it becomes more about the kink than the sex, for my needs"
Or if theirs too much chat going on  lolololol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am wary of stating bdsm on our profile as I have been scared off in the past with guys wanting to hog tie me and use all sorts of scary implements
J and I class ourselves as sub/dom but we don't go in for pain. I like to be dominated but not hurt or humiliated. I like to dress up, be tied up, I have a cute little black collar and I like to be treated rough - bit of throatfucking, hair pulling, anal with just not quite enough lube that makes me squeal a little etc and we have on occasion fooled around with choking (but never with anyone else).
We have had guys in the past say they will be rough but aren't.
At the end of the day when we meet J is in charge so if guys we meet were to get carried away then he wouldn't be slow in warning them off - luckily we haven't encountered this yet, in fact, as I said previously most guys don't 'abuse' me enough
Lou xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kinky is absolutely great, when you all want the same things. Kinky interests can also reveal that someone is a little less uninhibited than others, but at the end of the day, if 2 ultra kinky partners want absolutely simple vanilla fun, then that's all there is to consider really. Kinky may happen another time, but vanilla's in the spotlight."
I think two kinky partners wanting vanilla fun sound a bit kinky in itself |
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