FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Being used and abused?
Being used and abused?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.
Just curious and absolutely NO judgement; Ladies (specifically) do any of you enjoy these encounters? You meet at yours/theirs/hotel, have THE dirtiest, roughest fuck and then you're on your merry way. No connection and very unlikely you'd see him again.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not with just anyone only trusted partners but I do like a little bit of dom/throat grabbing etc there has to an element of trust and a safety word"
For me, this is how I'd enter into something like that personally but I feel all the messages I get, there must be some Women who like it |
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I enjoy it with somebody I know and trust but the unsolicited messages detailing how they're going to rough me up are such a turn off. Dude...you have no idea whether I want that, writing that kind of stuff to a stranger is describing ra pe not kinky sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, because you need that trust, and the knowledge that the person will stop if it gets too much.
Being used and abused by a certain person - hell yes.
By a random stranger - fuck no!
And as dark said above, when they send a cringy paragraph on what they are going to do to you, just no! |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
Exactly as the other ladies have said...
With someone I know and trust... The rougher the better.
With a stranger. Hell no, I need to know they are trustworthy, will respect my safeword etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't send a message like that but we all like and want different things so im sure some women must like. Never had a message from a woman like that so must be a man thing ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only Mr NBVN is trusted enough for this with me.
NBVN x"
And also its only Mr NBVN that I want to treat me such a way. I occasionally request this of him, and give him my consent to treat me in such a way when he desires it.
NBVN x |
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By *oldenhCouple
over a year ago
Bath |
"No, because you need that trust, and the knowledge that the person will stop if it gets too much.
Being used and abused by a certain person - hell yes.
By a random stranger - fuck no!
And as dark said above, when they send a cringy paragraph on what they are going to do to you, just no!"
Exactly this !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't send a message like that but we all like and want different things so im sure some women must like. Never had a message from a woman like that so must be a man thing ?"
Agreed, doesn’t sit well with me to send any type of message like that at all initially
Had a couple of meets and contacts were we get down and dirty in texts etc. However, only after chatting and understanding each other’s needs
Pete |
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"No, definitely not. Although the majority of men seem to think that's what we want!"
Do they think it’s what we want? Or do they just not care enough to ask? I feel inclined to think it’s the latter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the men that send those messages as an intro would shit themselves if I said yeah alright then..
I like a bit of rough play but with someone I have a connection with xx |
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When I get women or couples contacting me out of the blue asking for rough stuff like this or csncs play I get very nervous!
The trust issue goes both ways, I need to realy know my partners, and get inside their heads before I feel comfortable pushing their limits and boundaries and indulging their darker fantasies.
It just rings all kinds of alarm bells and makes me think they are inexperienced and nieve at best, or have some kind of agenda at worst.....
The really scary ones come from guys trying to arrange csncs fantasy scenarios 'on behalf of their partners. Or who offer you a 'consensual session where she is 'asleep
I do enjoy a bit of kink, fantasy and fettish play, but trust must always be the foundation that everything else is built on
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
My missus in her 20s used to have a kink about this, we had a friend called Tim who would organise a beers and porn evening at his place, some weeks I would take Tara along, she used to love the fact she was the only girl there in a front room full of guys that she didn't know, while they watched porn, as they had a few beers they would get braver touching her ass or tits as she brought them another drink, I would relax back and watch her rather than the video, she had her limits she wasn't there looking to suck cock or be fucked that was made clear at the start, I was the only one who got that treatment, but everything else was allowed, it was amazing watching her passed around, losing items of clothing as she went until naked with a very wet and sensitive cunt from having been groped and fingered to orgasm so many times, she would end up being the live show as she sucked and fucked me infront of them all, I loved watching her used and abused as a build up to fucking her right in front of everyone, I counted 10 orgasms in one particularly long session. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a couple of ONS where the lady has instigated a rough fucking....encouraging me with "just fucking drill me" ....and " come on ..fucking hurt me" |
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This is a message I got off a random guy yesterday, never spoken to before. Honestly stuff like this puts me right off and is an instant block
Hey, are you into really rough and filthy sex? Can you handle being cho ked, slapped, having your throat and arse brutally fucked, rimming guys, taking arse to mouth and more? Lets put you to the test and get you earning your orgasms x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a message I got off a random guy yesterday, never spoken to before. Honestly stuff like this puts me right off and is an instant block
Hey, are you into really rough and filthy sex? Can you handle being cho ked, slapped, having your throat and arse brutally fucked, rimming guys, taking arse to mouth and more? Lets put you to the test and get you earning your orgasms x "
I would never speak like that.....just not my style at all |
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We instantly block if the first message has any mention of sex, to come out with all that at the start is a massive turn off.
We get very rough and do most of what’s mentioned but it’s all part of our sub/dom roleplay. Even if we found another female into it, we’d take a long time to build up that level of trust with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.
Just curious and absolutely NO judgement; Ladies (specifically) do any of you enjoy these encounters? You meet at yours/theirs/hotel, have THE dirtiest, roughest fuck and then you're on your merry way. No connection and very unlikely you'd see him again.
"
As expected, most women feel its an abhorrent thought, with unsolicited messages from complete strangers.
BUT, what about if a man sends an opening message, saying they would kiss you all over, tease you, nibble you, and when you can't take it any more fuck you with toe curling orgasms ?
Would you think sounds exciting, or would you think omg he sounds so wet and pathetic ?
No judgement, just curious too about the opposite side of the messages. |
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"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.
Just curious and absolutely NO judgement; Ladies (specifically) do any of you enjoy these encounters? You meet at yours/theirs/hotel, have THE dirtiest, roughest fuck and then you're on your merry way. No connection and very unlikely you'd see him again.
As expected, most women feel its an abhorrent thought, with unsolicited messages from complete strangers.
BUT, what about if a man sends an opening message, saying they would kiss you all over, tease you, nibble you, and when you can't take it any more fuck you with toe curling orgasms ?
Would you think sounds exciting, or would you think omg he sounds so wet and pathetic ?
No judgement, just curious too about the opposite side of the messages. "
I'd find it equally naff |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.
Just curious and absolutely NO judgement; Ladies (specifically) do any of you enjoy these encounters? You meet at yours/theirs/hotel, have THE dirtiest, roughest fuck and then you're on your merry way. No connection and very unlikely you'd see him again.
As expected, most women feel its an abhorrent thought, with unsolicited messages from complete strangers.
BUT, what about if a man sends an opening message, saying they would kiss you all over, tease you, nibble you, and when you can't take it any more fuck you with toe curling orgasms ?
Would you think sounds exciting, or would you think omg he sounds so wet and pathetic ?
No judgement, just curious too about the opposite side of the messages. "
I would feel the same as I would with the other message,which is roll my eyes and wonder why a complete stranger would think I would want him to do that with me when I know nothing about him. Both are equally a turn off in an opening message and I wouldn't think one is more sad and pathetic than the other. I'd also presuame it's a generic message he sends to anyone when he is horny,and he is incapable of actually talking to a woman on here as he sees them as any holes a goal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love being dommed but by trusted partners, I've met enough abusers (relationships and mareaige) that I will never be abused again. These people are watching Fifty Shades of Grey and 365 days thinking its kink but they are totally wrong.
I just totally ignore them, delete their messages and of they message again they are blocked.
This is a swingers site which some forget. |
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"This is a message I got off a random guy yesterday, never spoken to before. Honestly stuff like this puts me right off and is an instant block
Hey, are you into really rough and filthy sex? Can you handle being cho ked, slapped, having your throat and arse brutally fucked, rimming guys, taking arse to mouth and more? Lets put you to the test and get you earning your orgasms x "
Charming! Would he introduce himself in a bar like that....? The mind boggles |
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I don’t get why a guy would send that type of message without knowing how it was going to be received.
I love it rough and can be very Dom when required, but, no way could I or would I be like that without there being many conversations about it beforehand.
Limits are essential and everyone’s idea of sub/Dom are different.
A lot of people forget that it’s also the sub who is always in control given that it’s the sub who sets the limits etc
People annoy me grrrr |
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"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.
Just curious and absolutely NO judgement; Ladies (specifically) do any of you enjoy these encounters? You meet at yours/theirs/hotel, have THE dirtiest, roughest fuck and then you're on your merry way. No connection and very unlikely you'd see him again.
" can be fun if consenting obviously |
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"So, I get a lot of messages telling me what men want to do to me etc etc.
Just curious and absolutely NO judgement; Ladies (specifically) do any of you enjoy these encounters? You meet at yours/theirs/hotel, have THE dirtiest, roughest fuck and then you're on your merry way. No connection and very unlikely you'd see him again.
As expected, most women feel its an abhorrent thought, with unsolicited messages from complete strangers.
BUT, what about if a man sends an opening message, saying they would kiss you all over, tease you, nibble you, and when you can't take it any more fuck you with toe curling orgasms ?
Would you think sounds exciting, or would you think omg he sounds so wet and pathetic ?
No judgement, just curious too about the opposite side of the messages. "
I don't want explicit opening messages, but the person discussing my pleasure is more appealling than the dim dom |
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"This is a message I got off a random guy yesterday, never spoken to before. Honestly stuff like this puts me right off and is an instant block
Hey, are you into really rough and filthy sex? Can you handle being cho ked, slapped, having your throat and arse brutally fucked, rimming guys, taking arse to mouth and more? Lets put you to the test and get you earning your orgasms x "
Not just off-putting but could also be triggering to some people.
On my single profile I received a really long, graphic message of what this guy would do to me. I had to stop reading... You have no idea of the previous experiences of the person you are messaging, you have no idea what they like or dislike. Why go with that as an opening message?
Ms x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I kind of enjoy that kind of play but I’d never want to do it with a woman I’d just met. Too easy to cross a line inadvertently because everyone has different boundaries. Prefer to know somebody first.
Also I’d never send a message like that unless somebody was asking me about it. |
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"I kind of enjoy that kind of play but I’d never want to do it with a woman I’d just met. Too easy to cross a line inadvertently because everyone has different boundaries. Prefer to know somebody first.
Also I’d never send a message like that unless somebody was asking me about it. "
That’s pretty much how I feel, if I get this kinda message as the opener it’s probably getting ignored, but after trust and boundaries are set it’s fine as I enjoy that kind of thing x |
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"No, definitely not. Although the majority of men seem to think that's what we want!
Do they think it’s what we want? Or do they just not care enough to ask? I feel inclined to think it’s the latter. "
Definitely not for me too and agree with the above in that it's just about what they want rather than us |
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We both have enjoyed this there has been times when we do ok a hotel and Ben will arrange for a chap to come up to room when I’m in there alone and I don’t know what the fuck he is going to do all I know that Ben has talked it through with the chap of woman to find out what’s going to happen.
I trust Ben but I know he loves kinky shit so I just take what I get knowing he has agreed to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I enjoy being used and abused, the problem is finding men that willing and know how to.
I have gotten increasingly bored with trying to find someone that understand what it is that I am looking for. |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I actually detest the term used and abused - a certain someone with a dominating quality and a mindset that allows him to administer it in such effortless fashion that I submit without realising then hell yes I enjoy that
A meaningless fuck with no connection, or conversation is a no from me - I find the best experiences are with those who want to take the time to get to know me and my body, what makes me tick and what stimulates my mind
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I actually detest the term used and abused - a certain someone with a dominating quality and a mindset that allows him to administer it in such effortless fashion that I submit without realising then hell yes I enjoy that
A meaningless fuck with no connection, or conversation is a no from me - I find the best experiences are with those who want to take the time to get to know me and my body, what makes me tick and what stimulates my mind
Xx"
100% with Dancer on this! |
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"
I actually detest the term used and abused - a certain someone with a dominating quality and a mindset that allows him to administer it in such effortless fashion that I submit without realising then hell yes I enjoy that
A meaningless fuck with no connection, or conversation is a no from me - I find the best experiences are with those who want to take the time to get to know me and my body, what makes me tick and what stimulates my mind
Xx
100% with Dancer on this!"
Yep me too |
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"I enjoy it with somebody I know and trust but the unsolicited messages detailing how they're going to rough me up are such a turn off. Dude...you have no idea whether I want that, writing that kind of stuff to a stranger is describing ra pe not kinky sex."
Exactly |
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"When I get women or couples contacting me out of the blue asking for rough stuff like this or csncs play I get very nervous!
The trust issue goes both ways, I need to realy know my partners, and get inside their heads before I feel comfortable pushing their limits and boundaries and indulging their darker fantasies.
It just rings all kinds of alarm bells and makes me think they are inexperienced and nieve at best, or have some kind of agenda at worst.....
The really scary ones come from guys trying to arrange csncs fantasy scenarios 'on behalf of their partners. Or who offer you a 'consensual session where she is 'asleep
I do enjoy a bit of kink, fantasy and fettish play, but trust must always be the foundation that everything else is built on
"
Spot on |
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I do find it hard to get in the mood with a complete stranger, especially if it's going to be a rough impact play session. I need trust on both sides. I'm a worrier though and always think im going to take it too far haha. |
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"I do find it hard to get in the mood with a complete stranger, especially if it's going to be a rough impact play session. I need trust on both sides. I'm a worrier though and always think im going to take it too far haha. "
That's a worrying thing to read |
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"I do find it hard to get in the mood with a complete stranger, especially if it's going to be a rough impact play session. I need trust on both sides. I'm a worrier though and always think im going to take it too far haha.
That's a worrying thing to read "
Why? I wouldn't be rough with someone who doesn't enjoy it. And like I said I have to know them well if I'm going to be rough. Nothing to worry about lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So many people get the D/s side mixed up with abuse and sadism. These are very, very different things!
We see things happen in clubs and at parties in the name of D/s that are anything but.
A true D/s relationship takes time and trust to build. It's not something you can do over a quick drink and an abusive fuck! |
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"So many people get the D/s side mixed up with abuse and sadism. These are very, very different things!
We see things happen in clubs and at parties in the name of D/s that are anything but.
A true D/s relationship takes time and trust to build. It's not something you can do over a quick drink and an abusive fuck!"
Spot on. Lot of abusing guys pretending to be doms so they can hurt women. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"So many people get the D/s side mixed up with abuse and sadism. These are very, very different things!
We see things happen in clubs and at parties in the name of D/s that are anything but.
A true D/s relationship takes time and trust to build. It's not something you can do over a quick drink and an abusive fuck!"
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Respect and trust are earned, not given.
I'm greatful that wannabe "doms" are stupid enough to show their true colours before I decide to engage with them.
To answer OP.
Absolutely no way in hell would I meet anyone who opens a conversation with anything related to bdsm.
Missus |
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