FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > deleting messages
deleting messages
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By * n zCouple
over a year ago
leamington spa |
I guess some people get so many messages they can't be arsed!!!
I however do try to answer messages even to say no thanks.
The only time its difficult is when your on cam and the pm's go nuts and u can't keep up !!!!
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"cant people just talk to other people rather than ignoring or deleting their messages, when did it become acceptable to be rude?"
we had that today, had a message from a single guy, took the time to respond, had another message and replied then our message was deleted and and not responded to, don't get it, he looked at our profile 15 times so thought we would be courteous and get to know him,.dont think we will bother on future  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Someone will be along in a second to talk about number of messages per day, number of seconds per message and how many hours you are expecting some women/couples to spend on here every day answering mail. I can't be bothered to go into it again.
Would a "no thanks" really make you feel better? They didn't like your message or your profile. They don't owe you a reply or anything else.
Focus on the people who do want to meet you. Spending any more time on the ones who don't is a waste. |
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"at least you guys did the right thing, he was clearly an arse hole but i dont think that should mean you should be"
its a fine line, been messaging another guy had a nice chat, explained we had kids and meets were limited then he asked if he could pop in for a blow job!! then another guy the same thing really nice chat, getting to know him, he offered to pop by, I said no we got kids in bed asleep, reply "don't worry I will be quiet" seriously, how many single guys do you give a chance to before enough is enough????
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe instead of getting people to repeat the same things ie it's not rude, personal choice, stops repeat messages etc etc you should just read all the posts you got last time you asked the same question
The answers will be the same ! |
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"I get some guys send dickhead messages but surely the ones who aren't arseholes deserves a quick reply saying oui or non? "
most start off good but then when they think they have a foot in the door they think you are on call at the drop of a hat! haven't blocked anyone yet but makes you feel like we are wasting our time responding nicely to messages, then we could be missin .out on someone really genuine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Someone will be along in a second to talk about number of messages per day, number of seconds per message and how many hours you are expecting some women/couples to spend on here every day answering mail. I can't be bothered to go into it again.
Would a "no thanks" really make you feel better? They didn't like your message or your profile. They don't owe you a reply or anything else.
Focus on the people who do want to meet you. Spending any more time on the ones who don't is a waste."
To be honest, we don't exactly advertise for junk/unsolicited mail do we? But, we do advertise ourselves on this site to meet other people, and that involves sending and recieving msges!
To the op tho, just look at a deleted msg as another way of the recipient saying 'no thanks' and move on! Would it really make you feel better if you were to recieve countless 'no thanks, not my type'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe instead of getting people to repeat the same things ie it's not rude, personal choice, stops repeat messages etc etc you should just read all the posts you got last time you asked the same question
The answers will be the same !"
awkward  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Someone will be along in a second to talk about number of messages per day, number of seconds per message and how many hours you are expecting some women/couples to spend on here every day answering mail. I can't be bothered to go into it again.
Would a "no thanks" really make you feel better? They didn't like your message or your profile. They don't owe you a reply or anything else.
Focus on the people who do want to meet you. Spending any more time on the ones who don't is a waste.
To be honest, we don't exactly advertise for junk/unsolicited mail do we? But, we do advertise ourselves on this site to meet other people, and that involves sending and recieving msges!
To the op tho, just look at a deleted msg as another way of the recipient saying 'no thanks' and move on! Would it really make you feel better if you were to recieve countless 'no thanks, not my type'? "
People who message us choose to use their time to do so though. They have no right to expect anyone to use their time to reply.
I think it's rude, personally, do decide to do something with an expectation that someone else will then give up their time, without any such agreement being in place.
If I mow my neighbour's lawn, could I bitch, in all honesty, if he then won't do something I want him to do in return, if he hadn't wanted me to mow his lawn in the first place and we hadn't agreed it?
Sending a message here is a choice. The recipient is under no obligation whatsoever.
I decide how I spend my time, not strangers who send me messages.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Someone will be along in a second to talk about number of messages per day, number of seconds per message and how many hours you are expecting some women/couples to spend on here every day answering mail. I can't be bothered to go into it again.
Would a "no thanks" really make you feel better? They didn't like your message or your profile. They don't owe you a reply or anything else.
Focus on the people who do want to meet you. Spending any more time on the ones who don't is a waste.
To be honest, we don't exactly advertise for junk/unsolicited mail do we? But, we do advertise ourselves on this site to meet other people, and that involves sending and recieving msges!
To the op tho, just look at a deleted msg as another way of the recipient saying 'no thanks' and move on! Would it really make you feel better if you were to recieve countless 'no thanks, not my type'?
People who message us choose to use their time to do so though. They have no right to expect anyone to use their time to reply.
I think it's rude, personally, do decide to do something with an expectation that someone else will then give up their time, without any such agreement being in place.
If I mow my neighbour's lawn, could I bitch, in all honesty, if he then won't do something I want him to do in return, if he hadn't wanted me to mow his lawn in the first place and we hadn't agreed it?
Sending a message here is a choice. The recipient is under no obligation whatsoever.
I decide how I spend my time, not strangers who send me messages.
"
Eh??? You lost me when you popped out to cut someones grass there! I didn't say anybody HAD to reply! All i said was, treat a deletion as if it was a 'no thank you'! Where in that statement do you think it says, must reply? |
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"cant people just talk to other people rather than ignoring or deleting their messages, when did it become acceptable to be rude?"
I assume you HAVE read the 'Tips & Getting Started' page...
"Don't expect a reply from everyone:
Some ladies/couples get hundreds of messages each day so it's NOT RUDE FOR THEM NOT TO REPLY. If they don't reply, they're not interested: Don't mail them again."
This is the view of the site's Admin.
If you don't get a reply, then don't worry about it - move on.
Have fun!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually before opening a message, we will check out the senders profile.
If someone can't be bothered to read our profile and see what we are looking for.
Then I can't be bothered to read the message.
Delete and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Someone will be along in a second to talk about number of messages per day, number of seconds per message and how many hours you are expecting some women/couples to spend on here every day answering mail. I can't be bothered to go into it again.
Would a "no thanks" really make you feel better? They didn't like your message or your profile. They don't owe you a reply or anything else.
Focus on the people who do want to meet you. Spending any more time on the ones who don't is a waste.
To be honest, we don't exactly advertise for junk/unsolicited mail do we? But, we do advertise ourselves on this site to meet other people, and that involves sending and recieving msges!
To the op tho, just look at a deleted msg as another way of the recipient saying 'no thanks' and move on! Would it really make you feel better if you were to recieve countless 'no thanks, not my type'?
People who message us choose to use their time to do so though. They have no right to expect anyone to use their time to reply.
I think it's rude, personally, do decide to do something with an expectation that someone else will then give up their time, without any such agreement being in place.
If I mow my neighbour's lawn, could I bitch, in all honesty, if he then won't do something I want him to do in return, if he hadn't wanted me to mow his lawn in the first place and we hadn't agreed it?
Sending a message here is a choice. The recipient is under no obligation whatsoever.
I decide how I spend my time, not strangers who send me messages.
Eh??? You lost me when you popped out to cut someones grass there! I didn't say anybody HAD to reply! All i said was, treat a deletion as if it was a 'no thank you'! Where in that statement do you think it says, must reply?"
You did get that the thread is about it being rude not to reply, yes? The OP is the one who thinks people HAVE to reply.
You disagreed with my unsolicited mail analogy, which is why I quoted you and gave another example of why THE OP (and everyone else) has no right to a reply.
Since the OP has done this thread before, and now seems to think this is some sort of men vs. women/couples contest, I think everyone is wasting their time here.
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Have you considered that you are contacting people that have already expressed a wish, through their profile, not to be contacted by people who don't meet their preferred criteria? For example an age range?
If you're contacting people against the wishes they expressed in their profile and preferences then surely it's you who us being rude. If that was the case I wouldn't expect an answer! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Someone will be along in a second to talk about number of messages per day, number of seconds per message and how many hours you are expecting some women/couples to spend on here every day answering mail. I can't be bothered to go into it again.
Well said
Would a "no thanks" really make you feel better? They didn't like your message or your profile. They don't owe you a reply or anything else.
Focus on the people who do want to meet you. Spending any more time on the ones who don't is a waste."
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Someone will be along in a second to talk about number of messages per day, number of seconds per message and how many hours you are expecting some women/couples to spend on here every day answering mail. I can't be bothered to go into it again.
Would a "no thanks" really make you feel better? They didn't like your message or your profile. They don't owe you a reply or anything else.
Focus on the people who do want to meet you. Spending any more time on the ones who don't is a waste.
To be honest, we don't exactly advertise for junk/unsolicited mail do we? But, we do advertise ourselves on this site to meet other people, and that involves sending and recieving msges!
To the op tho, just look at a deleted msg as another way of the recipient saying 'no thanks' and move on! Would it really make you feel better if you were to recieve countless 'no thanks, not my type'?
People who message us choose to use their time to do so though. They have no right to expect anyone to use their time to reply.
I think it's rude, personally, do decide to do something with an expectation that someone else will then give up their time, without any such agreement being in place.
If I mow my neighbour's lawn, could I bitch, in all honesty, if he then won't do something I want him to do in return, if he hadn't wanted me to mow his lawn in the first place and we hadn't agreed it?
Sending a message here is a choice. The recipient is under no obligation whatsoever.
I decide how I spend my time, not strangers who send me messages.
Eh??? You lost me when you popped out to cut someones grass there! I didn't say anybody HAD to reply! All i said was, treat a deletion as if it was a 'no thank you'! Where in that statement do you think it says, must reply?
You did get that the thread is about it being rude not to reply, yes? The OP is the one who thinks people HAVE to reply.
You disagreed with my unsolicited mail analogy, which is why I quoted you and gave another example of why THE OP (and everyone else) has no right to a reply.
Since the OP has done this thread before, and now seems to think this is some sort of men vs. women/couples contest, I think everyone is wasting their time here.
"
I disagreed with your unsolicited/junk mail analogy because it holds no water in this thread! We DON'T advertise for junk mail, but, we DO advertise for msges by having a profile on this site! So any msges recieved aren't exactly 'unsolicited' are they? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As i have said many times on these threads, the main reason i stopped sending no thanks replies was because i got sick of the amount of guys who cant take rejection and messaged me back telling me i was fat and ugly anyway and how they can do better than me down the pub and i should be grateful they asked to meet me etc
Si now i just dont send out no thanks messages
i dont like rude messgaes, guys dont like no replys, tough life aint it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Junk mail companies send mail, at their expense, when they choose to do so. They have no right to expect a reply and most people just bin the stuff once they ascertain they aren't interested.
Here, people send mail at the expense of their own time, when they decide to do so. They have no right to expect a reply because they chose to send the message. They were not asked to do so. Many messages get binned when the recipient decides they aren't interested.
Of course messages are unsolicited. My profile, when it's visible, describes the type of person I tend to be interested in and says a bit about me, but it doesn't specifically invite anyone to message me and it includes no promise of anything, including a reply, to anyone who does.
People send messages, at best, because they think they fit the profile and at worst because they haven't read the profile at all and are trying their luck.
The former type could maybe be considered solicited messages, but only if the recipient agrees they fit the profile. The rest, and in my experience the majority, are junk mail. Not asked for, not wanted, and not of interest.
I've had guys tell me outright they fit all my preferences when their profile clearly states they don't, on several counts. Men are not always honest or objective about these things! Perhaps what you consider solicited, looks to the recipient like junk.
It's a moot point. Nobody has any obligation to reply to any message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i dont like rude messgaes, guys dont like no replys, tough life aint it "
Life's a bitch and then one ignores your messages.
If they can do so much better at the pub, one wonders why they aren't there with the hotties and a pint, instead of in front of the glare of their screen, bleating about the rude people.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes I reply to msg then I get bombarded with stupid replys I have on my profile if I don't reply I am not interested and i will deleteyour msg but i still get abuse U can't win x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As i have said many times on these threads, the main reason i stopped sending no thanks replies was because i got sick of the amount of guys who cant take rejection and messaged me back telling me i was fat and ugly anyway and how they can do better than me down the pub and i should be grateful they asked to meet me etc
Si now i just dont send out no thanks messages
i dont like rude messgaes, guys dont like no replys, tough life aint it "
lol that's good one x |
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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"It depends what the message says... If it's from someone who hasn't bothered to read our profile and is saying " I've got a great dick when can we fuck" then I don't see why I should reply tbh "
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maybe this could be solved by the option instead of just delete to delete with a no thanks message? I'd even suggest block to be part of the function. As if there not interested whats the point of bein able to message someone again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"cant people just talk to other people rather than ignoring or deleting their messages, when did it become acceptable to be rude? we had that today, had a message from a single guy, took the time to respond, had another message and replied then our message was deleted and and not responded to, don't get it, he looked at our profile 15 times so thought we would be courteous and get to know him,.dont think we will bother on future "
I suspect he was more interested in wanking over your pictures, not that I looked  |
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"cant people just talk to other people rather than ignoring or deleting their messages, when did it become acceptable to be rude? we had that today, had a message from a single guy, took the time to respond, had another message and replied then our message was deleted and and not responded to, don't get it, he looked at our profile 15 times so thought we would be courteous and get to know him,.dont think we will bother on future
I suspect he was more interested in wanking over your pictures, not that I looked "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe instead of getting people to repeat the same things ie it's not rude, personal choice, stops repeat messages etc etc you should just read all the posts you got last time you asked the same question
The answers will be the same !awkward "
The same topics do come up on a regular basis - and it's sometimes good to get new views and opinions.
But on this topic I can't foresee any original and different responses rearing their head - so having clicked the little green arrow and checked the OP's identical question 31 weeks ago - I don't think much has changed in Fabland since then.
And can't see it changing anytime soon either! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You'd think that and I try in the main to reply however a number of these same nice guys then ask to be friends/chat... They must think that "if I chat with her there's a chance she might get to like me."
Some guys type hiya and when I type hiya back it's seen as a big green light saying go let's have sex!
It all becomes tedious and time consumming so sometimes delete is the easier option. It's not rude in my eyes, it's me saying no sorry although I accept it can be percieved that way.
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I find it odd people expect others to spend time sending "no thanks" messages to people they have NO interest in, opposed to "yes please" to those they are.
I read the profile before the message. If they can't accommodate, I read no further and delete the message unread. If they're short, married, basically ANYTHING I'm NOT looking for, the message is deleted. If they're outside London, hell outside south London I delete their message without reading.
In my experience the men that start these whiney threads seldom meet what the other person is looking for. They see someone THEY like, and with a heightened sense of entitlement believe they should be acknowledged!
Well that comes under the heading "get over it"!
EVERYONE meeting my criteria gets a message even if it's a no thanks. Never had a tetchy response. |
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"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
"
Sort of, I put the junk mail from the window company in the replied paid envelope to the solar panel company etc. etc. and post em all off.
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"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Sort of, I put the junk mail from the window company in the replied paid envelope to the solar panel company etc. etc. and post em all off.
"
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"I get some guys send dickhead messages but surely the ones who aren't arseholes deserves a quick reply saying oui or non? "
I always try to be polite so I agree a reply saying out or non would be nice |
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"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Sort of, I put the junk mail from the window company in the replied paid envelope to the solar panel company etc. etc. and post em all off.
"
me to |
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By *llureWoman
over a year ago
London |
"OP do you reply to all your unsolicited junk mail, advertising things you don't want?
Someone will be along in a second to talk about number of messages per day, number of seconds per message and how many hours you are expecting some women/couples to spend on here every day answering mail. I can't be bothered to go into it again.
Would a "no thanks" really make you feel better? They didn't like your message or your profile. They don't owe you a reply or anything else.
Focus on the people who do want to meet you. Spending any more time on the ones who don't is a waste."
Well said that woman! |
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By *llureWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I find it odd people expect others to spend time sending "no thanks" messages to people they have NO interest in, opposed to "yes please" to those they are.
I read the profile before the message. If they can't accommodate, I read no further and delete the message unread. If they're short, married, basically ANYTHING I'm NOT looking for, the message is deleted. If they're outside London, hell outside south London I delete their message without reading.
In my experience the men that start these whiney threads seldom meet what the other person is looking for. They see someone THEY like, and with a heightened sense of entitlement believe they should be acknowledged!
Well that comes under the heading "get over it"!
EVERYONE meeting my criteria gets a message even if it's a no thanks. Never had a tetchy response. "
What she said... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yawn bloody yawn!!! Why do men on here get so worked up about ladies not replying/deleting? I started off by deleting and blocking and then after reading the countless threads by men on here saying it was rude, I thought I would be more polite and reply with "no thanks, your not my type". Needless to say, I am now back to blocking and deleting. One man, after receiving a "no thanks" reply, then proceeded to check out my verifications and told me that my "types" were obviously big and ugly! Talk about being childish! Dont blame the women on here, blame the men (not all) who are unable to take rejection. I would never dream of being rude to a guy if i have sent him a message and he said he wasn't interested. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I have sent so many polite 'no thank yous' which have had a very unpleasant response from men that I hardly even bother now and just delete. I am not here to be abused.
I also send out messages which are ignored and deleted - so what? Move one and get over yourself. |
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"cant people just talk to other people rather than ignoring or deleting their messages, when did it become acceptable to be rude?"
Its frustrating but you will get used to it, dont take it to heart, its not personal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"cant people just talk to other people rather than ignoring or deleting their messages, when did it become acceptable to be rude?
Its frustrating but you will get used to it, dont take it to heart, its not personal"
...sometimes it's personal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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...easier to delete than to have to deal with explaining the reasons why not, as usually those who ask the 'why not?' question are not able to deal with rejection as an freedom of choice of the addressee in the balanced way that they should.
Wolf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just think a little curtisy wouldnt hurt i guess,
i get it if you get a lot of messages but then just take time to reply to people"
I reply to every message, but also get the "why not" or worst slagged off for saying no, from now on I won't be replying, just deleting and blocking. Respect works two ways. If guys want a respectful no thanks, then maybe they should accept it not send more messages to harass the person saying no |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"fair play end of i guess
single men 0
couple and girls 1
"
Yes indeed, being on Fab is a big competition, and the more people I meet, the more I am better than people like you!
Just kidding, but it does sound like you think this is a war, not the fun its supposed to be. If you change your attitude you might find that your messages start getting relies. Just saying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just think a little curtisy wouldnt hurt i guess,
i get it if you get a lot of messages but then just take time to reply to people
I reply to every message, but also get the "why not" or worst slagged off for saying no, from now on I won't be replying, just deleting and blocking. Respect works two ways. If guys want a respectful no thanks, then maybe they should accept it not send more messages to harass the person saying no "
this happens a lot to me too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to agree with Londonman. It only takes seconds to say "sorry, not my type". I fully accept that pathetic mails are not worthy of a reply, i.e. "give us a shag", but a genuine message deserves an acknowledgement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to agree with Londonman. It only takes seconds to say "sorry, not my type". I fully accept that pathetic mails are not worthy of a reply, i.e. "give us a shag", but a genuine message deserves an acknowledgement. "
Why, people can send lengthy emails and still be nasty back when they get a thanks but no thanks. |
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"I have to agree with Londonman. It only takes seconds to say "sorry, not my type". I fully accept that pathetic mails are not worthy of a reply, i.e. "give us a shag", but a genuine message deserves an acknowledgement. "
Does it not depend if the person has read the profile though? We say we're only interested in couples/fems in our preferences, but still get at least a couple of e-mails from single guys most days, there have been some that have said " I appreciate I'm out of your age range/not what you're looking for, but I wanted to say I thought your pics looked great" which I've acknowledged and said thanks, but if someone e-mails us for a meet who hasn't checked what we're looking for then quite frankly I don't see why I should have to explain that.
Similarly I've had e-mails off couples that I haven't responded to which don't even say hi etc, but things like "do you have a cam???" Or "do you have a face pic" and nothing else, which I just find a bit discourteous tbh and tend not to bother replying to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to agree with Londonman. It only takes seconds to say "sorry, not my type". I fully accept that pathetic mails are not worthy of a reply, i.e. "give us a shag", but a genuine message deserves an acknowledgement.
Does it not depend if the person has read the profile though? We say we're only interested in couples/fems in our preferences, but still get at least a couple of e-mails from single guys most days, there have been some that have said " I appreciate I'm out of your age range/not what you're looking for, but I wanted to say I thought your pics looked great" which I've acknowledged and said thanks, but if someone e-mails us for a meet who hasn't checked what we're looking for then quite frankly I don't see why I should have to explain that.
Similarly I've had e-mails off couples that I haven't responded to which don't even say hi etc, but things like "do you have a cam???" Or "do you have a face pic" and nothing else, which I just find a bit discourteous tbh and tend not to bother replying to. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does anyone ever notice a distinct correlation between these types of threads, the occasional moany status update and the lengthe of time someone's been on site and the number of 'meet in person' verifications?
Just wondering - Sydney - if you're really out there could you jump in with some statistics please?
Cheers muchly!! |
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"Yawn bloody yawn!!! Why do men on here get so worked up about ladies not replying/deleting? I started off by deleting and blocking and then after reading the countless threads by men on here saying it was rude, I thought I would be more polite and reply with "no thanks, your not my type". Needless to say, I am now back to blocking and deleting. One man, after receiving a "no thanks" reply, then proceeded to check out my verifications and told me that my "types" were obviously big and ugly! Talk about being childish! Dont blame the women on here, blame the men (not all) who are unable to take rejection. I would never dream of being rude to a guy if i have sent him a message and he said he wasn't interested. "
My experience too. Even though I have I'll not reply to anyone outwith my criteria on my profile, after reading these whiney threads I thought, ok, I'll give this "thanks, but no thanks" malarkey a shot.
Quelle surprise the rude responses I got. Apparently at my age and size, competing with the nubile young things on site I couldn't afford to be so picky. I was really looking for a boyfriend otherwise what difference did it make if they were married etc.
After a few of those I scolded myself for wasting time on people I had absolutely no interest in who didn't meet my hedonistic needs.
Now delete and not give a second thought! |
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"I have to agree with Londonman. It only takes seconds to say "sorry, not my type". I fully accept that pathetic mails are not worthy of a reply, i.e. "give us a shag", but a genuine message deserves an acknowledgement. "
Why?
My profile is specific: no chance of ambiguity as to the type of person I'm looking for.
Why should I respond to a Dom seeking a "slut to dress in mini skirts" to join him and another Dom? Where on my profile does that fit in with what I'm looking for?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just take a deleted msg to mean the gal isn't interested, so i move on!
Sometimes i even prefer no answer! I can just say to myself that she doern't know me so doesn't know what shes missing, a crap idea i know, but imagine the hammering the confidence would take if we recieved nothing but, 'sorry, your not my type'? Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I sent a polite no thanks to every message I got that I wasn't I interested In all is be doing is replying to mail
I logged on today and had 34 messages, within about 10 mins of logging on is say another 10ish came thro, then I get a steady flow while logged on as more mail you if it shows your online and that's a normal amount of mail for me I get 50+ a day easy, More if I go in chat I can get upto and at times over 100 messages if I put my cam on
Tell me this is the tables were turned and women out numbered men 100 to 1 who honestly think guys would send out a no thanks to 50+ women a day they had zero interest in? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just take a deleted msg to mean the gal isn't interested, so i move on!
Sometimes i even prefer no answer! I can just say to myself that she doern't know me so doesn't know what shes missing, a crap idea i know, but imagine the hammering the confidence would take if we recieved nothing but, 'sorry, your not my type'? Lol."
Like I have just said on another thread on broadly the same subject - the only thing that matters (specially as a single guy) is RESPONSES - not whether someone has deleted your message without reading it, or read it and done nothing with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"cant people just talk to other people rather than ignoring or deleting their messages, when did it become acceptable to be rude?"
So you write to your local pizza place every week to say a polite 'no thanks' when they put their latest leaflet through your door, do you..?? Well, hope your halo never slips.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I logged on today I had six messages, all polite but when I checked out the senders profiles none of them matched my preferences as stated in my profile, why should I reply to them?
I can guarantee a least half would tell me somethin along the lines of 'your a fat minger I wouldnt have shagged you anyway'
At least one would have pleaded for me to rethink, totally ignoring the fact I have good reasons for my preferences.
At least two will mail again within a few weeks forgetting they have already messages
If i reply it means that if I block one group they will still be able to message as we have already had contact.
Its not rude not to reply, its just a form of saying no with no risk of a negative come back.
Look for the positives on this site rather than dwelling on what you perceive to be the negatives and enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just take a deleted msg to mean the gal isn't interested, so i move on!
Sometimes i even prefer no answer! I can just say to myself that she doern't know me so doesn't know what shes missing, a crap idea i know, but imagine the hammering the confidence would take if we recieved nothing but, 'sorry, your not my type'? Lol.
Like I have just said on another thread on broadly the same subject - the only thing that matters (specially as a single guy) is RESPONSES - not whether someone has deleted your message without reading it, or read it and done nothing with it. "
Exactly! Every response i get makes up for the umpteen deleted ones! (even tho 90% of the responses say....yep, you've got it, 'no thanks' lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I logged on today I had six messages, all polite but when I checked out the senders profiles none of them matched my preferences as stated in my profile, why should I reply to them?
I can guarantee a least half would tell me somethin along the lines of 'your a fat minger I wouldnt have shagged you anyway'
At least one would have pleaded for me to rethink, totally ignoring the fact I have good reasons for my preferences.
At least two will mail again within a few weeks forgetting they have already messages
If i reply it means that if I block one group they will still be able to message as we have already had contact.
Its not rude not to reply, its just a form of saying no with no risk of a negative come back.
Look for the positives on this site rather than dwelling on what you perceive to be the negatives and enjoy"
(Pork) |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
"cant people just talk to other people rather than ignoring or deleting their messages, when did it become acceptable to be rude?"
OP I try to reply to everyone that has taken the time to write me but on several occasions I have reached my messages limit and the system doesn't allow me send send any more until the following day.
I send a no thank message to anyone that doesn't appeal to me:
"Thanks very much for taking the time to message me but unfortunately you don’t match what I’m looking for on this site.
Good luck with your search anyway happy swinging"
My message is very clear but it opens the gate for an ongoing tennis match.
"Please can you tell me what you are looking for because I tick all your boxes"
So I personally delete all messages after rejection and or block as I find it easier and I don't want to reach my message limit on people that I'm not interested in.
P.s why do you care if the message is deleted anyway??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as in you send someone a message and rather than saying 'not our type etc' they just delete and move on"
The amount of inboxes women get... Id b all wrinkly n grey if i sat replying to every needy cock  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the vast bulk of women and couples are rude and self absorbed, thats why"
Rubbish
If you got as many messages a day as me I guarantee you wouldn't message back to every single one of them
I reply to ones worthy of a reply
I mail back to ones I'm interested in meeting
Ones that are well written but I don't fancy I will send a no thanks too
But I do not reply to guys who mail me when they are not what my profile states I'm looking for, nor do I reply to couples or guys who ask to come to my house
If people read my profile and mail me even tho they don't fit what I've said I'm looking for why does that make me self absorbed or rude if I don't reply? I'd say it more makes them the rude and self absorbed ones for expecting a reply even tho they clearly aren't what I'm after but think fuck it i'm mailing her anyway
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can see both sides, I agree it's not exactly best manners to not respond at all but this is a bit different
If you were to talk to someone in the street and they just walked off then you'd probably consider it rude? On here a couple or single women (maybe even some single guys) are bound to be inundated with messages and it would take far too much time to reply to everyone.
So on a site which sole purpose is to arrange to meet, and ultimately for a very specific thing, we just need to get used to it. If someone can/does take the time to reply then great if not move on and chat with someone else. I'm sure there is someone out there for everyone on here
Ian |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a guy walked upto me in real life and said fancy a fuck, I would just walk off, yet they do it on here and expect a reply and if they don't we're the rude ones! |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"If a guy walked upto me in real life and said fancy a fuck, I would just walk off, yet they do it on here and expect a reply and if they don't we're the rude ones! "
I agree with you one hundred percent. Just because this is a swing site it does not mean there are no boundaries. Likewise I would treat all men with the same respect I would expect.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy walked upto me in real life and said fancy a fuck, I would just walk off, yet they do it on here and expect a reply and if they don't we're the rude ones! "
Lol that's a very good point.
I guess I meant the ones who send "normal" messages or who would actually try and talk to you first rather than just trying to dry humpyour leg |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bit of an addition to the op 's post.
For the women/couples what sort of percentage of messages would you say are "let me fuck you right now" type messages?
So far I haven't sent a message like that cause of expect it to get me a virtual slap! |
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"Bit of an addition to the op 's post.
For the women/couples what sort of percentage of messages would you say are "let me fuck you right now" type messages?
So far I haven't sent a message like that cause of expect it to get me a virtual slap! "
I would say about 50% of the mails we receive each day are that type of message and one liners. Half don't even bother to read your profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bit of an addition to the op 's post.
For the women/couples what sort of percentage of messages would you say are "let me fuck you right now" type messages?
So far I haven't sent a message like that cause of expect it to get me a virtual slap!
I would say about 50% of the mails we receive each day are that type of message and one liners. Half don't even bother to read your profile."
I can see how it must be frustrating.
I've only been on for a short time but got a friend request from some one local, accepted, messaged them and then nothing then next thing blocked! Lol
Some people are odd! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they read our profile and send a decent message then we tend to send a polite no thanks. If they send a hi, or even better...do you recon your Mrs could stick my 8 inches down her throat...that either gets deleted or blocked. |
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