FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Abusive messages
Abusive messages
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How many have you recieved today?
I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me
11 of them were from the same person
(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many have you recieved today?
I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me
11 of them were from the same person
(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules) "
Question.
Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many have you recieved today?
I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me
11 of them were from the same person
(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)
Question.
Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10. "
Should she have to? Or should the onus be on the abuser correcting their behaviour or facing the consequences? |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"How many have you recieved today?
I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me
11 of them were from the same person
(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)
Question.
Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How many have you recieved today?
I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me
11 of them were from the same person
(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)
Question.
Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10. "
I was logged off and logged into 10 messages from them hahaha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How many have you recieved today?
I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me
11 of them were from the same person
(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)
Question.
Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10.
Should she have to? Or should the onus be on the abuser correcting their behaviour or facing the consequences?"
Yes because it's obviously the womans fault when they receive abusive messages on here |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
"
Should she have to? Or should the onus be on the abuser correcting their behaviour or facing the consequences?"
No one should have to ...but it's Fab   ...and that's sad  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m on 8.
Though three of them are from the same person. The first one was so funny in its lack of originality that I couldn’t help poor the beast by scoring it 2/10"
Yeah mine weren't great, out of the 11, 5 of the then were repeated  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What sort of abudive comments do you get?"
I won't be specific on these messages but in general, I get called different variations if the word 'fat' and some lovely racist comments as well |
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"I’m on 8.
Though three of them are from the same person. The first one was so funny in its lack of originality that I couldn’t help poor the beast by scoring it 2/10
Yeah mine weren't great, out of the 11, 5 of the then were repeated "
They’re never particularly good.
I wouldn’t mind so much if they were at least original |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve sent a sarcastic one to somebody who had sent a friend request but hadn’t even messaged us. Unfortunately for them they were the last straw in the pot today. So they might have found the sarcasm offensive……but in that case dilligaf !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really what is the point in sending messages like that.
It's life accept and move on!"
If that’s aimed at us we look on it as trying to help educate the uneducated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry to hear that, OP. How unpleasant to log in and find those I had my profile off most of today so just messages from friends. Does it help if you use filters? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry to hear that, OP. How unpleasant to log in and find those I had my profile off most of today so just messages from friends. Does it help if you use filters? "
I have allllll of the filters applied
I get them all the time. If I don't reply I get them, if I do reply I get them
It's a lose lose situation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Zero but we do say we’re not meeting in our profile header.
I think couples get a lot less because of the 50/50 chance it’s the male responding. Just block and move on. If they need to resort to abuse they’re clearly not worth your time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't think I've ever had an abusive or offensive message.
I choose not to get offended by words on a screen from a random I will never meet.
"
When unless you recieve messages calling you a black bitch it's not really upto to make side comments about whether people get offended by "words on a screen"
 |
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"Don't think I've ever had an abusive or offensive message.
I choose not to get offended by words on a screen from a random I will never meet.
When unless you recieve messages calling you a black bitch it's not really upto to make side comments about whether people get offended by "words on a screen"
"
It wasn't a snide comment. I can fully understand why certain things will offend people. I was only explaining my point of view of messages from here. The other person does not know me. I dont know them. Their words have no importance. Their opinion of me is irrelevant to me and the block button is a handy tool.
I hit that button and never give them a second thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.
Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?
Also why receive more than one from the same person?
We’d block them immediately. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.
Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?
Also why receive more than one from the same person?
We’d block them immediately. "
Yes of course its my fault |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.
Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?
Also why receive more than one from the same person?
We’d block them immediately.
Yes of course its my fault "
Perhaps excessive sarcasm is the problem? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.
Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?
Also why receive more than one from the same person?
We’d block them immediately.
Yes of course its my fault
Perhaps excessive sarcasm is the problem? "
First of all I have already stated that I get just as many when I don't respond at all
And 2nd of all whether I'm sarcastic or not doesn't mean I deserve to be fat shamed or racially abused as a response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always get them from lady’s as well as men this place is what it is
Tend to just ignore more on got a very personal one slagging me off Friday from lady one on Saturday off man
My attitude now is pass on by fro |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry to hear that, OP. How unpleasant to log in and find those I had my profile off most of today so just messages from friends. Does it help if you use filters?
I have allllll of the filters applied
I get them all the time. If I don't reply I get them, if I do reply I get them
It's a lose lose situation "
It sounds crap. I've seen other women say they're getting similar messages regularly and it gets to them. Of course it would. Are they just from men - are you tempted to just look for women? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.
Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?
Also why receive more than one from the same person?
We’d block them immediately.
Yes of course its my fault
Perhaps excessive sarcasm is the problem? "
NO. The people who send the messages are the problem. What an appalling comment.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am only on five today, I usually just block the idiots
Never  you are lovely  "
Usually just idiots who are jealous I guess or I have declined their offers of a meet |
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I hope you’re ok OP. It’s easy to say ignore but sometimes it can be upsetting.
I had 1 today, wasn’t necessarily abusive. Was called an ignorant cretin because I deleted a message sent from a hidden profile xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many have you recieved today?
I'm on 14 which I think is a record for me
11 of them were from the same person
(Please don't specify what was in the messages as its against forum rules)
Question.
Why didn’t you block the person after the first one. You wouldn’t have received the other 10.
Should she have to? Or should the onus be on the abuser correcting their behaviour or facing the consequences?"
But how does that happen? How do you get someone to reflect on their behaviours?
Some people are systematic in their abuse, some do so out of frustration. Some do it because they can
Nothing wrong with protecting yourself, I see blocking as looking out for myself because you cannot rely on others to let alone the abuser |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s very rare for us to receive abusive messages.
Perhaps you’re being too harsh in your responses?
Also why receive more than one from the same person?
We’d block them immediately.
Yes of course its my fault
Perhaps excessive sarcasm is the problem?
NO. The people who send the messages are the problem. What an appalling comment. "
Unfortunately this kind of comment always gets brought up doing a discussion like that
And the people who make these comments also ignore the fact that women get just as many abusive messages when they delete messages without responding as they do when they reply "no thank you" |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
First off it's terrible that you've received such messages, it's not your fault and you shouldn't have to deal with it, but I do wonder why you don't use procedures to reduce the likelihood of it happening?
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By *UFSWoman
over a year ago
belfast |
Very very few that I know of,but then I only open messages from folk I know or have chatted to,I simply delete any unsolicited mail from guys (as it says on my profile),or from couples I suspect are male dominated |
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I've not received any today, but a few weeks back I got a single word message from a man. I'm not looking for guys so I ignored it. He followed it up a day later with a 5 word message (or at least 3 words and 2 textspeak abbreviations), then 2 hours later with a 3 word insult saying that I was rude for not replying.
I'm a fat, mid-fifties guy with no profile pictures. I really didn't expect to get hassle for not replying to unsolicited messages.
I can't imagine what it must be like to be an attractive female on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First off it's terrible that you've received such messages, it's not your fault and you shouldn't have to deal with it, but I do wonder why you don't use procedures to reduce the likelihood of it happening?
The OP has indicated she has all filters on.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am only on five today, I usually just block the idiots
Never you are lovely
Usually just idiots who are jealous I guess or I have declined their offers of a meet"
You know I want to meet |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"We’ve sent a sarcastic one to somebody who had sent a friend request but hadn’t even messaged us. Unfortunately for them they were the last straw in the pot today. So they might have found the sarcasm offensive……but in that case dilligaf ! "
We do that, we sent a very sarcastic message to the profile that sent us a friends request this morning point out all the reasons why we would not be accepting said friends request. It has been read and deleted so clearly our helpful pointers on how to improve their profile in order to get more from their profile was clear not taken on board. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I haven't for a while now thankfully. If I reply with a no thanks, I do tend to block now just to ensure they can't come back with any insults.
There's absolutely no need for it, here or anywhere else. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"First off it's terrible that you've received such messages, it's not your fault and you shouldn't have to deal with it, but I do wonder why you don't use procedures to reduce the likelihood of it happening?
"
Such as? |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I've not had any abusive messages today, but I usually receive several every week. Sorry you've had a run of them OP. Some of the comments on this thread are shocking, with people unable to comprehend what it can be like for people receiving unpleasant messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blocking males and you make the first move simples "
Some women won't want to do this. Why should they have to change their behaviour when they're not at fault? |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"First off it's terrible that you've received such messages, it's not your fault and you shouldn't have to deal with it, but I do wonder why you don't use procedures to reduce the likelihood of it happening?
Such as?"
Blocking those that you're not interested in. |
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I've never had any abusive messages, but then I don't get that many messages anyway.
I do get strange and unhappy ones, but if they are a problem, I just block.
Nobody should get abuse, sadly some people just cannot accept rejection or anyone with a different viewpoint. |
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