FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why do people want friendships on here ?
Why do people want friendships on here ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking ! |
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I am always very clear that I am for most couple purely a 'rent a cock'. I respect those social boundaries and they always set the pace.
Ask it happens, with a small number that I have met over the years on a regular basis a friendship has developed but again I never abuse that trust by any attempt to take it further.
I am an extension to that couples own love making not a part of it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some are here for fucks some for friends some for both, humans are allowed variety no?"
Yes that what I just said above didn't I! I just wanted to know why some like a friendship I find it abit strange because this is a private sex thing it's not something you go around telling people about or wanting people to find out about that's all . Again I respect people's decisions it's what ever they want to do but it's not for us |
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Some ppl like to form friendships with ppl to maybe play regular with am sure there is plenty off occasions that's its just wham bam thank you mam!like at parties...me personally don't mind either am definitely not here for any sort of relationship other than friends with benefits if that happens! Everyone uses fab for totally different things it's just called having a preference x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wish I could understand it as well, the reason I came on fab in the first place was to have NSA sex not to make friends. Ok a chat to make sure they are not a D**k head. I don't see how knowing where they have been on holiday or what they had for dinner is going to change how good they are in the bedroom.
Good luck |
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Totally agree with the posts here, some guy said he wanted to get to know me, I said politely, I don’t want to get to know you, he took the huff, sent a snotty message then blocked us…. I’m happy to keep in touch with people we have met, but some people have ideas that they want to interject fully into our lives, that’s not what we are looking for, but I respect that this is what others want out of fab.
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !"
Yes, you are missing something. Some people see swinging as a lifestyle where they can form a close group of friends that they can meet up with for drinks and a social outside of getting naked and naughty. Neither is wrong or right. And you are not required to understand it. Just as we're not required to understand why someone would want to fuck a relative stranger. Different things for different folks. Simple as that. Enjoy all that you do, and let others have their style of fun without judgement  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Totally agree with the posts here, some guy said he wanted to get to know me, I said politely, I don’t want to get to know you, he took the huff, sent a snotty message then blocked us…. I’m happy to keep in touch with people we have met, but some people have ideas that they want to interject fully into our lives, that’s not what we are looking for, but I respect that this is what others want out of fab.
Mrs x "
This is my point here !!! Exactly. Don't want nobody coming into our life like that . Its a casual thing she's still my wife at the end of the day who I love and ain't prepared for someone to think they are apart of her life because they fucked her ! I'd make the boundaries clear before hand anyway |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !
Yes, you are missing something. Some people see swinging as a lifestyle where they can form a close group of friends that they can meet up with for drinks and a social outside of getting naked and naughty. Neither is wrong or right. And you are not required to understand it. Just as we're not required to understand why someone would want to fuck a relative stranger. Different things for different folks. Simple as that. Enjoy all that you do, and let others have their style of fun without judgement "
Yes that's a fair point |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There’s more to fab and swinging than sex for me personally. I like the clubs, socials, making friends is a key part for me."
I agree to make friends in a community like such as here online because obviously you like to know your not alone in this fantasy and it's a shared thing with others but making friends with people who have slept with your wife and yourself is abit far fetched . I think it could get sticky |
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"There’s more to fab and swinging than sex for me personally. I like the clubs, socials, making friends is a key part for me.
I agree to make friends in a community like such as here online because obviously you like to know your not alone in this fantasy and it's a shared thing with others but making friends with people who have slept with your wife and yourself is abit far fetched . I think it could get sticky "
It’s very different to just having it as a fantasy. Everyone wants different things out of fab at the end of the day. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There’s more to fab and swinging than sex for me personally. I like the clubs, socials, making friends is a key part for me.
I agree to make friends in a community like such as here online because obviously you like to know your not alone in this fantasy and it's a shared thing with others but making friends with people who have slept with your wife and yourself is abit far fetched . I think it could get sticky
It’s very different to just having it as a fantasy. Everyone wants different things out of fab at the end of the day."
Yes very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've made some great friends on here and other sites, it's good to have people with similar interests who you can openly talk to about the lifestyle. It's not something I speak to my "normal" friends about.
Mrs |
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People are here for different reasons. Some want friendship, others don't.
Personally if I wanted sex without friendship I'd hire a sex worker.
I'm a little fussy who I let anywhere near my vagina. |
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A lot meet up socially for drinks and chatting with like minded people, some even arrange their holidays to meet up. Better than just sitting round the pool on your own, swinging is for fun not just sex or am i missing something. |
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I'm here to make friends and have fun
I much prefer playing with regulars that you can have a laugh and a giggle with, chew the fat,put the world's to right have a cup of coffee  then have some fun  |
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Hubby n I play at clubs as well as the occasional meet outside of it. We’ve made some good friends at club, who we only see at club and sit n have a catch up and that suits us great. On the other hand, we have meets outside with people who I’ve maybe exchanged a few messages with and have no intentions of it being more than a one off.
We play it by how we feel at the time. There’s no pressure to make friends. You mind find though that as you spend longer in the lifestyle your feelings change. The lifestyle is there for fun, enjoyment and exploration, so as long as it works for you and doesn’t interfere and affect with your marriage in a negative way I’d say just enjoy the journey x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !
Yes, you are missing something. Some people see swinging as a lifestyle where they can form a close group of friends that they can meet up with for drinks and a social outside of getting naked and naughty. Neither is wrong or right. And you are not required to understand it. Just as we're not required to understand why someone would want to fuck a relative stranger. Different things for different folks. Simple as that. Enjoy all that you do, and let others have their style of fun without judgement "
We agree with this well said x |
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"People are here for different reasons. Some want friendship, others don't.
Personally if I wanted sex without friendship I'd hire a sex worker.
I'm a little fussy who I let anywhere near my vagina."
As a single women on here I agree with this x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People are here for different reasons. Some want friendship, others don't.
Personally if I wanted sex without friendship I'd hire a sex worker.
I'm a little fussy who I let anywhere near my vagina."
THIS |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps this is something you and your wife need to discuss more OP.
I note from your profile you say you are both just exploring this at the moment. Perhaps you need to understand what both your expectations would be.
I have met a good friend through FAB who I have regular meets with bit we also talk about all sorts of other mundane things. I’ve also had one off’s.
As a single woman with no baggage I can do what suits me at that time. For couples you both need to be in the same headspace to make it work. |
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I think you need to be 100% secure in your relationship you also need to understand that the people you're having sex with are real humans who aren't just an accessory to your fantasy.
If you don't want friendship that's fine but you do need to treat the people you meet with respect |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !"
No not everyone is on here to fuck. It’s weird you are a single profile but mention a wife! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I felt a bit cheap after a wam bam thankyou mam type meet, so wasn't for me at all. They treated me as such afterwards too.
So meets without friendship isn't the type of meet I enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Outside of our lifestyle we have friends but not "couple" friends.
Being on here gives us an opportunity to find others that share the same common interests. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !
No not everyone is on here to fuck. It’s weird you are a single profile but mention a wife!"
Why would I lie ? Lol I'm a verified male my wife isn't ready to come on here yet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !
No not everyone is on here to fuck. It’s weird you are a single profile but mention a wife!"
Also if that was the case I'd just make a fake couples profile wouldn't I? Think about it . Got no reason to lie ffs  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think you need to be 100% secure in your relationship you also need to understand that the people you're having sex with are real humans who aren't just an accessory to your fantasy.
If you don't want friendship that's fine but you do need to treat the people you meet with respect"
Yeah I understand that .. we would treat them with respect that's what boundaries are for... we know what we want out of it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Surely you can manage (if you wish) NSA and friends as well? Each to their own of how they manage themselves."
NSA would be my preference. I wouldn't mind if we met the same person again if we was comfortable but not like bring him in as a regular thing or apart of our relationship if that makes sense |
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"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !"
Some of the best times we've had are with friends and repeated meets. Some lasted a few months, others a few years. You learn about each other in ways you can't during a one-off, sex just gets better and better, doubts and nerves fade away, trust grows, fantasies discussed and some acted out, weekends away together, meals out, staying over, bed hopping. Girls shopping together etc. If you are in a solid, open and honest relationship, discuss what can go wrong and how to avoid it, there's no problem ! |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !
No not everyone is on here to fuck. It’s weird you are a single profile but mention a wife!
Also if that was the case I'd just make a fake couples profile wouldn't I? Think about it . Got no reason to lie ffs "
Plenty of male profile have a fake wife believe me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !
No not everyone is on here to fuck. It’s weird you are a single profile but mention a wife!
Also if that was the case I'd just make a fake couples profile wouldn't I? Think about it . Got no reason to lie ffs
Plenty of male profile have a fake wife believe me lol"
Exactly it’s not like it’s uncommon in here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !
No not everyone is on here to fuck. It’s weird you are a single profile but mention a wife!
Also if that was the case I'd just make a fake couples profile wouldn't I? Think about it . Got no reason to lie ffs
Plenty of male profile have a fake wife believe me lol"
Well I don't..I don't have no reason to . Sad people who do things like that |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Always nice to enjoy the social aspects knowing we have other things on our minds as well adds to the chemistry to be able to enjoy the company never knowing where it may lead without expectations |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always nice to enjoy the social aspects knowing we have other things on our minds as well adds to the chemistry to be able to enjoy the company never knowing where it may lead without expectations"
I can understand it to a certain point but can't things get to close for comfort? |
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"We've made some great friends on here and other sites, it's good to have people with similar interests who you can openly talk to about the lifestyle. It's not something I speak to my "normal" friends about.
Mrs"
Exactly this. We’ve not been doing this long but are looking to make friends. It is completely realistic for my hubby to be friends with someone I’ve slept with as we’re all adults and understand the dynamic (and respect is a huge part of it)
I love the idea of being able to chat to friends about this part of our lives. Also for me I’m attracted to a person as a whole, not just their physical appearance. Therefore if I get to know someone a little and have that spark, the connection and therefore the sex is incredible. I’ve met people who I’ve nothing in common with and the sex is pretty dull!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I come in here as part of a wider community ie swinging
I have a profile in another site where I indulge my more fetish fkcuing side.
If I want a shag and go or a dial a shag I go there.
This is more community linked for me and I prefer going to a social for drinks and a night out
without the hassle of being judged for what I do
Yes I attend evenings where there is possibly a dungeon and something a bit more risqué but that’s not what I’m looking for here |
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"I think you need to be 100% secure in your relationship you also need to understand that the people you're having sex with are real humans who aren't just an accessory to your fantasy.
If you don't want friendship that's fine but you do need to treat the people you meet with respect
Yeah I understand that .. we would treat them with respect that's what boundaries are for... we know what we want out of it "
It depends how you communicate those boundaries though.
I've spoken to couples who only focused on the boundaries. Despite reminding them that if we ever reached the point of discussing a meet it would be social only they kept giving me instructions about what was going to happen in the hotel room immediately after the social. I told them they weren't listening and blocked them.
As far as why people want friendships on here the clue is in the term fwb. It stands for friend with benefits not fanny with benefits.
There are lots of things I don't understand on here but if they don't interest me I'm not dismissive of them. |
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"Always nice to enjoy the social aspects knowing we have other things on our minds as well adds to the chemistry to be able to enjoy the company never knowing where it may lead without expectations
I can understand it to a certain point but can't things get to close for comfort?"
Are you concerned that swinging could affect your relationship? |
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"Always nice to enjoy the social aspects knowing we have other things on our minds as well adds to the chemistry to be able to enjoy the company never knowing where it may lead without expectations
I can understand it to a certain point but can't things get to close for comfort?
Are you concerned that swinging could affect your relationship?"
It's perfectly natural to feel that way. It was one of my concerns when we were discussing it all. We talked it through and I realised that our relationship is waaay stronger than any brief encounter we could have with other people and we tend to approach this as a unit rather than individuals. Sort of what happens to one happens to us both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as why people want friendships on here the clue is in the term fwb. It stands for friend with benefits not fanny with benefits. "
This is an excellent comment.  |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Me and my misses was talking earlier and she said if she was to do this then she wouldn't be interested in building a relationship with someone or friendship. I thought the same I mean aren't people on here just to fuck ? Or am I missing something ? I do understand people like regular playmates that's fair enough . But what's wrong with abit of bam thank you mam situation? I still love my wife and wouldn't want to share her in that way with someone . It would he more of a NSA situation and one offs ! I'm not discriminating people who do like regulars so don't have a pop at me . I'm new to this hence why I'm asking !
No not everyone is on here to fuck. It’s weird you are a single profile but mention a wife!
Also if that was the case I'd just make a fake couples profile wouldn't I? Think about it . Got no reason to lie ffs
Plenty of male profile have a fake wife believe me lol
Well I don't..I don't have no reason to . Sad people who do things like that "
Unf fab is full of them |
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It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point "
Because women want to feel safe, how is that hard to grasp? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always nice to enjoy the social aspects knowing we have other things on our minds as well adds to the chemistry to be able to enjoy the company never knowing where it may lead without expectations
I can understand it to a certain point but can't things get to close for comfort?
Are you concerned that swinging could affect your relationship?"
Not at all |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point "
I would call going for a social dating. I like to see if I like the person before doing anything else
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Each to their and maybe enjoy the chat of the naughty lifestyle without being judged etc, although we tend to keep friends and fab completely separate x"
We definitely would to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point
Because women want to feel safe, how is that hard to grasp?"
Exactly this! You can pick up a lot of vibes from people from a social. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point
Because women want to feel safe, how is that hard to grasp?"
If your single that's fair ..if your a couple don't really see the point in a pre drink just makes it more awkward ..want to get down to the deed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point
Because women want to feel safe, how is that hard to grasp?
If your single that's fair ..if your a couple don't really see the point in a pre drink just makes it more awkward ..want to get down to the deed "
I guess it depends on the dynamics of the couple. If it's one whereby he will be with her at all times your statement kinda hold weight but if it's one where she plays alone then she needs to feel safe and comfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always want a social so definitely more of a connection than a fuck and go but even though we may meet more than once or see others repeatedly at clubs we don’t want to go for a day out walking with them.
There is a line but it’s a bit blurred.
We’re still fairly new though so who knows? |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It can be whatever anyone wants it to be. That's why the site works .
Personally I've no interest in wham bam sex with anyone because I have found it's usually pretty crap sex with the other person just looking out for what they want and absolutely no respect for what I want. So I prefer having a connection with the people I meet and have met. Sometimes we become good friends sometimes just fbs. And on the off occasion it's been a once off mainly because of the reason given above.
But there are plenty who just want to meet for one offs and that's fine. That's why it works on here.And respecting that others may not be looking for the same as you is just as important as finding what you are looking for on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can be whatever anyone wants it to be. That's why the site works .
Personally I've no interest in wham bam sex with anyone because I have found it's usually pretty crap sex with the other person just looking out for what they want and absolutely no respect for what I want. So I prefer having a connection with the people I meet and have met. Sometimes we become good friends sometimes just fbs. And on the off occasion it's been a once off mainly because of the reason given above.
But there are plenty who just want to meet for one offs and that's fine. That's why it works on here.And respecting that others may not be looking for the same as you is just as important as finding what you are looking for on here. "
What's FBs |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It can be whatever anyone wants it to be. That's why the site works .
Personally I've no interest in wham bam sex with anyone because I have found it's usually pretty crap sex with the other person just looking out for what they want and absolutely no respect for what I want. So I prefer having a connection with the people I meet and have met. Sometimes we become good friends sometimes just fbs. And on the off occasion it's been a once off mainly because of the reason given above.
But there are plenty who just want to meet for one offs and that's fine. That's why it works on here.And respecting that others may not be looking for the same as you is just as important as finding what you are looking for on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened 3 time with us over the years.
You meet someone a few times and becomes a friendship as well as sexual. All 3 arnt on the scene any more but we still keep intouch. |
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"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point
Because women want to feel safe, how is that hard to grasp?
If your single that's fair ..if your a couple don't really see the point in a pre drink just makes it more awkward ..want to get down to the deed "
Does your wife feel the same? |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"It can be whatever anyone wants it to be. That's why the site works .
Personally I've no interest in wham bam sex with anyone because I have found it's usually pretty crap sex with the other person just looking out for what they want and absolutely no respect for what I want. So I prefer having a connection with the people I meet and have met. Sometimes we become good friends sometimes just fbs. And on the off occasion it's been a once off mainly because of the reason given above.
But there are plenty who just want to meet for one offs and that's fine. That's why it works on here.And respecting that others may not be looking for the same as you is just as important as finding what you are looking for on here.
What's FBs"
Fuck buddies you know each other but you basically meet up just for sex as oppose to Fwb which is friends with benefits.where you are actually friends as well . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can be whatever anyone wants it to be. That's why the site works .
Personally I've no interest in wham bam sex with anyone because I have found it's usually pretty crap sex with the other person just looking out for what they want and absolutely no respect for what I want. So I prefer having a connection with the people I meet and have met. Sometimes we become good friends sometimes just fbs. And on the off occasion it's been a once off mainly because of the reason given above.
But there are plenty who just want to meet for one offs and that's fine. That's why it works on here.And respecting that others may not be looking for the same as you is just as important as finding what you are looking for on here.
What's FBs
Fuck buddies you know each other but you basically meet up just for sex as oppose to Fwb which is friends with benefits.where you are actually friends as well ."
Yeah I make what it means ..I just didn't know the short term. Fbs or fwbs lol |
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"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point
Because women want to feel safe, how is that hard to grasp?"
Exactly... |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point
Because women want to feel safe, how is that hard to grasp?
If your single that's fair ..if your a couple don't really see the point in a pre drink just makes it more awkward ..want to get down to the deed "
A lot of couples want drinks etc first on fab |
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For one thing I actually need to like the person I’m having sex with. I find it hard to switch myself off enough to not care.
Also, for me the build up to the meet is a big part of it. I like it so when we get to the actual meet we are at the point where we can’t wait to get our hands on each other. I want to feel like they want me and not just anyone.
Making friendships isn’t something we thought about when we joined here but actually we have and we like that we have like minded friends, even if they aren’t always the ones we end up having sex with.
Kx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People look to make friends anywhere don’t they?
I know there’s the ‘I’m not at work to make friends’ mantra usually said by people who are tests themselves, but why wouldn’t you want to make friends? |
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Everyone uses the site different
My husband and I were of the same thoughts as you and your wife, we don't do socials and most of our meets are what we call 'fuck & go's' but I have to say over time you may find your mindset may change just as many peoples boundaries do
I can now see the benefit of us having a few male friends rather than looking for new guys each time etc, whereas we've always said we weren't interested in repeat meets
There's no right or wrong, use the site his best works for you |
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I am friendly with all those I meet. I can't imagine not being g on good terms with someone I am having sex with.
Is that a friendship? Probably not. Its a mutual respect and shared interests thing.
Would I be adverse to it? Not at all. |
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"I think you need to be 100% secure in your relationship you also need to understand that the people you're having sex with are real humans who aren't just an accessory to your fantasy.
If you don't want friendship that's fine but you do need to treat the people you meet with respect"
This 100%
My Ex used to refer to guys from here as “they’re just cocks” he was so wrong, but then he also referred to me as a “piece of meat” you could say that’s why he’s Ex  |
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"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point
Because women want to feel safe, how is that hard to grasp?
If your single that's fair ..if your a couple don't really see the point in a pre drink just makes it more awkward ..want to get down to the deed "
That's your choice, I'm half a couple and we'd never meet without a social first. We like the social side too though and have made some good friends too.
You'll find what works for you, but socials save any awkwardness and you can gage the attraction. |
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"I think you need to be 100% secure in your relationship you also need to understand that the people you're having sex with are real humans who aren't just an accessory to your fantasy.
If you don't want friendship that's fine but you do need to treat the people you meet with respect"
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"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point "
You don't?
I suspect, like me most women don't know if they actually want to get naked with you until they've met. All sorts of things can be a turn off in person.
Social always here (couple too) unless meeting at a club.
And to the OP. Friendship and the social side of swinging is an important part of the scene fir many. There's lots of people I'm friendly with that I have no interest in having sex with. You can have conversations that you can't with vanilla friends  |
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I love making new friends in this lifestyle. It made the start of this experience so much better.
With regard to feelings. If I ever felt like things were changing I would be honest and tell them.
I have had a couple of one offs. The sex definitely wasn't as good.  seems much more about the guy getting his happy ending and not mine.
One offs at parties etc is fine.
As for meeting people for a social before meeting. I had a bad experience on fab a year ago. I am a lot more careful now and will only have a social beforehand now. If they don't want to, then that is fine, but it won't go any further with me.  |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
I enjoy making friendships on here, find the sex even better when more relaxed & comfortable round the people .
Wham bam thank you ma'am, is ok but not looking for a thousand 1 offs prefer quality regular meets. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For one thing I actually need to like the person I’m having sex with. I find it hard to switch myself off enough to not care.
Also, for me the build up to the meet is a big part of it. I like it so when we get to the actual meet we are at the point where we can’t wait to get our hands on each other. I want to feel like they want me and not just anyone.
Making friendships isn’t something we thought about when we joined here but actually we have and we like that we have like minded friends, even if they aren’t always the ones we end up having sex with.
Kx"
I agree the build up is Important for sure . Its all apart of the fun |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's becoming a dating site! I don't understand when women want a social aswell? I totally understand chatting for awhile in fact I actually like that side of it but going for a drink on the first meet! I don't really see the point
You don't?
I suspect, like me most women don't know if they actually want to get naked with you until they've met. All sorts of things can be a turn off in person.
Social always here (couple too) unless meeting at a club.
And to the OP. Friendship and the social side of swinging is an important part of the scene fir many. There's lots of people I'm friendly with that I have no interest in having sex with. You can have conversations that you can't with vanilla friends "
That's a good point actually |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love making new friends in this lifestyle. It made the start of this experience so much better.
With regard to feelings. If I ever felt like things were changing I would be honest and tell them.
I have had a couple of one offs. The sex definitely wasn't as good. seems much more about the guy getting his happy ending and not mine.
One offs at parties etc is fine.
As for meeting people for a social before meeting. I had a bad experience on fab a year ago. I am a lot more careful now and will only have a social beforehand now. If they don't want to, then that is fine, but it won't go any further with me. "
What happend . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a single woman I need to feel safe so friendship and getting to know the person is a must for me,also because I prefer regular playmates "
That's totally understandable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do like a social before anything happens ( ok lately that's gone out the window lol ) I like to be able to get along with someone.. just personal preference..
Mrs x |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Always nice to enjoy the social aspects knowing we have other things on our minds as well adds to the chemistry to be able to enjoy the company never knowing where it may lead without expectations
I can understand it to a certain point but can't things get to close for comfort?"
That would be down to each individual person not everyone would..... Example people go out clubbing to enjoy the atmosphere and company of others and others go on the pull. |
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