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How did you persuade your partner to play first time?
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We had discussed it at length but could not get over the first meet. It was not pre planned that we would stitch up my wife. We put ourselves in a position where it might happen and lowered each other inhibitions but the decision was always hers.
It had to be her decision. Seriously getting people either sex paralytic to enjoy your fantasy is a HUGE NO NO.
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"No persuasion necessary on either side. If it had been we wouldn't be swinging. "
Exactly,
If he or she isn’t into the idea you leave it and move on. You might find the idea grows in their head and it gets brought up again in the future but you shouldn’t bully someone into it |
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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago
Kingston upon Thames |
"No persuasion necessary on either side. If it had been we wouldn't be swinging.
Exactly,
If he or she isn’t into the idea you leave it and move on. You might find the idea grows in their head and it gets brought up again in the future but you shouldn’t bully someone into it"
Totally agree - each person in a couple needs to "buy in" to the idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m
Guessing that there either has to be the potential there in the first place with relaxed and high sex drives on all parts so that a situation can unfold naturally or you have to talk in advance. If neither is comfortable then it won’t happen and probably shouldn’t happen either |
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By *ooneyCouple
over a year ago
Chester |
A weekend away with another couple in a caravan, they had become and still are friends and invited us away for the weekend. In all fairness the husband Couple warned us about his wife that she was a predatory, we discussed what could happen prior to accepting the offer to go. The first night a few drinks and yes it happened, he was a cuck that was a surprise and she was into both of us, we did not have full on that occasion and we had set our limits prior, regardless of the other wife’s agenda. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had discussed it at length but could not get over the first meet. It was not pre planned that we would stitch up my wife. We put ourselves in a position where it might happen and lowered each other inhibitions but the decision was always hers.
It had to be her decision. Seriously getting people either sex paralytic to enjoy your fantasy is a HUGE NO NO.
"
Loads of pissed up women at clubs. The men don't care. |
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The men walk a tightrope then! Being pissed is not consent.
I added my second comment on the thread to make it clear we had discussed it and were both intrigued. We just found that first "action" difficult to start off. Perhaps how people get past their nerves on a first meet is a more pertinent phrasing of the question.
My wife had body issues when we met at 18, she was a size 8-10 and had a stunning body but no confidence in herself.
We have got past that now and have some really fun times but it came forward again as we tried to dip our toe in. |
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V had always wanted to watch me being fucked by other guys & i have always been flirty but i was still not into the whole idea of setting up meets with strangers.
We started with me just kissing other guys at nightclubs & messing around.
V then explained it as seeing as i cant get enough sex & he wants to watch me, if we used this site it would be like the nightclub scenario except i could chat to & arrange to meet guys i really liked.
Its worked out amazing for us so far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We just done alot of talking and role playing in the bedroom and watching porn together talking about the other guy taking control of her turns us both on alot . I'm ready to probably take the next step into reality but as we have youngish children we have to wait a bit unfortunately. She's anxious she said that's the only thing stopping her on her side but I guess overtime she will overcome that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first married, my then wife was a right horny bugger and it was her who introduced me the adult dating/swinging and through those early years, we both realised we where/are Bisexual (and kinky) so pretty well ended up only ever meeting either singles or couples who had to be Bi
The rest is history as they say lol
J xx  |
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We discussed it repeatedly whilst playing and somehow it led to reality. We were lucky as the first couple we played with were very patient and we started with a wonderful experience. We are very relaxed now and both of us are encouraged to have lovers or mmm/muffins fun.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Persuasion is not really conducive to a healthy start to swinging. It should be mutual desire. Of course there's probably a lot of people out there who were indeed persuaded and it turned out to be the best thing they ever did, but it doesn't make it right that they were goaded on board to start with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We discussed it repeatedly whilst playing and somehow it led to reality. We were lucky as the first couple we played with were very patient and we started with a wonderful experience. We are very relaxed now and both of us are encouraged to have lovers or mmm/muffins fun. "
That's kind of where we are at . Keep discussing whilst playing everytime we do it |
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"M or F partners that were reticent how did you get them to play.
Alcohol and a sexy body got my wife over the line. "
Lol I wouldn't say reluctant but Cherry dumped me a few months after meeting as she thought I was too 'proper' to be interested in the swinging lifestyle she was already a part of.... Boy was she wrong, I put her straight, we got back together immediately and dived straight in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Persuasion is not really conducive to a healthy start to swinging. It should be mutual desire. Of course there's probably a lot of people out there who were indeed persuaded and it turned out to be the best thing they ever did, but it doesn't make it right that they were goaded on board to start with."
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first wife it happened a bit accidentally. The internet was still in its infancy back in the bloatedgoat days. I signed up for an account on a swinging account not really knowing what it was about and naively put our actual email addresses in.
Not surprisingly she woke up the next day to a veritable litany of emails - instead of throwing her toys out the pram she informed me she was off to get shagged on Saturday night  She went - did as promised and so started over 2 years of not terrible experiences.
This time around when we first met there was a sense of a naughty side from both of us and it didn't take us long to start discussing deeper and deeper fantasies and previous experiences which line up startlingly well 
Now we just need to go through the list in a timely and organised fashion  |
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
It had nothing to do with persuasion, we just both enjoyed sex and would talk about things we would like to try, often I would whisper in her ear about things we could try while fingering her pussy,as we were snuggled up together at night, if my hand got a lot wetter I knew my little story interested her, we just took it from there, it's how I discovered just how much of an exhibitionist she really was.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I planted the seed in the wife's head years ago by telling her the thought of seeing her with another man would be a massive turn on, after the shock we had the conversation about was it so I could fuck other ladies, when she was assured it wasn't we slowly entered the swinging scene and we've had some amazing times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Recieved a text message saying being pregnant has got her so horny and last few nights she had dirty dreams, which was her with other men.
Quick Google and replied with a answer of swingers club night. 3 days later we went to club and fulfilled both our fantasies x |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"I planted the seed in the wife's head years ago by telling her the thought of seeing her with another man would be a massive turn on, after the shock we had the conversation about was it so I could fuck other ladies, when she was assured it wasn't we slowly entered the swinging scene and we've had some amazing times."
We were in a similar predicament, once I explained about what I wanted and answered all the questions surrounding it she understood a bit more and we made some progress by coming on here and having a social. Unfortunately it just died off in the end, if one person isn't 100% in to it then its likely going to happen. I keep the profile active just to browse and hopefully we progress in the future but I will have to see what happens..  |
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I always say that I am a woman of my word and swinging is no different apparently. We have been married over 10 years and I had never considered it until i spontaneously brought up the idea of going to a club and having sex in front of other people. Husband was nicely surprised and the conversations quickly turned into ‘well…. If we are there, would you like to play with other people’, which got us both horny. Due to various life commitments it then took us s few months to get to a club but on our first visit we did a soft swap and second visit a few weeks later a full swap. Now we are planning all sorts of meets and events! |
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"M or F partners that were reticent how did you get them to play.
Alcohol and a sexy body got my wife over the line. "
Interesting profile issue is there's no set format for which is M and which is f. Often it's a guess by height, build.
there's an example in this thread of "c" |
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We started out on our journey after doing the infamous online BDSM quiz then discussing our results.
We don't feel that persuasion should really be involved. That feels way too much like pressuring someone into something they're notn comfortable with for our liking...
C x |
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"If I had to persuade them then they wouldn't be my person.
If it's not a fuck yes, it's a fuck no  "
This. It has to be enthusiastic consent and interest by all people involved or it isn't any good for anyone.
MrsAbz |
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"There was no persuading, I told her I used to swing and was into bdsm and she jumped at the chance to explore both lifestyles "
That’s pretty much the same with us.
Whilst she knew about my past swinging experiences with I was totally fooled by her good girl conservative image. It was a total shock when she started talking about her fantasies and literally begged me to (for lack of a more polite description) slut her out. |
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We where chatting about our pasts and after she told me about her boyfriend trying to take her virginity but she stopped him because he didn’t have any condoms but rubbed his cock over her pussy. I said to her I would have loved to have watched her get fucked. A few months later having chatted about it we started going to clubs. Took a few visits and some soft play with couples before I finally watched her fuck a guy. All her choices no pushing by me. She became a real hot wife. |
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With long since ex wife. Mid 90s so before Internet swinging adds
She aways enjoyed top shelf mags readers wives. adds for swinging.
Reading stories in mags.
We talked about fantasies etc joked about swapping partners
We put add in mag replies to box number. We swapped message pics with a couple a good hours drive away arranged to meet Forton service they did not turn up!! Later phone call say had puncture
Arranged second meet but said at pub near us met them came back out house still not sure if we would swap. Plenty wine and porn
Video rest is history |
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Years ago I found a swinging site and got curious, but I had to create a profile to see the pictures. So created a couples profile without thinking it through. Then when a couple wanted to meet us, my bluff was called, as I had not said anything about this to the wife.
I owned up to the wife that a I had created a profile on a swingers site without her knowing and a couple wanted to meet us. The reply, "we had better go and meet them, then", still happily married and still here. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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I told her my fantasy about watching her with another man and told her the next step was up to her, I didn't mention it again until she started to ask me questions.. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"Persuasion is not really conducive to a healthy start to swinging. It should be mutual desire. Of course there's probably a lot of people out there who were indeed persuaded and it turned out to be the best thing they ever did, but it doesn't make it right that they were goaded on board to start with."
Thats true, we both were divided on this, I was wanting to do it to explore some of my fantasies and do things I know I like and 'A' wasn't sure about it all, we talked about it and joined here to try and progress things but it didn't really happen. I wouldn't push/persuade her in anyway to do something she wasn't comfortable with but on the flip side of that there is always going to be one of us who isn't 100% happy as we have a different interest when it comes to this type thing. Surprising seeing how many couples on here have agreed to it from an early stage and been on the same page as it is quite a 'niche' thing to do.. |
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"There was no persuading, I told her I used to swing and was into bdsm and she jumped at the chance to explore both lifestyles
That’s pretty much the same with us.
Whilst she knew about my past swinging experiences with I was totally fooled by her good girl conservative image. It was a total shock when she started talking about her fantasies and literally begged me to (for lack of a more polite description) slut her out. "
Sounds very similar to what happened with us, Taz started talking about all the things she wanted to try and I just smiled and nodded alot |
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I was seeing an 18 year old when I was 38, she had a digital camera and we found that her parents had been using it and were swingers some interesting pics indeed. I suggested we should try swinging and loved it we were on here together for about 5byears had many good meets and a few trips to clubs |
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Its been my long term fantasy to watch my wife getting fucked by another man, but I have got to accept thats its is unlikely to happen, even though we do roleplay about certain scenarios about other men fucking her sometimes its a stranger sometimes its about one of her exs fucking her. Having said my wife did say once if its going to happen their would have to be some attraction for her which I fully understand (but she is a fussy bitch lol) so it roleplay only I guess. |
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