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People pleasers
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Short answer is no.
I've always gone with be more wolf than sheep.
Be kind but don't suffer fools gladly. "
That was short and straight to the point, I have to agree I'm the same but I can't help feel as a nation we are people pleasers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have we turned into a nation of people pleasers? It appears there are alot that will do/say anything to keep the peace. Are you a people pleaser? "
No, whilst I will do all I can to keep things cool, if there's something that needs said it gets said. Bottling up your feelings on an issue can end up worse as it festers and causes more problems in the end. Queuing in the supermarket still gets my blood up as the space invaders stand way too close - they get a big stare followed by a stern talking to quite quickly if they don't move sharpish! I tend to play it cool in a restaurant though - never upset the people who are serving your food  |
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Nothing wrong with diplomacy a time and place to air one’s views. It’s not people pleasing it’s about finding the right time and solution to whatever the problem is or was.
I always play the long game I know what I believe and will express those beliefs at the right time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like a peaceful life so it depends on whats required to settle the situation. If i can sort it tactfully and amicably, i will. If not…mayhem reigns  "
Haha love this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if it's regarding disrespect of any sort. You have to look out for yourself. They will only become confrontational as they know deep down you're right/ they were wrong. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I have always been a people pleaser. It stems from my childhood where I grew up in an argumentative and sometimes violent household. I therefore hated arguments in relationships and saw them only as negative. I went into nursing and worked always aiming for unachievable high standards, until my health suffered.
Only in my 50s am I learning to become more assertive, say what I really think and consider my own needs. I am no longer a doormat that never says no, but it's a hard habit to break.
Sorry if that's all a bit personal, but I'm happy to share my background, if it helps others realise what harm people pleasing can do.
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I do tend to be a people pleaser as I just like to be surrounded by happy people
However and a number of friends have told me this that I quite often over look my own happiness in pursuit of everyone else's  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have always been a people pleaser. It stems from my childhood where I grew up in an argumentative and sometimes violent household. I therefore hated arguments in relationships and saw them only as negative. I went into nursing and worked always aiming for unachievable high standards, until my health suffered.
Only in my 50s am I learning to become more assertive, say what I really think and consider my own needs. I am no longer a doormat that never says no, but it's a hard habit to break.
Sorry if that's all a bit personal, but I'm happy to share my background, if it helps others realise what harm people pleasing can do.
"
Do you feel better for it Lizzy? |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"I have always been a people pleaser. It stems from my childhood where I grew up in an argumentative and sometimes violent household. I therefore hated arguments in relationships and saw them only as negative. I went into nursing and worked always aiming for unachievable high standards, until my health suffered.
Only in my 50s am I learning to become more assertive, say what I really think and consider my own needs. I am no longer a doormat that never says no, but it's a hard habit to break.
Sorry if that's all a bit personal, but I'm happy to share my background, if it helps others realise what harm people pleasing can do.
Do you feel better for it Lizzy?"
No I deliberately don’t put on safe sex as it’s negotiable plus I’m a wolf I lead the pack |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Where i dont go out my way to please someone just because they may get the hump, i now lack the patience to want to be in the company with someone that is easily offended |
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In fab terms alone I used to refer to goldfishing. This is when someone agrees on a thread with someone they wish to be associated with but after circumnavigating the bowl a couple of times they pop back in to agree with someone else who offers the completely opposite opinion of the first.
Another way of viewing it is that just like we often set our browser to delete cookies when we close it, some fabbers log out and lose all track of opinions they've expressed before and log back in with a clean slate and a conflicting view to the last one if it suits a particular agenda.
People pleasing may well be a sign that we aren't assertive enough but often it is more about a conscious decision to ingratiate ourselves with others.
Being all things to all men. |
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No, certain idiot in forums lately has been making too big a deal of being blocked. Not my type. Full stop. My choice. So certainly not a people pleaser. Cock is another subject as I like to please that  |
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Nope not a ppl pleaser anymore in some respect since joining fab I don't go outta my way to please ppl as in small chat if am not interested to meet them! I don't know how to flirt either so yeh can be a bit of a hindrance when chatting even if I do like them!  |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"Nope not a ppl pleaser anymore in some respect since joining fab I don't go outta my way to please ppl as in small chat if am not interested to meet them! I don't know how to flirt either so yeh can be a bit of a hindrance when chatting even if I do like them! "
I enjoy pleasure pleasing a lady of course but I want them to Investigate my profile and ask Questions and chat banter after all it’s equal rights plus they have so many messages they are never going to get to mine anyway so if I’m hard to get its still enjoyable life |
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Yes and no.
I love to please, I'm totally unselfish. I'll do anything to make my partner happy/satisfied.
In the rest of my life less so. I don't like to argue but I will fight my corner and won't accept shite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a people pleaser much to my detriment but slowly I am starting to build up a hard exterior, due to my recent circumstances And from now on will I only let people I consider close friends see the big softie side of me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Brits queue. Silent death stares to anyone who cuts in front.
 or very loud comments to anyone but the person doing the cutting in
Oops, that's me, although I normally get vocal "
I'm the death stare.  |
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"Brits queue. Silent death stares to anyone who cuts in front.
or very loud comments to anyone but the person doing the cutting in
Oops, that's me, although I normally get vocal
I'm the death stare. "
Secretly murdering them in your mind? Got ya! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab seems to be full of people pleasers. However I've broken this down to the fact men will do absolutely anything for even a whiff of an axe wound. Even if it means agreeing with absolutely anything a woman says.
If your a woman reading this and you disagree.. I fully agree with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A ‘ people pleaser’ in the way you’re explaining it sounds like someone with no backbone who just agrees. It can also be someone who tries to compromise because they have the strength of character to realise not everyone can communicate as well as others |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"I have always been a people pleaser. It stems from my childhood where I grew up in an argumentative and sometimes violent household. I therefore hated arguments in relationships and saw them only as negative. I went into nursing and worked always aiming for unachievable high standards, until my health suffered.
Only in my 50s am I learning to become more assertive, say what I really think and consider my own needs. I am no longer a doormat that never says no, but it's a hard habit to break.
Sorry if that's all a bit personal, but I'm happy to share my background, if it helps others realise what harm people pleasing can do.
Do you feel better for it Lizzy?"
Yes I do feel better now I've started to acknowledge my own worth. I sometimes find myself feeling guilty when I say no, but it has definitely helped my mental health putting my needs more important than I did previously |
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