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going bare with other couples?

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By *rtist with muse OP   Couple  over a year ago

Eastbourne

Hiya Guys,

Since we started swinging back in 2014 we have always had a rule that it is condoms on for all with strangers at clubs etc...

However we are now very interested in going bare with other couples - we find the condoms are getting in the way of the fun all too often - any other couples "converted" from safe to bare with selected friends?

What's your experience?

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By *isstinseltoesWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Not something I'd do when meeting with my partner, but you know the risks and if you're upfront with others they can decide too.

We chatted a couple on here, met at a club and they they wanted to go bareback, it had never been discussed and we said no.

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By *istressdandsubtCouple  over a year ago

caterham

In our experience there seems to be about 30% where people in private play look for bare back . Lots of single guys think its game on which spoils it for the good guys

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By *elboy64Man  over a year ago

weston

If everyone agrees then it's their choice, a lot will condem you but that's their choice. Always do what you're happy with, there's plenty who will still meet you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s bareback with people we trust only.

Condoms at clubs always.

X

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By *ecky and justCouple  over a year ago

Godalming

There a very select few that we would consider it with, after testing and with exclusivity but that is after years of being friends.

But, it hasn’t happened yet..

With anyone else it’s condoms only.

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By *xfordjohnMan  over a year ago

Oxford

It's not straight forward, is it? If your activities are based on threesomes, then wearing a condom for penetration does get in the way of ringing the changes that make 3somes so great, but if, like me, you are meeting new people whilst playing bareback with your regular, longstanding friends, I've come to the conclusion that I just can't expose them to the risk, so it's condoms and accept the consequences.

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By *istressdandsubtCouple  over a year ago

caterham

We agree its everyone choice but it shouldn't be expected. If you say you are into safe sex then safe sex it is not turn up and say ohh thought you ment bare back .

Also if you do go bare then every one has to agree and not to feel pressured to do it

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By *istressdandsubtCouple  over a year ago

caterham

its everyone choice but it shouldn't be expected. If you say you are into safe sex then safe sex it is not turn up and say ohh thought you ment bare back .

Also if you do go bare then every one has to agree and not to feel pressured to do it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not something I'd do when meeting with my partner, but you know the risks and if you're upfront with others they can decide too.

We chatted a couple on here, met at a club and they they wanted to go bareback, it had never been discussed and we said no. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" its everyone choice but it shouldn't be expected. If you say you are into safe sex then safe sex it is not turn up and say ohh thought you ment bare back .

Also if you do go bare then every one has to agree and not to feel pressured to do it "

Totally agree. You have to be upfront about what you expect and what you are happy with.

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By *inTonic2018Couple  over a year ago

Cardiff

We are going through similar conversations. Think your point about 'select couples' is important and can apply to select males tòo, as far as we are concerned. We think we'll start safe and when we start building friendships that we can trust, we may go the bareback route.

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By *alentTeaseMan  over a year ago

Birmingham

Babies are free. STDs are costly

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By *heeseandWineCouple  over a year ago

Reading and Southampton


"We are going through similar conversations. Think your point about 'select couples' is important and can apply to select males tòo, as far as we are concerned. We think we'll start safe and when we start building friendships that we can trust, we may go the bareback route."
Very much our thoughts too

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By *inna and SaintCouple  over a year ago

Sherbourne


"If everyone agrees then it's their choice, a lot will condem you but that's their choice. Always do what you're happy with, there's plenty who will still meet you. "

Condem or condom ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/02/22 20:03:04]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

STI's HIV, cervical ca from the hpv virus Need I go on!

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By *eardsandboobsCouple  over a year ago

north of lincoln


"STI's HIV, cervical ca from the hpv virus Need I go on! "

All of which can be caught from unprotected oral sex as well. Yet there’s no stigma attached to it .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So long as you know STI risk and have discussions with play partners, then I'd say you're good.

Do the research though and choose your partners carefully. If I were to have unprotected sex (hypothetically... right now thats too risky for me!), I would seek out people who are mostly monogamous, have regular sti tests and have protected sex with others. I would also only suggest this if I was limiting my sexual partners. And learn all about STIs... There is so much that a lot of people dont realise!

Like, did you know it can take a couple of weeks for gonnorhea or chlamydia to show up on a test? And up to 3 months for HIV or syphilis? So, its all well and good that they have and STI test from last month and havent had any partners since then, but if they have had unprotexted sex with someone up to 3 months before their last test, they could still be infected!

People go on about HPV, but that is a very common infection that you dont need to worry about (and wont even know about in the vast majority of cases). Chances are, youve had a HPV infection several times in your life and your body just dealt with it.

Herpes is another one that loads of people carry without knowing but carries a lot of shame and fear. People who know they have it can take meds to reduce their chance of spreading it, but there are loads of people who have it but dont know! And it gets passes on by skin to skin contact so its not one you can protect against with a condom. Its mostly passed on when people have an outbreak though, so if they dont have blisters, youre probably ok!

Syphilis doesnt care about condoms either and thats a big one, so even if sex is protected, you still wanna check when their last test was, and dont play with them if the have any sores!

Also, not all sex carries the same risk. You can pass on a chlamydia and gonorrhoea infection of the throat/genitals through oral sex, but HIV is rarely passed on this way.

OK, Ive gone on and on. My point is that we shouldnt lose our head over STIs. If we did,we wouldnt ever have sex with anyone (including with condoms)!

The best approach is to be educated about what the risk of different activities are, and then have in depth discussions with potential partners about risk so that you can all make informed decisions.

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By *aughtyloversCouple  over a year ago

Hull


"STI's HIV, cervical ca from the hpv virus Need I go on!

All of which can be caught from unprotected oral sex as well. Yet there’s no stigma attached to it . "

This

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By *rtist with muse OP   Couple  over a year ago

Eastbourne

we are all grown ups, sex is about consensual choices xx

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By *istressdandsubtCouple  over a year ago

caterham


"we are all grown ups, sex is about consensual choices xx"

This for us

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By *rsmith21zMan  over a year ago

Peterborough


"we are all grown ups, sex is about consensual choices xx

This for us "

;) agree

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By *ollyRoxxxWoman  over a year ago

Wishaw


"So long as you know STI risk and have discussions with play partners, then I'd say you're good.

Do the research though and choose your partners carefully. If I were to have unprotected sex (hypothetically... right now thats too risky for me!), I would seek out people who are mostly monogamous, have regular sti tests and have protected sex with others. I would also only suggest this if I was limiting my sexual partners. And learn all about STIs... There is so much that a lot of people dont realise!

Like, did you know it can take a couple of weeks for gonnorhea or chlamydia to show up on a test? And up to 3 months for HIV or syphilis? So, its all well and good that they have and STI test from last month and havent had any partners since then, but if they have had unprotexted sex with someone up to 3 months before their last test, they could still be infected!

People go on about HPV, but that is a very common infection that you dont need to worry about (and wont even know about in the vast majority of cases). Chances are, youve had a HPV infection several times in your life and your body just dealt with it.

Herpes is another one that loads of people carry without knowing but carries a lot of shame and fear. People who know they have it can take meds to reduce their chance of spreading it, but there are loads of people who have it but dont know! And it gets passes on by skin to skin contact so its not one you can protect against with a condom. Its mostly passed on when people have an outbreak though, so if they dont have blisters, youre probably ok!

Syphilis doesnt care about condoms either and thats a big one, so even if sex is protected, you still wanna check when their last test was, and dont play with them if the have any sores!

Also, not all sex carries the same risk. You can pass on a chlamydia and gonorrhoea infection of the throat/genitals through oral sex, but HIV is rarely passed on this way.

OK, Ive gone on and on. My point is that we shouldnt lose our head over STIs. If we did,we wouldnt ever have sex with anyone (including with condoms)!

The best approach is to be educated about what the risk of different activities are, and then have in depth discussions with potential partners about risk so that you can all make informed decisions. "

All of this!!

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By *orkcoastguyMan  over a year ago

Bridlington.

Like any boundaries and expectations it is important to be very clear prior to a meet for this to be made clear and adhered to.

If I am unhappy with any such pre set rules then I politely decline the meet.

As it happens I have noticed that in the last few years it has become more usual to go bare when meeting, the explanation being that the couples that I meet want the full experience.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"STI's HIV, cervical ca from the hpv virus Need I go on! "

No you needn't but I somehow think you might

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By *lirty_dirtyCouple  over a year ago

Lingfield

We have chosen to play bareback with both couples and singles. We don't meet often, preferring quality to quantity. There's really no way to know people's sexual history, it's a calculated risk. I've lived by the expression that I'm here for a good time not a long time. Hopefully my willy won't go green and fall off

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By *exylovingcoupleCouple  over a year ago

Uxbridge

My wife has a regular F/B and they both wanted to play bare after a while. He got tested and it has worked out well. He doesn’t indulge elsewhere and if my wife does (which is rare as he always gives her a good seeing to) she will practice safe sex. There are no right or wrong answers to this, it is just what suits you.

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By *estMidsHotwifeCouple  over a year ago

Near Malvern

Exactly this for us, also we fully understand the migration from safe to bare, that's was our journey x

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By *amish SMan  over a year ago

Eastleigh

HPV nothing to worry about, think again, it is becoming more common in men as throat and mouth cancer. Ohh, and it can result from HPV infection decade's in the past.

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By *lwaysup4it69Couple  over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield

We have always played bare, we do not meet often and get to know people before we meet. We would never just have a quick chat then meet. We know the risks

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By *eanieggMan  over a year ago

UXBRIDGE

ive met couples who stated they wanted to use condoms.. and then never ended up using them .. ive had this a couple of times.. personally i hate condoms but each to their own

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By *rtist with muse OP   Couple  over a year ago

Eastbourne


"We have chosen to play bareback with both couples and singles. We don't meet often, preferring quality to quantity. There's really no way to know people's sexual history, it's a calculated risk. I've lived by the expression that I'm here for a good time not a long time. Hopefully my willy won't go green and fall off "

Thanks for your support - you look like the sort of guys we would love to go there with xx

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