FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > going bare with other couples?
going bare with other couples?
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hiya Guys,
Since we started swinging back in 2014 we have always had a rule that it is condoms on for all with strangers at clubs etc...
However we are now very interested in going bare with other couples - we find the condoms are getting in the way of the fun all too often - any other couples "converted" from safe to bare with selected friends?
What's your experience? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Not something I'd do when meeting with my partner, but you know the risks and if you're upfront with others they can decide too.
We chatted a couple on here, met at a club and they they wanted to go bareback, it had never been discussed and we said no. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There a very select few that we would consider it with, after testing and with exclusivity but that is after years of being friends.
But, it hasn’t happened yet..
With anyone else it’s condoms only. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's not straight forward, is it? If your activities are based on threesomes, then wearing a condom for penetration does get in the way of ringing the changes that make 3somes so great, but if, like me, you are meeting new people whilst playing bareback with your regular, longstanding friends, I've come to the conclusion that I just can't expose them to the risk, so it's condoms and accept the consequences. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We agree its everyone choice but it shouldn't be expected. If you say you are into safe sex then safe sex it is not turn up and say ohh thought you ment bare back .
Also if you do go bare then every one has to agree and not to feel pressured to do it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
its everyone choice but it shouldn't be expected. If you say you are into safe sex then safe sex it is not turn up and say ohh thought you ment bare back .
Also if you do go bare then every one has to agree and not to feel pressured to do it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" its everyone choice but it shouldn't be expected. If you say you are into safe sex then safe sex it is not turn up and say ohh thought you ment bare back .
Also if you do go bare then every one has to agree and not to feel pressured to do it "
Totally agree. You have to be upfront about what you expect and what you are happy with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We are going through similar conversations. Think your point about 'select couples' is important and can apply to select males tòo, as far as we are concerned. We think we'll start safe and when we start building friendships that we can trust, we may go the bareback route. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We are going through similar conversations. Think your point about 'select couples' is important and can apply to select males tòo, as far as we are concerned. We think we'll start safe and when we start building friendships that we can trust, we may go the bareback route."
Very much our thoughts too   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So long as you know STI risk and have discussions with play partners, then I'd say you're good.
Do the research though and choose your partners carefully. If I were to have unprotected sex (hypothetically... right now thats too risky for me!), I would seek out people who are mostly monogamous, have regular sti tests and have protected sex with others. I would also only suggest this if I was limiting my sexual partners. And learn all about STIs... There is so much that a lot of people dont realise!
Like, did you know it can take a couple of weeks for gonnorhea or chlamydia to show up on a test? And up to 3 months for HIV or syphilis? So, its all well and good that they have and STI test from last month and havent had any partners since then, but if they have had unprotexted sex with someone up to 3 months before their last test, they could still be infected!
People go on about HPV, but that is a very common infection that you dont need to worry about (and wont even know about in the vast majority of cases). Chances are, youve had a HPV infection several times in your life and your body just dealt with it.
Herpes is another one that loads of people carry without knowing but carries a lot of shame and fear. People who know they have it can take meds to reduce their chance of spreading it, but there are loads of people who have it but dont know! And it gets passes on by skin to skin contact so its not one you can protect against with a condom. Its mostly passed on when people have an outbreak though, so if they dont have blisters, youre probably ok!
Syphilis doesnt care about condoms either and thats a big one, so even if sex is protected, you still wanna check when their last test was, and dont play with them if the have any sores!
Also, not all sex carries the same risk. You can pass on a chlamydia and gonorrhoea infection of the throat/genitals through oral sex, but HIV is rarely passed on this way.
OK, Ive gone on and on. My point is that we shouldnt lose our head over STIs. If we did,we wouldnt ever have sex with anyone (including with condoms)!
The best approach is to be educated about what the risk of different activities are, and then have in depth discussions with potential partners about risk so that you can all make informed decisions. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So long as you know STI risk and have discussions with play partners, then I'd say you're good.
Do the research though and choose your partners carefully. If I were to have unprotected sex (hypothetically... right now thats too risky for me!), I would seek out people who are mostly monogamous, have regular sti tests and have protected sex with others. I would also only suggest this if I was limiting my sexual partners. And learn all about STIs... There is so much that a lot of people dont realise!
Like, did you know it can take a couple of weeks for gonnorhea or chlamydia to show up on a test? And up to 3 months for HIV or syphilis? So, its all well and good that they have and STI test from last month and havent had any partners since then, but if they have had unprotexted sex with someone up to 3 months before their last test, they could still be infected!
People go on about HPV, but that is a very common infection that you dont need to worry about (and wont even know about in the vast majority of cases). Chances are, youve had a HPV infection several times in your life and your body just dealt with it.
Herpes is another one that loads of people carry without knowing but carries a lot of shame and fear. People who know they have it can take meds to reduce their chance of spreading it, but there are loads of people who have it but dont know! And it gets passes on by skin to skin contact so its not one you can protect against with a condom. Its mostly passed on when people have an outbreak though, so if they dont have blisters, youre probably ok!
Syphilis doesnt care about condoms either and thats a big one, so even if sex is protected, you still wanna check when their last test was, and dont play with them if the have any sores!
Also, not all sex carries the same risk. You can pass on a chlamydia and gonorrhoea infection of the throat/genitals through oral sex, but HIV is rarely passed on this way.
OK, Ive gone on and on. My point is that we shouldnt lose our head over STIs. If we did,we wouldnt ever have sex with anyone (including with condoms)!
The best approach is to be educated about what the risk of different activities are, and then have in depth discussions with potential partners about risk so that you can all make informed decisions. "
All of this!!
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Like any boundaries and expectations it is important to be very clear prior to a meet for this to be made clear and adhered to.
If I am unhappy with any such pre set rules then I politely decline the meet.
As it happens I have noticed that in the last few years it has become more usual to go bare when meeting, the explanation being that the couples that I meet want the full experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We have chosen to play bareback with both couples and singles. We don't meet often, preferring quality to quantity. There's really no way to know people's sexual history, it's a calculated risk. I've lived by the expression that I'm here for a good time not a long time. Hopefully my willy won't go green and fall off  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My wife has a regular F/B and they both wanted to play bare after a while. He got tested and it has worked out well. He doesn’t indulge elsewhere and if my wife does (which is rare as he always gives her a good seeing to) she will practice safe sex. There are no right or wrong answers to this, it is just what suits you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We have chosen to play bareback with both couples and singles. We don't meet often, preferring quality to quantity. There's really no way to know people's sexual history, it's a calculated risk. I've lived by the expression that I'm here for a good time not a long time. Hopefully my willy won't go green and fall off "
Thanks for your support - you look like the sort of guys we would love to go there with xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
