We have read recently a few posts about couples and singles that enjoy bareback sex with strangers or new partners.
We don't have an issue with that, each to their one. What we have a problem with is that some of those profiles don't state on their bio that they practice bareback sex and some have on it that they only do safe sex.
That really got us worried that they are putting other people in a bigger risk without their consent. So we would like to know if thats common or most people are honest about it?
By the way this is no way a judgement on people that play bareback, but to the ones that lie about doing it. |
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At some point during the meet I guess the point of penetrative will happen, if said person wishes to lie and say "oh we don't normally do this but go ahead anyway......" without a lie detector test, what you supposed to do? There is the other side of things where they might ask "are you into breeding?" To which a horrified reply will happen or consent will happen, if you don't wish to risk your sexual health simply state Safe Sex Only.
I've not been in many situations where a guy will insist on going bareback, in the moment, against my wishes. |
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"At some point during the meet I guess the point of penetrative will happen, if said person wishes to lie and say "oh we don't normally do this but go ahead anyway......" without a lie detector test, what you supposed to do? There is the other side of things where they might ask "are you into breeding?" To which a horrified reply will happen or consent will happen, if you don't wish to risk your sexual health simply state Safe Sex Only.
I've not been in many situations where a guy will insist on going bareback, in the moment, against my wishes. "
You took our post the wrong way. We meant before the meet. We state on our profile that we only do safe sex and we don't meet couples/singles that play bareback even if they are OK to use condom with us. We just know the risk is bigger so we avoid that.
But what about if they lie and say that they always play safe but they don't. We would like to know if that's really common or not...
Sorry we replied in private by mistake. |
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"Can be classed as sexual assault if don't without consent I only play bareback when we are all in agreement "
Yeah, we know that. But our English wasn't the best to explain what we meant.
We mean before a meeting. When you ask the usual questions "Do you get tested?" "Do you play bareback?" so you can know the risks that the other person takes and you take you decision based on that. But if they lie to you, that mean you may be taking a risk that you don't feel comfortable with. |
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Swinging is about having sex and if you meet people you are at an elevated risk. Bareback or not.
I always have safe sex for that reason. I have to do what I think is right for me and I will always assume the other person _might_ have had bareback with others. That’s not a judgement on them - just a risk thing.
I don’t think consent is the right way at looking at the problem. |
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"Swinging is about having sex and if you meet people you are at an elevated risk. Bareback or not.
I always have safe sex for that reason. I have to do what I think is right for me and I will always assume the other person _might_ have had bareback with others. That’s not a judgement on them - just a risk thing.
I don’t think consent is the right way at looking at the problem."
Obviously we know that this life style is risky when it comes to stds. We also know that some people will lie about their sexual health. But we thought that was a minority and most people take in consideration other people boundaries and health. But maybe we were naive... |
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"Swinging is about having sex and if you meet people you are at an elevated risk. Bareback or not.
I always have safe sex for that reason. I have to do what I think is right for me and I will always assume the other person _might_ have had bareback with others. That’s not a judgement on them - just a risk thing.
I don’t think consent is the right way at looking at the problem.
Obviously we know that this life style is risky when it comes to stds. We also know that some people will lie about their sexual health. But we thought that was a minority and most people take in consideration other people boundaries and health. But maybe we were naive..."
I don’t think you are naive but I think it is more common than people want to let on. I think it has definitely become more “acceptable” over the years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is about having sex and if you meet people you are at an elevated risk. Bareback or not.
I always have safe sex for that reason. I have to do what I think is right for me and I will always assume the other person _might_ have had bareback with others. That’s not a judgement on them - just a risk thing.
I don’t think consent is the right way at looking at the problem.
Obviously we know that this life style is risky when it comes to stds. We also know that some people will lie about their sexual health. But we thought that was a minority and most people take in consideration other people boundaries and health. But maybe we were naive..."
Sorry but yes you are. People lie to get a shag. Always have and always will.
Assume everyone does bareback and then decide what to do from there. |
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I'm bareback only and 90% of the guys that approach me have profiles that say safe only infact some have it written in their bio 3/4 times and when I remind them they say it's because it's what most want to hear - obviously I turn them down
I'm my 5+ years here only one guy has said oh I didn't realised you were bare only when I reminded him what his profile said & we didn't meet
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People will lie to get sex, they will tell you they always use condoms even if they don't. I don't know the percentage of people who do this or any way of finding out who they are. All you can do is decide if the risk is worth it to you, continue to practice safer sex yourselves and get regular testing  |
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You will always get people who will kue in some way or another gay or straight to get a fuck. And this will never ever change. Accept everyone lies and make your own judgement to meet them or not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to be clear from the start. My name says exactly the kind of sex I am looking for.
Likewise, not here to mislead or deceive "
It’s pointless and can spoil the fun. Need to be always clear, then everyone knows where they stand. |
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I wish everyone was upfront either way.
It’s a frustrating waste of time to chat to someone for ages, including mentioning only playing safe with anyone other than my other half, and then they randomly drop in that they only play bare. Especially if, as it has been a few times, it’s shrugged away as not being time wasting as they can usually talk people round on the day. |
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