FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Out of my league
Out of my league
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
Yes I have.
There are loads of hot people on here, men and women.
Even in the virtual world it is still difficult to approach someone you thing is out of your league. But when a hottie messages you the boost you get is amazing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes.. so just perved and moved on lol
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes I have.
There are loads of hot people on here, men and women.
Even in the virtual world it is still difficult to approach someone you thing is out of your league. But when a hottie messages you the boost you get is amazing. "
I've had a few message me but backed away thinking I'm not in their league |
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That’s been a problem I’ve had for a long time on here, I know I don’t stand a ghost of a chance so just didn’t try. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. All the time. Like somebody else said it often as hard online as in real life |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes.. so just perved and moved on lol
Mrs x"
Glad it's not just me |
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As an adult I’ve always had low self esteem and this whole thing is definitely a test of that. On the one hand you want to meet people you think are attractive but on the other you can be too scared to approach anyone you feel is beyond you because they’ll be looking for someone they find attractive and how could that possibly be me?! Quite mad isn’t it!
C x (wife) |
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By *akbearMan
over a year ago
Newbury |
I don't have leagues, if not be in any of them, but having confidence helps. And that can come across in messages. |
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By *b32Man
over a year ago
yorkshire |
Always shoot for the moon and always miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP your profile is beautiful
You may be surprised, I've been surprised by a guy I thought was out of our league but he's actually just a really good guy into older women. You never know, you may just find your diamond xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As an adult I’ve always had low self esteem and this whole thing is definitely a test of that. On the one hand you want to meet people you think are attractive but on the other you can be too scared to approach anyone you feel is beyond you because they’ll be looking for someone they find attractive and how could that possibly be me?! Quite mad isn’t it!
C x (wife)"
Really cookie? But, I mean, you are absolutely stunning. Like top class. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have leagues, if not be in any of them, but having confidence helps. And that can come across in messages. "
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Ive found this over the years, luckily as you get older you start to gain confidence in yourself, it's also about having a good personality as well as an attraction or connection x always worth saying hello to someone as you never know x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As an adult I’ve always had low self esteem and this whole thing is definitely a test of that. On the one hand you want to meet people you think are attractive but on the other you can be too scared to approach anyone you feel is beyond you because they’ll be looking for someone they find attractive and how could that possibly be me?! Quite mad isn’t it!
C x (wife)"
You look fantastic, but I totally get the self esteem and confidence is a massive thing
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes but I've sent them a message anyway and on occasion it's worked out great ....you will be surprised even the beautiful people aren't as shallow as you think ..they are just people after all |
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I've had people block me for just sending a message, i take that as OK im not for them, often met at a party or club and we have hit it off, sometimes it's all about the moment |
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Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x |
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I read the bio and age criteria if i feel i am a good fit I message regardless of how hot she is |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Its funny isn't it how we see ourselves compared to what others see. All you ladies are beautiful. I look at what I see as body beautiful people and think I have no chance haha and yes I've messaged them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just send the message. It's not half as scary as approaching someone in real life. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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No, I don't believe in leagues. Different people find different things attractive. Of course there are people who are more conventionally (societally) attractive but that doesn't make them better or others lesser.
Are you saying that those you've met are less attractive than those you lust after from afar?
It does a disservice to yourself, to those you've met and put those who are out of your league on a pedestal. Pointless exercise.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I read the bio and age criteria if i feel i am a good fit I message regardless of how hot she is "
Well your thighs are hot straight away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope. I message those I'm attracted to only. That's the reason fab works so well for me. I don't understand any other approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? "
Yes I have seen loads but I don’t send a message. I usually hot list them for a perv from a distance instead |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x"
Yes I've noticed this for you on the games on the forums it's a great confidence boost for you both |
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I've suffered from self esteem issues most of my life but in regards to leagues and whether or not someone is in a different one the answer is no.
I've seen plenty of amazing profiles that I wouldn't contact because of location or what they were looking for or because their forum interaction makes them immediately ugly but leagues don't come into the equation.
In saying all that, I don't send messages but that has nothing to do with confidence and much more to do with available time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, I don't believe in leagues. Different people find different things attractive. Of course there are people who are more conventionally (societally) attractive but that doesn't make them better or others lesser.
Are you saying that those you've met are less attractive than those you lust after from afar?
It does a disservice to yourself, to those you've met and put those who are out of your league on a pedestal. Pointless exercise.
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I'm not saying that at all, it's more about me than anyone else. It's a confidence thing nothing more, I've met some amazing people I wouldn't discount them. |
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"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? "
Like lots of things in life.
If you don't ask...you don't get.
Send them a message and try not to overthink things.
No reply or a negative reply, move on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? "
Leagues should never come into the equation but I do get the thinking behind apprehensiveness and self-doubt, but I think reading a profile, checking age and interests will always go to getting rid of the doubt!!
I’ll send a wink and a message if I feel I am a fit as to what they’re looking for….what do you have to lose….I understand being ignored, deleted or not responded to can knock the ego but there’s plenty more lovely and wonderful people to message!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm always seeing profiles out of my league and i think lets message see where it goes, then I notice the profile says ' not looking for single guys ' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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unless someone specifies on there profile that we aren't what they are looking for looks wise, we don't see why not as you'd be surprised how many will find you attractive and worse case scenario, you aren't for someone if they are being civil and polite about it.
i know it not easy and understand, as someone who has suffered and still does from time with low confidence ect. |
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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
No I’m usually message first think later |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always seeing profiles out of my league and i think lets message see where it goes, then I notice the profile says ' not looking for single guys ' "
We look for single guys... x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always seeing profiles out of my league and i think lets message see where it goes, then I notice the profile says ' not looking for single guys '
We look for single guys... x"
Sexy pair |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
You miss every shot you never take, so just send them a message.
Think enough of your self that there are no leagues, just different people with their own desires. You may not be what they are looking for, but that doesn’t make them better than you or in a different league. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Just send the message. It's not half as scary as approaching someone in real life."
That's very true. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one is ever out of another's league, maybe not to each others taste, but no one is superior to any other. |
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"As an adult I’ve always had low self esteem and this whole thing is definitely a test of that. On the one hand you want to meet people you think are attractive but on the other you can be too scared to approach anyone you feel is beyond you because they’ll be looking for someone they find attractive and how could that possibly be me?! Quite mad isn’t it! This is how I am
C x (wife)"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely yes, all the time. Even when they’ve messaged me first. There’s that little voice inside at times, saying “you’re not good enough” so I ignore.
The thing is if I feel like that looking at a profile, I will be feeling it more in person. Not relaxed and feeling rather intimidated in a way. So best to just move on . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Absolutely yes, all the time. Even when they’ve messaged me first. There’s that little voice inside at times, saying “you’re not good enough” so I ignore.
The thing is if I feel like that looking at a profile, I will be feeling it more in person. Not relaxed and feeling rather intimidated in a way. So best to just move on . "
Your pics are stunning, you look beautiful love the shibari rope ties . did you do that yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m in the ‘nothing to lose’ camp, and so I send a message. I figure that the worst that can happen is that they say no thanks.
A couple of times I’ve been very pleasantly surprised and it’s ended very positively. I say go for it. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I don't believe in leagues on here or in real life.There have been people I have been slightly hesitant to make first contact with as I thought they were be inundated with offers and messages. But I did and well it worked out pretty damn good .
There are some on here who do see themselves as "fab elite" but that mindset is a turn off for me anyhow and they aren't people I would want to interact with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes and no .. not leagues but more rejection .. . the reason I don’t send messages lol ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't believe in leagues on here or in real life.There have been people I have been slightly hesitant to make first contact with as I thought they were be inundated with offers and messages. But I did and well it worked out pretty damn good .
There are some on here who do see themselves as "fab elite" but that mindset is a turn off for me anyhow and they aren't people I would want to interact with. "
I completely get what you mean by fab elite which is what i'm maybe getting at in around about way |
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I certainly think I am nowhere near as fit, slim or attractive as most on here but if I like the look of someone, I will message.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely yes, all the time. Even when they’ve messaged me first. There’s that little voice inside at times, saying “you’re not good enough” so I ignore.
The thing is if I feel like that looking at a profile, I will be feeling it more in person. Not relaxed and feeling rather intimidated in a way. So best to just move on .
Your pics are stunning, you look beautiful love the shibari rope ties . did you do that yourself?"
Thank you beautiful
Yes I did the rope work myself, just playing and elaborating on YouTube tutorials. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Absolutely yes, all the time. Even when they’ve messaged me first. There’s that little voice inside at times, saying “you’re not good enough” so I ignore.
The thing is if I feel like that looking at a profile, I will be feeling it more in person. Not relaxed and feeling rather intimidated in a way. So best to just move on .
Your pics are stunning, you look beautiful love the shibari rope ties . did you do that yourself?
Thank you beautiful
Yes I did the rope work myself, just playing and elaborating on YouTube tutorials. xx "
Amazing I will give it ago |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance...."
All the time. Our Hotlist is full of single women and couples that we've not got the courage to message!
(Bry) |
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I’ve been accused by many men on her of being too picky. It’s not that I want a particular look, but I do want a particular kind of vibe or conversation.
I rarely message first but if I do it’s because I’ve loved their profile. Sometimes they message back sometimes they don’t.
I’ve worked bloody hard on my self esteem and to love myself the way I am, so even though I get very nervous (hidden) I am better at coming across with confidence. |
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Yes I've done this but on both parts, where I've just looked from a distance but another time I bit the bullet and sent anyway. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"I certainly think I am nowhere near as fit, slim or attractive as most on here but if I like the look of someone, I will message.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained x"
I think many would disagree with you there. |
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Trust us having a personality that comes across as respectful and fun is a huge leveller.
Indeed at one club we were told that our profile didn't excite them, but in real life we did. They knew they were hot as he'll, but guess we measured up with them both in the flesh.
Fortunately for us we don't hold grudges, are generally confident and don't play the not in your league game either.
If you don't ask you won't get. Ask and you might, or not, but don't ever regret not knowing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fuck no. You don't ask you don't get. |
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Yep
As much as I spout to people that they don't know what someone else is thinking and different doesn't mean better or worse, I struggle to listen to my own advice.
I admit there have been many messages I've received where I've thought "seriously, what in the blue fuck would make you think I'd be interested in you?" (Dirty, cheating, god awful pics) but the fact I have thought that way means I'm probably not the only one and yeah, I'm a judgemental cunt at times who has been repulsed by the thought that they considered me someone who would find their "aura" attractive.
I do have confidence issues, probably as a result of how I've been shaped but also probably because I myself am a nasty fucker at times.
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Live in hope but expect nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes. I like interacting a natural way via forums etc and if it goes to messages so be it. Although, don't be afraid to message me if you want to and filters allow - always happy to chat if I'm free |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think like this all of the time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeh we used to doubt ourselves quite a bit but now just think ,sod it if they say no they say no.
Been surprised a few times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I chat on forums but never message any lady on forums find most have filters and so they should find most lady’s out of my league !
Strictly third division and to old it is what it is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? "
There are seriously hot people on here who not only are not in my league, I sometimes think I am not even playing the same game lol!!!.
Most of the time I would say how attractive I thought they were but would never push to meet. Hopefully they would take pity on me and maybe I could start some sort of discourse. Mostly I just get ignored but that's ok too. At least i get to see the 'hot' people xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes. I like interacting a natural way via forums etc and if it goes to messages so be it. Although, don't be afraid to message me if you want to and filters allow - always happy to chat if I'm free "
I will add. I'm extremely boring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive sent the odd message when im feeling i may be what they wish. (Sadly no replies back at the moment).
But hey ho! I’ll always fab nice photos.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ive sent the odd message when im feeling i may be what they wish. (Sadly no replies back at the moment).
But hey ho! I’ll always fab nice photos.
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I've sent messages with no reply but I just move on |
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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
Took me forever to pluck up the nerve to msg them....
And then clicked on message.....
User has blocked everyone of your sex.
Well done guys |
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"I chat on forums but never message any lady on forums find most have filters and so they should find most lady’s out of my league !
Strictly third division and to old it is what it is "
I tend to stay away from forum men |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I chat on forums but never message any lady on forums find most have filters and so they should find most lady’s out of my league !
Strictly third division and to old it is what it is
I tend to stay away from forum men "
Why is that Sparkle? |
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"I chat on forums but never message any lady on forums find most have filters and so they should find most lady’s out of my league !
Strictly third division and to old it is what it is
I tend to stay away from forum men
Why is that Sparkle? "
Less drama. Some people get a bit territorial over others and I can't be doing with it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I chat on forums but never message any lady on forums find most have filters and so they should find most lady’s out of my league !
Strictly third division and to old it is what it is
I tend to stay away from forum men
Why is that Sparkle?
Less drama. Some people get a bit territorial over others and I can't be doing with it x"
Ah yes I've seen this on here. You look amazing btw |
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"I chat on forums but never message any lady on forums find most have filters and so they should find most lady’s out of my league !
Strictly third division and to old it is what it is
I tend to stay away from forum men
Why is that Sparkle?
Less drama. Some people get a bit territorial over others and I can't be doing with it x
Ah yes I've seen this on here. You look amazing btw "
I just leave them to it.
Thank you...as do you x |
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Given a am in the relegation zone of the amateur league I am always playing out of my league. I just have to go for it or I'd never talk to anyone.
OP - I don't think you'll have any problems if you send your message to anyone on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes. I like interacting a natural way via forums etc and if it goes to messages so be it. Although, don't be afraid to message me if you want to and filters allow - always happy to chat if I'm free
I will add. I'm extremely boring. "
Especially when your only reading material is about vaginas |
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"Sometimes. I like interacting a natural way via forums etc and if it goes to messages so be it. Although, don't be afraid to message me if you want to and filters allow - always happy to chat if I'm free
I will add. I'm extremely boring.
Especially when your only reading material is about vaginas "
Are you saying gynaecologists are boring? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes. I like interacting a natural way via forums etc and if it goes to messages so be it. Although, don't be afraid to message me if you want to and filters allow - always happy to chat if I'm free
I will add. I'm extremely boring.
Especially when your only reading material is about vaginas "
My other reading material is about dead bodies, near death experiences, menopause and perimenopause, farming |
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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago
Blyth |
I had a eork colleague who I always thought was way out of my league. No moves made as I thought I wouldn't have a chance. Move on a few years and she approached me and we had an amazing few months before she moved away from the area and got engaged.
Moral of the story...... no one is out of anyone's league and if you wait you'll lose valuable time together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes. I like interacting a natural way via forums etc and if it goes to messages so be it. Although, don't be afraid to message me if you want to and filters allow - always happy to chat if I'm free
I will add. I'm extremely boring.
Especially when your only reading material is about vaginas
My other reading material is about dead bodies, near death experiences, menopause and perimenopause, farming "
Oooft….you say you’re boring….I disagree after hearing about this new material |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
No1 is out of my league
If I don't message them it's because I can't be bothered |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You only live once, we try and get on with it - bearing in mind most people are somewhat insecure/people only put their best photos up generally, ha! We get ghosted all the time, never mind.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You only live once, we try and get on with it - bearing in mind most people are somewhat insecure/people only put their best photos up generally, ha! We get ghosted all the time, never mind.. "
Some people don’t know what they’re missing…you two look lovely |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Given a am in the relegation zone of the amateur league I am always playing out of my league. I just have to go for it or I'd never talk to anyone.
OP - I don't think you'll have any problems if you send your message to anyone on here "
Thank you, I appreciate that |
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Nope. I know I’m not a sexy drop dead gorgeous hunk. But not everyone is after a sexy drop dead gorgeous hunk. If I like someone’s pics and profile and think we’ll click them I’ll message. |
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By *iPythonMan
over a year ago
In my pants |
"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? "
Every. Single. Day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every message i send lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ya, I’ve no self confidence, so never message first in fear of rejection and just hope someone likes and messages me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You only live once, we try and get on with it - bearing in mind most people are somewhat insecure/people only put their best photos up generally, ha! We get ghosted all the time, never mind..
Some people don’t know what they’re missing…you two look lovely "
Ah thank you so much xx |
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By *ubyRonCouple
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Yes I have.
There are loads of hot people on here, men and women.
Even in the virtual world it is still difficult to approach someone you thing is out of your league. But when a hottie messages you the boost you get is amazing. "
When a hottie messages me (Ron) I automitxally assume it's a scam |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't message - it's just embarrassing for them and me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You only live once, we try and get on with it - bearing in mind most people are somewhat insecure/people only put their best photos up generally, ha! We get ghosted all the time, never mind..
Some people don’t know what they’re missing…you two look lovely
Ah thank you so much xx"
No need for thanks |
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"I had a eork colleague who I always thought was way out of my league. No moves made as I thought I wouldn't have a chance. Move on a few years and she approached me and we had an amazing few months before she moved away from the area and got engaged.
Moral of the story...... no one is out of anyone's league and if you wait you'll lose valuable time together."
Great attitude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Al the time for me to just have a perv and never waste their time messaging them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always think that…. I have spoken to a few gorgeous ladies though |
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All the time. I never message first unless it’s someone I already know/have been talking to. |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"OP your profile is beautiful
You may be surprised, I've been surprised by a guy I thought was out of our league but he's actually just a really good guy into older women. You never know, you may just find your diamond xxx"
Well said...
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... I normally let guys message me on here and as it is only for a one night shag, some have worked out amazing. So let them worship at your feet hun...
In my younger days, I would do the chasing at pubs and clubs and I've shagged my Tom Selleck look-alike (check), Harrison Ford (check), Jason Statham (check)... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP your profile is beautiful
You may be surprised, I've been surprised by a guy I thought was out of our league but he's actually just a really good guy into older women. You never know, you may just find your diamond xxx
Well said...
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... I normally let guys message me on here and as it is only for a one night shag, some have worked out amazing. So let them worship at your feet hun...
In my younger days, I would do the chasing at pubs and clubs and I've shagged my Tom Selleck look-alike (check), Harrison Ford (check), Jason Statham (check)... "
If you’re still looking for Ross Kemp then consider me him |
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Yes, basically every woman and couple on here!
Must work on my self confidence!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's no such thing as league's so I don't think that way. But I do steer clear of people who make clear on their profile they are all about body image and fitness. Can't help but think they expect the same and will judge my wobbly bits. |
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I’m in a league of my own, it’s probably for the best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? "
You only miss the shots you didn’t take |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive found this over the years, luckily as you get older you start to gain confidence in yourself, it's also about having a good personality as well as an attraction or connection x always worth saying hello to someone as you never know x"
I have found that the older I get the less confident i am...(Mrs PD) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are some gorgeous massive hard horny cocks on here, when I get mega horny I will just see how much of it I can get in my mouth.its worth a try. |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
When I joined over a year ago I felt everyone was out of my league and hesitated to contact people, how time has changed my perspective, I've found that the serious and more mature fabbers who I once considered out of my legue are actually the most approachable people and the ones who think they are out of most peoples league must actually be quite lonely and shallow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get that confidence is a thing absolutely - but I think there needs to be some realism too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x"
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Strangely it only happens online. Out in the real world I have no problems in approaching anyone. Any number of women I can approach with cheeky confidence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not many men have their face on their profile, so how would I even know? |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"When I joined over a year ago I felt everyone was out of my league and hesitated to contact people, how time has changed my perspective, I've found that the serious and more mature fabbers who I once considered out of my legue are actually the most approachable people and the ones who think they are out of most peoples league must actually be quite lonely and shallow."
Ha ha quite true, if you need a league you are possibly not even in the game. |
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Constant struggle of the single bi guy on here who isn’t hung like a horse and doesn’t have a gym fit body. Not high on anyone’s wish list. |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"If you’re still looking for Ross Kemp then consider me him "
Oh I'm working my way round to you sexy...
My ex-bf looked like Ross Kemp... It was boring when the girls and boys got all flirty with him in front of me... Pppfffttt...
You must have that problem too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m out of a lot of peoples league but if you don’t ask you won’t know if you have a chance with that one person or couple. Maybe one day hey lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to be afraid of it. But right now, I just message them no matter what. It's upto them to decide whether to accept or reject me. I still have them on hotlist though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X "
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you’re still looking for Ross Kemp then consider me him
Oh I'm working my way round to you sexy...
My ex-bf looked like Ross Kemp... It was boring when the girls and boys got all flirty with him in front of me... Pppfffttt...
You must have that problem too? "
I do….but don’t worry….I’m saving myself all for you |
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All the time x scared of rejection x |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
I've had said to me a few times.
Maybe it's my ability to eat a lot of cake. |
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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago
Blyth |
"Not many men have their face on their profile, so how would I even know?"
Says a woman who doesn't have a face pic on her profile. ;- |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned. "
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned. "
I don't get mentioned in those type of threads either. But I'm still hot, as are you. I can see why those threads can be a confidence boost for some but on the main they're not to be taken too seriously. It's more about those who post than what they post. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures "
I don't either, I find it's the same people that get hotlisted. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I like to wink sexy men to see if they block me |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures
I don't either, I find it's the same people that get hotlisted. "
I just checked my Hotlist! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures "
Thank you. I just avoid those threads as I think many do - the ones where you send post also - I join in and never get any back. Best to avoid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not many men have their face on their profile, so how would I even know?
Says a woman who doesn't have a face pic on her profile. ;- "
I think you missed my point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to wink sexy men to see if they block me "
I have winked a fair few. It resulted in one meet I guess. Never been blocked! |
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Well i message a few ladies but didnt got a reply and wen i did was to crush me or humiliate me..lost a bit of confidence here..but alwais polite and i belive theirs good people here. |
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Think Brentford or sheff United a few years ago. Sometimes the underdog has his day. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
Yes, all the time. I do it anyway.
Unfortunately 99% of the time the outcome is as expected. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t believe in leagues, it’s about connection and chemistry, and they can happen between anyone |
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By *un_ajMan
over a year ago
York |
There are an awful lot who I think are way out of my league or certainly not interested in single men. It does make you feel undervalued I guess as those who are genuine all try to make this a place of fun. A lot of this frizzles out into nothing.
One time I may get lucky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? "
Hungry for a kiss, I am absolutely astounded that you have any kind of confidence issues - you are top of my hotlist!!!! |
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures
Thank you. I just avoid those threads as I think many do - the ones where you send post also - I join in and never get any back. Best to avoid. "
You always know who's names are going to be mentioned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures
Thank you. I just avoid those threads as I think many do - the ones where you send post also - I join in and never get any back. Best to avoid.
You always know who's names are going to be mentioned "
Yep. I do. And I'm not jealous because they're all lovely. But it makes me feel a bit shit, so I just stay away now. Easy. |
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures
Thank you. I just avoid those threads as I think many do - the ones where you send post also - I join in and never get any back. Best to avoid.
You always know who's names are going to be mentioned
Yep. I do. And I'm not jealous because they're all lovely. But it makes me feel a bit shit, so I just stay away now. Easy. "
I've pulled away from the forums lately as it's always the same people time and time again, and when "newbies" try and join in they end up sometimes getting the piss taken out of them or berated because a topic has been "done to death"
Maybe one day it will all go back to how it was x |
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By *un_ajMan
over a year ago
York |
"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures
Thank you. I just avoid those threads as I think many do - the ones where you send post also - I join in and never get any back. Best to avoid.
You always know who's names are going to be mentioned
Yep. I do. And I'm not jealous because they're all lovely. But it makes me feel a bit shit, so I just stay away now. Easy. "
Don’t get disheartened. Your such a beautiful woman. Such a shame I can’t message you and tell you how gorgeous you look |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? "
Currently arguing with my friend on here about that. I feel like she should message they guys back at the very least. They've messaged first, they've seen what they're looking at and they know what they want.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Strangely enough I feel braver and more confident on Fab than I do in real life.
I do all the messaging and approaching from our profile and if I think we could be a match I will take the chance even if they look like supermodels.
We’re not looking for potential partners just some good, raunchy fun.
If they knock us back there’s plenty more out there to choose from.
Some of the most unapproachable looking profiles are just like anyone else with the same hang ups and self doubts.
Watch me get some awful message back next time after saying this!
But seriously, we’re all as good as the next person. Take a chance, as long as you’ve read their profile of course and match what they’re looking for.
V x |
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By *un_ajMan
over a year ago
York |
There are a lot of beautiful people on here and a lot of the time people should be kinder with their words and appreciate peoples sexiness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others?
Currently arguing with my friend on here about that. I feel like she should message they guys back at the very least. They've messaged first, they've seen what they're looking at and they know what they want.
P"
For me I think it’s more about getting in your own head.
People can tell you till the cows come home, you look amazing or you are good enough.
But believing that for yourself is something entirely different. |
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Interesting thread.
I too look at profiles and think no chance and I'm right... I've tried the wink and sending messages with no luck, o well you can't knock someone who tries....
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By *un_ajMan
over a year ago
York |
"Interesting thread.
I too look at profiles and think no chance and I'm right... I've tried the wink and sending messages with no luck, o well you can't knock someone who tries....
"
Absolutely. All you can do is keep trying and someone will know you are genuine and have the same attraction |
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I've met a couple of ladies on here that I thought was way out of my league. Had a lot of fun.
You don't know what they are looking for so you can but ask.
If you get a "No" or no reply, move on. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Not really,,it would be insulting to the people I have messaged. But there are some I haven’t messaged yet, and that’s because there is something to lose if don't wait and give it my best shot |
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All the time, so I peek and move on.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures
Thank you. I just avoid those threads as I think many do - the ones where you send post also - I join in and never get any back. Best to avoid. "
I can totally relate to that.
I avoided them for years as I never really felt part of the forums (an outsider, seen it can be quite cliquey at times) just popped on had a nosey, at times with my two pence worth and hopped off again.
but recently did, because I thought f it. More so because I love talking about others photos and show appreciation for them and found it an opportunity to do so. rather than hijack a thread to do it. (I’m a nightmare for that )
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Aww this is upsetting to read through… your all more loverly than you could ever believe ,
It’s a shame you can’t all group message every one in this thread , that way each of you could believe the other made the first move … |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others?
Currently arguing with my friend on here about that. I feel like she should message they guys back at the very least. They've messaged first, they've seen what they're looking at and they know what they want.
P
For me I think it’s more about getting in your own head.
People can tell you till the cows come home, you look amazing or you are good enough.
But believing that for yourself is something entirely different. "
This is very true, but I still try to encourage
P |
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You don't know the other person's likes. You might be the most beautiful creature for someone. Some people prefer petite some bigger, some even love stretch marks. The world is weird and we all should think highly about ourselves. And we should be kind and respectful for ourselves and others |
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Most of the time we look but don't message. Send winks but not much return with them. Always struggle with what to say that probably hasn't been sent a million times in a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures
Thank you. I just avoid those threads as I think many do - the ones where you send post also - I join in and never get any back. Best to avoid.
You always know who's names are going to be mentioned
Yep. I do. And I'm not jealous because they're all lovely. But it makes me feel a bit shit, so I just stay away now. Easy.
I've pulled away from the forums lately as it's always the same people time and time again, and when "newbies" try and join in they end up sometimes getting the piss taken out of them or berated because a topic has been "done to death"
Maybe one day it will all go back to how it was x"
Actually I have warned a few off certain threads as I know they will feel crap if they don't get a mention. I can't complain when I get messages and winks and compliments. Much harder if you're not getting any of that and still doubt yourself. |
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It's a shame some of us lack the courage to message those who have written in this thread who may be in local areas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, 100%. There are loads that I have looked at and thought they would never even look twice at me.
Then I joined in with the forum games that they were on(hotlist confessions and my mate fancies you type ones) and let them know, and have had a couple of them messaged me back!
Not managed to arrange a meet with any of them yet, but even if it never happens its still boosted my confidence a lot.
MJ x
I’m definitely the same. Those hot list confession threads can be quite a little confidence boost when you see some on there confessing they like your profile.
I rarely send that first message as I often thought they wouldn’t be interested. Perhaps this is the year to stop thinking that way.
X
I never join those threads anymore. Not once have I been mentioned.
I’m not sure why. you have some beautiful pictures
Thank you. I just avoid those threads as I think many do - the ones where you send post also - I join in and never get any back. Best to avoid.
You always know who's names are going to be mentioned
Yep. I do. And I'm not jealous because they're all lovely. But it makes me feel a bit shit, so I just stay away now. Easy.
Don’t get disheartened. Your such a beautiful woman. Such a shame I can’t message you and tell you how gorgeous you look "
Thank you. Thats very sweet. I'm not beautiful but probably look better than I usually think to be fair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve grown so much more confident after messaging people I thought would knock me back. I think I’d have kicked myself by not knowing for sure. |
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Hell yes, we've done it in clubs too with more success. Oh some damn sexy folk over the years we would think were above our league, must be our lovely natures shining through lol . Don't most folk put themselves down though when there's usually no need to ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think most struggle when we first join
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I have but after looking at the profile and whom they have met previously and think I am not to their taste I pass. |
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I think the majority of people are out of my league so i just tend to message out of blind optimism and never really expect to get replies...some do reply though which is great x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I dont pay much attention to pictures. Im more interested in what the person writes in their profile/message. But I am a bit weird! I find that looks arent very significant for me when it comes to attraction! Its much more about how a person expresses themself!
Maybe because of that, I dont get anxious about messaging people - I guess in my mind I imagine people reading my profile rather than looking at my pics!! It also helps me that I have a limited number of pics all of which I am happy with!
I do sometimes get put off a profile if they are overly subscriptive about how I should look though, even when I fit all their criteria - it just feels like they are gonna be really judgemental, and seriously, who needs that when they are trying to relax and enjoy themself!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah, I don't believe in leagues ever since Leicester won the champions League |
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Oh god ya most women on here are way out of my league |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We tend to just message and see what happens. We all find different people attractive, so who knows what the person/people you’re messaging like.
I thought hubby was out of my league when we met, turns out he thought the same but luckily we still got talking.
I think it’s best to just remember everyone’s different, don’t get upset if people don’t respond or say no as someone who’s type you are could be the next message.
We’ve also found it’s timing. Sometimes we’ve spoken to someone and we were just all in the mood for playing. Doubt it mattered what we all looked like. Lol x |
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"Yes.. so just perved and moved on lol
Mrs x"
Most would class you out of league too stunning x ty |
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"As an adult I’ve always had low self esteem and this whole thing is definitely a test of that. On the one hand you want to meet people you think are attractive but on the other you can be too scared to approach anyone you feel is beyond you because they’ll be looking for someone they find attractive and how could that possibly be me?! Quite mad isn’t it!
C x (wife)
Really cookie? But, I mean, you are absolutely stunning. Like top class. "
Aww thank you but I see every fault and flaw and I’m awful for comparing myself to others.
C x |
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"As an adult I’ve always had low self esteem and this whole thing is definitely a test of that. On the one hand you want to meet people you think are attractive but on the other you can be too scared to approach anyone you feel is beyond you because they’ll be looking for someone they find attractive and how could that possibly be me?! Quite mad isn’t it!
C x (wife)
You look fantastic, but I totally get the self esteem and confidence is a massive thing
Mrs x"
Many years of feeling dragged down by other people. The husband has had 18 years of trying to build me up. I am getting there but it has to come form yourself and not other people which is difficult.
C x |
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Mts C Flawless and ty for great pics, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others? "
All. The. Time. I'm quite shy and not terribly confident in my attractiveness. Still don't take any bullshit mind. Hee hee |
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"Have you seen someone and wanted to message but thought I've no chance or did you think I've nothing to lose and sent one? There's alot of stunning people on here how do you look at yourself when messaging others?
Currently arguing with my friend on here about that. I feel like she should message they guys back at the very least. They've messaged first, they've seen what they're looking at and they know what they want.
P
For me I think it’s more about getting in your own head.
People can tell you till the cows come home, you look amazing or you are good enough.
But believing that for yourself is something entirely different. "
Exactly this! Sexy isn’t so much about how someone looks, it’s more about how they feel in themselves and the way they project it to the World.
C x |
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Mrs here...yep I do particularly women and couples...and it's more down to body confidence, if I like the look or a couple with slim body or woman I instantly believe they would want to be involved so the though of msging goes right out the window...when we get a couple or female msg us which doesn't happen ofte at all bit they have a slim body I also think that profile must be fake..why would a woman who looks like that fancy a woman like me...its awful..a real roller coaster of emotions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mrs here...yep I do particularly women and couples...and it's more down to body confidence, if I like the look or a couple with slim body or woman I instantly believe they would want to be involved so the though of msging goes right out the window...when we get a couple or female msg us which doesn't happen ofte at all bit they have a slim body I also think that profile must be fake..why would a woman who looks like that fancy a woman like me...its awful..a real roller coaster of emotions. "
Hard relate! Couples are a minefield to me anyway as there are so many complexities and it's often the male party messaging anyway. I immediately assume if a woman is slim she couldn't possibly like me. Silly I know as attraction is subjective. Can't switch that shit off sadly. It's such a lady cock block. |
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All the time every body is out of my league don’t stand a chance with all the other blokes on here so no woman will look twice at me |
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Never been brave enough to message those that we think are just ridiculously hot, have winked a few though in the hope of getting one back. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow this thread is a great read, thank you all for your input. Its amazing how so many feel this way, you're all beautiful in my eyes male/female. Live for today and enjoy life |
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It’s incredibly tough on mental well-being particularly if anyone has low self-esteem or body image issues, when this site (and others) connect people primarily by how they look. It’s important to remember though, that there are no league barriers, simply preferences and that we are prepared mentally to accept lack of any engagement or rejection without spiralling into self doubt, depression and exacerbating pre-existing mental health conditions. Be kind to others but especially be kind to yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Male from couple here. When it comes to guys Gina will easily message and she knows she will get a response. When it comes to women, the ones I want to play will have millions of messages so we'll just be lost. Some I do message but not many. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I message them and do get answers because I treat them as I would anyone else, not worship them or blow smoke up their ass. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
Some say there's no such thing as leagues, but when you've been told so many times that 'you're not what they're looking for' then it does make you think there is. |
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