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Sex drive
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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
It's hard I know. But everyone goes through peaks and troughs.
It's most important that you love and support her in the way she needs.
I KNOW how hard it is for us men. But try to give her the space she needs and not add to whatever mental load there is there.
All the best. |
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"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?"
Have you thought of couples therapy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's normal for me. Mine comes and goes. I'll have a phase of weeks or months when I'm jumping hubby all the time and meeting loads, then I switch and can spend weeks or months barely having sex at all xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's normal for me. Mine comes and goes. I'll have a phase of weeks or months when I'm jumping hubby all the time and meeting loads, then I switch and can spend weeks or months barely having sex at all xx"
Same only ive no hubby i just call a fuck buddy lol |
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Yep, she's only 35 so probably not menopause, could be her pill so she's coming off it and we will need to be careful. Covid environment has stressed her out so hopefully coming out of that and reducing her stress will help. I'll doing all I can and not pushing her. I just hope she's ok as it's really depressing her. |
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"Yep, she's only 35 so probably not menopause, could be her pill so she's coming off it and we will need to be careful. Covid environment has stressed her out so hopefully coming out of that and reducing her stress will help. I'll doing all I can and not pushing her. I just hope she's ok as it's really depressing her."
Some women go through menopause inntgeir 30s of it could be perimenopause & GPs are useless at spotting both
But as you said the last 2yrs won't have helped and depression & anxiety can play havoc with everything |
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List my mojo sex what's that, come out of a sexless relationship before lockdown and still nothing And as for the young lady it my be the pressure with the lockdown or that age some started eary and the menopause, some there sex drive goes in to ouer drive other its dies |
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could never come back. It may just have been something that was exciting before and now secretly disgusts or embarrasses her. Some light in tunnel though if she is genuine in saying she misses it too. |
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"Yep, she's only 35 so probably not menopause, could be her pill so she's coming off it and we will need to be careful. Covid environment has stressed her out so hopefully coming out of that and reducing her stress will help. I'll doing all I can and not pushing her. I just hope she's ok as it's really depressing her."
A trip to the Doctors is needed I think, a simple blood test can check the Estrogen levels..if they are high good or low it could be the Menopause, stress and low mood all effects our libido, maybe needs to change the pill she takes, all these things can be discussed with her Doctor. Good luck to her, if you feel it's hard for you then just appreciate how much harder it will be for her. |
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At the beginning of 2020 she changed her pill then Covid hit. Her pill has no estrogen and she started spotting, getting acne and her gorgeous red hair thinned out. We think it's the pill as online forums speak of lots of women losing their sex drive with this pill. Suppose it stops you getting pregnant so it does what it says on the packet! |
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As some have said, give it some time it might come back, of course it may not but you cant be sure.
Been with my bf for 20 years & my sex drive was so low for a long time, even worse because his has always been high but in the last 12 months ive been insatiable & i love everything about sex. So it can happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Bin her and get a new one "
Your bio says..."polite educated gentleman"...going by this very immature response...I think not!
Op is looking for advice as he clearly cares and loves his other half....your comment does not help!  |
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"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?"
Have you tried turning her off and on again? |
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"If she knows you're on here without her that would massively knock her confidence."
She knows I'm on here and has full access. She also helps arranged the odd meet with guys. I just miss playing with her. |
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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago
Suffolk - East Anglia |
"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?
Have you tried turning her off and on again? "
 |
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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago
Oo err Devon |
My sex drive changes, stress makes it lower, getting outside and lots of exercise makes it skyrocket.. we are all different..
Confidence certainly plays abusive role ans if I'm feeling well generally my sex drive reflects this. |
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"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?"
Sounds like you’re trying all the right things.
Definitely try changing or stopping the pill.
As others have said, see a doctor.
Ignore the halfwits who like to make fun of your situation.
Relationships are hard work but worth it for the right one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in my 30s when I had to change my pill. It took a couple of years to change and settle my contraception.
My sex drive is higher than ever now.
My point being, you could be right. The fact that you both care about it and are trying to work it through is a brilliant positive for you both.
Good luck OP. I hope you both figure it out, keep supporting and loving each other.  |
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"
Bin her and get a new one
Your bio says..."polite educated gentleman"...going by this very immature response...I think not!
Op is looking for advice as he clearly cares and loves his other half....your comment does not help! "
Ma bad I’ll get my jacket |
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I do think the more she worries about it the more it's gonna hide.
I've not had a sex drive since the start of lockdown when my world at the time fell apart.
I've gone through the motions in my head and instead of ride it out (no pun intended) I've been thinking I must be totally fucked up, what's wrong with me? and all that shit.
Yeah, I could very probably do with a trip to the GP. |
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We went through a similar thing many years ago only I didn’t feel it was a big deal (how times have changed!) but hubby struggled for a bit and it did cause the only big arguments we’ve ever had. We now know those arguments weee all down to lack of communication and us each feeling we couldn’t be completely honest and open about how we were feeling or what we wanted. You need to make sure that you are still speaking to maintain the emotional connection even when there isn’t a sexual one.
The single biggest favour I ever did for our sex life (other than deciding to try anal!) was switching to the copper coil. Because it isn’t hormone based, I don’t get mood swings or the depression and anxiety I had with the implant and jab, my sec drive came back with a vengeance and things are now really, really good. It was like a black cloud lifted when I stopped with the hormone based stuff.
If she has a lot going on personally or with work then that can also cause problems. Maybe she’s struggling with her self confidence or feeling sexy? You need to make sure you keep talking and you’re both being totally open with one another.
C (the wife) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have bouts where I’m super horny then I can happily got a month without it..
I think life’s stresses, kids, work etc can play a huge factor for me personally x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have bouts where I’m super horny then I can happily got a month without it..
I think life’s stresses, kids, work etc can play a huge factor for me personally x"
Totally agree |
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"We went through a similar thing many years ago only I didn’t feel it was a big deal (how times have changed!) but hubby struggled for a bit and it did cause the only big arguments we’ve ever had. We now know those arguments weee all down to lack of communication and us each feeling we couldn’t be completely honest and open about how we were feeling or what we wanted. You need to make sure that you are still speaking to maintain the emotional connection even when there isn’t a sexual one.
The single biggest favour I ever did for our sex life (other than deciding to try anal!) was switching to the copper coil. Because it isn’t hormone based, I don’t get mood swings or the depression and anxiety I had with the implant and jab, my sec drive came back with a vengeance and things are now really, really good. It was like a black cloud lifted when I stopped with the hormone based stuff.
If she has a lot going on personally or with work then that can also cause problems. Maybe she’s struggling with her self confidence or feeling sexy? You need to make sure you keep talking and you’re both being totally open with one another.
C (the wife)"
We're convinced it's something to do with her contraception pill. Totally get what you mean about keep talking. XXX thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We're convinced it's something to do with her contraception pill. Totally get what you mean about keep talking. XXX thanks."
I never thought it could be that, im on the mini pill and totally have no sex drive |
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"We went through a similar thing many years ago only I didn’t feel it was a big deal (how times have changed!) but hubby struggled for a bit and it did cause the only big arguments we’ve ever had. We now know those arguments weee all down to lack of communication and us each feeling we couldn’t be completely honest and open about how we were feeling or what we wanted. You need to make sure that you are still speaking to maintain the emotional connection even when there isn’t a sexual one.
The single biggest favour I ever did for our sex life (other than deciding to try anal!) was switching to the copper coil. Because it isn’t hormone based, I don’t get mood swings or the depression and anxiety I had with the implant and jab, my sec drive came back with a vengeance and things are now really, really good. It was like a black cloud lifted when I stopped with the hormone based stuff.
If she has a lot going on personally or with work then that can also cause problems. Maybe she’s struggling with her self confidence or feeling sexy? You need to make sure you keep talking and you’re both being totally open with one another.
C (the wife)
We're convinced it's something to do with her contraception pill. Totally get what you mean about keep talking. XXX thanks."
If I were her I’d come off of it and switch to something else. It isn’t worth the emotional and mental negatives to stay on something when it’s stealing aspects of you from yourself.
C x |
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"
We're convinced it's something to do with her contraception pill. Totally get what you mean about keep talking. XXX thanks.
I never thought it could be that, im on the mini pill and totally have no sex drive"
Anything hormone based can have an impact on libido which is crappy because most of the point of being on it is so we can have sex and then you end up not wanting it!
C x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's driving me crazy, we used to have such a great sex life. She now gets upset when I see my male mates. I know it sounds selfish but I'm not happy being a monk. Not sure what to do?"
Focus on your relationship for the time being. Understand why she has changed and communicate with each other. We all go through times where we're not feeling it for whatever reason but it's up to you to decide if you can survive one stepping out without the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's driving me crazy, we used to have such a great sex life. She now gets upset when I see my male mates. I know it sounds selfish but I'm not happy being a monk. Not sure what to do?"
I can understand how you feel OP. Hopefully your relationship is much more than about sex. Touch, hugging, sharing emotionally are just as important if not more. A good relationship is about knowing things can change involuntarily but having the depth and strength in the relationship to adapt and see things through. |
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"At the beginning of 2020 she changed her pill then Covid hit. Her pill has no estrogen and she started spotting, getting acne and her gorgeous red hair thinned out. We think it's the pill as online forums speak of lots of women losing their sex drive with this pill. Suppose it stops you getting pregnant so it does what it says on the packet!"
I can’t tolerate the progesterone-only pill. Last August I got a Mirena coil as a last ditch effort to sort some gynae issues which I’d been offered surgery for. I suspected the hormones wouldn’t suit me and it has been the case - anxiety is worse, low moods, hair thinning, weight gain and loss of sex drive. It’s coming out on Thursday and I can’t wait.
Hopefully your fiancée will feel better if she stops the pill, it sounds likely to me that could be the issue  |
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She's been on the pill all her sexual life and is nervous about not being on it and going through all the period problems. Hopefully this year will see her shine again. Trust me we are all missing out. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is the real possibility of perimenopause which is well documented as affecting women earlier than their forties.
Worth a conversation with her gp, and clearly may lead to her needing your love, understanding, and support. I wish you both well on working through it. |
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If people were totally honest we think most people go through phases with their sex drive. Stress, worries, work, health issues young family and other commitments and issues can all take their toll. Anyone who says they don't ever get a dip in their sex drive must have an exceptionally good care free life. |
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"She's been on the pill all her sexual life and is nervous about not being on it and going through all the period problems. Hopefully this year will see her shine again. Trust me we are all missing out. Xxx"
Have you thought of having a vasectomy? |
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"
Bin her and get a new one
Your bio says..."polite educated gentleman"...going by this very immature response...I think not!
Op is looking for advice as he clearly cares and loves his other half....your comment does not help!
Ma bad I’ll get my jacket "
Just before you do, he is asking on a sex site. His problem seems to be he's up for it while she's not.
If the relationship is about the sex then that's all there is, hence ask advice on a sex site.
Brutal though your response was & kinda tongue in cheek though predictable someone would say it, it's a route he should seriously consider.
Cut your losses now & part friends before you're caught up to the obvious temptations Fab has to offer (little gentler than "bin her" unfortunately same message).
|
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"If people were totally honest we think most people go through phases with their sex drive. Stress, worries, work, health issues young family and other commitments and issues can all take their toll. Anyone who says they don't ever get a dip in their sex drive must have an exceptionally good care free life."
Totally agree. We all peak and trough sex wise. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"
Bin her and get a new one
Your bio says..."polite educated gentleman"...going by this very immature response...I think not!
Op is looking for advice as he clearly cares and loves his other half....your comment does not help!
Ma bad I’ll get my jacket
Just before you do, he is asking on a sex site. His problem seems to be he's up for it while she's not.
If the relationship is about the sex then that's all there is, hence ask advice on a sex site.
Brutal though your response was & kinda tongue in cheek though predictable someone would say it, it's a route he should seriously consider.
Cut your losses now & part friends before you're caught up to the obvious temptations Fab has to offer (little gentler than "bin her" unfortunately same message).
"
That’s a bit harsh. Cut your losses.?What about help her with what could be a hormone issue! |
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"I have an amazing fiancee who I met swinging. My dream girl. After a few years she's totally lost her sex drive and I fear it's gone forever. Any suggestions?
Bin her and get a new one "
I bet the block button is ringing on here for your profile like a major win on a las vegas fruit machine. Heartless totally heartless comment.  |
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