FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > The right to a meet
The right to a meet
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No experience with this but that’s a massive red flag."
He was so angry, I said we've met twice I'm a single lady I can see who I want he was livid  had to block him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I've found single men can start to get possessive. Which is completely out of order when it's just casual. Sticking with one night stands, couples, clubs, even married men can prevent this. But it's understandable that many people prefer regulars and this is a risk of that xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On my previous profile I was chatting to a woman 60 miles away who I haven’t even met yet we had arranged the social and she used to comment on every time I was online and asked me what I was doing. I would explain that I would consider monogamy with a genuine FWB but until I find one I’m enjoying the website. It got so strange and I got so many weird questions every time I was online that I blocked her. |
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"No experience with this but that’s a massive red flag.
He was so angry, I said we've met twice I'm a single lady I can see who I want he was livid had to block him "
At first I thought I’d rather meet a regular FWB than a brand new person. But with this update on his attitude, definitely not.  |
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By *rNightMan
over a year ago
Coventry |
Sounds like the kind of guy that when meeting as part of a couple, starts trying to privately message the woman from the other couple after the event.
I’d just be asking for a detailed break down of what happened afterwards  |
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By *lappyMan
over a year ago
Manchester |
can’t believe the absolute nerve of this guy, just because he has had the pleasure of meeting you twice he thinks your his, what an idiot and like you identify your a single woman whom can meet whom and when she pleases and has also been stated by a previous poster as well at the end of the day it’s completely none of his business. I hope you enjoy your new meet and don’t give the other bloke a second thought |
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We had a couple who the man wanted to direct everything, including how Mrs Shady should shave off her landing strip. He got short shrift. Strangely enough he's no longer with the woman either, it seems his narcissistic ways got to her too.
Don't ignore red flags, if they're raised with you OP, they have done so with good reason.
Being over familiarity breeds contempt, respect always is a mantra to live by, giving and receiving. Take care. |
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Jealousy can play a bad part in swinging and casual sex meets.
I felt the fury of a woman’s jealous rage when I met another woman we had discussed a potential fmf with. I had to explain I’m single can meet who I want and so was she.
She kept sending me vids and pics of other guys fucking her like some kind of revenge tactic....weird scenes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people really don't grasp the concept of swinging do they.
Hope you have a great meet.
No I think he wants a gf and that's not me, thankyou  "
Sounds more as if he wants control over you - major red flag as others have said |
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"Jealousy can play a bad part in swinging and casual sex meets.
I felt the fury of a woman’s jealous rage when I met another woman we had discussed a potential fmf with. I had to explain I’m single can meet who I want and so was she.
She kept sending me vids and pics of other guys fucking her like some kind of revenge tactic....weird scenes!"
What a delight. Not.
See, told ya this is a dangerous fucking game to play. People think I exaggerate when I talk about the level of cuntiness displayed (often behind the scenes) and that peeps are melted in the melon department, disillusioned and game playing fucknuggets.
Sense goes out the window when it comes to matters of the genitals and ego. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No experience with this but that’s a massive red flag.
He was so angry, I said we've met twice I'm a single lady I can see who I want he was livid had to block him "
That’s probably for the best. If he’s acting like that now imagine how he would act after a few more meets and getting even more comfortable. |
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Yes on more than one occasion
One guy said to me that I should be speaking to guys I'd met previously before advertising meets with new people
His reasoning was it's hard for guys to get meets so when they do they should get first refusal on any future meets I want to do.. erm no
Another got annoyed when I advertised a meet saying it had been 6 months and he thought I should have asked him first, as he was due a round
I make it very clear I prefer one offs to repeat meets so both these guys got blocked rather rgZn remaining friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is the exact reason I’m taking a break from meets. There are to many that want to push a more relationship attitude on a casual fb or fwb situation. Some showing quite controlling tendencies. |
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"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. "
Red flag..run for the hills honey xx |
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We had a guy who we had invited for a social. He had it in his head we were having a 3 way relationship, he was messaging every day all day on WhatsApp. We genuinely believe thst he had fallen for me big time...eventually he ended up on our block list..some guys are very confused about do's and don't in the swinging world..they automatically treat it like they have met the person in a club and think they should be treated as seeing someone.. |
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On a previous profile I met someone who made it very clear from day one that she had a couple of other regular guys. That suited me perfectly because my plan was to meet others as well.
However after just a couple of meets she became enraged when I started chatting to other women in a chatgroup and insisted that I must be exclusive to her.
I argued that she knew that wasn't something I was interested in and asked if she would also be giving up the other guys. She laughed and said no way as she had been on here longer than me and was entitled to meet who she wanted.
The drama and demands became unbearable and I hid my profile and left the site for a year.
To this day she tells people how I hurt her but luckily for me some of those she tells know exactly what happened and have no time for her delusion. |
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I had a very similar issue once. I'd seen someone twice then met someone else and got a lovely veri. The guy who I'd seen twice sent a message saying how dare I meet anyone else as I was supposed to be "partnered with" him now.
He seemed to think two meets meant that I would be exclusive seeing him. He was blocked very quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had a guy that we’d messaged a couple of times and not even met get all possessive and jealous because we’d updated our status that we were going to a club one evening.
He holds a very special place in our hearts the poor insecure darling.
He’s probably still plotting our deaths |
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"We had a guy that we’d messaged a couple of times and not even met get all possessive and jealous because we’d updated our status that we were going to a club one evening.
He holds a very special place in our hearts the poor insecure darling.
He’s probably still plotting our deaths "
Wow.
Even bigger red flag if you haven't even met |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a guy who we had invited for a social. He had it in his head we were having a 3 way relationship, he was messaging every day all day on WhatsApp. We genuinely believe thst he had fallen for me big time...eventually he ended up on our block list..some guys are very confused about do's and don't in the swinging world..they automatically treat it like they have met the person in a club and think they should be treated as seeing someone.."
I had this from a woman in a couple. I'd only met them for one social but she texted me all day like I was her girlfriend. Had to block her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. "
Why did you tell him you have a meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No experience with this but that’s a massive red flag.
He was so angry, I said we've met twice I'm a single lady I can see who I want he was livid had to block him "
oh oh. What a weirdo. block him and NEVER think of unblocking him in the future. That is so weird and possessive of him. Scary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No experience with this but that’s a massive red flag.
He was so angry, I said we've met twice I'm a single lady I can see who I want he was livid had to block him
oh oh. What a weirdo. block him and NEVER think of unblocking him in the future. That is so weird and possessive of him. Scary"
myself and my wife had cam fun with a guy on here and it was good fun, but then he was messaging saying he wanted to move near to us and go on holiday with us and be in a relationship with her.
hahaha. soon got blocked. |
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"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. "
Yes we have had and we refused to change plans and see exactly what other people seem to see. A massive red flag.
We’ve avoided the guy ever since despite the first meet being a good one. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet.
Why did you tell him you have a meet? "
Because he wanted to come to mine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are some seriously scary stories on here of people who ruin it for all the genuine guys. I am lucky that when my wife and I used to play, thankfully, we never had any of these problems!!
Stay safe peeps, lots of idiots about !! |
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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. "
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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet.
"
I would not cancel and meet anybody other than each other at the end of the day if you want meeting somebody a fixed date is a fixed date why should somebody else feel that they get priority? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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over the years we've had quite a few like this and im clearly married its an insant block n fuck off i here to swing getting clingy is no part of that ..id hate to be a single woman on here in fact no i would not be a single woman on here to much crap to deal with mo wonder there aint to many single ladies on here ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. "
Sounds like you’ve had a lucky escape and thank goodness for that block button. But I also think you should report him. Begs the question who else has he thought he owns? And what might he do if he knew where you or other ladies live if you /others hosted? That could get dangerous. It’s not ok and it never will be |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
It's a swingers site for sexual encounters with whomever we feel free (agreed of course) to do so with, he clearly can't handle that. Tell him to piss off!
We've experienced this with one guy who was 'angry' (his words) that we were meeting someone that night other than him. Cried with laughter in all honesty, what a jerk! |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. "
It wasn't right for him to behave like that. He tried to coerce you into doing something you didn't want to do. |
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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. "
If he’s getting jealous I don’t think this lifestyle is for him |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet.
If he’s getting jealous I don’t think this lifestyle is for him"
Do you think that's what it is jealousy |
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I think maybe, as a single man, he saw his only possible partner vanishing into the sunset in the arms of Sir Lancelot.
Not excusing the behaviour at all though. If there were women aplenty, particularly as attractive as you, he may have been less possessive.
Like I say, no excuse and he should perhaps try elsewhere in his search. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people really don't grasp the concept of swinging do they.
Hope you have a great meet."
Oh, I think they do grasp it
They want to be the swinger, but they want you to just meet them
Fuck. That. |
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"I think its a natural thing for some to become attached to people they meet its an physical thing "
Um no! Even if they do become attached, that does not give anyone a right to say that you cannot meet other people. Especially when on a swinging site....
Sorry you had to go through that OP, sounds very much like you had a lucky escape
MJ x |
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I had a meet once where the guy actually said to me ‘I own you now’
I felt hugely uncomfortable. He messaged the next day asking me for a huge favour. I blocked him but just felt horrible about it all and left fab |
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"No experience with this but that’s a massive red flag.
Absolutely a big red flag anyone acting like that "
That's quite frightening when you think about it. Very controlling. I pity his next victim |
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When we first joined the site and were talking to a few guys for a meet with H on her own, there was one guy who caught her eye that she began talking to and right from the beginning he tried to push boundaries. We keep everything strictly sexual on here, we save the romance for eachother. He was basically pushing for more of a girlfriend relationship from her. She reminded him that she has a partner and so that will always be off the table, to which his back down and so she continued to talk to him.
Not long after, he began to ask who else she is talking to and if she is seeing anyone else or making plans to meet anyone else. She told him yes, she is talking to a few others and yes, she has a meet planned. He outright told her that she is making him jealous and he doesn’t want her seeing other guys as he “does not want to go where other guys are going”.
I pointed out to him that I am her partner of many years, we share a home and I life together and even I am not trying to control who she can and can’t talk to or see, especially as she is on here to trying new things and experiences. So why would she want to limit herself to just him, does he think he is that special?
He never did end up getting a meet with her after that. |
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"When we first joined the site and were talking to a few guys for a meet with H on her own, there was one guy who caught her eye that she began talking to and right from the beginning he tried to push boundaries. We keep everything strictly sexual on here, we save the romance for eachother. He was basically pushing for more of a girlfriend relationship from her. She reminded him that she has a partner and so that will always be off the table, to which his back down and so she continued to talk to him.
Not long after, he began to ask who else she is talking to and if she is seeing anyone else or making plans to meet anyone else. She told him yes, she is talking to a few others and yes, she has a meet planned. He outright told her that she is making him jealous and he doesn’t want her seeing other guys as he “does not want to go where other guys are going”.
I pointed out to him that I am her partner of many years, we share a home and I life together and even I am not trying to control who she can and can’t talk to or see, especially as she is on here to trying new things and experiences. So why would she want to limit herself to just him, does he think he is that special?
He never did end up getting a meet with her after that."
You can understand why some of these guys and women are single. Who would want a control freak x |
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Years ago when I was single, I had a meet who got the hump if I met others. I stopped meeting him as it was just too much drama all the time.
If you've discussed being exclusive fair enough.,otherwise it's a red flag for sure.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No experience with this but that’s a massive red flag.
Absolutely a big red flag anyone acting like that
That's quite frightening when you think about it. Very controlling. I pity his next victim"
Experienced this last year same after two meets and definitely more aware put me off socials still has, just block and report best way OP  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think maybe, as a single man, he saw his only possible partner vanishing into the sunset in the arms of Sir Lancelot.
Not excusing the behaviour at all though. If there were women aplenty, particularly as attractive as you, he may have been less possessive.
Like I say, no excuse and he should perhaps try elsewhere in his search. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Quite frankly, if I’m ever lucky enough to meet a Lady on here regularly, I’d find it a bit of a turn on thinking about what she’s getting up to on meets with others! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Concerning there's guys like this on here getting meets! I can barely get a reply
And women.
It's not just guys who do this. "
I'm sure that's true and I'm in no way suggesting it's men only, fab has alot of strange people on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Concerning there's guys like this on here getting meets! I can barely get a reply
And women.
It's not just guys who do this.
I'm sure that's true and I'm in no way suggesting it's men only, fab has alot of strange people on it."
The mask of sanity drops pretty quickly on the Internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's rude to ask some one to cancel a meet they've arranged with someone else and obviously it would be rude for you to cancel.
The dilemma we all face with so many time wasters is, will the new date show up? Because it would be really annoying if they didn't and you turned down the reliable meet.
No chance of having both at the same time? |
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"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. "
I’ve had it in the past on 1 or 2 occasions where I’ve felt and got the impression that the woman I was seeing was starting to get attached but not had it where they’ve got angry about me meeting others.
However, I have heard from other women about some guys they’re seeing doing so
It is strange the concept some people have and the idea of what is acceptable behaviour on here and in general
X |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Had similar in regular dating world even when we’ve agreed to both see others. I think also some people are just really bad at using a calendar and planning and because they are disorganised and often do things last minute, they expect others to change committed plans to accommodate them. Bad calendar person is a big red flag for me, it might sound harsh but they end up transferring their own chaos onto me ! |
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"This is exactly the reason we are scared of seeing single guy or girl, hears these kind of stories so many times. Doesn't help the genuine single swingers sadly."
Don’t tar us all with the same brush. Lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one owns us single ladies, some men need to realise this. We will meet whoever we want. I was talking to someone on here recently and reading between the lines he basically said he wanted me for himself and for me to not talk to or meet anyone else. A red flag right there too. I told him that wasn't going to happen and I blocked him x |
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By *killsMan
over a year ago
Never Never Land |
"Today I had words with a meet I'd seen twice, he wasn't happy I have a meet today and wanted me to cancel for him. I refused as I'd already planned it and didn't think this was fair of him to ask of me Has anyone else had a meet who thought they owned you? Or had someone ask you to cancel a meet for them? Why do people think its ok to decide who you meet. "
Sadly this isn’t just the case with guys. There are a fair amount of women who are just as possessive.
It soon sucks all the fun out of the site and makes you wonder if it’s worth it.
My advice is to just keep going and leave them behind. |
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Just to balance this up last year I had an experience with a woman I had met 3 times take offence to a new verification appearing on my profile. She went full on ‘Glen Close’ making all sorts of false accusations about me. At one point she threatened me with her talking to the police which I called her bluff on as I had plenty material on my phone to shoot her lies down in flames. Overall a scary and sobering experience |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just to balance this up last year I had an experience with a woman I had met 3 times take offence to a new verification appearing on my profile. She went full on ‘Glen Close’ making all sorts of false accusations about me. At one point she threatened me with her talking to the police which I called her bluff on as I had plenty material on my phone to shoot her lies down in flames. Overall a scary and sobering experience "
Wow that sounds horrific, glad you're ok now definitely makes you rethink things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to balance this up last year I had an experience with a woman I had met 3 times take offence to a new verification appearing on my profile. She went full on ‘Glen Close’ making all sorts of false accusations about me. At one point she threatened me with her talking to the police which I called her bluff on as I had plenty material on my phone to shoot her lies down in flames. Overall a scary and sobering experience "
I was chatting to someone in the club in Glasgow about someone and she said that a certain lady on here went full on mad that hevmet me because she'd seen my verification to him. Apparently she thought they were "exclusive" but they weren't. So you're right that women can be just as bad as men x |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Just to balance this up last year I had an experience with a woman I had met 3 times take offence to a new verification appearing on my profile. She went full on ‘Glen Close’ making all sorts of false accusations about me. At one point she threatened me with her talking to the police which I called her bluff on as I had plenty material on my phone to shoot her lies down in flames. Overall a scary and sobering experience "
It’s not in common , there are some very problematic women, just as I’m sure there are men, best bet it really get to know them fully before having sex, it’s that that triggers the problems in my experience,
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've meet some truly lovely guys off here ones I still see, I won't let that one bad apple ruin my experience of fab. you leave the one bad one and move as suitednbooted said. There are plenty of decent people here |
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We absolutely agree that there’s no place for jealousy, ownership or any type of revenge or retribution in swinging.
But, to balance things out a little, we met on Fab and eventually became a couple, choosing partners together.
We have many couples as friends and there is independent chat between us all but there’s also a huge amount of trust.
We know that if anyone started to ‘feel’ to much and get possessive that we’d have the talk and decide how to deal with it.
Perhaps we’ve just been lucky. |
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"Just to balance this up last year I had an experience with a woman I had met 3 times take offence to a new verification appearing on my profile. She went full on ‘Glen Close’ making all sorts of false accusations about me. At one point she threatened me with her talking to the police which I called her bluff on as I had plenty material on my phone to shoot her lies down in flames. Overall a scary and sobering experience
it's a wonder it didn't put you off this site, pleased it hasn't though. Most of us are sane, well, almost sane  "
She had issues, which unfortunately I hadn’t picked up on. I very rarely have a bad experience and have met some amazing sexy women on fab. I love it |
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I had a similar experience on here as a single guy about 8 years ago.I had met and played with a married couple on 2 or 3 occasions and they expected me to cancel a meet I had arranged with somebody else.I told them that I wasn't prepared to do that and received some abuse back.I immediately blocked them and I think they left Fab shortly after that.Some people simply can't or won't understand swinging.
Mike |
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I do think though, that some of the reactions from people (if delved into) although not necessarily justified, can be understood.
Yes swinging is swinging, however if you've got someone telling you you're "special", making you feel "special", bigging you up like you're important to them and then whoosh, you're blown out for someone else it can stir things.
Before myself and my ex were "officially" a thing he was working in France. Told me the day he was due back, that he couldn't wait to see me and all that shit so I arranged the day off work, was my only day off in 2 weeks.
Day came and I was all excited. Asked him his ETA. He then proceeded to tell me he was getting to another ladies house at around 5pm and they were heading to a club. I was fucking fuming and really bloody upset.
He HADN'T actually at any point told me he was coming to mine that night, but at the same time the way he spoke (couldn't wait to see me) led me to think that was the case.
So yeah, as much as there are people who can't seem to regulate their emotions or behave graciously, sometimes it's understandable.
If he was to tell just his side, people would say I'm a loon. If I was to tell just my side, people would say he was playing me and stringing me along.
So I guess all I'm saying, is watch your words and don't lead people to think they're important to you if they're not. |
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"We had a guy that we’d messaged a couple of times and not even met get all possessive and jealous because we’d updated our status that we were going to a club one evening.
He holds a very special place in our hearts the poor insecure darling.
He’s probably still plotting our deaths "
That's unreal..some strange beings on this site lol...did make me giggle though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to meet a guy regular on fab but it got too bad. He wanted me to meet up everyday.wanted me to even meet hes wife he was separated from but not divorced. Got jealous of my other meets.he even asked what my feelings were for him. None whatsoever. I stopped meeting him and he doesnt message me now thank goodness. |
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By *andyladMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
I had a couple who did this to me. A meet was arranged a week in hand and they messaged me telling me to cancel and they will come around instead. I politely said sorry but we can meet again I’m just meeting new people tonight new experiences. Low and behold they were driving passed my house every night for 3 weeks to try and catch me meeting others! Instant block and report |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The old saying, "There's nowt so queer as folk"
Precisely why we venture off to the likes of Glasgow and Blackpool for meets, opposed to near home, keeps the drama away from our doorstep. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No experience with this but that’s a massive red flag.
He was so angry, I said we've met twice I'm a single lady I can see who I want he was livid had to block him "
Block and delete my lovely. Asap! Sounds like a right arsehat! |
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