FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What am i doing wrong
What am i doing wrong
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By *untime40 OP Man
over a year ago
Greenwich |
I find someone i like on here read the profile and take onboard the comments
Then i send a polite message introducing my self ect then nothing not even a polite no thank you
Ive updated my profile i cant thi k of anything else to put on there now
And i know my pics are crap i will be updating them in the near future any ideas  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not necessarily you man. There are many reasons why they may not message you back. Remember that males on here saturate most of the profiles and so couples or women tend to get many messages daily, so please be patient when seeking a meet. |
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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago
Buckley North Wales |
Sadly we have to echo the core sentiment. Fab is saturated with single men. Some are charming and eloquent, others have all the charm and wit of a well rotted zombie. By far the best way to get a meet is to go to a club or social.
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
It might be the case that the only thing you are doing wrong is not being patient enough and having too high expectations, it's not always that something is wrong with your profile. It takes months to get your profile tweaked and right then months more before you even get chatting. reading the forums a lot will start to give you an idea of what is liked and disliked in profiles, the ratio of males to couples and females makes it very difficult to stand out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The truth is this ....small hairy cock pic...theres no point going further
And dickheads like you need to fuck off
 a bit unnecessary
And what she said is ? Double standards .."
The OP asked for advice in his profile. You just insulted them for no reason. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"The truth is this ....small hairy cock pic...theres no point going further
And dickheads like you need to fuck off
a bit unnecessary"
You see I never get this, people are unnecessarily nasty when there is no need and people don't call that but, but call out a reaction to the nasty post |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Ok can I remind people, being nasty to someone for the hell of it is not allowed on the forum. If you can't help someone out when they ask for advice without doing that then please avoid this type of thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If your profile is a realistic and accurate description of you, reflects your personality and illustrates precisely what you’re looking for and what you have to offer then you aren’t doing anything wrong OP. Just because no one has replied to you doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong it just means the people you’ve messaged didn’t want to reply to you. No one can please everyone and you shouldn’t try to change anything about yourself in an attempt to please more people, eventually your true colours will come to the fore anyway. Just keep being yourself and eventually you’ll find your perfect match. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your bio is just a list of what you want. It doesn’t tell me anything about you, or show your personality.
I wouldn’t read a message from you based on your pics alone.
I think women want to see body pics too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your bio is just a list of what you want. It doesn’t tell me anything about you, or show your personality.
I wouldn’t read a message from you based on your pics alone.
I think women want to see body pics too. "
I think his bio tells us everything we need to know about him.....sometimes you can tell a lot about a person by what’s not in their profile as well as what is... |
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Just because you like the looks of someone doesn't mean they have to like the looks of you.
I think you are one of many that join thinking your entitled to something.
If want to understand the scene, use this site as a learning tool and maybe try out social events and clubs. |
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By *rab74Man
over a year ago
Huntingdon |
One comment on your profile is that it's not great grammatically. I know we don't want War and Peace on here, but I know a number of women whose first check on "Will we click mentally?" is "Can they write in complete sentences, with capital letters and punctuation?" If your profile looks like this, I suspect your messages will too.
Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not saying it's my opinion - it's something a number of women have actually told me. So if you're wondering why you aren't getting replies, consider that your written English might be holding you back.
And I'm afraid that goes double for anything kink-related. The important part of kink is what happens between your ears, and I'm afraid your writing style is going to be used as a benchmark for your attention to detail in other things.
It doesn't change the fact that single men are ten a penny on here, of course. Expect that most messages won't be replied to, or perhaps even read. But with the odds against you, you need to do better if you want to stand out.
Also you're talking about a lot of kink here, and it looks like you switch. Anyone thinking about playing with you is going to want to know how that dynamic works for you. Do you want to switch with another person, or meet some people who you always dom and others who you always sub to? That's important, and if you don't (or can't) say then you're a risk they may not want to take. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Never understand why people say it's due to the amount of guys this has nothing to do with it.because everyone's looking for some kind of connection and chemistry and possibly a fantasy which they'd like to explore if their isn't an attraction wether within the bio or images then adjust be creative even in the approach. |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
You've been given some really good advice already so i wont repeat it all. As has been said, if your profile is a true reflection of who you are and what you are looking for then don't change it just to try yo please others, just be patient and only message people who you are sure looking for the same things. |
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By *untime40 OP Man
over a year ago
Greenwich |
"The truth is this ....small hairy cock pic...theres no point going further
And dickheads like you need to fuck off
a bit unnecessary"
Bit strong that what have i ever done to offend you men take offence to body shaming as much as women do and the comment is well out of order |
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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
"I find someone i like on here read the profile and take onboard the comments
Then i send a polite message introducing my self ect then nothing not even a polite no thank you
Ive updated my profile i cant thi k of anything else to put on there now
And i know my pics are crap i will be updating them in the near future any ideas "
Sometimes it's not the profile it's people having an overwhelming amount of messages as struggling to reply to everybody I would always say don't take it personally it's a free site at the end of the day and just enjoy the forums |
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By *untime40 OP Man
over a year ago
Greenwich |
"To the OP I think your profile is fine, says what you want out of the site. You won't please everyone so I wouldn't try Maybe add a few more different pics so people can get an idea what the rest of you is like
Good luck"
Thank you  |
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By *untime40 OP Man
over a year ago
Greenwich |
"Your bio is just a list of what you want. It doesn’t tell me anything about you, or show your personality.
I wouldn’t read a message from you based on your pics alone.
I think women want to see body pics to
o. "
I am a bit ashamed at the moment i have put on a bit of covid weight where i ve not bsen able to go boxing im starting to get back in shape slowly |
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By *untime40 OP Man
over a year ago
Greenwich |
"Just because you like the looks of someone doesn't mean they have to like the looks of you.
I think you are one of many that join thinking your entitled to something.
If want to understand the scene, use this site as a learning tool and maybe try out social events and clubs.
Hi i have been doing this for 7 years now im not new to it unfortunately the other site i used closed down i lost the connections i had on there i go doging a lot and also go to the nudist spas i like it there there is no judgments "
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By *untime40 OP Man
over a year ago
Greenwich |
"Your bio is just a list of what you want. It doesn’t tell me anything about you, or show your personality.
I wouldn’t read a message from you based on your pics alone.
I think women want to see body pics too. "
Ok thanks i will try and add a bit more personal bits in |
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By *untime40 OP Man
over a year ago
Greenwich |
"You've been given some really good advice already so i wont repeat it all. As has been said, if your profile is a true reflection of who you are and what you are looking for then don't change it just to try yo please others, just be patient and only message people who you are sure looking for the same things. "
Thank you i was just trying to be honest im just a go with the flow guy i like making people happy even if i get nothing in return |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"I find someone i like on here read the profile and take onboard the comments
Then i send a polite message introducing my self ect then nothing not even a polite no thank you
Ive updated my profile i cant thi k of anything else to put on there now
And i know my pics are crap i will be updating them in the near future any ideas "
You’re probably message #352 that day and you could be charm personified, the recipient is probably just sick to the back teeth of messages and couldn’t care less.
Welcome to Fab.
If you can’t genuinely think of a reason that it’s you, and you do have to be honest with yourself, then it almost certainly isn’t. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I find someone i like on here read the profile and take onboard the comments
Then i send a polite message introducing my self ect then nothing not even a polite no thank you
Ive updated my profile i cant thi k of anything else to put on there now
And i know my pics are crap i will be updating them in the near future any ideas "
Op I suggest
Dress smartly take few pictures from different angles an appearance is an opportunity to open doors if you're concerned about the face crop image even change theme of the image as some look great if the light captures well
Good luck pal  |
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