I would imagine it would sound like one of those pods from the film Alien, that opens up just before the creature inside jumps on your face to impregnate you!

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By *esthetic21Man over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Creaky door hinge

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Glad this struck a cord and made it light hearted as sometimes gets to serious loving the wooden ruler analogy

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

I think a Leslie Phillips style ‘Ding Dong’ or ‘He-llooo’ would be appropriate.

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

Mine plays the theme from Thunderbirds...

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By *ebjonnsonMan over a year ago

Maldon

Kook and the Gang -

Get down on it!

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By *ebjonnsonMan over a year ago

Maldon

Kool !!!!!!

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By *ear in the chairMan over a year ago

yeah there

Star Wars intro music

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By *ssexhamptonMan over a year ago

Rayleigh

If every cock had a different sound and you found yourself in a packed pub where a beautiful half naked woman walked in. Imagine the cacophony.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cartoon boing would be great

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By *Ci LutherMan over a year ago

Cumalot

What about like a ‘Ring’ door bell

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A sort of growling noise like Sid James did in the carry on films when he saw hot fit woman.

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Some dicks should be accompanied by that klaxxon when you get something wrong on Family Fortunes. Or at least that's what my survey of 100 people concluded.

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By *he Silver FuxMan over a year ago

Uttoxeter

The sound of erect penises in clubs is the frantic jangling of locker key and fob…

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple over a year ago

Watford

[Removed by poster at 13/01/22 18:32:02]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The classic Nokia ring tone

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By *ig_eric_tionMan over a year ago

IPSWICH

The dukes of hazard horn.

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple over a year ago

Watford

Hang on, I'm worried now. Isn't it supposed to make a noise then?

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

It's got to be the Six Million Dollar Man sound effect.

Who doesn't want a rock solid bionic cock?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OyIBuF73PQ

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"I think a Leslie Phillips style ‘Ding Dong’ or ‘He-llooo’ would be appropriate. "

Actually it's pronounced as three words. Air+her+lair

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By *ewfie02Couple over a year ago

Ayrshire

That could be really embarrassing!

Should a pussy also make a noise when it is wet?

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By *assie101Woman over a year ago

Kent

"That could be really embarrassing!

Should a pussy also make a noise when it is wet?"

It does or is that just me??!

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple over a year ago

Exeter

The old Windows log on jingle.

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Inernet Dial-up lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Imagine it was opposite and sounded like a purring cat that got louder the closer it gets to ejaculation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No noise at all. Just wink at you.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"That could be really embarrassing!

Should a pussy also make a noise when it is wet?"

A babbling book sounds inviting, or a chorus of Sirens.

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By *ldbutrandyMan over a year ago

West Midlands

"That could be really embarrassing!

Should a pussy also make a noise when it is wet?"

Waves crashing on the shore ....

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"That could be really embarrassing!

Should a pussy also make a noise when it is wet?"

Pussy farts?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Kool-Aid man’s catchphrase as he busts through a wall, OH YEAH!!!

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By *imbo59seMan over a year ago

North Norfolk area

Bugle call...... Reveille

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/22 20:38:26]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Microwave ping obvs

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By *ootprints1629Couple over a year ago

somewhere in moray

I reckon a springy door stop would be a great noise. Lol

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By *urplechesterCouple over a year ago

chester

You know the instrumental part of the song ‘live and let die’ by Wings

that would be perfect haha! Miss pc

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

It should bleep

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mine does it's a Barry white number, can't get enough of your love baby....lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Didn’t go through them all but I’d want a carton spring noise like a bong

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

Mine already makes a sound

LvM

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Penis: should sound like the start of The Muppet Show

Vagina: Mana Mana Muppet song

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hmm a noise from retro Mario game

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By *hisisntpofMan over a year ago

bristol

The music from jaws when hes about to strike

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By *entative_steps7781Couple over a year ago

Home

How you doin? And yes in Joey's voice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Universal studios intro … but this special one

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hp6pDzoLka0&autoplay=1

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lightsaber noise

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By *mwirralMan over a year ago

wirral

"That could be really embarrassing!

Should a pussy also make a noise when it is wet?

It does or is that just me??!

Love the sound of a wet pussy

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By *ornyandachingCouple over a year ago

Middlesbrough

When you cum it should shout “Yepee Kai aye morherfucker”

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By *avey daveMan over a year ago

Rochdale

dudududidu up n dumdidum down haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A screaming goat noise

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By *ivinity99Man over a year ago

Castle Douglas

Any sound effect from Tom and Jerry would do!

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By *rthur WrightusMan over a year ago

Round the Bend

As on the trains, . , 'stand clear of the doors'

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By *ootprints1629Couple over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"Hmm a noise from retro Mario game

It's a me Mario!

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By *imb8486Man over a year ago

Weston super mare

Jackpot noise from a one arm bandit machine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm thinking of the alarm the train is about to cross the road.

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By *xydadbodMan over a year ago

Milton keynes

80's transformer cartoon sound effect with an activation code where you have to shout autobots or decepticons depending if you're feeling good or bad lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A military bugle call

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By *r.MorningstarMan over a year ago

Melton Mowbray

Like a double dealer bus letting off its air brakes

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By *inAndTonic21Couple over a year ago

Merseyside

Should be like a whoosh when a plane takes off

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By *ister_ee_1981Man over a year ago

Sunniest Exeter...

In the voice of KITT from KnightRider...

"Mister_ee, I have detected elevated blood flow coinciding with the arrival of that *insert hair colour* lady. Do you need a hand to reduce blood flow?"

Sorry, sounded funnier in my head!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Dixsie horn .....

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By *ooking4othersMan over a year ago

Here ...

Beep ... beep ... beeep .... BEEEEPPPP!!

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Light sabre sound. Every time you moved it. Imagine the noise when 2 guys cross swords

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By *reenleavesCouple over a year ago

North Wales

Windows '95 log on / off sounds for cock up and down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Like a Crow early in the morning

"cock a doodle doo"

J xx

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple over a year ago

liverpool

Boing.

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By *antra MassageMan over a year ago

South Side.

A stallion whinniying.

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By *olden PoleMan over a year ago

Kent

The Darth Vader breathing noise once fully erect.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As it pops out "helloooo" in the style of Jim from Friday Night Dinner

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By *xTwo4FunTimesxXCouple over a year ago

chester

Bing bong ..... like an Airport tannoy noise.

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By *ithintemptationsCouple over a year ago

plymouth

Andrew biting his nails

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By *TJxComboMan over a year ago

birmingham

Mario grabbing a mushroom

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lol,

Best reply yet!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How you doin? And yes in Joey's voice."

That made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Strauss' 'Sunrise' - the opening music from the movie 2001.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"A lightsaber noise

After it's gone hard and is being waived around the boobies.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Windows '95 log on / off sounds for cock up and down

And that horrible 'dunk' sound when the teeth catch on the ol' banjo string.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

The same noise one of those spring door stops makes if you flick it

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By *he Cram-BetweensCouple over a year ago

A Club or Your Bedroom!

Mines starting to creak a bit.... not sure if its age or wear though

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By *ustBeingNosey69Man over a year ago

East Midlands

Like a transformer changing from robot to a car

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By *lwaysonmymind!Man over a year ago

Middlesbrough

It should DING like a microwave to let you know that lunch is ready

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By *ayskiMan over a year ago

Leeds

Yello - Oh yeah.

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By *m389Man over a year ago

Magherafelt

Lightsaber turning on sound!!!!!

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By *isurreyguy2019Man over a year ago

surrey

A quagmire style 'Giggity'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Herrrres Johnny!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm absolutely howling at these answers

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By *ayskiMan over a year ago

Leeds

Didgeridoo martian attack sound from War of the Worlds would be sexy.

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By *hil most chillMan over a year ago

South East & Europe

People have beat me to it but I came to say either the Windows 95 startup sound, or the mushroom power up sound from Super Mario.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

“Beam me up, Scotty”

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By *bostCouple over a year ago

glasgow

B Doing. End of discussion.

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By *rFunBoyMan over a year ago

Longridge

"Wooden ruler being sprung against a table. "

Take it you watched Benny Hill too?

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By *ilverjagMan over a year ago

swansea

"Cock crowing ?? "

You mean like, "Cock a doodle do, Cock a doodle do!" that noise could be a very good response call to a sexy lady who may be making a noise like, "Any cock'll do, any cock'll do!"

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By *issyfaggotfayeTV/TS over a year ago

Bolton

Me in my cage are safe then

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By *usciouslips201Couple over a year ago

North Wales

The key change chorus of "You raise me up".

(You know, the part where the Westlife boys get up off their barstools!)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everytime i go hard i play the clock music, loudly, from the words and numbers quiz "Countdown", an afternoon teatime treat for all.