FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Offended??
Offended??
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By *oson-Blue OP Couple
over a year ago
North Kent |
What words in the swinging world offend you?? What don’t you like being referred too as and why??
I’ve read a lot of threads today where certain words keep coming up and people are questioning them and becoming a bit defensive.
Words such as unicorn, milf, older woman, cougar seem to be provoking a lot of reaction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slut.
I got a message from a newbie and his profile said looking for a slut.
Totally out. There's no going back from that one "
This, had a message saying hi slut, so disrespectful it was from a newbie too |
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By *igfun911Man
over a year ago
East Lancashire |
"Being told I am a "lucky guy" for being with Alexis.
Why does that upset/offend you? "
Yep also interested why this would offend? If someone said that about a partner I'd agree and take it as a compliment. |
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"Being told I am a "lucky guy" for being with Alexis.
Why does that upset/offend you?
Yep also interested why this would offend? If someone said that about a partner I'd agree and take it as a compliment. "
No-one has ever said I'm lucky to have Mr KC (which I bloody well am, by the way). It seems to roughly translate to "punching above your weight there, pal" and all the connotations that brings. The people sending the messages can only see what I (Mrs KC) look like (and then only some of me), yet they've decided he's lucky to have me? I might be the über-bitch from hell, for all they know  |
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By *oson-Blue OP Couple
over a year ago
North Kent |
"Being told I am a "lucky guy" for being with Alexis.
Why does that upset/offend you?
Suggest that I am "punching above my weight" is the first thing that springs to mind."
To me it suggests they are slightly envious of you having such a gorgeous partner, but that’s just my opinion
Ms  |
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"Slut.
I got a message from a newbie and his profile said looking for a slut.
Totally out. There's no going back from that one "
It is not a word I would use but I do know several wives who love it and own it. |
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By *oson-Blue OP Couple
over a year ago
North Kent |
"Slut.
I got a message from a newbie and his profile said looking for a slut.
Totally out. There's no going back from that one
It is not a word I would use but I do know several wives who love it and own it."
The only person who calls me slut is the mr, he knows me he knows it turns me on sometimes but if a stranger used it before they even got to know me or called me a slut on a first message I would find it pretty offensive  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slut.
I got a message from a newbie and his profile said looking for a slut.
Totally out. There's no going back from that one
It is not a word I would use but I do know several wives who love it and own it."
Mrs NE loves it when I say it during sex. If a random person said it to her they’d probably end up eating through a straw |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Slut.
I got a message from a newbie and his profile said looking for a slut.
Totally out. There's no going back from that one "
Yes, it's a bit different if it is between people who know each other, and people like me often like it, but to a real woman from a stranger I think that most (real) women would agree? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m attracted to black men, but don’t like it when I’m asked if I like ‘bbc’. That’s too fetishy for me.
I’ve been referred to as a milf because of my age and had people comment on pictures saying they love my ‘mum tum’. I find it super annoying because I don’t have children, I’m just fat and old!
Hate being referred to as a slut too |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
Personally I don't get offended by anything anyone says to me such as hun, babe, and I might be shallow but I like being referred to like a sex object on the rare occasions it happens BUT I do sometimes cringe at some terms people still use in the forums therefore they must use in messages that are aimed at females and couples, I think it boils down to respect and it includes the way you converse. |
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"Daddy or mummy does nothing for me. It's abit weird but each to their own.
Mrs x"
I agree this makes me feel a bit ick.
I got a message from a guy 10 years younger than me referring to me as 'baby girl' and that made me feel the same way. |
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"Being told I am a "lucky guy" for being with Alexis.
Why does that upset/offend you? "
Because why is it luck, is it not that they met and had loads in common and over time married and then discovered they have a passion for this fun. That’s not luck. PS I hate your a lucky Guy too. |
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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago
CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly) |
I have amongst other things been called ugly.
And I'm too fat to be on a swingers site.
Over the years I have reported quite a few and blocked after reporting. Some messages have resorted me to tears, we aren't here for abuse, and like hubbs says we have had hundreds of meets over the years, so ignore the ignorant messengers  xxxxx Suzi |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
We don't get offended. people who are disrespectful just get blocked. People who are disrespectful when we are out, get told. We speak our minds, some are offended by that. Being offended is a very wide perspective. What offends one person may not offend another. To old in the tooth to be offended. Call us what you like. Some say we are great, some say we are not. Do we care?? Certainly not. We care about the nice people in the World.  |
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The words slut or slag. Tells us the person has no respect for Mrs Brum before they have either spoken to her or met her. In the same context we never use the words when contacting other members.
Also, we don’t you the word unicorn, as we know it offends many single females. |
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By *oson-Blue OP Couple
over a year ago
North Kent |
"BBW.
I get a lot of those messages.
I’m just a person with a body like everyone else!"
I’m glad somebody else bought this up
I really don’t like being referred to as a BBW, each to their own!!
I guess we all have our own definitions of what offends and what doesn’t and it also depends on the context of which it’s being said
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Offended is too strong a word but getting introductory messages from couples that just say, facepic and phone number now.
The only time I have been offended on here was as part of a Facepic Friday thread. I sent a pic to a very well known and verified couple who had started the thread but did not honour the spirit of the game. Rather than send a pic in return they replied to say that I might have been hotter if I wasn't Irish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Offended is too strong a word but getting introductory messages from couples that just say, facepic and phone number now.
The only time I have been offended on here was as part of a Facepic Friday thread. I sent a pic to a very well known and verified couple who had started the thread but did not honour the spirit of the game. Rather than send a pic in return they replied to say that I might have been hotter if I wasn't Irish. "
 that's awful !! |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"Being told I am a "lucky guy" for being with Alexis.
Why does that upset/offend you?
Suggest that I am "punching above my weight" is the first thing that springs to mind.
To me it suggests they are slightly envious of you having such a gorgeous partner, but that’s just my opinion
Ms "
We get loads of messages telling us how gorgeous or stunning Alexis is and we always say thank you and take the compliment as it is given. The "lucky guy" comment is not aimed at Alexis is suggesting that in some way I should be thankful for being with her yet they know nothing about us, what we are like or how we come to be together. Alexis could be lucky to have me but never once have we had a message from a female saying "you are a lucky woman" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not offended as such just more exasperation, when people say things like ‘i’ve never had sex with a black woman’ or ‘whats black pussy like?’
I just think to myself how can you be so obtuse? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are a few terms I don't like, especially when people are being over familiar on a first message and assuming they are talking to Ginge, but they don't really offend, they just piss me off a bit 
Like someone else put on here though I do find 'mmmmmmmm'a bit creepy.
Max |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not offended as such just more exasperation, when people say things like ‘i’ve never had sex with a black woman’ or ‘whats black pussy like?’
I just think to myself how can you be so obtuse? "
Before me and Ginge got together I was in an LTR with a mixed race woman and the amount of messages we got about 'I'd love to try black'was unbelievable.
One guy she actually met even updated his status with 'just potted the black', she wearily laughed it off, but I mean FFS! |
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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago
milton keynes |
See a lot of people saying they are offended by things like men saying they are looking for a mature or older woman..or the term cougar.. a lot of women are writing this about themselves on their profile though.. also isn't that a preference it's not an insult is it ? It's like all the profiles that state black cock only I'm not offended it's a preference |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See a lot of people saying they are offended by things like men saying they are looking for a mature or older woman..or the term cougar.. a lot of women are writing this about themselves on their profile though.. also isn't that a preference it's not an insult is it ? It's like all the profiles that state black cock only I'm not offended it's a preference "
I posted on a thread today about "mature women". The point was that a lot of younger guys talk about older women and approach them as a homogenous group. "Wanna fuck an older woman". I regularly get approached like that. That's not a preference that's objectification. And it feels crap. Some women are ok with cougar, some are not. Ask first? |
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"See a lot of people saying they are offended by things like men saying they are looking for a mature or older woman..or the term cougar.. a lot of women are writing this about themselves on their profile though.. also isn't that a preference it's not an insult is it ? It's like all the profiles that state black cock only I'm not offended it's a preference
I posted on a thread today about "mature women". The point was that a lot of younger guys talk about older women and approach them as a homogenous group. "Wanna fuck an older woman". I regularly get approached like that. That's not a preference that's objectification. And it feels crap. Some women are ok with cougar, some are not. Ask first?"
Even worse when they approach me as a "mature" woman or a MILF and the person messaging is the same age, very close to my age (36) or, on more than one occasion, OLDER!!!! No, I am NOT a mature woman if you are 45 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See a lot of people saying they are offended by things like men saying they are looking for a mature or older woman..or the term cougar.. a lot of women are writing this about themselves on their profile though.. also isn't that a preference it's not an insult is it ? It's like all the profiles that state black cock only I'm not offended it's a preference
I posted on a thread today about "mature women". The point was that a lot of younger guys talk about older women and approach them as a homogenous group. "Wanna fuck an older woman". I regularly get approached like that. That's not a preference that's objectification. And it feels crap. Some women are ok with cougar, some are not. Ask first?
Even worse when they approach me as a "mature" woman or a MILF and the person messaging is the same age, very close to my age (36) or, on more than one occasion, OLDER!!!! No, I am NOT a mature woman if you are 45 "
Lol. I haven't had that but I have had plenty of guys in their fifties calling me young lady and j want to tell them to fuck off! (I don't) |
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"See a lot of people saying they are offended by things like men saying they are looking for a mature or older woman..or the term cougar.. a lot of women are writing this about themselves on their profile though.. also isn't that a preference it's not an insult is it ? It's like all the profiles that state black cock only I'm not offended it's a preference
I posted on a thread today about "mature women". The point was that a lot of younger guys talk about older women and approach them as a homogenous group. "Wanna fuck an older woman". I regularly get approached like that. That's not a preference that's objectification. And it feels crap. Some women are ok with cougar, some are not. Ask first?
Even worse when they approach me as a "mature" woman or a MILF and the person messaging is the same age, very close to my age (36) or, on more than one occasion, OLDER!!!! No, I am NOT a mature woman if you are 45
Lol. I haven't had that but I have had plenty of guys in their fifties calling me young lady and j want to tell them to fuck off! (I don't)"
Obviously I am terribly insulted because they must be suggesting I look a lot older than my 36 years  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't think of much that anyone on here could say that would offend me unless it's something unkind said about me or my family by someone that I've met in person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See a lot of people saying they are offended by things like men saying they are looking for a mature or older woman..or the term cougar.. a lot of women are writing this about themselves on their profile though.. also isn't that a preference it's not an insult is it ? It's like all the profiles that state black cock only I'm not offended it's a preference
I posted on a thread today about "mature women". The point was that a lot of younger guys talk about older women and approach them as a homogenous group. "Wanna fuck an older woman". I regularly get approached like that. That's not a preference that's objectification. And it feels crap. Some women are ok with cougar, some are not. Ask first?
Even worse when they approach me as a "mature" woman or a MILF and the person messaging is the same age, very close to my age (36) or, on more than one occasion, OLDER!!!! No, I am NOT a mature woman if you are 45
Lol. I haven't had that but I have had plenty of guys in their fifties calling me young lady and j want to tell them to fuck off! (I don't)
Obviously I am terribly insulted because they must be suggesting I look a lot older than my 36 years "
I'm sure that's not true!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a word but I'm getting tired of people offering money to have sex with my wife.
That is bloody degrading hope you reported them? "
report them for what?? |
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"I was always told "offense is never given, it must be taken". You can choose to take offense to anything or nothing. "
I do like this.. I would perhaps add that alot of the messages or words that would offend are a simply a case of naivety on the message sender and a basic lack of understanding of the three rules;
-Respect
-Consent
-Don't be a dick...
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By *oson-Blue OP Couple
over a year ago
North Kent |
"Not a word but I'm getting tired of people offering money to have sex with my wife.
That is bloody degrading hope you reported them? report them for what?? "
Offering money in exchange for sex this isn’t a site for prostitution  |
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I don't let anything on here offend me. It's just words on a screen from someone who doesn't know me. Says more about them really and easily shows non compatability. So it's a win win for me.
In real life my friends or close family could never offend me. Anyone else I dont give a fuck what they think or say. Their opinion of me is none of my business.
Im in no way super confident in myself but I do know my worth! |
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By *elly72Woman
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Slut.
I got a message from a newbie and his profile said looking for a slut.
Totally out. There's no going back from that one
This, had a message saying hi slut, so disrespectful it was from a newbie too"
Think I had the same guy. Apparently all women like it  been on the site a couple of weeks and met 25 women and they all like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What words in the swinging world offend you?? What don’t you like being referred too as and why??
I’ve read a lot of threads today where certain words keep coming up and people are questioning them and becoming a bit defensive.
Words such as unicorn, milf, older woman, cougar seem to be provoking a lot of reaction. "
Slut or slag. They're horrible words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have absolutely no problem in being called a slut or slag it shows that they have read my profile.
I don't like Mummy or Daddy . I mean who is your Daddy is not sexy in my mind x |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I got called the fat twat in a collar in a club once
Hmmm yes I am overweight, yes I am in a collar and yes I can be a twat from time to time
However they hadn’t spoken to me, didn’t get to know me and made an assumption |
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"Being told I am a "lucky guy" for being with Alexis.
Why does that upset/offend you?
Because why is it luck, is it not that they met and had loads in common and over time married and then discovered they have a passion for this fun. That’s not luck. PS I hate your a lucky Guy too. "
You make your own luck anyway |
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"I have amongst other things been called ugly.
And I'm too fat to be on a swingers site.
Over the years I have reported quite a few and blocked after reporting. Some messages have resorted me to tears, we aren't here for abuse, and like hubbs says we have had hundreds of meets over the years, so ignore the ignorant messengers xxxxx Suzi"
To say that to you is total ignorance as they obviously dont know you , I dont know you but can see from your photos that your gorgeous |
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I don't like being referred to a BBW...its singling us larger ladies out..putting us under the fetish category, we are women that have the same assets as a slimmer woman...I always say you never see the term SBW (slim beautiful woman) and why is that? Because being slim is classed as socially acceptable where bigger ladies must be put Into category because only a certain amount of men/women will like them...it really pisses me of. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"BBW.
I get a lot of those messages.
I’m just a person with a body like everyone else!"
Yes!
I'm not a fetish to be ticked off thanks (and more complex with me as I'm currently rapidly losing weight thanks to a gastric bypass) |
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"I don't like being referred to a BBW...its singling us larger ladies out..putting us under the fetish category, we are women that have the same assets as a slimmer woman...I always say you never see the term SBW (slim beautiful woman) and why is that? Because being slim is classed as socially acceptable where bigger ladies must be put Into category because only a certain amount of men/women will like them...it really pisses me of. "
I see your point but I disagree massively. There are thousands of pro bbw threads on here - and almost every single one will have tossers (male and female) who feel it’s necessary to put slim ladies down in order to make larger ladies/themselves feel better.
Larger ladies are the societal norm these days - walking into any swingers club would confirm that too. Whilst larger ladies may have been a niche a few decades ago that’s definitely not the case now. |
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"Offensive comments about our pictures. It's only happened once or twice, but why do it? If you don't like them, that's fine with us. We just blocked and reported. "
Probably not what OP was asking about, but that's the only thing that's really offended. We can handle the rest (although, agreed mummy/daddy is a bit uch but we haven't had that, surprisingly!). |
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I think the problem is your never gonna get it right with everyone you message
I know black guys who like the term bbc I know black guys who hate it, I know guys who hate being called black and prefer coloured and I know ones who hate coloured and prefer black
Woman who like being called bbw and woman who don't
People who hate the word fat and people who prefer it to bbw or the likes
People who like the daddy/mummy stuff, People who hate it
So I simply don't take offence at any of it, if they say something I don't like or there message comes across in anyway uncomfortable or unlikeable to me, I simply block them as we are clearly not compatible, yet to the right person that message would land them a conversation or meet |
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By *oson-Blue OP Couple
over a year ago
North Kent |
"I think the problem is your never gonna get it right with everyone you message
I know black guys who like the term bbc I know black guys who hate it, I know guys who hate being called black and prefer coloured and I know ones who hate coloured and prefer black
Woman who like being called bbw and woman who don't
People who hate the word fat and people who prefer it to bbw or the likes
People who like the daddy/mummy stuff, People who hate it
So I simply don't take offence at any of it, if they say something I don't like or there message comes across in anyway uncomfortable or unlikeable to me, I simply block them as we are clearly not compatible, yet to the right person that message would land them a conversation or meet "
 |
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By *anddXXXCouple
over a year ago
London |
"Being told I am a "lucky guy" for being with Alexis.
Why does that upset/offend you?
Suggest that I am "punching above my weight" is the first thing that springs to mind.
To me it suggests they are slightly envious of you having such a gorgeous partner, but that’s just my opinion
Ms "
How we take it too. |
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By *ucianpoundCouple
over a year ago
Cap d’Agde, France |
"Slut.
I got a message from a newbie and his profile said looking for a slut.
Totally out. There's no going back from that one "
Yes it’s an abusive word but it’s use can depend on the context, after all there’s plenty of women and some men who are proud to wear their ‘slut’ collars.
In our dynamic we use the word as a term of endearment ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like being referred to a BBW...its singling us larger ladies out..putting us under the fetish category, we are women that have the same assets as a slimmer woman...I always say you never see the term SBW (slim beautiful woman) and why is that? Because being slim is classed as socially acceptable where bigger ladies must be put Into category because only a certain amount of men/women will like them...it really pisses me of. "
would you rather be called fatty or bbw ? Would a sbw prefer to be called slim ? Don’t be a snowflake x
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we don't like mum, aunt, sis, nurse etc as we aren't into role play
dislike mum or dad used in play coz we have kids
hate terms like whore slut and bitch
just be polite, keep it real and be respectful and we will be cool
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like being referred to a BBW...its singling us larger ladies out..putting us under the fetish category, we are women that have the same assets as a slimmer woman...I always say you never see the term SBW (slim beautiful woman) and why is that? Because being slim is classed as socially acceptable where bigger ladies must be put Into category because only a certain amount of men/women will like them...it really pisses me of. would you rather be called fatty or bbw ? Would a sbw prefer to be called slim ? Don’t be a snowflake x"
It's a thread about what people are offended by. It's a bit rich of you to call her a snowflake when she expressed her opinion. And then add X as though that makes it ok. |
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