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Party etiquette?!
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By *osine OP Couple
over a year ago
Weston-Super-Mare |
I was at a party new years eve and this guy got far to handsie without even asking.
I was sat in the corner of a couch so I had nowhere to move away to.
He looked up at me and asked me if I liked how he licked my nipples.
My response, very quietly... Well I was considering whether or not to punch you in the face for just helping yourself, as I'm waiting for hubby to get back from work.
I was suitable annoyed and freaked out.
I always thought it was ask before touch even in party situation.
Now I'm second guessing parties and I do love them.
Opinions? |
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They were completely out of line and you should have reported them to the part host.
Respect. Consent. Don't be a dick.
They failed all three.
You should have punched him in the face them stamped on his bollocks for good measure...  |
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"I was the host 
Thats what made me feel worse as they came with my best swinging buddies.
I truly didn't know what to do or say! "
It's difficult in those situations I don't know about you but I tend to freeze momentarily. He clearly has no idea how to behave and entirely misunderstood the situation, behaving in a very immature way. I actually did have to punch a guy at a party once, I'm sorry this happened to you. |
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"I was the host
Thats what made me feel worse as they came with my best swinging buddies.
I truly didn't know what to do or say! "
Need to have a word with your buddies and ask them to explain to him how out of order he was - oh and don't invite him again! |
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I would have screamed blue murder, slapped his face and stood up. Nobody touches me like that without my blessing. With you not moving and allowing it to happen he probably thinks he done nothing wrong. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"I was at a party new years eve and this guy got far to handsie without even asking.
I was sat in the corner of a couch so I had nowhere to move away to.
He looked up at me and asked me if I liked how he licked my nipples.
My response, very quietly... Well I was considering whether or not to punch you in the face for just helping yourself, as I'm waiting for hubby to get back from work.
I was suitable annoyed and freaked out.
I always thought it was ask before touch even in party situation.
Now I'm second guessing parties and I do love them.
Opinions? "
It is not as simple as that when adults play together. It is not always appropriate to ask direct questions, and often body language is a guide as long as one's partner is not under the influence of drink then it is best to leave things for another day.
Obviously we don't know the circumstances involved in the example given but any man should be able to tell whether a woman is responding to his being close, holding her hand etc before thinking he has a green light to go further. |
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Maybe he was not aware of the "rules"? and unless someone tells him will remain ignorant of them. Still... Sorry to hear your experience.
I'm not for punching anybody though especially in my home. |
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"Maybe he was not aware of the "rules"? and unless someone tells him will remain ignorant of them. Still... Sorry to hear your experience.
I'm not for punching anybody though especially in my home. "
The "rules" are the bog standard ones that govern any and all sexual encounters - you must have consent from whoever you are touching sexually. Anyone who doesn't understand that you can't just touch/accost another person without consent is frankly a dangerous person. |
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"Maybe he was not aware of the "rules"? and unless someone tells him will remain ignorant of them. Still... Sorry to hear your experience.
I'm not for punching anybody though especially in my home. "
What do you advise a woman to do if a man won't accept a verbal rebuff? |
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By *osine OP Couple
over a year ago
Weston-Super-Mare |
"Why didn't you loudly ask him to stop touching you or try to move away from him before he got in about your nipples?"
The initial post states why, I have no where to move to and I was in shock...honestly didn't know what to say.. I had never been in that situation before!!
Its easy to say why didn't you do this or that, until you are having to deal with it |
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By *osine OP Couple
over a year ago
Weston-Super-Mare |
"Maybe he was not aware of the "rules"? and unless someone tells him will remain ignorant of them. Still... Sorry to hear your experience.
I'm not for punching anybody though especially in my home. "
I'm not either, which is why I didn't (also I'm not a fighter)
Sex has very clear unspoken rules, don't ask, don't touch. I was just curious as to whether people felt a party situation was different to that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always be careful at who you invite into your home. Stick to organised parties at clubs or make sure you only let people in that you know already when hosting privately |
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By *osine OP Couple
over a year ago
Weston-Super-Mare |
"Always be careful at who you invite into your home. Stick to organised parties at clubs or make sure you only let people in that you know already when hosting privately "
He wasn't on the invite list, he came with another. Certainly a learning curve thats for sure.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im cold in these situations i will compleately lash out and let him and everyone else know and if it was severe ie tried to fuck me 100% get the police involved im also vey lucky that it would never go that far as hubs is my eyes a shut it down quickly ... i have zero time for those who think im a free piece of meat these people need calling out everytime and its not just guys ive seen plenty of women and couples do this at parties n clubs ..its gross and the olny way they will stop is by calling it out when it happens ....is sexual abuse /r.pe...
consent is everything .. |
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"Always be careful at who you invite into your home. Stick to organised parties at clubs or make sure you only let people in that you know already when hosting privately
He wasn't on the invite list, he came with another. Certainly a learning curve thats for sure.
"
maybe you best swing buddies should no longer be your best swinging buddies.
Clearly rhey let you down inviting unknown to your party and not letting you know |
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"Always be careful at who you invite into your home. Stick to organised parties at clubs or make sure you only let people in that you know already when hosting privately
He wasn't on the invite list, he came with another. Certainly a learning curve thats for sure.
"
How could he not be on the invite list if he was the host
R |
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By *Booboo-Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Always be careful at who you invite into your home. Stick to organised parties at clubs or make sure you only let people in that you know already when hosting privately
He wasn't on the invite list, he came with another. Certainly a learning curve thats for sure.
"
I'm sorry that this happened to you. I always wonder sometimes why females are overly cautious and why it's tough for guys but then I hear stuff like this and I understand completely 
It probably would have been a good night too if he hadn't done this.
Difficult to do anything about it now but I think you'll probably be a lot more strict on the Guestlist and no +1's just turning up. I think whoever he came with needs spoken to though.
Please don't let this twat spoil it for you and please continue to have fun hosting parties. |
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By *osine OP Couple
over a year ago
Weston-Super-Mare |
"Always be careful at who you invite into your home. Stick to organised parties at clubs or make sure you only let people in that you know already when hosting privately
He wasn't on the invite list, he came with another. Certainly a learning curve thats for sure.
How could he not be on the invite list if he was the host
R"
I was the host. sorry if I didn't make that clear |
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By *osine OP Couple
over a year ago
Weston-Super-Mare |
"Always be careful at who you invite into your home. Stick to organised parties at clubs or make sure you only let people in that you know already when hosting privately
He wasn't on the invite list, he came with another. Certainly a learning curve thats for sure.
I'm sorry that this happened to you. I always wonder sometimes why females are overly cautious and why it's tough for guys but then I hear stuff like this and I understand completely
It probably would have been a good night too if he hadn't done this.
Difficult to do anything about it now but I think you'll probably be a lot more strict on the Guestlist and no +1's just turning up. I think whoever he came with needs spoken to though.
Please don't let this twat spoil it for you and please continue to have fun hosting parties."
I am going to be having a convo with his (invited) female friend, as I have just found out he did the same to another guest of mine.
I thank everyone that has commented and feel I am ready know how to deal with any similar situation.
I shouldn't feel uncomfortable in any situation, especially in my own home...so it will be a strict behave or leave. |
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"Maybe he was not aware of the "rules"? and unless someone tells him will remain ignorant of them. Still... Sorry to hear your experience.
I'm not for punching anybody though especially in my home.
What do you advise a woman to do if a man won't accept a verbal rebuff?"
It's hard to say really and I'd guess depends on who is around and the individual situation. First thing would be to stay safe... Remove from the situation, ask for help... Defend yourself of course...
Don't misunderstand me... I'm not defending or justifying it at all and it's certainly not anything I've ever seen.. Just saying there are some pretty dim people out there who may not know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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problem being this is more wide spread than people think alot of people are too scared to make a fuss.... and ill say again this is not just a guy thing over the years we have seen women grope without asking and the same goes for some pushy couples ....theres no excuse consent is consent no matter were you are being in a swinging club is no excuse |
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