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Not really sure on a title
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Its not often I question myself.. Question why I do things the way I do... however I wanted to put something here in a genuine attempt to get to grips with something myself.
Whenever I have a meet its pretty much always little contact... all about me getting the cum as quick as I can... half the time I don't even get undressed... Now dont get me wrong.. the guys I am playing with always seem more than happy with this... And I love it.
However, every so often Master tries to encourage me to enjoy more than that... and I just struggle.
Now in contrast... Every girl Master fucks, he makes them feel good.. for that short time they have his undivided attention ( this is when I am not there obviously) Often its with a few drinks first etc... and flirting and touching... and to Master this is the norm.. as he wants to treat them with respect.
Now I get a bit Meh about this.. as I kinda think that its just sex.. why not just get her straight bent over.. etc etc.. Now Master tells me its because why shouldnt he make them feel good..and women would feel used if he did that..
Now my reply is " they know its just a fuck... so why dress it up"...
This i what I am struggling with... as am I wrong to feel that it doesnt matter if someone just is seen as a fuck...???
Master can instruct me to do foreplay, kissing etc etc... but the fact is I just feel its a waste of time.. when all I want is the cum...
I am starting to think that I have due to years of abuse before I met my master.. both mentally and physically... I take the cold option because to me its retaining the power.
I dont even know what I am asking.. I am just confused as to how I feel over this... as I can not understand the need to be dress up what I am wanting.
Cali |
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Ok, up until 6 years ago i was just like you. NEVER wanted more contact than i needed, did gangbangs till they came out of my ears. Faceless fucks where faces just blurred into one, no kissing certainly no cuddling, a fuck was a fuck, now i didnt know it at the time but with hind sight the only reason i think I and im not saying is the case for anyone else think i behaved like that was because i was scared that i would get too close to someone, give them something i didnt want to give. Now im not saying that is true but that is the only logical answer i can give myself.
Now im secure in my relationship, when i have a meet i want to dress up, i want to spend the evening with them, i want a kiss and sometimes a bit of a cuddle. Im very fond of some of the guys i know but im confident enough now to know that i wont "fall" for them and i dont need to distance myself |
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By *oublouWoman
over a year ago
co durham |
Yep I do no what u mean about not dressing it up, I went through a crazy phase when leavin my ex which wasn't the best of relationships. It's hard to explain but it still effects stuff now xx |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Everyone is different. In fact, some people like different things at different times. I prefer less messing and more shagging, but there are a couple of meets I like to have a chat and drink with first. I am not too bothered with protracted flirting, touching etc.
If you are happy with what you get, and he is happy with what he gets, there isn't a problem. It's when you stop being happy that something may have to be done. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok, up until 6 years ago i was just like you. NEVER wanted more contact than i needed, did gangbangs till they came out of my ears. Faceless fucks where faces just blurred into one, no kissing certainly no cuddling, a fuck was a fuck, now i didnt know it at the time but with hind sight the only reason i think I and im not saying is the case for anyone else think i behaved like that was because i was scared that i would get too close to someone, give them something i didnt want to give. Now im not saying that is true but that is the only logical answer i can give myself.
Now im secure in my relationship, when i have a meet i want to dress up, i want to spend the evening with them, i want a kiss and sometimes a bit of a cuddle. Im very fond of some of the guys i know but im confident enough now to know that i wont "fall" for them and i dont need to distance myself"
see for me... before my Master.. I was pretty much used.. the guys loved that I loved sex all the time.. but it was pretty much that and little else.. In fact when I wanted to get cuddles my ex told me to get a cat..
I am encouraged and know that Master loves it on the odd occassion there is a connection and I enjoy more than just a fuck with a guy.. but I always find a way to make sure that for some reason we dont meet again.
Even when we have regular guys...the minute they start to like me.. I get rid.. even when we have a 3rd involved. I am very much.. He cant stay after sex... he cant spend the night.. 2 hours is long enough... I just keep them at a distance..
I to be fair find one on ones hard.. as in a group its much easier to just be how I want to be.. no expectations.
Cali |
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"Ok, up until 6 years ago i was just like you. NEVER wanted more contact than i needed, did gangbangs till they came out of my ears. Faceless fucks where faces just blurred into one, no kissing certainly no cuddling, a fuck was a fuck, now i didnt know it at the time but with hind sight the only reason i think I and im not saying is the case for anyone else think i behaved like that was because i was scared that i would get too close to someone, give them something i didnt want to give. Now im not saying that is true but that is the only logical answer i can give myself.
Now im secure in my relationship, when i have a meet i want to dress up, i want to spend the evening with them, i want a kiss and sometimes a bit of a cuddle. Im very fond of some of the guys i know but im confident enough now to know that i wont "fall" for them and i dont need to distance myself
see for me... before my Master.. I was pretty much used.. the guys loved that I loved sex all the time.. but it was pretty much that and little else.. In fact when I wanted to get cuddles my ex told me to get a cat..
I am encouraged and know that Master loves it on the odd occassion there is a connection and I enjoy more than just a fuck with a guy.. but I always find a way to make sure that for some reason we dont meet again.
Even when we have regular guys...the minute they start to like me.. I get rid.. even when we have a 3rd involved. I am very much.. He cant stay after sex... he cant spend the night.. 2 hours is long enough... I just keep them at a distance..
I to be fair find one on ones hard.. as in a group its much easier to just be how I want to be.. no expectations.
Cali "
I didnt do one on ones for years, i did the odd one but was never comfortable i liked the not knowing the person. Would know there names half the time. But i truely believed thats what i wanted. But its not know, i havent even done a gangbang for six years. I seemed to change literally overnight, kissing someone took time and cuddling even longer, im still a bit uncomfortable with cuddling cause i think they may read more into it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, up until 6 years ago i was just like you. NEVER wanted more contact than i needed, did gangbangs till they came out of my ears. Faceless fucks where faces just blurred into one, no kissing certainly no cuddling, a fuck was a fuck, now i didnt know it at the time but with hind sight the only reason i think I and im not saying is the case for anyone else think i behaved like
that was because i was scared that i would get too close to someone, give them something i didnt want to give. Now im not saying that is true but that is the only logical answer i can give myself.
Now im secure in my relationship, when i have a meet i want to dress up, i want to spend the evening with them, i want a kiss and sometimes a bit of a cuddle. Im very fond of some of the guys i know but im confident enough now to know that i wont "fall" for them and i dont need to distance myself"
But you are a different person to what you were 6 years ago and people do change or evolve.
I am a two way kind of girl I love my intimate snuggles with my good friends and very tactile I am also greedy when I go to clubs I like it both ways x |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Or you can look at the other specterim, whilst I can and do nsa sex, I do still need to have an attraction/connection to someone, I want to enjoy their company, I want to explore idea's with them, I want to want to meet them again, as I feel, the more you know someone, the better the sex is.
The last thing I want to feel is that someone has just used me for an easy lay, and that will never happen, due to the way I meet people, as those types of guys, will never have the patience to get to know me, so I suppose in answer to your post, we are all different and all have different needs.
If I don't have a connection, I will and have gone months without sex, not ideal, but I'm still being true to myself, and I would never compromise on it, so, if I have muddied the waters, I do apologise, just answering the other end of you question and maybe answering from the point of view that your master has??? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
If you are happy with what you get, and he is happy with what he gets, there isn't a problem. It's when you stop being happy that something may have to be done."
The fact is I dont think I am happy with it.. I love it at the time... but then I find myself questioning why.
Cali |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"
If you are happy with what you get, and he is happy with what he gets, there isn't a problem. It's when you stop being happy that something may have to be done.
The fact is I dont think I am happy with it.. I love it at the time... but then I find myself questioning why.
Cali"
Try doing it the other way then. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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@ foxyminx.
See for me one to one I need to find attractive but I rarely even get their name... its just nameless faceless fucking mostly.
I guess its like using my toys only I dont have to use them myself.... my prime goal is to get the photos I want to show off to my Master... and will do what I have to do too do that.
Confused in myself tonight.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
If you are happy with what you get, and he is happy with what he gets, there isn't a problem. It's when you stop being happy that something may have to be done.
The fact is I dont think I am happy with it.. I love it at the time... but then I find myself questioning why.
Cali
Try doing it the other way then."
I have.. it feels faked and uncomfortable.. and like I am acting... I spend the time thinking FFS cum already.
Cali |
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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
I do know about this it's a protection thing we are scared getting close and hurt so we build a wall no kissing / cuddles / we switch off we like the cum but don't want the relationship the sex we like the closeness is risky we might get feelings involved so I know what u are saying |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do know about this it's a protection thing we are scared getting close and hurt so we build a wall no kissing / cuddles / we switch off we like the cum but don't want the relationship the sex we like the closeness is risky we might get feelings involved so I know what u are saying "
the thing is I have a relationship that is so amazing and the first time in my life I have felt what I am feeling.
I wonder if no matter how much I am secure that because for once in my life I have something I see as special... I hold back in case I get carried away and upset my Master.. despite being constantly assured and encouraged to give a bit more.. to enjoy it...
Its annoying as if I was to have someone come to me with these issues I know what I would tell them..but therapists I think make the worst patients...and struggle to take advice.
Cali |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"@ foxyminx.
See for me one to one I need to find attractive but I rarely even get their name... its just nameless faceless fucking mostly.
I guess its like using my toys only I dont have to use them myself.... my prime goal is to get the photos I want to show off to my Master... and will do what I have to do too do that.
Confused in myself tonight.
Cali"
Like I said, we are all different! My meets? Ok, each is different but I will admit that many a naked chat has taken place on my sofa's after having fun, then back to the living room for more wine and having a giggle (if you can't have a laugh during or after sex when can you is my thoughts!) Then more fun hopefully, but I will say that the way I meet is more along the way your master does, sorry if I have confused you even more, but then I haven't had to deal with what you have had to in the past, so maybe that does play a part how we are all different, but then I am playing as a single female and therefore I only have my own needs to meet without thinking about pleasing someone else, (that sounds wrong, because I always try to meet my play partners needs) but I don't have to produce any pictorial evidence on what has gone on, so maybe that might be a slight hinderance???
Might be confucing myself now! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks foxy and no its not confusing it.. I am really trying to work out why I think that my way is normal and that Master doesnt need to wine and dine these women.. that just.. " Lets fuck" will do..
I certainly don't lack in self respect.. in fact the opposite.
But I never ever have chats before.. I am normally fucking within 15mins of the guys being in my door.. and alone within 30... even at a club I have been known to just get up.. and then not even talk to the guy again.
I have never really thought there was anything wrong with it... Till today...
I dont find the rules I play under a hinderance.. in fact Master relaxed them and I found that I hated not taking the photos... it felt that was taking something away from it.. And now Master has said that if I am at a club that I can happily go have fun without photos as long as I get a few here and there..and write him a good report.
I dont know what it is.. maybe my pmt is playing up this month lol
Cali
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Have you tried abstaining for a period of time, after the time has elapsed you might have a clearer picture in your mind of the type of sex you prefer at this time in your life, I might be wrong but I suspect we all go through different phases in our sexual likes and dislikes and something that turns us on today could even despise us tomorrow, talk to someone neutral about you feelings, actually add up the pros and cons of what you are doing and how it is affecting your feelings when you are not doing it, above all, look after yourself hun, mwah, x  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I dont think at times it helps I am a sex addict.. so there are often times my reasons are purely for the fix I need...
Since being with Master these have been reigned in a little.. and instead of being just for the sex.. there is a purpose and enjoyment...
Abstaining would actually be bad bad bad for me.. lol.. I get depressed without it.. sad but true.
Cali |
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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"I do know about this it's a protection thing we are scared getting close and hurt so we build a wall no kissing / cuddles / we switch off we like the cum but don't want the relationship the sex we like the closeness is risky we might get feelings involved so I know what u are saying
the thing is I have a relationship that is so amazing and the first time in my life I have felt what I am feeling.
I wonder if no matter how much I am secure that because for once in my life I have something I see as special... I hold back in case I get carried away and upset my Master.. despite being constantly assured and encouraged to give a bit more.. to enjoy it...
Its annoying as if I was to have someone come to me with these issues I know what I would tell them..but therapists I think make the worst patients...and struggle to take advice.
Cali "
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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"I do know about this it's a protection thing we are scared getting close and hurt so we build a wall no kissing / cuddles / we switch off we like the cum but don't want the relationship the sex we like the closeness is risky we might get feelings involved so I know what u are saying
the thing is I have a relationship that is so amazing and the first time in my life I have felt what I am feeling.
I wonder if no matter how much I am secure that because for once in my life I have something I see as special... I hold back in case I get carried away and upset my Master.. despite being constantly assured and encouraged to give a bit more.. to enjoy it...
Its annoying as if I was to have someone come to me with these issues I know what I would tell them..but therapists I think make the worst patients...and struggle to take advice.
Cali "
I agree with u fully it's easy looking at it from the outside but been in there we only see what we want to see I never take advice even though deep down I know I should be listening it is very difficult hun and at the end of the day only ourself can decide what we do and feel and if we feel the advice is right for us x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you concerned that maybe if you let these guys in you could be tempted away from your Master? That they could jeopardise a relationship you are finally happy in?
I do get the enjoyment in 'being used' or quicky sex that just scratches an itch but I do need a healthy balance of that and slightly more affectionate sex. I can only have repeated meets though with men I know won't get attached, even if there is kissing and closeness because I am scared of commitment (well more scared of letting my walls down again to have someone trample on me). If a guy does start to seem to me like he is getting too attached I'll usually cut off contact because I don't want the seriousness. That may be cold of me, but if I nip it in the bud before it grows then it saves hurt and awkwardness all round...could this be similar to what you're doing? Just that you're not giving them the opportunity to form a bond so there are no ties to cut? x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you concerned that maybe if you let these guys in you could be tempted away from your Master? That they could jeopardise a relationship you are finally happy in?
I do get the enjoyment in 'being used' or quicky sex that just scratches an itch but I do need a healthy balance of that and slightly more affectionate sex. I can only have repeated meets though with men I know won't get attached, even if there is kissing and closeness because I am scared of commitment (well more scared of letting my walls down again to have someone trample on me). If a guy does start to seem to me like he is getting too attached I'll usually cut off contact because I don't want the seriousness. That may be cold of me, but if I nip it in the bud before it grows then it saves hurt and awkwardness all round...could this be similar to what you're doing? Just that you're not giving them the opportunity to form a bond so there are no ties to cut? x"
I dont worry about being tempted away.. but I do think that the fact I had two meets try to come between my Master and I ( shit stiring.. and trying to make out I was seeing them behind Masters back.. luckily my Master knew they were lying )
Perhaps I am colder since then... but yes I do think its a case of while being the cold hard sexual predator I like to be.. its a protection... heaven forbid that I should lose control to another man. The fact is my Master is the only man I have ever totally been lost in the moment with...
Maybe deep down I worry that if I lose it in the moment that it will take something away.. I dont know.. I am trying to talk till something clicks and I think. aha.. thats it.
Thanks all btw.. both on here and in private.. 
Cali |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Your welcome Cali
But I am not the fuck and go type of gal, so I am the type the female your Master has described, so all I can say is each to their own? Not sure if that helps at all, as I do meet someone who is married and whilst I know it is just sex, we do enjoy the sex, kisses and cuddles, whilst I know, he goes lovingly back to his wife the next day (and yes I have met her and yes I know it is all out in the open) I just think if the rules (if that is what you call them) are set out in advance you can separate out your feelings and enjoy someone's company as and when you want to meet.
Otherwise why be on here, maybe I'm starting a whole new thread, but yes, if your Master contacted me, with full permission, and treated me with respect and knew the way I met people, why does that need to cause any friction? People just need to respect who they are meeting regardless of how that person meets...does that make sense? |
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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"Are you concerned that maybe if you let these guys in you could be tempted away from your Master? That they could jeopardise a relationship you are finally happy in?
I do get the enjoyment in 'being used' or quicky sex that just scratches an itch but I do need a healthy balance of that and slightly more affectionate sex. I can only have repeated meets though with men I know won't get attached, even if there is kissing and closeness because I am scared of commitment (well more scared of letting my walls down again to have someone trample on me). If a guy does start to seem to me like he is getting too attached I'll usually cut off contact because I don't want the seriousness. That may be cold of me, but if I nip it in the bud before it grows then it saves hurt and awkwardness all round...could this be similar to what you're doing? Just that you're not giving them the opportunity to form a bond so there are no ties to cut? x"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your welcome Cali
But I am not the fuck and go type of gal, so I am the type the female your Master has described, so all I can say is each to their own? Not sure if that helps at all, as I do meet someone who is married and whilst I know it is just sex, we do enjoy the sex, kisses and cuddles, whilst I know, he goes lovingly back to his wife the next day (and yes I have met her and yes I know it is all out in the open) I just think if the rules (if that is what you call them) are set out in advance you can separate out your feelings and enjoy someone's company as and when you want to meet.
Otherwise why be on here, maybe I'm starting a whole new thread, but yes, if your Master contacted me, with full permission, and treated me with respect and knew the way I met people, why does that need to cause any friction? People just need to respect who they are meeting regardless of how that person meets...does that make sense?"
It does make sense.. but I also then think... OMG do you spend the night with this married man.. I have to say that if Master spent the night with someone and didnt kick them out after sex.. I think my limit would be reached.. as I strongly believe that waking with someone should be kept for loving couples.. and doesnt constitute nsa sex.. ( just my view btw)
Our rules are very clear.. I am to have fun.. enjoy the moment as much as I can... cum as much as possible but not forget to get photos ( if its not on cam to my Master)
but 99% of the time.. I just get the guys in and out with the least touching as possible.. Even a few meets where they stand with hands behind them and I just suck their cocks... yet I enjoy that.. and dont feel uncomfortable.
or have had guys that have walked in.. Been told to bend over and that is it..
I just I guess find it hard to get that these women Master is meeting expect him to treat them like a g/f for the evening.. I guess because I play how I do.. even though its not imposed on me by Master.. I get a bit resentful that he cant do that to women and actually normally doesnt play because he cant be like that with women.
cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont think at times it helps I am a sex addict..
Abstaining would actually be bad bad bad for me.. lol.. I get depressed without it.. sad but true."
If I'm not having regular sex I'm horrible, I'm cranky, depressed and genuinely do feel awful so I fully understand that aspect of it Cali.
I started to question my own appetite for sex and the nsa aspect of it but as someone said to me, if it makes you happy why question it. I should also probably take my own advice but that's the advice someone gave me.
Ruby Xxx |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Your welcome Cali
But I am not the fuck and go type of gal, so I am the type the female your Master has described, so all I can say is each to their own? Not sure if that helps at all, as I do meet someone who is married and whilst I know it is just sex, we do enjoy the sex, kisses and cuddles, whilst I know, he goes lovingly back to his wife the next day (and yes I have met her and yes I know it is all out in the open) I just think if the rules (if that is what you call them) are set out in advance you can separate out your feelings and enjoy someone's company as and when you want to meet.
Otherwise why be on here, maybe I'm starting a whole new thread, but yes, if your Master contacted me, with full permission, and treated me with respect and knew the way I met people, why does that need to cause any friction? People just need to respect who they are meeting regardless of how that person meets...does that make sense?
It does make sense.. but I also then think... OMG do you spend the night with this married man.. I have to say that if Master spent the night with someone and didnt kick them out after sex.. I think my limit would be reached.. as I strongly believe that waking with someone should be kept for loving couples.. and doesnt constitute nsa sex.. ( just my view btw)
Our rules are very clear.. I am to have fun.. enjoy the moment as much as I can... cum as much as possible but not forget to get photos ( if its not on cam to my Master)
but 99% of the time.. I just get the guys in and out with the least touching as possible.. Even a few meets where they stand with hands behind them and I just suck their cocks... yet I enjoy that.. and dont feel uncomfortable.
or have had guys that have walked in.. Been told to bend over and that is it..
I just I guess find it hard to get that these women Master is meeting expect him to treat them like a g/f for the evening.. I guess because I play how I do.. even though its not imposed on me by Master.. I get a bit resentful that he cant do that to women and actually normally doesnt play because he cant be like that with women.
cali "
Yes I do Cali! As horrific as you may find it, we can all compart out own feelings and that is what nsa sex is to me, to everyone else it may be different, yes I meet this married guy and yes his wife know's when he is here, is it clinical sex? No it's not and never has been, has it always been over night stays, no it hasn't that has only happened over time, does that put pressure on there marriage? I would guess NO because I have NEVER thought upon it as being anything more than it is (he is helping me explore my bdsm side so not just vallina sex, I don't know if that is different)But that's what I mean, every one is different, we can all start off with certain thoughts, anf then they turn into into reality! It can sometimes, just be as simple as that x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It does make sense.. but I also then think... OMG do you spend the night with this married man.. I have to say that if Master spent the night with someone and didnt kick them out after sex.. I think my limit would be reached.. as I strongly believe that waking with someone should be kept for loving couples.. and doesnt constitute nsa sex.. ( just my view btw) "
I'm the same with sleep overs - the only man I spend the night with is my FB, and even that I'm starting to question (prob because I'm feelings things I don't want to feel!). Any other meet may stay for half an hour or so for a chat, but most are heading out the door within about 10-15 minutes of cumming! That's how I like it though...uncomplicated and clear that whilst I will fuck them I won't be waking up with them and making them breakfast.
Maybe taking a little time out from meeting, but still having sex with Master, would be good for you to reflect on what you want from meets and see how you'd let yourself go a bit more on meets? x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cali, are you questioning the way you feel because Master plays differently and he's asked you to play the same way (more contact, not just fuck and go etc).... or are you questioning the way you feel because you think 'your way' is bad?
If you are happy with the way you play, and the people you meet are happy with playing that way, then surely that's all good. Everyone is different.
Apologies to both you and Master as this is just a thought from me, but could you be jealous of the way he is treating the women he meets? Deep down perhaps you think he should be saving the wining/ dining/ kisses and cuddles for you?
Perhaps you prefer to keep to basically no contact with your meets as you're scared of getting feelings for them/ or them getting feelings for you?
Just some thoughts after reading the whole thread.
I wouldn't sleep/ stay over with anyone either as I think it's just too personal.
I like that you're questioning the way you look at things. I like to do the same with the way I look at things.
But if it all eventually boils down to you thinking that your way of playing is somehow 'wrong', I hope you don't feel that way because as long as you and they are happy.... just be happy. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I am actually questioning the way I meet. Master was the first person that treated me like he did.. First person to make me think that I could be the sexual creature that I am.. but still have respect for myself.
Sometimes Master does kinda fuck and run, but its rare.. to be honest.. he only really meets others very occasionally as opposed to me having multiple men most weeks..
I do get a bit envious rather than jealous when Away on a business trip that Master can give these girls this time, that for us is such a rare thing... yet our time together he never fails to make amazing.
I think to be fair I am more questioning WHY I feel the need to at times be so cold that I risk making people feel used.. to the fact that recently I hurt someones feelings as I totally didnt recognise them.. and after realising my mistake, instead of making the guy feel better I told him that I never remembered sex with others as it was all just for the cum. Which wasnt nice.
I dont worry about me getting feelings for meets.. as Master would actually encourage that... but I just know that there are times I question myself and this being one of them.. because actually my thinking is flawed as if Someone tried to treat me how I am expecting Master to treat others.. then I would be slinging them out.
I think I have my own version of double standards.. and while I know I have reasons.. ( deep rooted issues from my past) It doesnt make how I behave in some ways right.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would hope that even your meets may be 'fuck and go' they still respect you. They should do. But then that's possibly just me and my thoughts as respect is very important to me.
The guy that you didn't recognise... and you told him that you never remember sex with others as it's all just for the cum.... why should that hurt his feelings? I think that's very honest and true. Please don't take this the wrong way, but surely he knows you play with multiple guys a week/ month, how the heck can you possibly be expected to remember them all?! I don't remember some people I worked with or met while out!
I think you are being too hard on yourself. I don't see anything wrong with double standards either in fct I don't see it as double standards at all. It's not a bad thing that you and Master play differently. You both want to play differently. As long as you're happy then that's fine.
The past happened and it made you who you are today. Everyone has bad things and good things happen. I wouldn't want to change the bad things that have happened to me as they played a part in making me who I am today, if that makes sense.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am actually questioning the way I meet. Master was the first person that treated me like he did.. First person to make me think that I could be the sexual creature that I am.. but still have respect for myself.
Sometimes Master does kinda fuck and run, but its rare.. to be honest.. he only really meets others very occasionally as opposed to me having multiple men most weeks..
I do get a bit envious rather than jealous when Away on a business trip that Master can give these girls this time, that for us is such a rare thing... yet our time together he never fails to make amazing.
I think to be fair I am more questioning WHY I feel the need to at times be so cold that I risk making people feel used.. to the fact that recently I hurt someones feelings as I totally didnt recognise them.. and after realising my mistake, instead of making the guy feel better I told him that I never remembered sex with others as it was all just for the cum. Which wasnt nice.
I dont worry about me getting feelings for meets.. as Master would actually encourage that... but I just know that there are times I question myself and this being one of them.. because actually my thinking is flawed as if Someone tried to treat me how I am expecting Master to treat others.. then I would be slinging them out.
I think I have my own version of double standards.. and while I know I have reasons.. ( deep rooted issues from my past) It doesnt make how I behave in some ways right.
Cali "
You do realise the people meeting you know its just for sex?
Don't delude yourself they leave upset and hurt because you didn't ask them for marriage. They got what they want, you got what you want. Everyone is happy, this site is full of people who misunderstand what real "swinging" really is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i very rarely do repeat meets, i can sometimes come over as being a little cold towards people on here
I dont think poeple on here view me as people in my real life, on here im just seen as a fuck so i act accordingly
I feel men on here meet me because they are just after someone to off load on so i give them that
of course how you have been treat in previous times will affect how you feel
I remember when i split from my ex he told me the only guys who would want me are desparate single guys who hadnt had a fuck for years, thats stuck with me for 4 years and every time i meet someone i think about what he said and all the time in the back of my mind im thinking does he like me or am i make do
The truth is i probably am just a make do i know there are far better looking women on here than me, so why meet me? answer....cause the good looking women are hard to meet, if you spend enough time being told your fat and ugly by someone whos supposed to love you how can you relax with anyone else. because in my mind if my own hubby thought that about me, what the fooks everyone else thinking, i never get naked when having sex, im so self conscious about my body,. but i spend years having all my inperfections pointed out to me, so how am i supposed to show myself to people?
words stick, you dont forget, and if you confidance is knocked enough you start to push that on other people even if you dont always realise it
i get told all the time to stop putting myself down, but to me i just feel like im saying what everyone else is thinking, its like a safty blanket for me, if i point out im fat and ugly others wont bother because they cant hurt you with words that you use about yourself
I dont know you cali but if your pervious relationship was anything like mine i can relate to why you only want to give and feel more comnfy staying dressed
then again it could be for a whole different set of reasons, you really have to know someone to give a opinion on such a subject x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
You do realise the people meeting you know its just for sex?
Don't delude yourself they leave upset and hurt because you didn't ask them for marriage. They got what they want, you got what you want. Everyone is happy, this site is full of people who misunderstand what real "swinging" really is."
after 14 years of swinging.. yes I know its just sex.. but actually I have had more than a few people that seem shocked that I dont want to see them again.. or socially and even had a few that have developed feelings..
So I do worry about hurting peoples feelings.. and some guys have said in other posts that they wouldnt just want a fuck and go type meet.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread is bollax, if you're insecure go do something else. If you're confident and enjoy life....continue swinging.
"
so insecure people dont have a sex drive? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This thread is bollax, if you're insecure go do something else. If you're confident and enjoy life....continue swinging.
"
Where am I saying I am insecure..??? Don't think I have.. I am more than secure enough in myself and am just questioning my motives for only wanting fuck and go type meets.
I love my gangbangs.. but not sure I should treat one on ones quite the same. Master feels that there is nothing wrong with how he meets and to be fair.. no there isnt.. its just not really something I would do with a meet. I dont need buying dinner.. or small talk... but I want to know why I think that its acceptable to be how I am.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread is bollax, if you're insecure go do something else. If you're confident and enjoy life....continue swinging.
Where am I saying I am insecure..??? Don't think I have.. I am more than secure enough in myself and am just questioning my motives for only wanting fuck and go type meets.
I love my gangbangs.. but not sure I should treat one on ones quite the same. Master feels that there is nothing wrong with how he meets and to be fair.. no there isnt.. its just not really something I would do with a meet. I dont need buying dinner.. or small talk... but I want to know why I think that its acceptable to be how I am.
Cali "
A guy will come and fuck ya then go home. You will go fuck a guy then go home.
No one gives a shit, if you think the guy is leaving feeling used you're crazy lol. This is a SEX site, Not a romance dating site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread is bollax, if you're insecure go do something else. If you're confident and enjoy life....continue swinging.
so insecure people dont have a sex drive?"
Of course they do, what a crazy thing to say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Theres no such thing as real swinging
everyones here for their own reasons
some want to make friends, some dont, not everyone wants repeat meets, not everyone wants one offs, some like same room swap, some different room, some different house
you do what feels right for you
its all real swinging just everyone has different needs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread is bollax, if you're insecure go do something else. If you're confident and enjoy life....continue swinging.
so insecure people dont have a sex drive?
Of course they do, what a crazy thing to say."
you was the one who said if your insecure go do something else and carry on swinging if your confidant 
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
No one gives a shit, if you think the guy is leaving feeling used you're crazy lol. This is a SEX site, Not a romance dating site."
I am well aware on what it is.. but guys have said they feel used on this... I know its not a romance site.. as not looking for that.. but not everyone wants fuck and go.. and I am questioning my reasons for doing it..
Please read what has been said... I meet most weeks.. often more than one guy... So I am certainly enjoying my time.. The question is about the way I play... if you struggle to understand that its your issue not mine.
As someone that has been doing this successfully for many years.. I think I have a good understanding of what its about.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Theres no such thing as real swinging
everyones here for their own reasons
some want to make friends, some dont, not everyone wants repeat meets, not everyone wants one offs, some like same room swap, some different room, some different house
you do what feels right for you
its all real swinging just everyone has different needs"
That's fine, but don't come whining and whinging about feeling used, you know why you're on this site. Don't pretend you don't.
If you feel used stop doing it, common sense really is not that common. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
NN I'm sorry but your ex DID NOT love you. People do not tell the people they love that they are fat and ugly. They just don't. People that have no feelings for someone might be so direct. A friend wouldn't say that.
Perhaps he said it because it was his opinion. But it's just his opinion. Would you have felt so bad if he'd said you are too tall or your hair is too long or he didn't like your toes? And I know that probably sounds daft but I know what I'm trying to say. It doesn't matter what other people think, it matters what you think. x
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Theres no such thing as real swinging
everyones here for their own reasons
some want to make friends, some dont, not everyone wants repeat meets, not everyone wants one offs, some like same room swap, some different room, some different house
you do what feels right for you
its all real swinging just everyone has different needs
That's fine, but don't come whining and whinging about feeling used, you know why you're on this site. Don't pretend you don't.
If you feel used stop doing it, common sense really is not that common."
Where have we said we feel used.. I certainly dont... but I play a certain way and I am trying to work out if its because I really want to play like that... or if because of things in my past.. I feel the need to play like that.
Its hardly whinging.. 
cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
No one gives a shit, if you think the guy is leaving feeling used you're crazy lol. This is a SEX site, Not a romance dating site.
I am well aware on what it is.. but guys have said they feel used on this... I know its not a romance site.. as not looking for that.. but not everyone wants fuck and go.. and I am questioning my reasons for doing it..
Please read what has been said... I meet most weeks.. often more than one guy... So I am certainly enjoying my time.. The question is about the way I play... if you struggle to understand that its your issue not mine.
As someone that has been doing this successfully for many years.. I think I have a good understanding of what its about.
Cali "
If you're questioning why you do this, then stop doing it for a while simple. If after a few months away you decide you want to continue doing it, then continue.
There is no unknown about this, its a sex site where like mined people find sexual partners. If that's what you 100% know you want then do it. If not then don't/
IT REALLY S THAT SIMPLE, We're all adults. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Theres no such thing as real swinging
everyones here for their own reasons
some want to make friends, some dont, not everyone wants repeat meets, not everyone wants one offs, some like same room swap, some different room, some different house
you do what feels right for you
its all real swinging just everyone has different needs
That's fine, but don't come whining and whinging about feeling used, you know why you're on this site. Don't pretend you don't.
If you feel used stop doing it, common sense really is not that common.
Where have we said we feel used.. I certainly dont... but I play a certain way and I am trying to work out if its because I really want to play like that... or if because of things in my past.. I feel the need to play like that.
Its hardly whinging..
cali"
Go ring Jeremy Kyle, he might give a shit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I dont want to stop.. I am asking a question.. I like what I am doing.
It maybe simple to you but there are often reasons why people do what they do.. and its a good thing sometimes to think about why you do things..
Its harder I think when your as trained as I am on this subject.. as you tend to perhaps look to deeply at things.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
No one gives a shit, if you think the guy is leaving feeling used you're crazy lol. This is a SEX site, Not a romance dating site.
I am well aware on what it is.. but guys have said they feel used on this... I know its not a romance site.. as not looking for that.. but not everyone wants fuck and go.. and I am questioning my reasons for doing it..
Please read what has been said... I meet most weeks.. often more than one guy... So I am certainly enjoying my time.. The question is about the way I play... if you struggle to understand that its your issue not mine.
As someone that has been doing this successfully for many years.. I think I have a good understanding of what its about.
Cali
If you're questioning why you do this, then stop doing it for a while simple. If after a few months away you decide you want to continue doing it, then continue.
There is no unknown about this, its a sex site where like mined people find sexual partners. If that's what you 100% know you want then do it. If not then don't/
IT REALLY S THAT SIMPLE, We're all adults."
You are blatantly just trying to irritate people. How amusing.
This is a forum for discussion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont want to stop.. I am asking a question.. I like what I am doing.
It maybe simple to you but there are often reasons why people do what they do.. and its a good thing sometimes to think about why you do things..
Its harder I think when your as trained as I am on this subject.. as you tend to perhaps look to deeply at things.
Cali "
Well stop doing it then, problem solved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
No one gives a shit, if you think the guy is leaving feeling used you're crazy lol. This is a SEX site, Not a romance dating site.
I am well aware on what it is.. but guys have said they feel used on this... I know its not a romance site.. as not looking for that.. but not everyone wants fuck and go.. and I am questioning my reasons for doing it..
Please read what has been said... I meet most weeks.. often more than one guy... So I am certainly enjoying my time.. The question is about the way I play... if you struggle to understand that its your issue not mine.
As someone that has been doing this successfully for many years.. I think I have a good understanding of what its about.
Cali
If you're questioning why you do this, then stop doing it for a while simple. If after a few months away you decide you want to continue doing it, then continue.
There is no unknown about this, its a sex site where like mined people find sexual partners. If that's what you 100% know you want then do it. If not then don't/
IT REALLY S THAT SIMPLE, We're all adults.
You are blatantly just trying to irritate people. How amusing.
This is a forum for discussion. "
No, I'm reminding people why they joined this site and how easy it is to leave the site.
Posts like this just make the vanilla world think we're all fucked up morron's who need help. WERE NOT! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
...If that's what you 100% know you want then do it. If not then don't/
IT REALLY S THAT SIMPLE, We're all adults.
You are blatantly just trying to irritate people. How amusing.
This is a forum for discussion.
No, I'm reminding people why they joined this site and how easy it is to leave the site.
Posts like this just make the vanilla world think we're all fucked up morron's who need help. WERE NOT!"
Please can you remind me why I joined this site?
Why would the vanilla world be reading this? And why should we care what the vanilla's think anyway? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Please can you remind me why I joined this site?
Why would the vanilla world be reading this? And why should we care what the vanilla's think anyway?"
I really dont care what vanillas think of me.. but then I find most swingers a bit vanilla most of the time lol
I joined this site to arrange group sessions and get fucked on cam for my Master and my pleasure... and to talk to like minded people.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Please can you remind me why I joined this site?
Why would the vanilla world be reading this? And why should we care what the vanilla's think anyway?"
Ok, its a sex site, so I guess you joined this site to find sexual partners? There are lots of site for finding local friends, or people with common vanilla interests.
Also "vanilla" folk might not see this site but newspapers ect like to have a browse I imagine. An will be looking for the poor victim.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Please can you remind me why I joined this site?
Why would the vanilla world be reading this? And why should we care what the vanilla's think anyway?
Ok, its a sex site, so I guess you joined this site to find sexual partners? There are lots of site for finding local friends, or people with common vanilla interests.
Also "vanilla" folk might not see this site but newspapers ect like to have a browse I imagine. An will be looking for the poor victim...."
Yes but my point was that people join the site for different reasons. Perhaps to swap with couples or for 3somes or for bi girls or for bi guys or for gangbangs or whatever else. It just seemed a bit of a sweeping statement that you were reminding people of why they joined... because you can't possible know exactly why they joined.
Newspapers will make victims of whoever they choose, unfortunately. Good point about watching what we say as we don't know who is out there reading..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I really dont care what vanillas think of me.. but then I find most swingers a bit vanilla most of the time lol
I joined this site to arrange group sessions and get fucked on cam for my Master and my pleasure... and to talk to like minded people.
Cali
Most swingers are vanilla if your view because you're extreme. As you have previously stated 20 men without condoms have cum all over you, that's not swinging. Slags,Sluts,Slaves are not what swinging for couples is about."
so tell me, oh mighty one with all the answers
whats the difference between a slut and a slag and a swinger? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I really dont care what vanillas think of me.. but then I find most swingers a bit vanilla most of the time lol
I joined this site to arrange group sessions and get fucked on cam for my Master and my pleasure... and to talk to like minded people.
Cali
Most swingers are vanilla if your view because you're extreme. As you have previously stated 20 men without condoms have cum all over you, that's not swinging. Slags,Sluts,Slaves are not what swinging for couples is about."
Oh you're classy.
Not really contributing very much here are you? Why not just let those who want to talk do so without throwing abuse about. Some of us actually understand what Cali is talking about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
so tell me, oh mighty one with all the answers
whats the difference between a slut and a slag and a swinger?"
I don't need to, you're a swinger aren't you? You "get it" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
so tell me, oh mighty one with all the answers
whats the difference between a slut and a slag and a swinger?
I don't need to, you're a swinger aren't you? You "get it""
i do yeah
a slag is a word 15 year olds on a play ground use, swinger is a word adult use |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
"
I really dont care what vanillas think of me.. but then I find most swingers a bit vanilla most of the time lol
I joined this site to arrange group sessions and get fucked on cam for my Master and my pleasure... and to talk to like minded people.
Cali
Most swingers are vanilla if your view because you're extreme. As you have previously stated 20 men without condoms have cum all over you, that's not swinging. Slags,Sluts,Slaves are not what swinging for couples is about."
Have you actually read any of Cali's previous posts on here, or even looked at cali n Master's profile? Nah I doubt it!
Cali and Master are straight, upp front posters. I wouldnt mess with them, even in person lol
Seriously though, Cali is opening up for advice and doesnt need the likes of you to come in and shout what a load of bollocks.
Others will know, I enjoy Cali's posts, as it i find it opens my mind to another kind of relationship.
Basically Cali, all I can advse, is do what makes YOU happpy (sorry Master)
Personally, I do think it may have somethng to do with your previous relationships and maybe you both need a step back to see what you BOTH would like from the whol sub/master thing.
I havent a clue or understanding about subs n masters, but feel your relationshp is strong enough to discuss your feelngs. May sound a bit silly, but it seems a bit old fashioned gender reversal to me (if that makes sense) x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I really dont care what vanillas think of me.. but then I find most swingers a bit vanilla most of the time lol
I joined this site to arrange group sessions and get fucked on cam for my Master and my pleasure... and to talk to like minded people.
Cali
Most swingers are vanilla if your view because you're extreme. As you have previously stated 20 men without condoms have cum all over you, that's not swinging. Slags,Sluts,Slaves are not what swinging for couples is about.
so tell me, oh mighty one with all the answers
whats the difference between a slut and a slag and a swinger?"
Oh this will be good for all us ladies that love group plays
and actually I should have said it was more 30plus guys that came over me.. mmmm it was great..
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I really dont care what vanillas think of me.. but then I find most swingers a bit vanilla most of the time lol
I joined this site to arrange group sessions and get fucked on cam for my Master and my pleasure... and to talk to like minded people.
Cali
Most swingers are vanilla if your view because you're extreme. As you have previously stated 20 men without condoms have cum all over you, that's not swinging. Slags,Sluts,Slaves are not what swinging for couples is about.
Oh you're classy.
Not really contributing very much here are you? Why not just let those who want to talk do so without throwing abuse about. Some of us actually understand what Cali is talking about"
One other point. You mention swinging for COUPLES? You're missing the point again. Its SWINGING. (see the full stop?). Read more about people before you post rants |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
"
I really dont care what vanillas think of me.. but then I find most swingers a bit vanilla most of the time lol
I joined this site to arrange group sessions and get fucked on cam for my Master and my pleasure... and to talk to like minded people.
Cali
Most swingers are vanilla if your view because you're extreme. As you have previously stated 20 men without condoms have cum all over you, that's not swinging. Slags,Sluts,Slaves are not what swinging for couples is about.
so tell me, oh mighty one with all the answers
whats the difference between a slut and a slag and a swinger?
Oh this will be good for all us ladies that love group plays
and actually I should have said it was more 30plus guys that came over me.. mmmm it was great..
Cali "
Stop rubbing it in 
Literally  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've achieved my goal, you've gone from "Ooh why do I do it, why do I treat people like this" to attacking me.
So we can assume you weren't really that concerned about yourselves in the first place lol. Thankyou, good night. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Personally, I do think it may have somethng to do with your previous relationships and maybe you both need a step back to see what you BOTH would like from the whol sub/master thing.
I havent a clue or understanding about subs n masters, but feel your relationshp is strong enough to discuss your feelngs. May sound a bit silly, but it seems a bit old fashioned gender reversal to me (if that makes sense) x"
Firstly thanks for the first bit.. but my posts I am sure would go over some peoples heads.. as would the wants of my profile. anyway.. everyone is here for their own reasons.. and I never judge others for their choices.
we really do talk a lot and Master is happiest when I am happy and enjoying things.. now I do enjoy it, but I am thinking that maybe I play how I do for the wrong reasons...
I think that Master and I talk a lot.. even today he has made sure that he has talked to me and he is thousands of miles away.. and knowing that I was feeling a bit confused penned me a long mail on his phone..
Making master makes me happy and he is happy whether I fuck and go.. or enjoy long lingering kisses and loads of foreplay.. its me that avoids the later.
Thanks though.. a good few comments have made sense and is helping me to get some things ready to discuss with master on his return.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
i do yeah
a slag is a word 15 year olds on a play ground use, swinger is a word adult use
There ya go then, problem solved."
in that case, get of the site your underage  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i very rarely do repeat meets, i can sometimes come over as being a little cold towards people on here
I dont think poeple on here view me as people in my real life, on here im just seen as a fuck so i act accordingly
I feel men on here meet me because they are just after someone to off load on so i give them that
of course how you have been treat in previous times will affect how you feel
I remember when i split from my ex he told me the only guys who would want me are desparate single guys who hadnt had a fuck for years, thats stuck with me for 4 years and every time i meet someone i think about what he said and all the time in the back of my mind im thinking does he like me or am i make do
The truth is i probably am just a make do i know there are far better looking women on here than me, so why meet me? answer....cause the good looking women are hard to meet, if you spend enough time being told your fat and ugly by someone whos supposed to love you how can you relax with anyone else. because in my mind if my own hubby thought that about me, what the fooks everyone else thinking, i never get naked when having sex, im so self conscious about my body,. but i spend years having all my inperfections pointed out to me, so how am i supposed to show myself to people?
words stick, you dont forget, and if you confidance is knocked enough you start to push that on other people even if you dont always realise it
i get told all the time to stop putting myself down, but to me i just feel like im saying what everyone else is thinking, its like a safty blanket for me, if i point out im fat and ugly others wont bother because they cant hurt you with words that you use about yourself
I dont know you cali but if your pervious relationship was anything like mine i can relate to why you only want to give and feel more comnfy staying dressed
then again it could be for a whole different set of reasons, you really have to know someone to give a opinion on such a subject x"
This is gonna be a bit of a pole axing moment for u then ............ when I first came on this site, your postings were some of the postings that most inspired me and certainly gave me the impression that u were well loved on here and confident - how u come across to others is nothing like u have just posted how u feel - and I know wot u said above is total honesty - it just goes to show that we don't always understand or know what other people think about us - carry on doing wot u do - and thats heartfelt from me without my usual silliness and stupidity xx |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
D'ya know what.... Think Cali n Master have got it a bit sussed.. they talk it over and do what they enjoy. But are willing to talk it over with each other too.
Sorry, I'll get over my CalinMaster relationshp fascination soon lol
Omg I am such a stalker lol (im not really, I just find it all fascinating from a dom/sub relationship nc friends etc ) x |
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I think it's trust u have a great relationship with master but one question you mentioned you get pictures just to show him what about you? Unfortunately any bad experiences tend to stick in your sub conscious and you feel that's all you are worth but you are not and sometimes these situations can be more damaging in the long term.
Maybe some soul searching and go with your feelings xxx
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Maybe you need to keep these chaps at arms length so that it clear to yourself and Master that there is no threat to your relationship with Master. The fact that you always want to show him pictures suggests that also, I think, in that you want him to feel included.
You appear to have been mistreated by men in the past, so maybe there is a desire to 'use' men as a way of redressing the balance of power? Maybe that is why it makes you feel uncomfortable when Master suggests you be more tactile with others...or maybe you feel your kisses and caresses should be kept just for him and that by sharing them out it could somehow be the thin end of the wedge to devaluing your relationship?
Just a few random thoughts, really. Don't know if they help or not, but hope they do.
I think it is normal for us to question why we do what we do from time. I figure, try to do what makes you happy without deliberately hurting anyone else. Hope things become a bit clearer for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not often I question myself.. Question why I do things the way I do... however I wanted to put something here in a genuine attempt to get to grips with something myself.
Whenever I have a meet its pretty much always little contact... all about me getting the cum as quick as I can... half the time I don't even get undressed... Now dont get me wrong.. the guys I am playing with always seem more than happy with this... And I love it.
However, every so often Master tries to encourage me to enjoy more than that... and I just struggle.
Now in contrast... Every girl Master fucks, he makes them feel good.. for that short time they have his undivided attention ( this is when I am not there obviously) Often its with a few drinks first etc... and flirting and touching... and to Master this is the norm.. as he wants to treat them with respect.
Now I get a bit Meh about this.. as I kinda think that its just sex.. why not just get her straight bent over.. etc etc.. Now Master tells me its because why shouldnt he make them feel good..and women would feel used if he did that..
Now my reply is " they know its just a fuck... so why dress it up"...
This i what I am struggling with... as am I wrong to feel that it doesnt matter if someone just is seen as a fuck...???
Master can instruct me to do foreplay, kissing etc etc... but the fact is I just feel its a waste of time.. when all I want is the cum...
I am starting to think that I have due to years of abuse before I met my master.. both mentally and physically... I take the cold option because to me its retaining the power.
I dont even know what I am asking.. I am just confused as to how I feel over this... as I can not understand the need to be dress up what I am wanting.
Cali "
yes it is a power thing for u and master is right to treat a women with respect a women can know its just sex and may enjoy being taken roughly but normally need something first to put them at easy with situation. women are wired to need phyiscal contact efore sex takes place to arouse them to excite them a few reasons. men are wired to cum they may like the intimacy but they need the end goal women don't need to cum to feel satsified xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
No one gives a shit, if you think the guy is leaving feeling used you're crazy lol. This is a SEX site, Not a romance dating site.
I am well aware on what it is.. but guys have said they feel used on this... I know its not a romance site.. as not looking for that.. but not everyone wants fuck and go.. and I am questioning my reasons for doing it..
Please read what has been said... I meet most weeks.. often more than one guy... So I am certainly enjoying my time.. The question is about the way I play... if you struggle to understand that its your issue not mine.
As someone that has been doing this successfully for many years.. I think I have a good understanding of what its about.
Cali
If you're questioning why you do this, then stop doing it for a while simple. If after a few months away you decide you want to continue doing it, then continue.
There is no unknown about this, its a sex site where like mined people find sexual partners. If that's what you 100% know you want then do it. If not then don't/
IT REALLY S THAT SIMPLE, We're all adults."
as u r just on this site to look and clearly feel the need to be really very rude to someone for i am not sure what reason other than u don't like her sexual practise may i suggest u r clearly looking in the wrong place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, up until 6 years ago i was just like you. NEVER wanted more contact than i needed, did gangbangs till they came out of my ears. Faceless fucks where faces just blurred into one, no kissing certainly no cuddling, a fuck was a fuck, now i didnt know it at the time but with hind sight the only reason i think I and im not saying is the case for anyone else think i behaved like that was because i was scared that i would get too close to someone, give them something i didnt want to give. Now im not saying that is true but that is the only logical answer i can give myself.
Now im secure in my relationship, when i have a meet i want to dress up, i want to spend the evening with them, i want a kiss and sometimes a bit of a cuddle. Im very fond of some of the guys i know but im confident enough now to know that i wont "fall" for them and i dont need to distance myself
see for me... before my Master.. I was pretty much used.. the guys loved that I loved sex all the time.. but it was pretty much that and little else.. In fact when I wanted to get cuddles my ex told me to get a cat..
I am encouraged and know that Master loves it on the odd occassion there is a connection and I enjoy more than just a fuck with a guy.. but I always find a way to make sure that for some reason we dont meet again.
Even when we have regular guys...the minute they start to like me.. I get rid.. even when we have a 3rd involved. I am very much.. He cant stay after sex... he cant spend the night.. 2 hours is long enough... I just keep them at a distance..
I to be fair find one on ones hard.. as in a group its much easier to just be how I want to be.. no expectations.
Cali "
i think u answer your own questions its a power thing a way to make sure u r never hurt u know master wouldn't hurt you so you r comfortable and trust him competely which is an amazing thing to find and therefore u one make sure you are protecting that and yourself i maybe wrong as i am not trained at all and just as i see it but hope it helps xxxx( and good luck with your training ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Myself i go with how i feel and at times swinging i dont feel alot so when i do and like ......... I can get lost in the sex for hours and days doing everything again and again .If i cum once and it good i just wish to do it over again and give myself to the SEX and mind and body .. its takes it to new levels for me.Just getting it over and done with do very little even if good and turned on , As i know what good sex is. A 5/10/20 min shag has a place i know just to get a sex fix .. But i cant help i am missing out on so much more.And when sex has been that good i am like on a sex high days after . |
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By *ts artMan
over a year ago
Londonderry |
Cali can i ask if this question of yourself and how you act is maybe part of a new stage of growth for you. Perhaps given the safe and nurturing relationship you are in with your master you are moving towards an even more self-positive position |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've tried to read through the whole thread and forgive me if this has been said before and I've missed it...I think the key point here is intimacy...you have a degree of intimacy with your master that you've never had with anyone before and don't feel the need to have with anyone else...while he does share something of himself with the other women he meets that you feel uncomfortable with...
To an extent-I completely understand it-before we were together full time and had agreed exclusivity-when mash met others i was always happier when i knew he had just fucked them as opposed to sharing intimacy with them-kissing, cuddling, drinking and dancing and especially staying the night...maybe I'm reading it wrong and I don't have any answers I'm afraid...I'm lucky in some ways that I belong to a community that understands I do not see him fucking someone else as a betrayal but I do sometimes find people here don't get that the sharing of intimacy is definitely a betrayal for me...I hope you find some resolution for it...it's uncomfortable to find yourself questioning what you felt what such a steadfast belief about yourself |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
If you are happy with what you get, and he is happy with what he gets, there isn't a problem. It's when you stop being happy that something may have to be done.
The fact is I dont think I am happy with it.. I love it at the time... but then I find myself questioning why.
Cali"
I haven't read the other posts or your responses to them but I do want to respond to this and your OP.
This offered in a sincere way and not a judgement of your choices and lifestyle.
I read your posts with interest. You have strong and trenchant opinions and are often incisive with your comments back to others.n Your advice to others is always to talk, talk and then talk some more.
The other side of that is to listen, listen and listen some more.
I don't know you or your master. I get a sense that you love him in ways that you could never have imagined before meeting him. I get the sense that he offers you a sense of security and belonging that you value and makes you feel, almost, whole.
Your OP suggests that your master understands that for most women being made to feel the centre of that sexual connection will get the best from them. He will give them what they need to get the best experience possible and he enjoys that.
Your response to that is interesting. I think you need to reflect on whether your feelings that they should 'just bend over' come from a fear that he might get attached to them or them to him. Your old insecurities have not been totally allayed.
The corrollary to that is that you keep yourself in group, quick situations for much the same reason. Your one to one belongs to him and knowing that he is the only one that you give that to makes it all the more of a gift and special.
There are lots of men that will just cum over you and appear to enjoy it but I suspect a fair number would like a bit more and would like to feel like an individual human being and not just a cock and scrotum full of cum.
There are very few people I ever want to spend the night with. There are very few I want to kiss as it takes me time to lower my barriers to allow a kiss. Those that I kiss and enjoy spending time with are the ones with which I have the best sex. It costs me emotionally to lower my barriers to allow this. I know I maintain other barriers to stop me getting close or allowing them to get close to me. I will go without meeting if I think I will end up feeling empty rather than fulfilled afterwards. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks to all. I will answer a bit more when not on my phone.
To be fair I have picked out a few points that have just made me think aha. So I will carry on thinking and working through it.
I'm lucky that I have a man that guides me and pushes me when I need it, yet when I'm struggling I am nurtured and reminded how special I am. To be fair it doesn't help that master seems to have problems with women falling for him. I know this had a fair few try and come between us. Yet we are stronger than ever.
It's hard for me as I've always had what I would call fuck and go sex. Even in relationships the guys would roll over after and there would be little or no intimacy. So I think it's overcoming a life time of issues.
Funny thing is I have had enough patients with similar problems To know what to advise. It's always different when it's yourself. I think sometimes I just over analyse things.
Thanks again and I think I have lots to be thinking about in a positive way. I have developed and changed so much for the better over last few years. And master has helped me overcome some real deep issues. So I think this is just maybe a natural progression. I mean 2 years ago I'd have never played in a public room with lots of guys.or had photos taken.
I appreciate the advice.
THANKS
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks to all. I will answer a bit more when not on my phone.
To be fair I have picked out a few points that have just made me think aha. So I will carry on thinking and working through it.
I'm lucky that I have a man that guides me and pushes me when I need it, yet when I'm struggling I am nurtured and reminded how special I am. To be fair it doesn't help that master seems to have problems with women falling for him. I know this had a fair few try and come between us. Yet we are stronger than ever.
It's hard for me as I've always had what I would call fuck and go sex. Even in relationships the guys would roll over after and there would be little or no intimacy. So I think it's overcoming a life time of issues.
Funny thing is I have had enough patients with similar problems To know what to advise. It's always different when it's yourself. I think sometimes I just over analyse things.
Thanks again and I think I have lots to be thinking about in a positive way. I have developed and changed so much for the better over last few years. And master has helped me overcome some real deep issues. So I think this is just maybe a natural progression. I mean 2 years ago I'd have never played in a public room with lots of guys.or had photos taken.
I appreciate the advice.
THANKS
Cali"
i think maybe u just need to trust you and believe in what u have and no that nothing is going to change between u and master if u enjoy the person you are with a bit more but think if you give yourself time you will get there as long as you enjoy what u do thats whats important xxx |
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To be honest, there are certain things i like doing, i did question myself for a while. Then when i realized i enjoyed what i was doing i stopped over anylizing the situation.
If you enjoy doing something one way and someone else enjoys it another way, noone is right or wrong, they just go about it differently |
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Cali
you should know better than to use the word normal and to make comparisons of wrong and right .
you know full well a fuck is not just a fuck and repeatedly telling yourself it is will not change a fact .
in essence , it is pleasure we are all seeking , however its base line is a release of hormones and chemicals such as dopimene (sp) and endorphines the release of these chemicals and triggers are many fold and compound meer thinking can produce them . It seems you Have adapted to gain your rush from a psychological trigger of men cuming for you equal to if not beyond that of a physicaly induced rush x
the power of the mind to produce or stop production of these chemicals is strong thus your powerful mind set insisting sex is sex will release other drugs and create neural pathways not condusive to what you perceive as pleasure
oddly enough my experience is you are one of a significant number of ladies who for any number of control issues
Will not allow their brains to fully relax into experiencing the potential pleasure their body can , it seem s a counter pleasure is derived from the feeling of strength to resist and the hormones released if they fail are ones of failing
its a chemical battle and the mind is playing a leading roll so for some women for their high they fairly need there mind to be seduced before their pussy and I must say for me I enjoy that part of sex equally to that of fucking the2 second muscle spasm that results in spunk has little interest for me .
I rarely go for spunk chasers as they, tend only to be interested in an end result a destination where I prefer an erotic journey
thing is cal its not at all about sex its about dopamine ,and that is normal the route to its release well there is not one there are hundreds you have found one for you and master another my self another quite a few actually x
be happy Hunny x |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Cali
you should know better than to use the word normal and to make comparisons of wrong and right .
you know full well a fuck is not just a fuck and repeatedly telling yourself it is will not change a fact .
in essence , it is pleasure we are all seeking , however its base line is a release of hormones and chemicals such as dopimene (sp) and endorphines the release of these chemicals and triggers are many fold and compound meer thinking can produce them . It seems you Have adapted to gain your rush from a psychological trigger of men cuming for you equal to if not beyond that of a physicaly induced rush x
the power of the mind to produce or stop production of these chemicals is strong thus your powerful mind set insisting sex is sex will release other drugs and create neural pathways not condusive to what you perceive as pleasure
oddly enough my experience is you are one of a significant number of ladies who for any number of control issues
Will not allow their brains to fully relax into experiencing the potential pleasure their body can , it seem s a counter pleasure is derived from the feeling of strength to resist and the hormones released if they fail are ones of failing
its a chemical battle and the mind is playing a leading roll so for some women for their high they fairly need there mind to be seduced before their pussy and I must say for me I enjoy that part of sex equally to that of fucking the2 second muscle spasm that results in spunk has little interest for me .
I rarely go for spunk chasers as they, tend only to be interested in an end result a destination where I prefer an erotic journey
thing is cal its not at all about sex its about dopamine ,and that is normal the route to its release well there is not one there are hundreds you have found one for you and master another my self another quite a few actually x
be happy Hunny x "
A very thoughtful and interesting post. |
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