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By *Booboo- OP Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
Hi
I'm very new to the whole swingers game. My wife and I agreed to open up our relationship because although we are an awesome couple, we just aren't that compatible in bed.
I've been in relationships most of my life and have never really just gone out and enjoyed sex for the sake of enjoyment.
Now I'm not saying I don't want to experience some new things in the future as I'm quite open to trying most things but i feel like I need to walk and get comfortable having fun with others before I try to run.
The issue I have is that everyone in the swingers community seems to be very experienced, very comfortable with their sexuality and have a list of kinks as long as their arm.
Is it just that the more adventurous ones are more vocal and there's actually a lot of swingers out there who like more vanilla or is everyone like that and I just need to saddle up and get on with it?
Interested to hear your thoughts.
Ta
Bobbo
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No is the quick answer.
Swingers are the same as everyone else some are kinky, some are vanilla but enjoy sex with a variety of people.
In fact, I would say most people on here aren't very kink oriented at all, there's specialist sites for that.
I suppose it depends on your definition of kink. If you consider anal and threesomes as very kinky, then you'll have a different perspective. |
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By *Booboo- OP Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"No is the quick answer.
Swingers are the same as everyone else some are kinky, some are vanilla but enjoy sex with a variety of people.
In fact, I would say most people on here aren't very kink oriented at all, there's specialist sites for that.
I suppose it depends on your definition of kink. If you consider anal and threesomes as very kinky, then you'll have a different perspective. "
Yeah, that's a good point. I suppose the definition is very different from person to person. |
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By *Booboo- OP Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"You should try clubs. If your wife is also meeting others you could go together but play separately or even play together with others "
This has been suggested before. My wife has been sending links for me to go along to some clubs to go and try.  . As a newbie to this way of thinking that still feels a bit weird, but nice that we are open.  |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
Guess it depends on definition of "kink". My kink is probably the watching of Char, so that's a kink that fits perfectly within swinging.
Char has more BDSM focussed kinks (impact play, rope, and others) but they are saved for people that she's met a few times and is more comfortable with. First meets are always pretty vanilla, really, and I don't think we're unusual in that, so don't stress about it.
(Bry) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You should try clubs. If your wife is also meeting others you could go together but play separately or even play together with others
This has been suggested before. My wife has been sending links for me to go along to some clubs to go and try. . As a newbie to this way of thinking that still feels a bit weird, but nice that we are open. "
Clubs are great. The ones we’ve been to are just like normal bars but all have a completely separate area to play in. You could go together and just treat it like a night out. Have a few drinks and socialise, if you like anyone go to the play area, if not either play together or go home. We’ve been going for a few years now and only play with others about 50% of the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi
I'm very new to the whole swingers game. My wife and I agreed to open up our relationship because although we are an awesome couple, we just aren't that compatible in bed.
I've been in relationships most of my life and have never really just gone out and enjoyed sex for the sake of enjoyment.
Now I'm not saying I don't want to experience some new things in the future as I'm quite open to trying most things but i feel like I need to walk and get comfortable having fun with others before I try to run.
The issue I have is that everyone in the swingers community seems to be very experienced, very comfortable with their sexuality and have a list of kinks as long as their arm.
Is it just that the more adventurous ones are more vocal and there's actually a lot of swingers out there who like more vanilla or is everyone like that and I just need to saddle up and get on with it?
Interested to hear your thoughts.
Ta
Bobbo
"
Genuinely curious in what respect and you not compatible in bed with your wife?
If its a lack of appropriate skills / techniques could these be learned via watching her (or her watching you) with other lovers?
KJ |
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By *Booboo- OP Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
" First meets are always pretty vanilla, really, and I don't think we're unusual in that, so don't stress about it.
(Bry)"
Thanks Bry. I didn't think that I'd be straight into a dungeon, but it's always good to know that it's a steady path in.
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By *Booboo- OP Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"You should try clubs. If your wife is also meeting others you could go together but play separately or even play together with others
This has been suggested before. My wife has been sending links for me to go along to some clubs to go and try. . As a newbie to this way of thinking that still feels a bit weird, but nice that we are open.
Clubs are great. The ones we’ve been to are just like normal bars but all have a completely separate area to play in. You could go together and just treat it like a night out. Have a few drinks and socialise, if you like anyone go to the play area, if not either play together or go home. We’ve been going for a few years now and only play with others about 50% of the time."
That's good to hear.
I think I'll mostly be chatting and socialising to start with, and then see where it goes once I get a bit more comfortable.
I think we'll be mostly playing separately at the moment as that's part of the excitement of it all. |
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By *Booboo- OP Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"
Genuinely curious in what respect and you not compatible in bed with your wife?
If its a lack of appropriate skills / techniques could these be learned via watching her (or her watching you) with other lovers?
KJ"
The compatibility issue is that the sexual attraction and drive has mostly gone between us right now so we're looking to open our horizons a little and see where it goes. Every other part of our relationship is perfect and so we thought we'd inject a little excitement into it and that hopefully feeds back into our home sex life, while experiencing things along the way. |
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