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Black swingers
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would love to hear the experiences of some black couples and singles females of the scene. Particularly experiences with other black people."
Interesting to see if this gets any responses! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"it would be the same as white people being black green or blue wouldn't make any difference
We wondering what response will be if other skin colour couple will post the same…"
So do I... |
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"it would be the same as white people being black green or blue wouldn't make any difference"
You'd think so, wouldn't you? I'd have thought that a subcultural community like swinging would be welcoming and inclusive by it's very nature, but some of the posts, discussions, rants and remarks on here seem to suggest quite the opposite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We live in a multicultural society what difference does skin colour make. We are all the same on the inside. Whether it in body or brain we a have our own beauty no matter who it is. Some people on here begged belief in infuriates me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We live in a multicultural society what difference does skin colour make. We are all the same on the inside. Whether it in body or brain we a have our own beauty no matter who it is. Some people on here begged belief in infuriates me "
Begger |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To those that have said it makes no difference I simply all have this spoken to any black people about this? The conversations I've had are a bit different to what you are saying?
I merely wanted to open a discussion, create a space. No intent to offend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interested in hearing about their experiences as well, I don't think I've seen one all couple on this site tbh, a few mixed race couples. So as a black person myself I'm curious about their experiences. |
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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"We live in a multicultural society what difference does skin colour make. We are all the same on the inside. Whether it in body or brain we a have our own beauty no matter who it is. Some people on here begged belief in infuriates me "
Agreed x |
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By *moretwoCouple
over a year ago
Feltham |
"Less interested in the playing. More interesnot ted about people's experiences in the lifestyle.
And out of interest did you ask them how they felt?"
With any meet you don't ask people how was that for you.
It's pretty easy to work that one out lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok fair. We are now to the scene and some of the nicest people we've spoken to have talked about the importance of socials and that they've made friends and even partners whilst being a part of the lifestyle.
For a quick bang of course I don't expect a detailed debrief. Ha
Everyone has a different experience of course. |
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"it would be the same as white people being black green or blue wouldn't make any difference"
It will make a pretty significant difference as it does in every area of life in the UK or like the difference in the experiences men and women have on fab . |
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Hiya
I can only speak for myself as part of a couple and having a single profile as a black woman but I have found the fab experience quite up and down but mostly it can be difficult as a direct result of being black.
Just be prepared, people online tend to forget their filters but that can also be a blessing and a good use of the block button.
Just stay true to you yourself and just like in real life watch for those red flags
Bx |
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I know this isn’t going to go down well but I have two black female fwbs on fab both of whom have an attraction preference for white men. However both have said to me in the past that making that preference visible on there profiles has landed them with serious abuse from both black and white males.
I am also conscious that as a proportion of the U.K. population black and ethnic female membership of fab does not mirror that at all. |
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By *willfindyouWoman
over a year ago
Not looking to meet new peeps. |
"We live in a multicultural society what difference does skin colour make. We are all the same on the inside. Whether it in body or brain we a have our own beauty no matter who it is. Some people on here begged belief in infuriates me "
 |
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I don’t get all this negativity about the question and/or the misguided virtue signalling. Its almost as if people are blind or don't want to see that for many your skin colour does have an effect on your experience of the world and how you are treated by others, even if its very subtle and unconscious. Personally I think its a perfectly legitimate questions aimed at others who tend not to be the ones butting in on here. I don't know where people get off telling other people off for investigating the nuances of their experiences based on there race. I'm sorry but sadly we don't live in a colour blind society and culture and its natural for people to seek experiences and support from others who share the same experiences. |
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"I don’t think it is the same regardless of skin colour actually, so this is a relatively valid question
Interesting. What's your experience been?"
It’s not been bad but the same time my ‘ask’ from the site is very unique so maybe I’m not best placed give validity one way or the other.
I would expect that the experience of your average white male/couple will vary massive from your average black or asian male or couple.
Let’s ask ourselves to just imagine the experience of your average black male vs the average asian male on here. You don’t need to actually type a response, but then wonder if racism, stereotypes, psychology and all other factors don’t play a part in some way in each of our experiences here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s very narrow minded to say the experience won’t be different regardless of colour. Even with the most open minded people on the world, experiences will always be different. Don’t disregard it just because the subject of colour makes you uncomfortable  it’s just reality, it isn’t meant to stir up problems.
Even I find I have a slight different experience to other attractive single females on here. And I say that because I know that there is interest in my profile but an attractive white single female will fair better on here than I would in terms of messages/interest. I said what I said. That doesn’t make it a bad experience though because I’ve had good experiences on fab. But as someone said before, as a woman of colour who typically tends to go for white men, it comes with difficulties because guys I may find attractive, I may not be there type. Also, I often get told guys “wouldn’t think I’d go for them because they’re not black” so they instantly pigeon-hole and avoid me when it’s not the case  |
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"I don’t get all this negativity about the question and/or the misguided virtue signalling. Its almost as if people are blind or don't want to see that for many your skin colour does have an effect on your experience of the world and how you are treated by others, even if its very subtle and unconscious. Personally I think its a perfectly legitimate questions aimed at others who tend not to be the ones butting in on here. I don't know where people get off telling other people off for investigating the nuances of their experiences based on there race. I'm sorry but sadly we don't live in a colour blind society and culture and its natural for people to seek experiences and support from others who share the same experiences."
Well said. |
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"To those that have said it makes no difference I simply all have this spoken to any black people about this? The conversations I've had are a bit different to what you are saying?
I merely wanted to open a discussion, create a space. No intent to offend."
It's an excellent post OP, so often race culture is dominated by white people offering a simplistic view often based on their experiences as white people!
I'm in an odd position, a middle aged white woman, with 'black' children (that's how they describe themselves) and a black husband who introduced me to this lifestyle when we were students.
He no longer plays himself due to some dehumanising experiences where he was objectified and regarded as a 'thing', rather than a sentient being.
This culture is promoted by the producers of pornography and indeed (some) black men are prepared to compromise some self respect and play that particular game.
Generally the swinging community is great, with some wonderful people involved in it but it's not quite as enlightened as many would like us to believe  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it’s very narrow minded to say the experience won’t be different regardless of colour. Even with the most open minded people on the world, experiences will always be different. Don’t disregard it just because the subject of colour makes you uncomfortable it’s just reality, it isn’t meant to stir up problems.
Even I find I have a slight different experience to other attractive single females on here. And I say that because I know that there is interest in my profile but an attractive white single female will fair better on here than I would in terms of messages/interest. I said what I said. That doesn’t make it a bad experience though because I’ve had good experiences on fab. But as someone said before, as a woman of colour who typically tends to go for white men, it comes with difficulties because guys I may find attractive, I may not be there type. Also, I often get told guys “wouldn’t think I’d go for them because they’re not black” so they instantly pigeon-hole and avoid me when it’s not the case "
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To those that have said it makes no difference I simply all have this spoken to any black people about this? The conversations I've had are a bit different to what you are saying?
I merely wanted to open a discussion, create a space. No intent to offend.
It's an excellent post OP, so often race culture is dominated by white people offering a simplistic view often based on their experiences as white people!
I'm in an odd position, a middle aged white woman, with 'black' children (that's how they describe themselves) and a black husband who introduced me to this lifestyle when we were students.
He no longer plays himself due to some dehumanising experiences where he was objectified and regarded as a 'thing', rather than a sentient being.
This culture is promoted by the producers of pornography and indeed (some) black men are prepared to compromise some self respect and play that particular game.
Generally the swinging community is great, with some wonderful people involved in it but it's not quite as enlightened as many would like us to believe "
Thanks for sharing. This is really interesting. I think theirs an assumption that black men have it all in the scene but there is little talk about the someone dehumanising way black men are viewed. For someone to state that as the reason for leaving the scene is really really interesting to me and very sad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Watching this thread with interest!
As others have said its difficult discussion to have about race and swinging and percentages of who reflect what and preference etc. Many do not like discussing it.
Sometimes it feels like if you’re happy to keep quiet, and fit in the little fetish niche, all is ok in the world of swinging. I get messages and wonder how genuine they are, do the like me for me, or is it because i’m black and its something ‘exotic to try’. On the whole my experiences have been mostly good, but the handful bad time really have been unsettling.
The internet certainly gives people the balls to say things they wouldn't say to your face. Away from fab, in swingers clubs or parties or socials - i’ve never felt odd or out of place because of my colour. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Watching this thread with interest!
As others have said its difficult discussion to have about race and swinging and percentages of who reflect what and preference etc. Many do not like discussing it.
Sometimes it feels like if you’re happy to keep quiet, and fit in the little fetish niche, all is ok in the world of swinging. I get messages and wonder how genuine they are, do the like me for me, or is it because i’m black and its something ‘exotic to try’. On the whole my experiences have been mostly good, but the handful bad time really have been unsettling.
The internet certainly gives people the balls to say things they wouldn't say to your face. Away from fab, in swingers clubs or parties or socials - i’ve never felt odd or out of place because of my colour. "
Thank you for sharing x |
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By *ashaPCouple
over a year ago
derby |
We are enjoying it.
Yes u get ppl who fetishise us… but it’s all a kink n if we wanna play to it we do if not we dnt.
But on the whole it’s been very liberating and the majority are accepting.
A reflection of real life really |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We are enjoying it.
Yes u get ppl who fetishise us… but it’s all a kink n if we wanna play to it we do if not we dnt.
But on the whole it’s been very liberating and the majority are accepting.
A reflection of real life really "
Thank you for sharing. I think overall people feelings are positive but it's good to hear it from others.
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By *atenaWoman
over a year ago
Hyde |
"Would love to hear the experiences of some black couples and singles females of the scene. Particularly experiences with other black people."
You joined 7 weeks ago.... what has your experiences been?
Good to pose a question but also good to answer it if you can? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would love to hear the experiences of some black couples and singles females of the scene. Particularly experiences with other black people.
You joined 7 weeks ago.... what has your experiences been?
Good to pose a question but also good to answer it if you can?"
Fair enough.
On here mostly fine but a few of the messages have fetishised us. The typical, I've never been with a... Comments about being exotic. So we've reached out to them black people on here and other sites and they've had similar stories, talked about the scene being white dominated etc.
In person we've had good experiences but there's a certain indescribable look which makes you feel like your different.
But I've got to state our experience overall has been good. But it's nice to hear from other black people. As you can see from some of the comments in this thread doing that in the open could be very isolating or worse. |
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Isn’t it about preference?
Everyone has their own preferences, and what they are looking for on here.
On the whole, the number of white people on here far out weigh black or Asian.
Why can some one not ask a question with out knobish replies?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im sure that yous will cum accross some lovely black guys and girls on here x yous are only new here. Hopefully yous will get a few comments in your thread. I will be watching out for them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Isn’t it about preference?
Everyone has their own preferences, and what they are looking for on here.
On the whole, the number of white people on here far out weigh black or Asian.
Why can some one not ask a question with out knobish replies?
"
Everyone has their preferences of course and here is certainly a place to express that. But here, like is becoming increasingly evident is just a reflection of society.
Very quickly we are made very aware of our blackness, by some, before anything else and that is an experience in this, country only a person of colour can truly understand.
I started this thread asking about experiences from black swingers, ask yourself why are all the negative comments from non black people?
The comments from the black people in this thread are definitely worth reading before getting offended IMO.
Or just fuck and don't care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone who has been in the scene for over ten years. I have a few stories to tell.
Being a black guy in the lifestyle has certain advantages, that if you play your cards right can open many doors for you.
I found being clean, articulate, and having good manners has gotten me further in the lifestyle than my cock size.
Now the bad side.
As all things with the black community we have no unity in this lifestyle. The amount of drama I have run into from black people in this lifestyle is unbelievable.
First thing I noticed is if a black guy is bi. He will be vilified for being bi/gay and meant to feel shame from other black people. BUT THESE SAME BLACK PEOPLE will play with couples with bi husbands.
Second: Playing with black couples
I’ve played with 6 black couples and the male half always gave off a pimp vibe. Demanding this or that pre meeting and directing/talking the whole time we were having sex.
Third racist people:
I never talk politics before or during a meeting. But turn down someone from a different race and you can go from their dream guy to the worst N word in a minute.
Lastly, black females in the lifestyle. I have only encountered 2 types. One that only play’s with white men and the other that only play’s with black men. It never bothered me because I believe to live and let live.
Overall swinging as a black man was great. Just don’t get caught up in the hype and never take yourself too serious.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As someone who has been in the scene for over ten years. I have a few stories to tell.
Being a black guy in the lifestyle has certain advantages, that if you play your cards right can open many doors for you.
I found being clean, articulate, and having good manners has gotten me further in the lifestyle than my cock size.
Now the bad side.
As all things with the black community we have no unity in this lifestyle. The amount of drama I have run into from black people in this lifestyle is unbelievable.
First thing I noticed is if a black guy is bi. He will be vilified for being bi/gay and meant to feel shame from other black people. BUT THESE SAME BLACK PEOPLE will play with couples with bi husbands.
Second: Playing with black couples
I’ve played with 6 black couples and the male half always gave off a pimp vibe. Demanding this or that pre meeting and directing/talking the whole time we were having sex.
Third racist people:
I never talk politics before or during a meeting. But turn down someone from a different race and you can go from their dream guy to the worst N word in a minute.
Lastly, black females in the lifestyle. I have only encountered 2 types. One that only play’s with white men and the other that only play’s with black men. It never bothered me because I believe to live and let live.
Overall swinging as a black man was great. Just don’t get caught up in the hype and never take yourself too serious.
"
Thank you! Pimp vibes lol |
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My partner and I have considered swinging however have been put off people seeing black men / women as a fetish. There is a difference between being attracted to a black man / woman and having a relationship, and just fucking a black man / woman to satisfy a fetish.
I am a white man, my partner is a black woman. It would be violating if we had a MMF threesome with another white man, who just wanted to see what it was like to have sex with a black woman.
If we were to try swinging we probably would do it with a black couple, man or woman to avoid people looking to satisfy their kinks if that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those that have said it makes no difference I simply all have this spoken to any black people about this? The conversations I've had are a bit different to what you are saying?
I merely wanted to open a discussion, create a space. No intent to offend."
Very touchy sensitive area for most. Even at large. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those that have said it makes no difference I simply all have this spoken to any black people about this? The conversations I've had are a bit different to what you are saying?
I merely wanted to open a discussion, create a space. No intent to offend.
Why
Very touchy sensitive area for most. Even at large."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those that have said it makes no difference I simply all have this spoken to any black people about this? The conversations I've had are a bit different to what you are saying?
I merely wanted to open a discussion, create a space. No intent to offend.
It's an excellent post OP, so often race culture is dominated by white people offering a simplistic view often based on their experiences as white people!
I'm in an odd position, a middle aged white woman, with 'black' children (that's how they describe themselves) and a black husband who introduced me to this lifestyle when we were students.
He no longer plays himself due to some dehumanising experiences where he was objectified and regarded as a 'thing', rather than a sentient being.
This culture is promoted by the producers of pornography and indeed (some) black men are prepared to compromise some self respect and play that particular game.
Generally the swinging community is great, with some wonderful people involved in it but it's not quite as enlightened as many would like us to believe "
DITTO. 110%.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Isn’t it about preference?
Everyone has their own preferences, and what they are looking for on here.
On the whole, the number of white people on here far out weigh black or Asian.
Why can some one not ask a question with out knobish replies?
Everyone has their preferences of course and here is certainly a place to express that. But here, like is becoming increasingly evident is just a reflection of society.
Very quickly we are made very aware of our blackness, by some, before anything else and that is an experience in this, country only a person of colour can truly understand.
I started this thread asking about experiences from black swingers, ask yourself why are all the negative comments from non black people?
The comments from the black people in this thread are definitely worth reading before getting offended IMO.
Or just fuck and don't care. "
Very Valid, and has been touched upon and unlined right here in your segment.. the core is as it is. And what it is. The number in Dominant and will always be at the fore in all walks of Society till the end. |
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"Isn’t it about preference?
Everyone has their own preferences, and what they are looking for on here.
On the whole, the number of white people on here far out weigh black or Asian.
Why can some one not ask a question with out knobish replies?
"
'Isn't it just a preference', is a benign reaction to an offer, but isn't the issue about what's motivating the preference? Preference is often the simplistic response when questions like this are raised.
Not all people who express a racial preference are racists or fetishists, but all racists or racial fetishists certainly will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those that have said it makes no difference I simply all have this spoken to any black people about this? The conversations I've had are a bit different to what you are saying?
I merely wanted to open a discussion, create a space. No intent to offend."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all
Thanks for ALL your posts. I've thing that I can say is in a world where things are becoming ever more siloed and people live in echo chambers. We've certainly got a diversity of opinion and experience here!
We've learned a lot in the last 24 hours, the main thing we'll take is get to know people. We have no intention of jumping into bed with someone that sees us as a fetish or has a deep seeded resentment for us.
We hope black people in this crazy place can use this thread as a bit of a safe haven to share their experiences in the lifestyle and if you want to chat with us directly, feel free to drop a message.
R and J x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im sure that yous will cum accross some lovely black guys and girls on here x yous are only new here. Hopefully yous will get a few comments in your thread. I will be watching out for them "
The word 'yous'?
Interesting........ |
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