FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Not in it for ......
Not in it for ......
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By *-and-K OP Couple
over a year ago
Back of Beyond |
1 night stands.
How many profiles have this on? While we tend to agree with it (swinging is about friendship as well as sex), we would like nothing better than to have swinger friends close by who we can meet often.
The sheer fact of the matter for most people, does actually mean many meetings will be 1 night stands. Everyone agree with this synopsis?
For instance, we have met 3 couples recently who we would love to have as close friends. But the distance involved, 60 miles or so, just means you can't see each other every couple of days or so, and not just for sex but for social too. Its not like you are popping down the street like you do with you vanilla friends is it?
We are still working on finding the elusive couple close by that we can socialise with as well has have sex.
So how many are in it just for the sex and how many of us place importance on forming a long friendship as well??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have 3 couples we have played with more than once and see them on a semi regular basis. Not sure we would want people that live on our doorstep though!
Some just want as much sex with different people as they can, fair play to them, we would prefer a smaller cliche we can see as often as possible. Feeling comfortable with couples that we already know is important to us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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personally i prefure not to meet people regular, i like meeting new people as i like having 'sex for the first time' regular meets just get boring in my opinion and to be honest im not really looking for people to meet on a social level, but that does not mean i dont care if i get on with someone or not, i will always meet someone for a drink first befor i decide if i want to play with them but i wouldnt meet someone just for a drink simple becaise im a single mother of 3 children who works full time on nights, which mean due to them being at school in the day and me at work at night i dont spend as much time with them as id like to there for if i have spare time i spend it with my kids not down the pub with some guy for a drink, but i still have a sex drive so will find time to meet guys for sex, its very hard to ballance things sometimes but anything can be done with planning lol |
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By *-and-K OP Couple
over a year ago
Back of Beyond |
Thats exactly what we mean frankfurter, quality in a small circle of friends. People you can meet for a social night without it turning sexual. You can meet and have a laugh and talk about all things sexual, stuff you can't do with vanilla friends.
Up to now as we said, we have found several couples like this, but they all live too far away to be friends you can meet every week. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Appreciate what you are saying, ideally you would want couples that live quite near, our closest couple are an hour away, like i said im not sure i would want them on our doorstep though xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have met quite a few couples and all have been from afar strangely we cant seem to find anyone local really either. like you wed prefer to meet one or two couples localy we could all have fun with from time to time and socialise but alas so far nada !..however the one night stands we have had have been great too ,as its always exciting to meet new people and discover what they are like and so on.So any takers i kent msg us lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couples on our doorstep  Nor for us, not in any shape or from.
30 minutes away would be great but currently we travel well over an hour to meet with long term friends and that is exactly how and they like it. We are very good friends with them but we are good friends that swing.
For us there is a very distinct line in the sand between our vanilla and swinging lives and that is always how it will be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couples on our doorstep Nor for us, not in any shape or from.
30 minutes away would be great but currently we travel well over an hour to meet with long term friends and that is exactly how and they like it. We are very good friends with them but we are good friends that swing.
For us there is a very distinct line in the sand between our vanilla and swinging lives and that is always how it will be."
Absolutely spot on bonks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
While its nice to make lovely friends and we have been lucky enough to do that,I don't want to play with them all the time
I don't want our swinging sex life to become vanilla which is why I love meeting new people too, sometimes you can have THE most amazing night with people that you would like to repeat but for what ever reasons it will only ever be a one off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But isn't this one of the dilemmas of swinging?
On the one hand it's supposed to be about casual, dispassionate encounters, but on the other, it's a human trait to want to make friends. But what's the point of having supposed friends if you only see them once in a blue moon?
And then there's the little matter of sex! It's generally accepted that good and better sex is about getting to know the person, finding their 'buttons', and pressing them!!!
Questions, questions, but are there any definitive answers?? lol |
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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago
Notting |
I think it all depends on circumstance really and time etc.
I have had a few one nighters, which have been great fun, but then also others that are more regualr as playMATES that are just as much fun.
I do drive a fair way to my meets sometimes, up to 50miles (and on the odd occaison alot more ) once i was doing 40miles each way on a regular basis, for about 3 months till it died off. Not a problem, if you like someone and you wanna make an effort then you go all out dont you
Harder when they are further away then that - and kids and stuff can also get in the way. But hey, enjoy what you can !!! |
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when meeting people with OH we tend to prefer to stick to a few regular guys who we know will turn up and make a daned good job of the night lol
OH has some regular meets, but he works in different parts of the country, so meets new people
I like meeting the same people too, well if they've been good and we've spent as much time laughing as having sex .... but never averse to meeting a cutie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have more couples come to our house on a regular basis that we have never played with than those that we have played with.
It is a weekly occurence for non-playing-with-us friends to call in here for a coffee on thier way to and from chameleons, we love socialising with them, and look forward to thier visits.
When we arrange a meet that we hope will turn into play we are not dissapointed if it doesn't because we know that at the very least we will have made some new friends.
As a couple and even as a single male in the past I have been on holiday with couples with whom I/we will never play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After reading this i still fail to see why some people insist that swinging and casual sex...be it with virtual strangers or old established friends, are different things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been seeing my FB for over 18mths now and am exclusive to him at present .
Mainly because it suits.
I just cant be bothered to go through the rigmarole of meeting and getting to know someone new.
Call it lazy ...whatever
And i dont rule out meeting anyone new but at present im happy with what we have and fully satisfied sexually. 
I do prefer friendship along with sexual compatibilty, instead of a wham bam situation |
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"After reading this i still fail to see why some people insist that swinging and casual sex...be it with virtual strangers or old established friends, are different things."
Swingers seek to distance themselves from casual sex because of the negative connotations associated with promiscuity etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading this i still fail to see why some people insist that swinging and casual sex...be it with virtual strangers or old established friends, are different things.
Swingers seek to distance themselves from casual sex because of the negative connotations associated with promiscuity etc."
I understand that...but surely it's the same thing...swinging just has a nicer sounding label! |
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"After reading this i still fail to see why some people insist that swinging and casual sex...be it with virtual strangers or old established friends, are different things.
Swingers seek to distance themselves from casual sex because of the negative connotations associated with promiscuity etc.
I understand that...but surely it's the same thing...swinging just has a nicer sounding label!"
Yeah, that's what I said. |
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we nar a cpl used to meet maybe 2 times every 6 weeks with a single lad then the lad dropped s in to there home when they had family over the lass oot the cpl was shocked as in meets its all aranged beforehand but the lad just dropped in on them the lass dropped oot the scene for quite a bit he only dropped in on the off chance for a cuppa but ppl do have other lifes apart from swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We love great casual sex .... With good friends.
Friends with added benefits as is often said.. We have shared holidays, weekends away.. Normal nights out and sometimes, weirdly to some maybe even have them stay and No sex lol..
Each to their own eh...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People have different definitions of 'friend'.
Some people have lots of 'friends'. Some people only have one or two.
For us, distance doesn't come in to it. We only have a few real friends between us and they live all over the UK. I personally believe a lot of people class their friends as I would aquaintences. We'd do anything in our powers for our real friends and nothing that inconveniences us for aquaintences.
We're happy to say we've met a couple on here whom we've spent more time with during the daytime in public than at night time undressed.
We include the "looking for friends" comment in our profile because basically we are INCREDIBLY fussy about whom we spend our absolutely precious time with.
I'd rather be on my own than have small-talk with someone on even a slightly different wavelength to me.
I am actually quite outgoing and get on fine with pretty much anyone, but only when I'm in someone else's time. I don't have an inner circle - I have one very small diameter circle. My real friends are inside it and everyone else is outside it.
I wont waste my private time on anyone on the outside.
Hope that's an insight into the mind of an intellectual snob |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well us it is just about the fun and we use the chat rooms as our soical end of things as we are very busy outside the swinging circle
but as we spend a lot of time in the chat rooms people dont belive us that we have a life off the site.
we have kids so find it hard to find people to disscuss the sexual things that we like and having own business means we work strange hours.
so chat rooms and once offs are our thing as it adds to excitement |
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We go with the flow, if peeps want to remain in contact with us fair enough, if they don't so be it, we still have each other, we can do one night stands as well as long term relationships, we've had several meets from this site which don't show on our verifications list, the reason being we only meet M/F couples, some of the M/F couples we've meet are not what's posted on their profile i.e. the guy on some M/F profiles claim to be straight, to be fair to those couples we've meet, they've explained why they state the guy is “straight” on their profile, at the end of the day, it's what each couple are comfortable with, we treat each meet as it being the 1st and last time we'll see them, it a friendship materialises from our meet all well and good, we expect nothing from any meet |
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