FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What if the man doesn't cum?
What if the man doesn't cum?
Jump to: Newest in thread
An interesting topic of conversation between D and myself earlier today.
Seen plenty of forum posts where female's comment that they don't always climax during a sexual interaction, the usual male bravado that it would never happen on their watch and the typical back and forth cockfighting about which alpha should get the chance to try!
But what about when the tables are turned? What about when, for whatever reason, the male doesn't manage to climax during a sexual interaction?
Male orgasm is often depicted, in TV, film, porn, literature as the typical end to a sexual encounter.
Is it considered a failure in the same way as when a woman doesn't climax?
No hate or disparaging comments please, just an open debate on this horrible Friday afternoon  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't see it as a failure, it happens sometimes. There's a lot of pressure for guys to perform and it's our job as women to not make a big deal of it if it happens. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
One of my early FWB on here would never orgasm on a meet. We talked it over and he reassured me he was still enjoying himself, completely fine.
It's something I'd like to discuss because otherwise I would certainly overthink things and decide he just didn't find me arousing and actually he wasn't having fun.
I orgasm so easily that it's difficult for me to understand someone having fun without an orgasm as the end result. That's entirely my issue, but it can lead to me questioning myself and it can really do a number on my confidence.
At the root of it all I just need to know my partner is enjoying himself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I'm nervous at clubs then I find I might not be able to cum. Or if I've been trying to not cum all night then I find it difficult to let it go 
If I realise this then I'll wrap things up instead of watching Steph fruitlessly beat my cock for ages. It's no big problem for us either way.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've found sometimes when I've held back from cumming I find it difficult to then cum when I want to. But this happening has nothing to do with the women I'm with its just how my body works but I'm happy to keep on going not just for her pleasure for my own too. It's like being edged with no climax at the end I need like 20 mins to come down reset and go and then I can blow in minutes if I want to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
With me it can be one extreme to the other, if I haven't had sex for a week or so I'll go off quick as anything, but if I have regular sex then I can get to the point that I've lost sensitivity and hence don't always cum (or run out)
But it doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I ( him) often won't cum when we play , it's always been the same for me , I get a lot of mental satisfaction from giving pleasure and it means I don't really suffer from the fairly typical male " I've cum so now it's time to stop" scenario , which means a longer session is the norm for us .
I would sometimes like to have that quickie experience though, that has happened a few times but not that regularly.
Often when we play again later or the next day I will cum, also the longer I go with out actually cumming then the stronger the urge becomes to want to,often we play most days and it seems fairly normal for me to cum about 50% of the time, I think probably for me it's a head thing, if I'm completely in the zone then it's easier to cum, but if any distractions get in my head , like wondering if the kids can hear , or time pressures.... then it's likely I'll not orgasm , it really doesn't bother me and her often gets to cum 5 or 6 times when we play which I love to see and she really isn't fazed by me not cumming as she knows I've had a great time anyway . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't see it as a failure, it happens sometimes. There's a lot of pressure for guys to perform and it's our job as women to not make a big deal of it if it happens. "
Nice sentiment, lovely words.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"One of my early FWB on here would never orgasm on a meet. We talked it over and he reassured me he was still enjoying himself, completely fine.
It's something I'd like to discuss because otherwise I would certainly overthink things and decide he just didn't find me arousing and actually he wasn't having fun.
I orgasm so easily that it's difficult for me to understand someone having fun without an orgasm as the end result. That's entirely my issue, but it can lead to me questioning myself and it can really do a number on my confidence.
At the root of it all I just need to know my partner is enjoying himself."
Oooh, I wouldn't consider orgasms an issue  . Everyone is different.
Love that there's the confidence to discuss it beforehand and being aware of potential surprises or situations |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If I'm nervous at clubs then I find I might not be able to cum. Or if I've been trying to not cum all night then I find it difficult to let it go
If I realise this then I'll wrap things up instead of watching Steph fruitlessly beat my cock for ages. It's no big problem for us either way.
"
Good arrangement |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ejaculation and orgasm are seperate things, I dont always cum which is quite handy given Luna's sex drive but my body waves its white flag after a few hours
Mr Hayes. "
Stick on your superhero outfit, go forth and conquer Luna's sex drive!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Personally ...its happened a couple of times...
A bit of a pleaser so always want partner to cum 1st and on occasion this has happened and ive been holding back myself till it does then we stop..and I've not ,..hey ho ..always next time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’ve been known to not cum every time I have sex. Sometimes it’s because we’ve been at it for so long and need to stop out of tiredness or need for food or drink Sometimes there isn’t time. I don’t look at it as the end goal of any sexual encounter, I enjoy the act, and if I orgasm then great. Same with my partner - I’d like to make them cum, but understand that it may not happen for different reasons, so there’s never any pressure from my end. Just have fun having sex and what happens will happen |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"With me it can be one extreme to the other, if I haven't had sex for a week or so I'll go off quick as anything, but if I have regular sex then I can get to the point that I've lost sensitivity and hence don't always cum (or run out)
But it doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it."
Exactly that! It works the same both ways |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t really consider the sex over if he still had an erection...maybe an unpopular opinion
Many would approve of your commitment to the cause "
It definitely has felt like a commitment at certain times |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I ( him) often won't cum when we play , it's always been the same for me , I get a lot of mental satisfaction from giving pleasure and it means I don't really suffer from the fairly typical male " I've cum so now it's time to stop" scenario , which means a longer session is the norm for us .
I would sometimes like to have that quickie experience though, that has happened a few times but not that regularly.
Often when we play again later or the next day I will cum, also the longer I go with out actually cumming then the stronger the urge becomes to want to,often we play most days and it seems fairly normal for me to cum about 50% of the time, I think probably for me it's a head thing, if I'm completely in the zone then it's easier to cum, but if any distractions get in my head , like wondering if the kids can hear , or time pressures.... then it's likely I'll not orgasm , it really doesn't bother me and her often gets to cum 5 or 6 times when we play which I love to see and she really isn't fazed by me not cumming as she knows I've had a great time anyway . "
A female orgasm is a sweet sight and sound! Strangely, I go the other way, my anxiousness about the kids walking in often reduces my staying power and the nervousness takes over. As with most things, mainstream media has a lot to answer for when setting stereotypes and expectations! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *omDecMan
over a year ago
morpeth |
She always orgasms throughout our rare adult playtime but i dont always need too,more so if its a specific bdsm scene we & whoever are enjoying,im de-sensitised so takes a cpl of hours of foreplay or intercourse for my 1st orgasm then i usually go an hour for each after that,the ladies i must drain before my natural dominance takes control |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I ( him) often won't cum when we play , it's always been the same for me , I get a lot of mental satisfaction from giving pleasure and it means I don't really suffer from the fairly typical male " I've cum so now it's time to stop" scenario , which means a longer session is the norm for us .
I would sometimes like to have that quickie experience though, that has happened a few times but not that regularly.
Often when we play again later or the next day I will cum, also the longer I go with out actually cumming then the stronger the urge becomes to want to,often we play most days and it seems fairly normal for me to cum about 50% of the time, I think probably for me it's a head thing, if I'm completely in the zone then it's easier to cum, but if any distractions get in my head , like wondering if the kids can hear , or time pressures.... then it's likely I'll not orgasm , it really doesn't bother me and her often gets to cum 5 or 6 times when we play which I love to see and she really isn't fazed by me not cumming as she knows I've had a great time anyway .
A female orgasm is a sweet sight and sound! Strangely, I go the other way, my anxiousness about the kids walking in often reduces my staying power and the nervousness takes over. As with most things, mainstream media has a lot to answer for when setting stereotypes and expectations! "
Definitely with you there on the female orgasm being a sweet thing ... It is a joy to behold |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I didn’t used to cum when on antidepressants...I’m cock would be aching but just wouldn’t cum...I never minded the sex was just and awesome"
But if it starts to get painful then it's no fun for anyone! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can come too easily for my liking, but if I've been drinking I could go 6 hours with no end line in sight. The enjoyment comes from the act of sex not just the orgasm, though they are great. I could happily never come again if the rest of the sex was enjoyable. Give me hours of pounding over orgasm any day. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Personally ...its happened a couple of times...
A bit of a pleaser so always want partner to cum 1st and on occasion this has happened and ive been holding back myself till it does then we stop..and I've not ,..hey ho ..always next time "
There is always next time indeed!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve been known to not cum every time I have sex. Sometimes it’s because we’ve been at it for so long and need to stop out of tiredness or need for food or drink Sometimes there isn’t time. I don’t look at it as the end goal of any sexual encounter, I enjoy the act, and if I orgasm then great. Same with my partner - I’d like to make them cum, but understand that it may not happen for different reasons, so there’s never any pressure from my end. Just have fun having sex and what happens will happen "
Very true! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t really consider the sex over if he still had an erection...maybe an unpopular opinion
Many would approve of your commitment to the cause
It definitely has felt like a commitment at certain times "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I can come too easily for my liking, but if I've been drinking I could go 6 hours with no end line in sight. The enjoyment comes from the act of sex not just the orgasm, though they are great. I could happily never come again if the rest of the sex was enjoyable. Give me hours of pounding over orgasm any day."
Maybe it’s the dynamic I like, but I am a pleaser, I won’t be the one to quit on a guy who’s hard but hasn’t cum yet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The more emotionally attached I am, the quicker I finish. If it’s someone new then I last much longer.
That's quite interesting!! "
I’m sure there’s a leather couch out there with my name on it
Could be nerves, could be needing that feeling of safety and comfort on some subconscious level. Could just be rotten luck with new people! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"She always orgasms throughout our rare adult playtime but i dont always need too,more so if its a specific bdsm scene we & whoever are enjoying,im de-sensitised so takes a cpl of hours of foreplay or intercourse for my 1st orgasm then i usually go an hour for each after that,the ladies i must drain before my natural dominance takes control"
That's awesome that you have discovered your thresholds for play. Sounds very exciting and a lot of fun! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I ( him) often won't cum when we play , it's always been the same for me , I get a lot of mental satisfaction from giving pleasure and it means I don't really suffer from the fairly typical male " I've cum so now it's time to stop" scenario , which means a longer session is the norm for us .
I would sometimes like to have that quickie experience though, that has happened a few times but not that regularly.
Often when we play again later or the next day I will cum, also the longer I go with out actually cumming then the stronger the urge becomes to want to,often we play most days and it seems fairly normal for me to cum about 50% of the time, I think probably for me it's a head thing, if I'm completely in the zone then it's easier to cum, but if any distractions get in my head , like wondering if the kids can hear , or time pressures.... then it's likely I'll not orgasm , it really doesn't bother me and her often gets to cum 5 or 6 times when we play which I love to see and she really isn't fazed by me not cumming as she knows I've had a great time anyway .
A female orgasm is a sweet sight and sound! Strangely, I go the other way, my anxiousness about the kids walking in often reduces my staying power and the nervousness takes over. As with most things, mainstream media has a lot to answer for when setting stereotypes and expectations!
Definitely with you there on the female orgasm being a sweet thing ... It is a joy to behold "
Yes indeed!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I can come too easily for my liking, but if I've been drinking I could go 6 hours with no end line in sight. The enjoyment comes from the act of sex not just the orgasm, though they are great. I could happily never come again if the rest of the sex was enjoyable. Give me hours of pounding over orgasm any day."
Ah the joys of alcoholic anaesthesia |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"She always orgasms throughout our rare adult playtime but i dont always need too,more so if its a specific bdsm scene we & whoever are enjoying,im de-sensitised so takes a cpl of hours of foreplay or intercourse for my 1st orgasm then i usually go an hour for each after that,the ladies i must drain before my natural dominance takes control"
I don’t think this is unreasonable
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I can come too easily for my liking, but if I've been drinking I could go 6 hours with no end line in sight. The enjoyment comes from the act of sex not just the orgasm, though they are great. I could happily never come again if the rest of the sex was enjoyable. Give me hours of pounding over orgasm any day.
Maybe it’s the dynamic I like, but I am a pleaser, I won’t be the one to quit on a guy who’s hard but hasn’t cum yet. "
There are many out there who enjoy the dynamic of a confident, knowledgeable, persistent lover! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The more emotionally attached I am, the quicker I finish. If it’s someone new then I last much longer.
That's quite interesting!!
I’m sure there’s a leather couch out there with my name on it
Could be nerves, could be needing that feeling of safety and comfort on some subconscious level. Could just be rotten luck with new people!"
I'm sure there's lots of studies and research out there. All very intriguing nonetheless. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't mind if they do or don't.
If they do - perfect, let's shoot most of it to the back of my throat please.
If they don't - perfect, no spills to clean up! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't mind if they do or don't.
If they do - perfect, let's shoot most of it to the back of my throat please.
If they don't - perfect, no spills to clean up!"
Yikes. That sounds like a nice ending!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don’t always cum during meets. I’m a visual person so as long as I get to see everything that’s going on I’m enjoying myself. Mrs always wants to cum during meets so if she doesn’t we make sure we do when we get home |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
For myself I can always cum. 50% is the tip of your cock and the other 50% is your brain and how you use both.
I can go for as long as I want probably 20mins solid going at it or as little as 2mins if it has to be quick.
It is a case of managing the speed depth and my brain I have learnt over the years.
Experience definitely counts also learning how to desensitise your cock under the forskin if you have one.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t always cum during meets. I’m a visual person so as long as I get to see everything that’s going on I’m enjoying myself. Mrs always wants to cum during meets so if she doesn’t we make sure we do when we get home "
And an honourable gentleman you are too, good sir! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For myself I can always cum. 50% is the tip of your cock and the other 50% is your brain and how you use both.
I can go for as long as I want probably 20mins solid going at it or as little as 2mins if it has to be quick.
It is a case of managing the speed depth and my brain I have learnt over the years.
Experience definitely counts also learning how to desensitise your cock under the forskin if you have one.
"
Sounds like a skill that needed lots of practice |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"TV, film & porn has to have a climax or it’ll be never ending.
In reality your a human, everyone has their moments and sometimes you have to explore the persons body to understand it"
Completely agree with this. Let's appreciate individualisms and nuances and just have a bloody good time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ejaculation and orgasm are seperate things, I dont always cum which is quite handy given Luna's sex drive but my body waves its white flag after a few hours
Mr Hayes.
Stick on your superhero outfit, go forth and conquer Luna's sex drive! "
I keep threatening to invite the local rugby team round to help me out
Mr Hayes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If we are playing with others then I don’t all the time. I’m a pleaser so making sure people are pleased is much more enjoyable than my enjoyment.
It’s exciting to watch, be surrounded by it all and take in the ambience so I never feel like I’m missing out.
Playing with C, I have no issues…so I guess it’s my vanilla head telling me I shouldn’t 
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"An interesting topic of conversation between D and myself earlier today.
Seen plenty of forum posts where female's comment that they don't always climax during a sexual interaction, the usual male bravado that it would never happen on their watch and the typical back and forth cockfighting about which alpha should get the chance to try!
But what about when the tables are turned? What about when, for whatever reason, the male doesn't manage to climax during a sexual interaction?
Male orgasm is often depicted, in TV, film, porn, literature as the typical end to a sexual encounter.
Is it considered a failure in the same way as when a woman doesn't climax?
No hate or disparaging comments please, just an open debate on this horrible Friday afternoon "
I don't always cum when I play. Firstly, you can never tell at the start of the evening how many opportunities you're going to get to f**k different women, so you don't want to cum too early.
Secondly, the biggest turn on for me is giving a woman oral. I can spend a hell of a long time kissing and licking, as long as the lady is enjoying it of course.
A certain lady on Fab, who I've had the pleasure of playing with twice at Jaydees, is a big squirter and it was a massive turn on for me. Even though we didn't f**k it was still a fantastic experience.
If I cum as well then great, but it's not essential. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's not important to me to cum. I love the man to cum though.
When I'm being fucked it feels absolutely amazing and cumming just from being penetrated which is how I cum feels great to, but once I have orgasm, being fucked isn't quite as amazing. I'm just very happy for the guy to have a great time as I will regardless x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
I love being responsible for an orgasm…. But actually I would prefer lots of sex that is fun and exciting and as long as I knew he was having a great time then I wouldn’t mind. I sometimes don’t so I assume men are the same. Doesn’t mean I’ve not had the best time. I’d rather focus on the sex while it’s happening without a goal to cum. Plus I fucking hate it when someone decides that’s the end of sex because they’ve cum. That’s just rubbish.
V x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago
Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk |
"I often wonder if they didn't enjoy it as much as I did but maybe I'm just easily pleased
Think that would be a common thought to adopt. Communication is key, isn't it?! "
Often if they want to meet again it's a positive if not just chalk it up as experience I don't want to make someone uncomfortable about it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've had this a few times with my partner and I know exactly what that issue is. Fortunately it's pretty rare and totally avoidable.
It's either:
We've spent many hours fucking and playing and now my cock is massively desensitised due to how much pleasure I've received and the fact that I've purposely held myself back from cumming all night in order to really treat her.
Or because I'm exhausted, due to lack of sleep, working too many hours, not eating properly etc.
I have a bad habit of neglecting myself.. Something I'm working on.
It also has alot to do with mental stimulation too. Which is why we both love dirty talk.
As others have said, not finishing by cumming isn't necessarily a bad thing. I've always 100% enjoyed myself, had tons of mini orgasms along the way and get most of my pleasure by providing pleasure to her. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
I rarely cum through sex. It's been like that for me since I lost my virginity. Kinda knew I was different and it made me subconscious about it. My ex took it really badly as she sees it as her failure to make me cum even though I tried reassuring her its not her fault but in the end, our marriage collapsed. Now I see it as part of who I am.. I can't change that part of me so why worry about it. Just as long as both parties are having fun... I'm not fuss if I cum or not
Just means I can just keep going thats all lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find that I'm always very focused on her pleasure and that in turn gives me pleasure. I don't have to cum, the erotic experience as a whole is climatic in its own way, the intimacy and the fact that I have been invited to touch her in a way that only people she allows to touch her can. That's a big thing to me. We are all different I guess and I think porn has a lot to answer for. Sadly, porn doesn't transmit the smell, taste, heightened sensations and excitement I feel. If it did, I'd never leave the house.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve had this a few times in the past where I’ve not cum - felt like an absolute stud because we’ve been shot for hours to no avail - it’s still enjoyable and maybe a different scenario is needed however don’t let it get you down if it does happen - just sneak in when he’s in the shower later on and give him a blow job instead! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I love being responsible for an orgasm…. But actually I would prefer lots of sex that is fun and exciting and as long as I knew he was having a great time then I wouldn’t mind. I sometimes don’t so I assume men are the same. Doesn’t mean I’ve not had the best time. I’d rather focus on the sex while it’s happening without a goal to cum. Plus I fucking hate it when someone decides that’s the end of sex because they’ve cum. That’s just rubbish.
V x "
I totally agree. After cumming I love to have a session of long lingering kisses and/or, depending on the wishes of the lady I'm with, go straight back down for another session of oral.
Also, meeting and playing with new people is great, but I love it when you see someone at a club you've played with before and she says a quick "Hi, it's lovely to see you again", before giving me a kiss as her reintroduction.
Did I mention I have a passion for kissing? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Or because I'm exhausted, due to lack of sleep, working too many hours, not eating properly etc.
I have a bad habit of neglecting myself.. Something I'm working on.
"
I can really identify with this. Firstly, I'm on pills to help me sleep as otherwise I struggle to get more than a couple of hours a night. And they definitely, on some occasions, affect my ability to cum or even maintain an erection.
When you then factor in the issue of getting up for work at 04:40 on a Friday then playing at Jaydees till the early hours on a Saturday, it's inevitable that tiredness is going to play a massive part in how I perform.
Nevertheless, my main aim is that my playmates are satisfied and as long as that is the case I'm happy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I only struggle to cum if I drank a little too much which is why I prefer no or little alcohol before a meet.
That usually means I can stay hard
after cumming and keep going straight away.
Round 2 can go on forever and sometimes I wouldn't cum again but it's all fine.
I love the interaction as much as the orgasm  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It happens to me when I have managed to stop myself cumming too quickly, one wants to give lots of satisfaction after all and then find that I struggle to climax. People do not seem to mind....."
Fair enough, sounds like a good situation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ejaculation and orgasm are seperate things, I dont always cum which is quite handy given Luna's sex drive but my body waves its white flag after a few hours
Mr Hayes.
Stick on your superhero outfit, go forth and conquer Luna's sex drive!
I keep threatening to invite the local rugby team round to help me out
Mr Hayes. "
Take pictures if you do |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If we are playing with others then I don’t all the time. I’m a pleaser so making sure people are pleased is much more enjoyable than my enjoyment.
It’s exciting to watch, be surrounded by it all and take in the ambience so I never feel like I’m missing out.
Playing with C, I have no issues…so I guess it’s my vanilla head telling me I shouldn’t
K"
Sounds logical! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I get more pleasure from making others cum. Rarely do I cum first, I think by making someone else cum just turns me on so much I then can relax more and let it go…..so to speak |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I take ages to cum and on occasions it doesn’t happen. It doesn’t bother me at all as I still have a great time but I do worry how the lady I’m with feels."
Yes, gets back to my original point that there's this expectation and norm that comes with male ejaculation being the endgame of sex. Communication is key. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I love being responsible for an orgasm…. But actually I would prefer lots of sex that is fun and exciting and as long as I knew he was having a great time then I wouldn’t mind. I sometimes don’t so I assume men are the same. Doesn’t mean I’ve not had the best time. I’d rather focus on the sex while it’s happening without a goal to cum. Plus I fucking hate it when someone decides that’s the end of sex because they’ve cum. That’s just rubbish.
V x "
Wow. I love the word responsible. Never thought of it like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've had this a few times with my partner and I know exactly what that issue is. Fortunately it's pretty rare and totally avoidable.
It's either:
We've spent many hours fucking and playing and now my cock is massively desensitised due to how much pleasure I've received and the fact that I've purposely held myself back from cumming all night in order to really treat her.
Or because I'm exhausted, due to lack of sleep, working too many hours, not eating properly etc.
I have a bad habit of neglecting myself.. Something I'm working on.
It also has alot to do with mental stimulation too. Which is why we both love dirty talk.
As others have said, not finishing by cumming isn't necessarily a bad thing. I've always 100% enjoyed myself, had tons of mini orgasms along the way and get most of my pleasure by providing pleasure to her. "
It's good that you can identify the reasons and what to avoid doing if you do want to climax. That shows a level of self-care that you have about yourself which is good.
Pleasuring others is always more fun than pleasuring yourself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I never came with our 1st ffm. It was amazing & it was probably just because I was a little overwhelmed with it all! Just because a man doesnt cum doesnt mean hes not having an amazing time but I totally get your point about this element being the icing on the cake! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I find that I'm always very focused on her pleasure and that in turn gives me pleasure. I don't have to cum, the erotic experience as a whole is climatic in its own way, the intimacy and the fact that I have been invited to touch her in a way that only people she allows to touch her can. That's a big thing to me. We are all different I guess and I think porn has a lot to answer for. Sadly, porn doesn't transmit the smell, taste, heightened sensations and excitement I feel. If it did, I'd never leave the house. "
I will keep an eye out for your 4D porn experience business in the future |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I love being responsible for an orgasm…. But actually I would prefer lots of sex that is fun and exciting and as long as I knew he was having a great time then I wouldn’t mind. I sometimes don’t so I assume men are the same. Doesn’t mean I’ve not had the best time. I’d rather focus on the sex while it’s happening without a goal to cum. Plus I fucking hate it when someone decides that’s the end of sex because they’ve cum. That’s just rubbish.
V x
I totally agree. After cumming I love to have a session of long lingering kisses and/or, depending on the wishes of the lady I'm with, go straight back down for another session of oral.
Also, meeting and playing with new people is great, but I love it when you see someone at a club you've played with before and she says a quick "Hi, it's lovely to see you again", before giving me a kiss as her reintroduction.
Did I mention I have a passion for kissing? "
Kissing is the best! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I get more pleasure from making others cum. Rarely do I cum first, I think by making someone else cum just turns me on so much I then can relax more and let it go…..so to speak "
Yes! Can totally sympathise with the relaxing after they've cum scenario. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I never came with our 1st ffm. It was amazing & it was probably just because I was a little overwhelmed with it all! Just because a man doesnt cum doesnt mean hes not having an amazing time but I totally get your point about this element being the icing on the cake!"
Well done for not cumming during an ffm threesome. That's not easy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’ve just started seeing a FWB, I don’t always cum when having sex, however I look on it as long as she’s satisfied then I’m happy and satisfied.
Normally I’m able to cum later on if we spend night together |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Don't worry about it, we was with a couple who had been swinging for a long time and as they were leaving the man of the couple told us that was the first time he had ever cum in a meet. "
Well that sounds like an extraordinary compliment! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve just started seeing a FWB, I don’t always cum when having sex, however I look on it as long as she’s satisfied then I’m happy and satisfied.
Normally I’m able to cum later on if we spend night together "
Exactly! I quite like the little boost I get when I don't cum and then make sure we make time for round 2 later! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm more about the other party having an orgasm. It normally takes a lot for me to cum but I don't mind not doing so
Last thing want is for other person to be totally sated but you're still carrying on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm more about the other party having an orgasm. It normally takes a lot for me to cum but I don't mind not doing so
Last thing want is for other person to be totally sated but you're still carrying on"
I get that - I feel if a girl gets to go off a GOOD few times, then its a win.
Better than a guy going off after two pumps and a squirt, right? :P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I sometimes have this when i use Kegles to last longer during sex. It makes cumming even harder. My wife doesn't mind but previous partners think that i am not enjoying it. Which is completely wrong, i am enjoying it so much i just want it to last longer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For me yes it would probably be a waste of time... but thats as I'm here predominantly for bukkake ending meets. X
In a more intimate encounter it's still very important to me but I do know it doesnt always happen. However I'm likely to keep trying till it does.
For me I'm aware it's a total double standard as I rarely orgasm on meets |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s happened to me just the twice on a meet and the chat afterwards is very awkward, trying to explain it was just me and not them but you can see the disappointment in their face. There’s tremendous pressure sometime to deliver the money shot, unfortunately for a man there’s no hiding behind a fake orgasm as we have to provide the physical evidence. There’s also been a couple of meets when I’ve had to wank myself silly to deliver the goods, that was in a threesome when the other guy delivered way before me so the pressure is on to also deliver. For me, the best way is to relax and enjoy. When I’ve had trouble it’s always because of stress and not feeling right. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s happened to me just the twice on a meet and the chat afterwards is very awkward, trying to explain it was just me and not them but you can see the disappointment in their face. There’s tremendous pressure sometime to deliver the money shot, unfortunately for a man there’s no hiding behind a fake orgasm as we have to provide the physical evidence. There’s also been a couple of meets when I’ve had to wank myself silly to deliver the goods, that was in a threesome when the other guy delivered way before me so the pressure is on to also deliver. For me, the best way is to relax and enjoy. When I’ve had trouble it’s always because of stress and not feeling right."
Hopefully if it’s the right type of couple or single you are meeting, they tend to understand and usually end up meeting again.
It happened to me once on a first meet, nerves got to me in the end and I didn’t cum. The female was very understanding and when we next met she went out of her way to not make me nervous and both of us had a good time and finish |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
