FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > anal play without permission 2.

anal play without permission 2.

By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

So, in all the pre-meet banter me and Mr Fingerbob discuss anal play significantly, enough to make sure that he knows that I don't want it. It's a boundary line that I don't want him to cross. I meet him, it's the first meet, first impressions etc, and 10 mins into it during oral foreplay, he decides to put his finger up there. Before all hell is let loose again on here, just so you're all clear, I'm not accusing him of assault and I never was in the original post so please don't put words into my mouth again. I am accusing him of trying his luck though. It's about boundaries. My original post was meant more innocuously than what warranted the tirade of horrible and personal responses that got thrown at me. For whatever reason! It was incredible. I'm not after sympathy either as some were trying to suggest in the other post!! So my question is, as per the other post, has anyone else had a similar experience? How did you deal with it?

Any further thoughts? I'll go get my armour ready now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The bottom line is this (excuse the pun) If you make it clear to someone what your boundaries are, then they should adhere to those boundaries and not chance their luck.

If they cross that line then they should have a good hard kick in the balls

It's as simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don't really sound that bothered by it in all honesty.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"You don't really sound that bothered by it in all honesty."

I'm chosing my words very carefully! Once biten twice shy. (See the original post 'Anal play without permission.)

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Yes it has happend to me they got told to stop they did and fun ensued with no need to bring it into a forum thread .

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

The bottom line is this (excuse the pun) If you make it clear to someone what your boundaries are, then they should adhere to those boundaries and not chance their luck.

Well, you echo my thoughts too but just wait for the tirade of abusive responses yet to come! Some people have a very strange take on this, as I've found out the hard way!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've already caught a bit of that yesterday. People just saw it that you were really pissed off by this guy for going against something you've blatantly said no to so obviously they're going to jump to your defence by saying what a twat he is and what you should do to him.

So, did the fact that the boundary was pushed after you said 'no' actually make it more of a thrilling/liberating experience for you than if you'd told him to go ahead in the first place?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"The bottom line is this (excuse the pun) If you make it clear to someone what your boundaries are, then they should adhere to those boundaries and not chance their luck.

Well, you echo my thoughts too but just wait for the tirade of abusive responses yet to come! Some people have a very strange take on this, as I've found out the hard way!

"
if you feel this way why stir it up again with a new forum post ?

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Yes it has happend to me they got told to stop they did and fun ensued with no need to bring it into a forum thread ."

Nawty, there is enough of a need for me to bring it onto a forum thread in my view, so I'm exercising my right to do so. What are you doing here again if you don't think it warrants your time?

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS over a year ago

Cheadle

My answer is yes, it has happened to me as well, although I did put an end to the meet there and then, I can understand how and why you decided to carry on with yours and would never accuse you of making stories up, why on earth would you??, hugz n stuff, Ruby, xxx

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"I've already caught a bit of that yesterday. People just saw it that you were really pissed off by this guy for going against something you've blatantly said no to so obviously they're going to jump to your defence by saying what a twat he is and what you should do to him.

So, did the fact that the boundary was pushed after you said 'no' actually make it more of a thrilling/liberating experience for you than if you'd told him to go ahead in the first place?"

No not really - it just annoyed me that's all.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

In answer to the question of people having experienced simialr situation : I have not experienced that same situation but I have met a couple socially (with partner) and it was made clear that that first meet would be social meet only after whcih we would part company, talk to our respective partners and get back in touch with each other.

Unfortunately the male party of the other couple could not keep his hands to himself and repeatedly tried to stroke my leg under the table. I initially pushed his hand away a couple of times, then asked him to stop. He did not.

I got up, signalled to my partner I wanted to go and calmly said to the offending party that there would have been a really good chance of meeting to play but his pushy behaviour and lack of ability or willingness to take a hint completely put me off.

So, boundaries were clear, people were reminded of those and still they were not respected. Only one way to deal with it in this case and that was to leave.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Yes it has happend to me they got told to stop they did and fun ensued with no need to bring it into a forum thread .

Nawty, there is enough of a need for me to bring it onto a forum thread in my view, so I'm exercising my right to do so. What are you doing here again if you don't think it warrants your time? "
All im saying is you made you point yesterday so no need to do so again is there ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To all those who feel the need to ask 'why are you posting this again' why, if it bothers you so much that the OP is having a 2nd bite of the cherry, don't you just ignore the thread and allow those who didn't see it 1st time round, to view and comment upon it ???

Seems reasonable enough to me .....

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"My answer is yes, it has happened to me as well, although I did put an end to the meet there and then, I can understand how and why you decided to carry on with yours and would never accuse you of making stories up, why on earth would you??, hugz n stuff, Ruby, xxx

Exactly Ruby. Whay would I make something like this up? It's probably the kind of thing happening to loads of other swingers all the time, that's why it makes a good point for discussion ( in my humble opinion of course!) x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes it has happend to me they got told to stop they did and fun ensued with no need to bring it into a forum thread .

Nawty, there is enough of a need for me to bring it onto a forum thread in my view, so I'm exercising my right to do so. What are you doing here again if you don't think it warrants your time? "

Nothing wrong with posting again, the other thread just got too large and there are others who probably still have views and opinions. And maybe, just maybe, some people will take notice and be mindful in future of people's wishes and boundaries!

We can hope!

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Yes it has happend to me they got told to stop they did and fun ensued with no need to bring it into a forum thread .

Nawty, there is enough of a need for me to bring it onto a forum thread in my view, so I'm exercising my right to do so. What are you doing here again if you don't think it warrants your time? All im saying is you made you point yesterday so no need to do so again is there ?"

No Nawty, I didn't make my point yesterday because it got totally twisted out of all proportion!! I don't need to justify whay I want this thread to continue seeing as the other one got closed for getting too long. There is obviously a lot more to be said, as demonstrated by what's been said in this thread already.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

carry on folks il just watch n see the same results as yesterdays post ohhh and btw the post is still there for all to see.

just please give a little thought to the poor guy whos also involved in this and has to sit a read all the comments too ok he pushed tho boundries it was no big deal obviously hence why fun carried on.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"carry on folks il just watch n see the same results as yesterdays post ohhh and btw the post is still there for all to see.

No, I've re-worded the OP to make my intentions more clear. No one has been named and shamed here so I can't see a problem. If he's reading this, or the other one, maybe he might think twice about it next time when someone has set a boundary or boundaries with him. There is more I could say about him and his proximity to a boundary line FYI which I won't. Stick to the gist here. Has it ever happened to you? How did you deal with it? What's the point of boundaries and discussions about them if they are going to be ignored? That's what this is about. Other than that, it's people trying to put words into my mouth, or trying to make this thread be about something other than what it is intended to be.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

[Removed by poster at 25/09/12 19:01:58]

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Yes have had similar experiences....

We will always say if we don't like something, if they don't stop or question it then we will stop play.

If they respect our wishes and stop then we don't really see it as a problem.

Me too. To give him his due, he did stop when I asked him to.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

[Removed by poster at 25/09/12 19:02:18]

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Yes have had similar experiences....

We will always say if we don't like something, if they don't stop or question it then we will stop play.

If they respect our wishes and stop then we don't really see it as a problem.

Me too. To give him his due, he did stop when I asked him to."

Sorry deleted my post by mistake....meant to add

Within reason

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes it has happend to me they got told to stop they did and fun ensued with no need to bring it into a forum thread .

Nawty, there is enough of a need for me to bring it onto a forum thread in my view, so I'm exercising my right to do so. What are you doing here again if you don't think it warrants your time? "

Well said Alexa!

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By *coobyroo218Couple over a year ago

Guernsey

When we play we have boundaries and they have to be followed, if not what is the point of expressing a boundary for it to be flaunted at the first opportunity.

Boundaries can be crossed but as long as the person is told and it never happens again why should it spoil the night??

PnJ

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By *hetalkingstoveMan over a year ago

London

"Yes it has happend to me they got told to stop they did and fun ensued with no need to bring it into a forum thread ."

Everyone is different. If it's no big deal to you, fine. Other people may be more troubled by unwanted actions. It's not for you to tell them to be quiet about it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whilst i feel that the guy DID cross boundaries, (as stated on other thread), you then continued to have sex with him afterwards. So why are you getting so upset over it now?

Shouldn't you have stopped play and asked him to leave? (as i notice you state on another post here that he now crossed OTHER boundaries during sex).

Just my humble opinin.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"When we play we have boundaries and they have to be followed, if not what is the point of expressing a boundary for it to be flaunted at the first opportunity.

Boundaries can be crossed but as long as the person is told and it never happens again why should it spoil the night??

PnJ"

Yep I agree. In my case, I do think he was blatantly flaunting my boundary line, but he stopped when I told him to.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Yes it has happend to me they got told to stop they did and fun ensued with no need to bring it into a forum thread .

Everyone is different. If it's no big deal to you, fine. Other people may be more troubled by unwanted actions. It's not for you to tell them to be quiet about it."
if you can find a quote from me telling to op to keep quiet about it then show me

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Whilst i feel that the guy DID cross boundaries, (as stated on other thread), you then continued to have sex with him afterwards. So why are you getting so upset over it now?

Shouldn't you have stopped play and asked him to leave? (as i notice you state on another post here that he now crossed OTHER boundaries during sex).

Just my humble opinin.

I am not getting upset Edinguy!!!! Stop putting words into my mouth. I'm asking what experiences others have had and how they dealt with them? That's it!!

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"carry on folks il just watch n see the same results as yesterdays post ohhh and btw the post is still there for all to see.

To be fair, you wasn't at all clear on the other thread as to what you had discussed while arranging a meet...you did actually say you can't remember wether you mentioned anal play or not.

Either way, if the thread hadn't shut because it was too long I would have shut it because it was going round in circels, and now as you are hinting at another member going much further than what you said originally it is time to stop this one now.

Please don't start another.

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