FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Hotlist and privacy…
Hotlist and privacy…
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi is there a way to opt out of being hotlisted? Or to see who has added you on theirs?
There are a few people that are using hotlisting to stalk me and keep up to date with every single notification I post. I keep blocking but it seems several people do this.
Is there a way to stop people hot listing me? I prefer privacy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x"
Basically this. The reality is we’re all on a publicly accessible website so if we choose to display things publicly then there’s no way of preventing people seeing it. You can block them but like you’ve said they can easily get around that. So the only way to be sure is to hide.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x"
They can still technically hotlist you, even if your profile is off
As mentioned, there’s no way to stop it. Just document it, report it to admin.
Are they sending messages? Are you sure it’s the same person? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x
They can still technically hotlist you, even if your profile is off
As mentioned, there’s no way to stop it. Just document it, report it to admin.
Are they sending messages? Are you sure it’s the same person? "
Yes, sending messages and checking my profile repeatedly. Not just one person, dozens.
That’s why I’d like to know how to stop it.
I understand the site is semi-public, but I travel around the country a lot so I’m always updating my details or status to reflect where I am.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having an unknown group of people knowing my exact movements City to city |
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"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x
They can still technically hotlist you, even if your profile is off
As mentioned, there’s no way to stop it. Just document it, report it to admin.
Are they sending messages? Are you sure it’s the same person?
Yes, sending messages and checking my profile repeatedly. Not just one person, dozens.
That’s why I’d like to know how to stop it.
I understand the site is semi-public, but I travel around the country a lot so I’m always updating my details or status to reflect where I am.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having an unknown group of people knowing my exact movements City to city "
But by updating your status to reflect where you are, you are letting everyone on fab know your movements. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x
They can still technically hotlist you, even if your profile is off
As mentioned, there’s no way to stop it. Just document it, report it to admin.
Are they sending messages? Are you sure it’s the same person?
Yes, sending messages and checking my profile repeatedly. Not just one person, dozens.
That’s why I’d like to know how to stop it.
I understand the site is semi-public, but I travel around the country a lot so I’m always updating my details or status to reflect where I am.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having an unknown group of people knowing my exact movements City to city
But by updating your status to reflect where you are, you are letting everyone on fab know your movements. "
Yes, which is what this post is about. I don’t want it to appear to a bunch of randoms who have hotlisted me. I only want my friends and those in the “nearby” to see. Not some unknown person or people who have used hotlist to keep tabs on me.
There should be an option to control who can and can’t see which info. Rather than “everyone or nobody at all”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x
They can still technically hotlist you, even if your profile is off
As mentioned, there’s no way to stop it. Just document it, report it to admin.
Are they sending messages? Are you sure it’s the same person?
Yes, sending messages and checking my profile repeatedly. Not just one person, dozens.
That’s why I’d like to know how to stop it.
I understand the site is semi-public, but I travel around the country a lot so I’m always updating my details or status to reflect where I am.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having an unknown group of people knowing my exact movements City to city "
Ah, right. So you’re not technically being stalked, just quite popular
If I were you, to help pass under new peoples radar or any unwanted attention, I’d remove my pictures or make them all friends only and not post any status updates regarding location. Existing ‘friends’ will still know who you are and you’ll be able to let them know where you are individually if you’ve got friend in all the locations you visit then just block absolutely everyone you don’t want |
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"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x
They can still technically hotlist you, even if your profile is off
As mentioned, there’s no way to stop it. Just document it, report it to admin.
Are they sending messages? Are you sure it’s the same person?
Yes, sending messages and checking my profile repeatedly. Not just one person, dozens.
That’s why I’d like to know how to stop it.
I understand the site is semi-public, but I travel around the country a lot so I’m always updating my details or status to reflect where I am.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having an unknown group of people knowing my exact movements City to city
But by updating your status to reflect where you are, you are letting everyone on fab know your movements.
Yes, which is what this post is about. I don’t want it to appear to a bunch of randoms who have hotlisted me. I only want my friends and those in the “nearby” to see. Not some unknown person or people who have used hotlist to keep tabs on me.
There should be an option to control who can and can’t see which info. Rather than “everyone or nobody at all”."
I don’t think that option exists to what your after. Maybe just be selective of what you post on fab and ignore those you say are stalking u |
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"block them if they are being a pest its that simple block and keep blocking and evenually you'll notice a difference"
This is what we were going to suggest  The Whack-a-mole approach will work eventually.
Alternatively, make all your photos 'friends only' and post a new pic with your location written somewhere in it so your friends can keep track of you but the snoopers can't  |
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You can’t unless you block them.
By uploading to a public website your making your location public.
You wouldn’t know if they had hot listed you, even if they hadn’t they would still be able to see your status.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x
They can still technically hotlist you, even if your profile is off
As mentioned, there’s no way to stop it. Just document it, report it to admin.
Are they sending messages? Are you sure it’s the same person?
Yes, sending messages and checking my profile repeatedly. Not just one person, dozens.
That’s why I’d like to know how to stop it.
I understand the site is semi-public, but I travel around the country a lot so I’m always updating my details or status to reflect where I am.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having an unknown group of people knowing my exact movements City to city
Ah, right. So you’re not technically being stalked, just quite popular
If I were you, to help pass under new peoples radar or any unwanted attention, I’d remove my pictures or make them all friends only and not post any status updates regarding location. Existing ‘friends’ will still know who you are and you’ll be able to let them know where you are individually if you’ve got friend in all the locations you visit then just block absolutely everyone you don’t want"
Thanks for the kind wording. I’m not trying to pass under the radar. I just don’t want strangers following my every move. I don’t think anyone should be able to bookmark me and watch everything I do.
I would say it’s stalking when it gets to the point I receive messages like “I’ll come now” any time I do a ‘meet now’ setting. If I update saying I’m in a city I’ll get the same people saying they’ll drive across the country to me. (I’ve now learned to block if they do it twice). I’ve even had a person I don’t know, get angry at me because I had travelled somewhere.
I also travel in a fairly constant rhythm, and a stranger once asked “are you going to x city again tomorrow?”. It’s worrying.
It makes me feel very uneasy, I wish you could just do a setting where you can choose “those nearby” “close friends” ”hotlist” “everyone”.
There’s a similar setting already for photos |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x
They can still technically hotlist you, even if your profile is off
As mentioned, there’s no way to stop it. Just document it, report it to admin.
Are they sending messages? Are you sure it’s the same person?
Yes, sending messages and checking my profile repeatedly. Not just one person, dozens.
That’s why I’d like to know how to stop it.
I understand the site is semi-public, but I travel around the country a lot so I’m always updating my details or status to reflect where I am.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having an unknown group of people knowing my exact movements City to city
Ah, right. So you’re not technically being stalked, just quite popular
If I were you, to help pass under new peoples radar or any unwanted attention, I’d remove my pictures or make them all friends only and not post any status updates regarding location. Existing ‘friends’ will still know who you are and you’ll be able to let them know where you are individually if you’ve got friend in all the locations you visit then just block absolutely everyone you don’t want
Thanks for the kind wording. I’m not trying to pass under the radar. I just don’t want strangers following my every move. I don’t think anyone should be able to bookmark me and watch everything I do.
I would say it’s stalking when it gets to the point I receive messages like “I’ll come now” any time I do a ‘meet now’ setting. If I update saying I’m in a city I’ll get the same people saying they’ll drive across the country to me. (I’ve now learned to block if they do it twice). I’ve even had a person I don’t know, get angry at me because I had travelled somewhere.
I also travel in a fairly constant rhythm, and a stranger once asked “are you going to x city again tomorrow?”. It’s worrying.
It makes me feel very uneasy, I wish you could just do a setting where you can choose “those nearby” “close friends” ”hotlist” “everyone”.
There’s a similar setting already for photos "
Sorry, to clarify above I mean all those messages repeatedly from the same people. I can tell they have hotlisted me to receive updates. That’s a dangerous feature |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Without sounding abrupt, perhaps stop posting your every move then? If I put a “meet me” up - I never use my actual location! If I get talking to someone and we are likely to meet, only then will I give a proper location. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Without sounding abrupt, perhaps stop posting your every move then? If I put a “meet me” up - I never use my actual location! If I get talking to someone and we are likely to meet, only then will I give a proper location. "
I don’t give my actual location either, just a rough idea. You’re really missing the point. I don’t want anyone to be able to stalk me or virtually “follow” me.
That’s a standard privacy request that’s an option on pretty much everything now |
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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
You could post the status as writing on a picture and post that friends only, it wouldn't reach the local people but wouldn't reach the people who have hotlisted you though.
Definitely chalk down another vote for just keep blocking them though. |
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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
"This is what we were going to suggest The Whack-a-mole approach will work eventually."
Do the moles ever actually stop in whack-a-mole? Don't they just keep coming until the time/your money just run out no matter how many you whack? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think only way to stop is hide your profile x
They can still technically hotlist you, even if your profile is off
As mentioned, there’s no way to stop it. Just document it, report it to admin.
Are they sending messages? Are you sure it’s the same person?
Yes, sending messages and checking my profile repeatedly. Not just one person, dozens.
That’s why I’d like to know how to stop it.
I understand the site is semi-public, but I travel around the country a lot so I’m always updating my details or status to reflect where I am.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having an unknown group of people knowing my exact movements City to city
Ah, right. So you’re not technically being stalked, just quite popular
If I were you, to help pass under new peoples radar or any unwanted attention, I’d remove my pictures or make them all friends only and not post any status updates regarding location. Existing ‘friends’ will still know who you are and you’ll be able to let them know where you are individually if you’ve got friend in all the locations you visit then just block absolutely everyone you don’t want"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Without sounding abrupt, perhaps stop posting your every move then? If I put a “meet me” up - I never use my actual location! If I get talking to someone and we are likely to meet, only then will I give a proper location.
I don’t give my actual location either, just a rough idea. You’re really missing the point. I don’t want anyone to be able to stalk me or virtually “follow” me.
That’s a standard privacy request that’s an option on pretty much everything now "
If you want that privacy then stop putting your location or leave the site..... it's easy !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Without sounding abrupt, perhaps stop posting your every move then? If I put a “meet me” up - I never use my actual location! If I get talking to someone and we are likely to meet, only then will I give a proper location.
I don’t give my actual location either, just a rough idea. You’re really missing the point. I don’t want anyone to be able to stalk me or virtually “follow” me.
That’s a standard privacy request that’s an option on pretty much everything now "
I don’t think I’m missing the point. Do not put any location then. It’s honestly not rocket science. You are telling everyone that you’re in a hotel in central Birmingham, then crying because people message you asking you to meet at your hotel in central Birmingham.  |
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