FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Anal play without permission

Anal play without permission

By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm not totally against anal play but having discussed this before meeting and saying that I'd prefer we didn't do anal, before I could say 'put that condom on,' this guy's got his finger up there! What's the facination? Whats's the point of discussing it if he then ignores it.

Anyone else had similar?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

WTF! Did you kick him in to touch?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hope you kicked his arse out. Is assault.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What an arsehole!!! (or that's what he was thinking lol)

Seriously though, that's disgusting! I hope you stopped play!?

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS over a year ago

Cheadle

Typical, not only do they never read your profile properly, they even have selective hearing in the bedroom, tsk tsk, I hope you showed him the front door!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him."

Yep, along with a swift block

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

We didn't stop but I told him to get his finger out, then he apologised and said he'd lost control. I wish I had just stopped there though looking back .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him."
Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We didn't stop but I told him to get his finger out, then he apologised and said he'd lost control. I wish I had just stopped there though looking back . "

Lost control!!!? Scary territory

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would definitely stop there and then, that is totally out of order!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Men!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

have met a couple of men like that.

now though if someone starts to do something i dont like i tell them straight away that i dont like it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-"

Report his profile on here. He completely ignored specified limits. There's no excuse for that.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"have met a couple of men like that.

now though if someone starts to do something i dont like i tell them straight away that i dont like it."

This has definitely taught me to be more assertive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hes lucky it wasn't me i would not only have shoved one finger up his i would have shoved three while squeezing his balls tightly until purple would be a good look (but then as a bi girl almost lesbian i am not known to be nice to guys )

xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-"

I was just thinking the same and who knows the chap if he is on here may have a very different take to tell.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should really take anal off your interests list . Just to avoid confusion. He probably lost his hearing in his haste!!

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"You should really take anal off your interests list . Just to avoid confusion. He probably lost his hearing in his haste!!

Good point! I'm not totally against it but with this I guy I'd decided it wasn't what I'd wanted and we'd discussed it prior to meeting. But I can see that it gives off the wrong signal if I state anal in profile yes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You should really take anal off your interests list . Just to avoid confusion. He probably lost his hearing in his haste!!

Thats a very good point

why would you list anal as a interest if when guys mail you looking for anal your going to say no to them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ok you replied while i was posting lol

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Report what happend to who? admin cant do a thing about what happens on meets

the guy probably just got caught up in the moment like we all do from time to time just pushing the boundries to see what would happen i really dont see it as a big deal as long as he stopped when asked .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You should really take anal off your interests list . Just to avoid confusion. He probably lost his hearing in his haste!!

you are right to be annoyed when you had discussed it, but listing it as an interest, he probably got the wrong signal.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Report what happend to who? admin cant do a thing about what happens on meets

He did stop when I asked him but it was still a bit of shock as we'd discussed it before we met. I wish I had stopped it with him then and there though in hindsight. I think if the boot was on the other foot, I'd never dream of doing something as intimate as that to someone if they'd explicity asked me not too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-

Report his profile on here. He completely ignored specified limits. There's no excuse for that."
Rotfl..... you think admin would do something about it ? HELLO get REAL . At the end of the day it's down to the partys that arranged the meet to sort it out. Admin can't be reasonable for what happens on a meet.

Omfg ....

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you really felt that strong about a finger up your bum you definitely shouldn't have anal on your interests list.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Hope you kicked his arse out. Is assault."
Jezzo assault is a pretty strong accusation too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hope you kicked his arse out. Is assault.Jezzo assault is a pretty strong accusation too

i agree. . . Its hardly assault now!!

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

I wouldn't actually report him, but I can see how some women would want to. I think you can report this kind of thing as inappropriate behaviour. At least make admin aware so that if there are any other complaints from other women, then they can remove him. That's perfectly do-able surely.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn't actually report him, but I can see how some women would want to. I think you can report this kind of thing as inappropriate behaviour. At least make admin aware so that if there are any other complaints from other women, then they can remove him. That's perfectly do-able surely."

crazy talk. . . You couldn't prove anything from a meet. Its your word against his and admin have no proof to remove him. Its different if he was sending you hate mail. . .

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

crazy talk. . . You couldn't prove anything from a meet. Its your word against his and admin have no proof to remove him. Its different if he was sending you hate mail. . ."
Totaly agree it works in principle the same as naming and shaming how could you prove the accusations ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-

Report his profile on here. He completely ignored specified limits. There's no excuse for that. Rotfl..... you think admin would do something about it ? HELLO get REAL . At the end of the day it's down to the partys that arranged the meet to sort it out. Admin can't be reasonable for what happens on a meet.

Omfg ....

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-"

Depends whether it's a one-off or whether he makes a habit of it.

And actually, yes, it is assault. No means no, and he was told no anal play before they'd even started.

I've no tolerance at all for people who behave like this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crazy talk. . . You couldn't prove anything from a meet. Its your word against his and admin have no proof to remove him. Its different if he was sending you hate mail. . ."

From one occurrence, that's true. However, if other people had experienced the same thing, that puts a different slant on it.

He was told "no" and he admitted he "lost control" and some of you think that's not a problem...

I like anal play sometimes but that doesn't mean I am up for it at any time with anybody. What I have on my profile makes no difference at all to my right to say no. It's the same for anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Has anyone else experienced this? I'm not totally against anal play but having discussed this before meeting and saying that I'd prefer we didn't do anal, before I could say 'put that condom on,' this guy's got his finger up there! What's the facination? Whats's the point of discussing it if he then ignores it.

Anyone else had similar?

Anal fun can be fun, if bot partners (or moresome lol) agree, there has to be a level of trust and also a level o agreed level and understanding.

Why? Well it can be very erotic as it is see as naught, but nice!

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

crazy talk. . . You couldn't prove anything from a meet. Its your word against his and admin have no proof to remove him. Its different if he was sending you hate mail. . ."
This is so true, also the female involved should have asked the guy to leave if she was that concerned, rather than starting a thread about it....hindsight is a wonderful thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crazy talk. . . You couldn't prove anything from a meet. Its your word against his and admin have no proof to remove him. Its different if he was sending you hate mail. . .

From one occurrence, that's true. However, if other people had experienced the same thing, that puts a different slant on it.

He was told "no" and he admitted he "lost control" and some of you think that's not a problem...

I like anal play sometimes but that doesn't mean I am up for it at any time with anybody. What I have on my profile makes no difference at all to my right to say no. It's the same for anyone else."

ah ya. . To be fair she did tell him and he probably should have kept it an anal free zone. I just Dont really class a finger up my bum as anal sex like they discussed . That's just my opinion and would not consider it anything more than arousal during play. But everyone is different.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crazy talk. . . You couldn't prove anything from a meet. Its your word against his and admin have no proof to remove him. Its different if he was sending you hate mail. . .This is so true, also the female involved should have asked the guy to leave if she was that concerned, rather than starting a thread about it....hindsight is a wonderful thing."

What's wrong with discussing things to find out if anyone else has experienced something similar? I've found it quite interesting and useful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

crazy talk. . . You couldn't prove anything from a meet. Its your word against his and admin have no proof to remove him. Its different if he was sending you hate mail. . .

From one occurrence, that's true. However, if other people had experienced the same thing, that puts a different slant on it.

He was told "no" and he admitted he "lost control" and some of you think that's not a problem...

I like anal play sometimes but that doesn't mean I am up for it at any time with anybody. What I have on my profile makes no difference at all to my right to say no. It's the same for anyone else."

I agree with this. If someone has something on their profile it doesn't mean they will do it every time. Some people tick every box... that would be one heck of a long session if they had to make sure that they did everything on their meet.

No means no. And he stopped which is good. Perhaps he though a finger would be fine and it was just his cock that wasn't allowed near.

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

What's wrong with discussing things to find out if anyone else has experienced something similar? I've found it quite interesting and useful."
Did i say there was anything wrong with a discussion?...too many people mainly women so down on men on here its ridiculous but wont take any responsibility for anything that happens to them via their inbox or a meet. And no before you start i am not singling out the OP just merely stating the obvious from the forums.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One up the bum, no harm done

In all seriousness, if she said no before the meet that should mean no. At least ask during the meet to see if her mind has changed, don't just ram it up there!

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"One up the bum, no harm done

In all seriousness, if she said no before the meet that should mean no. At least ask during the meet to see if her mind has changed, don't just ram it up there!"
I agree, but surely she felt said finger go up said arsehole? The tip? Fucking hell i know when someone is tickling my sheriffs badge

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone else had similar?

Not trying to be funny but most people clench if they dont want anything up there. Are you a bit on the loose side if his finger went in so easily or something?

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

Anyone else had similar?

Not trying to be funny but most people clench if they dont want anything up there. Are you a bit on the loose side if his finger went in so easily or something? "

No. The opposite in fact .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone else had similar?

Not trying to be funny but most people clench if they dont want anything up there. Are you a bit on the loose side if his finger went in so easily or something?

No. The opposite in fact ."

So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

Starting a thread about it has prompted all some strong reactions so no hindsight required.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

Anyone else had similar?

Not trying to be funny but most people clench if they dont want anything up there. Are you a bit on the loose side if his finger went in so easily or something?

No. The opposite in fact .

So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both. "

What do you mean ' how did it go in without my noticing?!' If I hadn't have noticed, I wouldn't be on here talking about it!

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Starting a thread about it has prompted all some strong reactions so no hindsight required. "
But you knew it would...hence "the discussion", but just bare in mind not everyone will agree with the "oooh that nasty man" conclusion...but i will say you chose your words carefully and i hope you learnt from the meet.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

Starting a thread about it has prompted all some strong reactions so no hindsight required. But you knew it would...hence "the discussion", but just bare in mind not everyone will agree with the "oooh that nasty man" conclusion...but i will say you chose your words carefully and i hope you learnt from the meet."

Well pardon me for using the forum !! Who said anything about what conclusion I was expecting!!

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Well pardon me for using the forum !! Who said anything about what conclusion I was expecting!!"
stop being so sensitive i am merely expressing an opinion, you get them on here...some agree with yours some dont....Que sera sera

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/09/12 23:40:16]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone else had similar?

Not trying to be funny but most people clench if they dont want anything up there. Are you a bit on the loose side if his finger went in so easily or something?

No. The opposite in fact .

So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

What do you mean ' how did it go in without my noticing?!' If I hadn't have noticed, I wouldn't be on here talking about it! "

You said "before I could say 'put that condom on,' this guy's got his finger up there!" So you didn't notice as he was trying to get it up there, but the sounds of it the finger went up pretty quick so it was either slack, natural arse lubrication or a David Blaine special.

I wonder what the bloke thinks reading this. He may even come on and say he had a shock at a meet as this bird sat in his hand and broke his finger. Never seen a story without 2 sides before myself.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"[Removed by poster at 24/09/12 23:40:16]"

Beefy Bake you have got hold of th wrong end of the stick.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both. "

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

When all is said and done, the OP discussed her desires with the man and he didn't respect them. However I don't agree with all the 'report him' posts. We have all done silly things on meets, and an errant finger is really quite tame. Now if it had been his cock then a good kicking would be in order.

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Now if it had been his cock then a good kicking would be in order.

"
Agreed.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

Thank you Wyrdwoman. At last someone who talks sense

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

Thank you Wyrdwoman. At last someone who talks sense

One does one's best.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

Well pardon me for using the forum !! Who said anything about what conclusion I was expecting!!stop being so sensitive i am merely expressing an opinion, you get them on here...some agree with yours some dont....Que sera sera

Who said anything about agreeing with, or disagreeing with!! There is no expectation. Maybe if I think that the the next topic I post might promt a 'discussion' I'll think again!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Note to self... don't start a thread about something that isn't on the list of 'what people are allowed to discuss'. It will cause great discontent among those that make the rules and they will feel the need to make derogatory comments about you, even though all you were doing was asking a simple question.

When you try to draw people's attention to the fact that you were merely asking a question, they will tell you that you are not allowed an opinion, and/ or your beliefs are incorrect.

Allegedly.

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

JUST BECAUSE I DISAGREE WITH A POST??? Typical women....over reaction as per.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

And when he turns up and posts his side of the story I'll try and talk sense on his thread too. Sometimes people just want to rant.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

And when he turns up and posts his side of the story I'll try and talk sense on his thread too. Sometimes people just want to rant."

This is unbelievable

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

Beefy Cake what planet are you from?

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

And when he turns up and posts his side of the story I'll try and talk sense on his thread too. Sometimes people just want to rant.

This is unbelievable

I use the phrase 'rant' in a positive way. You had something happen to you that you did not enjoy. Blowing off steam about it is an acceptable way to use the forums. Gods know I have done so about other things.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

And when he turns up and posts his side of the story I'll try and talk sense on his thread too. Sometimes people just want to rant."

If it was me I would be more bothered about my broken fingers that got sat on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

And when he turns up and posts his side of the story I'll try and talk sense on his thread too. Sometimes people just want to rant.

This is unbelievable

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

Beefy Cake what planet are you from? "
Exlaxia I dont have to believe everything typed on here. I dont believe your tale, I have a choice to believe or not and I don't and if you don't like it then tuff.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

Beefy Cake what planet are you from? Exlaxia I dont have to believe everything typed on here. I dont believe your tale, I have a choice to believe or not and I don't and if you don't like it then tuff."

You can disagree with someone without getting personal you know.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

And when he turns up and posts his side of the story I'll try and talk sense on his thread too. Sometimes people just want to rant.

This is unbelievable

It wasn't even a rant . It was a prompt for a discussion on all kinds of levels hence the question marks in the original post. I didn't expect to be accused of 1. Lying about it. 2 Only being happy with the answers I was expecting to hear ( WTF!) 3. Exaggerating in order to get attention! There are some seriously strange people on here!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So how did he get a finger up your bum without you noticing it going in??

Have to say I am very aware when a finger is going in for a probing!! Did you not feel him playing around that area?

It couldn't have been that bad if you let play continue, he would have been shown the door straight away here!

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"So how did he get a finger up your bum without you noticing it going in??

Have to say I am very aware when a finger is going in for a probing!! Did you not feel him playing around that area?

It couldn't have been that bad if you let play continue, he would have been shown the door straight away here!

No I didn't stop play because it wasn't that bad and he did stop as soon as I told him to. He was all round that area anyway cos I virtually had both ankles round my neck and was leaning back on sofa and he was on his knees on the floor, so he had very easy access, and I was very wet at the time. He got his finger in quickly! My point is he did it having being told explicitly that we were not going to indulge in anal sex. Would you finger someone's arse if they'd said don't before the meet - I wouldn't!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

You can disagree with someone without getting personal you know."

I didn't think I was doing anything but responding in kind same as I do with mates.If I am in the pub and they talk geezer style I will do the same if I am in the office and they talk posh I do the same. I thin 90% of people do that. So where the getting personal bit came from well who knows as I was responding in kind.

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By *ackemdaveMan over a year ago

london

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-"

She could report him to the police as its sexual assault by penetration

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

just wondering now the poor guy feels if hes reading this and seeing everyone now knows exaclty how his meet went

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"just wondering now the poor guy feels if hes reading this and seeing everyone now knows exaclty how his meet went

If he's reading this, then it might at least make him realise why he didn't get a second meet out of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/09/12 00:21:21]

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

maybe reading this hed be quite glad he didnt ....DISCRETION !!!

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

You can disagree with someone without getting personal you know.

So calling Alexa Exlaxia was a slip of the finger, so to speak?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-

She could report him to the police as its sexual assault by penetration"

Do you think there would be a case? As the OP let play continue? plus we only have one side of the story!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

You can disagree with someone without getting personal you know.

So calling Alexa Exlaxia was a slip of the finger, so to speak?

I think of you look back I was not the first to use the wrong user name. Have a look come back and tell me I am wrong wont you and I'll give you a slice of cake.

Beefy BAKE!

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

And how would it be proved? Admin were I am guessing not on your meet.

What would anyone expect Admin to actually do?

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

And how would it be proved? Admin were I am guessing not on your meet.

What would anyone expect Admin to actually do? "

Nothing! I was just responding to some other points about reporting him earlier in thread.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-

She could report him to the police as its sexual assault by penetration

Do you think there would be a case? As the OP let play continue? plus we only have one side of the story! "

I was thinking the same. Next think we will be getting someone complaining about cum on the tits and someone saying that assault too.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"So how did it go in without you noticing? This tale doesn't add up to me as you cant get a finger in without a ton of lube or someone relaxing and usually both.

LOL, I've had lots of men slipping a sneaky finger in. As it gets quite slippy down there anyway there is no lube needed, and certain positions do open up the anus a bit.

That's if the tale is actually true! We only have one side so who knows surprisingly enough there are tones of people who exaggerate on here for the attention.

You can disagree with someone without getting personal you know.

So calling Alexa Exlaxia was a slip of the finger, so to speak?

I think of you look back I was not the first to use the wrong user name. Have a look come back and tell me I am wrong wont you and I'll give you a slice of cake.

Beefy BAKE!

Awww I'm sorry. It must be hard to see your username turned into such an insulting phrase.....wait a minute. Cake is much more fun than bake.

Well I suppose it was more than warranted to call her a name after that egregious transgression. I guess she knows her place now.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-

She could report him to the police as its sexual assault by penetration

Do you think there would be a case? As the OP let play continue? plus we only have one side of the story! "

However much I admire the sense of justice being demonstrated here, my point is, would you stick your finger up someone elses arsehole if they had explicitly said prior to the meet that they didn't want any anal play?

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Is a finger up the bum anal sex?

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Did you say anal play or anal sex out of interest?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I do think uve taking it all a little to seriously when your horny and turned on sometimes people will try their luck even tho uve said its not what u wanted before the meet and as it was listed on ur preferances he probably thought you were relaxed and would just go for it .

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

And how would it be proved? Admin were I am guessing not on your meet.

What would anyone expect Admin to actually do?

Nothing! I was just responding to some other points about reporting him earlier in thread. "

Actually no need to answer that last one as you say in the post I quoted that if others report the man too Admin can remove him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

Wrong!! What's so tall about it?

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

Did you say anal play or anal sex out of interest?"
To be honest, I can't bloody remember. I think I said anal sex

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Ok maybe you need to take this private now please.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

Wrong!! What's so tall about it? "

Well I think its a B/S story for attention but its made me laugh.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

Wrong!! What's so tall about it?

Well I think its a B/S story for attention but its made me laugh. "

Wrong again! Why bullshit about it seriously? It's making me laugh now too .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-

She could report him to the police as its sexual assault by penetration

Do you think there would be a case? As the OP let play continue? plus we only have one side of the story!

if you had explicitly said NO then they should respect that!

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Did you say anal play or anal sex out of interest? To be honest, I can't bloody remember. I think I said anal sex

You see thats where I think it isn't black and white for me. For me anal is anal penetration.

Maybe the man thought you meant the same and a cheeky finger is ok?

Either way, I don't think it must have been a big problem otherwise you wouldn't have carried on the meet and at least the man listened to you when you said you didn't want his finger up your bum

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Ditto. I'd also report him. Report him to who ? Indeed he was in the wrong but who would you report him to ?

* cReEpS rOunD cRyPt * -l-

She could report him to the police as its sexual assault by penetration

Do you think there would be a case? As the OP let play continue? plus we only have one side of the story!

if you had explicitly said NO then they should respect that!

Thank you Juzie !! That is my point exactly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

Wrong!! What's so tall about it?

Well I think its a B/S story for attention but its made me laugh.

Wrong again! Why bullshit about it seriously? It's making me laugh now too ."

If you want an honest opinion I think its all made up with a view to gain sympathy. Many have done it before on here. Funny yes believable? No not at all for me.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

Did you say anal play or anal sex out of interest? To be honest, I can't bloody remember. I think I said anal sex

You see thats where I think it isn't black and white for me. For me anal is anal penetration.

Maybe the man thought you meant the same and a cheeky finger is ok?

Either way, I don't think it must have been a big problem otherwise you wouldn't have carried on the meet and at least the man listened to you when you said you didn't want his finger up your bum

Yes . I have said that earlier in the thread.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

Wrong!! What's so tall about it?

Well I think its a B/S story for attention but its made me laugh.

Wrong again! Why bullshit about it seriously? It's making me laugh now too .

If you want an honest opinion I think its all made up with a view to gain sympathy. Many have done it before on here. Funny yes believable? No not at all for me. "

Let's agree to disagree on this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd have 'lost control' and kicked him in the nutts!

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By *ifferentClassMan over a year ago

Glasgow

The way I see it, if the OP said no anal, then the fellow in question was deliberately crossing a boundary that had been agreed by attempting to insert anything there. I think we all would agree that no means no, regardless of the list of likes on a profile. Plenty ladies will indulge in a spot of anal on occasion, but decide on others (particularly first meets) that it is not on the cards. I don't think 'but it is in your list of likes!' washes at all in these circumstances.

As for the 'noticing' point, I am reminded of a situation when I was still a fumbling teenager. Whilst giving oral to my then g/f, I remembered reading how nice it would be for her if I slipped my finger inside at the same time. Just as she approached orgasm, I thrust my finger in and the squeal that accompanied this suggested that I had hit the nail on the head. Alas, when she started going bananas I realised to my horror that I had actually thrust it up her wrong 'un - but such was the plethora of well lubed wetness in the general area, that it had slid in right to the knuckle without resistance, and this was no slack arsed gal; she was from Morningside, for goodness sake. Long story short, the OP's claim is perfectly credible.

As for the discretion thing - given that the name of the anal prober is not mentioned, and a glowing veri is unlikely to be on display - at least not one that refers to said episode - I don't think he need worry about any kind of discretion compromise. All in all, I think the OP experienced something she was not comfortable with, was not sure if it was just 'shit happens' kind of thing and wanted to gauge opinion and/or see if anyone had had similar experiences and could air their feelings and responses so she could perhaps measure her own a little better. Nowt wrong with that as I sees it.

Now, how is that for common sense? A triumph, methinks. Back to the insomnia...

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"The way I see it, if the OP said no anal, then the fellow in question was deliberately crossing a boundary that had been agreed by attempting to insert anything there. I think we all would agree that no means no, regardless of the list of likes on a profile. Plenty ladies will indulge in a spot of anal on occasion, but decide on others (particularly first meets) that it is not on the cards. I don't think 'but it is in your list of likes!' washes at all in these circumstances.

Now, how is that for common sense? A triumph, methinks. Back to the insomnia..."

Glasgowmj you are a scholar and a gentleman. xxxxxxxxxxxx

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By *ifferentClassMan over a year ago

Glasgow

Now, how is that for common sense? A triumph, methinks. Back to the insomnia...

Glasgowmj you are a scholar and a gentleman. xxxxxxxxxxxx"

I humbly accept the compliment. I just called it as I saw it. The unnecessary accusations of fabrication to receive sympathy were a bit much.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman over a year ago

Deviant City

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you say anal play or anal sex out of interest?"

I wondered this myself, as the thread progressed. From the initial post I assumed the OP had been clear that she didn't want anal play. If she said anal sex, I could more easily understand the confusion.

Myself, if someone said no anal sex to me, I'd clarify before going near that particular region, but by the sound of things, the man may have got the wrong idea about the limits specified by the OP.

As has been said, at least he stopped when told.

I'd say this thread has been beneficial if for no other reason that to highlight the importance of clear communication. Men, (and women, for that matter), can't be expected to read minds.

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By *ifferentClassMan over a year ago

Glasgow

A good point made about communication = however, I think my own mantra when playing with a lady would be along the lines of 'Do not put a finger up my bum without explicit prior consent. Just because I haven't mentioned it, does not mean it is not off limits.'

I think it would be sensible to apply this regardless of whether it is a man or woman looking to do the probing.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

Wrong!! What's so tall about it?

Well I think its a B/S story for attention but its made me laugh.

Wrong again! Why bullshit about it seriously? It's making me laugh now too .

If you want an honest opinion I think its all made up with a view to gain sympathy. Many have done it before on here. Funny yes believable? No not at all for me. "

Has the OP pissed everyone off at some point in the past, or did everyone just decide that ignoring someone's preference is just fine and dandy here? I have never seen a post about someone having their meet wishes ignored vilified so thoroughly so I can only assume several people on here actually do not like the OP.

I was under the impression that no means no. OP told meet no anal sex/penetraion (dear me, the hair splitters have come out in droves for this one) and the guy ignored it. He spologised, OP decided to keep on playing because it wasn't the end of the world, and posts on here to wonder what others would have done. Getting her post and herself attacked in the process.

I don't know about the rest of you all, but I have seen much milder scenarios posted on these forums and seen the OP supported, so again, I can only assume that this poster has earned ire from another place. Oh, and before Monte Cristo jumps on me for quoting his post, it was the most recent one stating that the OP has made this up. Nothing personal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would stop all play if someone disrespected me in that way

Out the door followed by their clothes

Would be the same with us.... cheeky f***er

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

Wrong!! What's so tall about it?

Well I think its a B/S story for attention but its made me laugh.

Wrong again! Why bullshit about it seriously? It's making me laugh now too .

If you want an honest opinion I think its all made up with a view to gain sympathy. Many have done it before on here. Funny yes believable? No not at all for me.

Well said. A lot of the thread reads like a group of 13 year old boys verbally attacking a girl in the playground. Apparently that's ok as they can say it's their opinion.

I've seen threads pulled or closed for a lot less. Whether or not the posters have an issue with each other is irrelevant, I think. No need at all for personal attacks on an open forum.

If this is what swinging is all about then I don't like it. At all.

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By *inkershoes69Woman over a year ago

maidstone

"well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

Wrong!! What's so tall about it?

Well I think its a B/S story for attention but its made me laugh.

Wrong again! Why bullshit about it seriously? It's making me laugh now too .

If you want an honest opinion I think its all made up with a view to gain sympathy. Many have done it before on here. Funny yes believable? No not at all for me.

Well said. A lot of the thread reads like a group of 13 year old boys verbally attacking a girl in the playground. Apparently that's ok as they can say it's their opinion.

I've seen threads pulled or closed for a lot less. Whether or not the posters have an issue with each other is irrelevant, I think. No need at all for personal attacks on an open forum.

If this is what swinging is all about then I don't like it. At all. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If this is what swinging is all about then I don't like it. At all.

This isn't what swinging is all about - or it wasn't when I started out in the scene over 10 years ago.

Nowadays, I'm not so sure any more. Its probably the reason I feel less and less inclined to actually meet these days.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I was under the impression that no means no. OP told meet no anal sex/penetraion (dear me, the hair splitters have come out in droves for this one)"

I agree, and (speaking for myself) I wasn't splitting hairs, just suggesting why the guy may have been confused.

No definitely means no, and I would have chucked him out. That said, he did stop and apologise when told no, so it could actually have been a misunderstanding.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I agree accusing the OP of making it up seems a bit odd...it isn't like it is an unknown scenario and could well happen going by what people have said. I do agree with no means no, but the rules of the play have to be clear first....it might be splitting hairs to you, but for me it would be unclear (and the OP couldn't remember herself wether she had said no anal play or no anal sex) of what was out of bounds....anal sex and anal play are two different things to me.

What if the man thought the same thing?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We didn't stop but I told him to get his finger out, then he apologised and said he'd lost control. I wish I had just stopped there though looking back . "
Well he new you did not like anal and that's not just sex its bum play .. so it was a no go ... and yes he was out of order ... I bet others here had this and will read this post. We do chat about all sorts here which is good.. He did apologia and maybe you should have said go home .. you overstepped my rules. Like you said looking back you wish you had done. xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I've never come across woman who hasn't known where my fingers are. My vote goes for tall tale but a funny tall one.

Wrong!! What's so tall about it?

Well I think its a B/S story for attention but its made me laugh.

Wrong again! Why bullshit about it seriously? It's making me laugh now too .

If you want an honest opinion I think its all made up with a view to gain sympathy. Many have done it before on here. Funny yes believable? No not at all for me.

Well said. A lot of the thread reads like a group of 13 year old boys verbally attacking a girl in the playground. Apparently that's ok as they can say it's their opinion.

I've seen threads pulled or closed for a lot less. Whether or not the posters have an issue with each other is irrelevant, I think. No need at all for personal attacks on an open forum.

If this is what swinging is all about then I don't like it. At all. "
its not what swinging about personal attacks in open forums . Some just love to control the chat its there views and there views only .. Only thing we can do is be true to ourselfs and say it how we see it here in forums .. like this post. OP was making a good point .. yes allways two sides to everything but she felt strong about it .. Like others do when posting at times. She said no and he crossed the line. NO IS NO.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

hope you punched him on the nose or got him in a compromising position and returned the favour

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Look, the OP is saying she "explicitly" said no to it, that should be respected no matter what! And its no wonder single males get tarnished with nasty reputation if others go round doing this!

Short answer is "BOUNDARIES SHOULD BE RESPECTED!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And furthermore, why attack the OP? These things happen and I know from experience myself, I personally find it disgusting that someone airs a scenario that has upset them and they are jumped on and called a liar! You can understand why rape goes unreported on numerous occasions! Just shows a lack of respect and sympathy!

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

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By *eglieanCouple over a year ago

Torbay

Think its the porn films, most nowadays are very anal and fellas think its the done thing, they nearly all tick anal on their likes. Playing at a party or in a group if some fellas fingering a bum somewhere the chances are he aint gonna wash his hands before moveing on and playing elsewhere.

Shitty finger no thanks.

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Look, the OP is saying she "explicitly" said no to it, that should be respected no matter what! And its no wonder single males get tarnished with nasty reputation if others go round doing this!

Short answer is "BOUNDARIES SHOULD BE RESPECTED!"

I totally agree with you that boundaries need to be respected and that "no" should always mean "no". Personally I would not tarnish other people due to one bad experience - you get people disobeying the spoken (and sometimes unspoken) rules all the time, not just here but in life. If somebody crossed a line, ignored a clear "no" from me I would ask them to leave immediately and I would not give them another chance.

I also think it is important that boundaries are established between people, with clarity before play which can make things feel a bit stilted and not spontaneous but it should help prevent situations like this.

As for the question of whether this should be discussed or not, I can not see any reason why the OP should not ask others for their experience and opinion.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Look, the OP is saying she "explicitly" said no to it, that should be respected no matter what! And its no wonder single males get tarnished with nasty reputation if others go round doing this!

Short answer is "BOUNDARIES SHOULD BE RESPECTED!"

As long as they are clear

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"And furthermore, why attack the OP? These things happen and I know from experience myself, I personally find it disgusting that someone airs a scenario that has upset them and they are jumped on and called a liar! You can understand why rape goes unreported on numerous occasions! Just shows a lack of respect and sympathy!

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

"
Not tennis... but how about some soup

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i dont see the fascination with anal, pussy always feels miles better plus lubes itself!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Look, the OP is saying she "explicitly" said no to it, that should be respected no matter what! And its no wonder single males get tarnished with nasty reputation if others go round doing this!

Short answer is "BOUNDARIES SHOULD BE RESPECTED!"

As for the question of whether this should be discussed or not, I can not see any reason why the OP should not ask others for their experience and opinion. "

+1 Totally agree!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

Sod the tennis Juzie ...unless it's the tonsil type of course

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

Sod the tennis Juzie ...unless it's the tonsil type of course

"
Now then... trust you to lower the tone of the serious conversation!

How are you - have missed you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

Sod the tennis Juzie ...unless it's the tonsil type of course

Always open to offers and others erm input?? hehe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

Sod the tennis Juzie ...unless it's the tonsil type of course

Now then... trust you to lower the tone of the serious conversation!

How are you - have missed you

Me? Lower the tone of serious conversation???

Guilty as charged

It's good to be in amongst you lovelies

Just waiting to get back into the swing of things

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Think its the porn films, most nowadays are very anal and fellas think its the done thing, they nearly all tick anal on their likes. Playing at a party or in a group if some fellas fingering a bum somewhere the chances are he aint gonna wash his hands before moveing on and playing elsewhere.

Shitty finger no thanks."

'A Finger of Fudge is just enough to give her bum a treat....'

Tone. Lowered.

My work here is done!

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Shitty finger no thanks.

'A Finger of Fudge is just enough to give her bum a treat....'

Tone. Lowered.

My work here is done!

"
That is disgusting but funny

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By *phroditeWoman over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

" Just waiting to get back into the swing of things

Cant wait for the onslaught

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

Sod the tennis Juzie ...unless it's the tonsil type of course

Always open to offers and others erm input?? hehe

How rude of me not to offer you the use of my 'inbox'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

Sod the tennis Juzie ...unless it's the tonsil type of course

Always open to offers and others erm input?? hehe

How rude of me not to offer you the use of my 'inbox'

Lol be careful with such offers on this thread hehe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

Sod the tennis Juzie ...unless it's the tonsil type of course

Always open to offers and others erm input?? hehe

How rude of me not to offer you the use of my 'inbox'

Lol be careful with such offers on this thread hehe

*ahem*

Front box only for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Just waiting to get back into the swing of things

Cant wait for the onslaught

Oh.... it's going to be messy lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

big no no that is !! Assuming he wasnt bi i doubt he would like it if you slipped a finger up his arse ! especially when the rules have been established .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now, changing the subject..... anyone up for some tennis?

Sod the tennis Juzie ...unless it's the tonsil type of course

Always open to offers and others erm input?? hehe

How rude of me not to offer you the use of my 'inbox'

Lol be careful with such offers on this thread hehe

"
lol you dont change xxx cafeful lol you love it ,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"big no no that is !! Assuming he wasnt bi i doubt he would like it if you slipped a finger up his arse ! especially when the rules have been established ."

Straight men like anal play too, you know. Well, it says straight on their profile....

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By *eaboMan over a year ago

marden

i have just read this thread with growing horror and amazement. The guy had been told no anal sex, i would have stayed well away from it, but he tried his luck and stopped when told. The lady was left unsure of her reaction and asked her peers what they thought. Accepted not everyone will have the same opinion but the trolls and keyboard warriors have attacked and all hell broke loose. The guy was out of order for trying it. His name was not mentioned in the thread so no one knows who he was. I don't think it was assault but i think he was wrong. And i think it entirely reprehensible that the op should be pilloried for asking peoples opinions.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lets be honest here, EVERY guy has probably tried to push the boundaries at some point during sex. Yes, you told him no anal sex, so he tried a finger, (you say you were laying back with him kneeling in front of you so i'm 'assuming' he was giving you oral at the time)? Hasn't every guy tried a wee finger up the gals bum while doing that?

You then said NO, he stopped, and you both carried on having sex. But, as a few peeps have already asked, didn't you feel him rooting about down there before it went up?

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"big no no that is !! Assuming he wasnt bi i doubt he would like it if you slipped a finger up his arse ! especially when the rules have been established ."

Exactly. I wouldn't dream of sticking my finger in his arse and I didn't want his finger in mine! That rule had been established and he ignored it. So he was trying his luck and I said stop. He stopped the anal bit and we carried on playing. So it wasn't such a big deal as some of you have made it out to be although it did annoy me that he even attempted it in the first place.

I won't bother to define what I mean by 'anal play.' It as his finger, so define that in whatever way you see fit. Also, if you've not had much anal experience, you'd be surprised how easy it is to get a very slippery finger up there. Enough said.

This post has prompted such a wide range of strong responses, everything from me being accused of making it up to get attention on here to some of you saying that it should be reported as abuse. Some very extreme responses.

To answer an earlier comment, no I have never had any altercations with anyone on here before. Why there have been so many nasty posts directed at me personally, I have absolutely no idea! It does read in so many cases as if I am the one causing offence by posting about a subject like

this. All I can assume is that talking about 'anal play' is evidently a highly sensitive area for some. Or, more to the point, is it the fact that I refused it that has got some of you so heated?

An earlier comment made the point that so much porn nowadays features anal sex and that it's become common practice in porn. Is that what's getting guys going? For me, it's ok in the right circumstances and with the right guy. But in the case of my original post, this was our first meet and this was happening within 10 mins of us getting down to business. Then, he didn't even offer to go and wash his finger without me prompting him so he'd have been really happy to put that somewhere else. I won't go into the ins and outs of the hygiene here - isn't that just common sense!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sometimes men touch my ears and i tell them not to because i have ear problems, then they forget and do it again, so i have to remind them again.

they say sorry and dont do it again, so thats ok.

people make mistakes, but if they get too rough, then i would tell them to leave.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan over a year ago

London

Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan over a year ago

London

"Hasn't every guy tried a wee finger up the gals bum while doing that?

Not if you've been told in advance that the woman doesn't want anal play.

I won't go as far as to say its assault (although I'd support a women, or man, who felt it was if it happened to them) but its extremely bad behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hasn't every guy tried a wee finger up the gals bum while doing that?

Not if you've been told in advance that the woman doesn't want anal play.

I won't go as far as to say its assault (although I'd support a women, or man, who felt it was if it happened to them) but its extremely bad behaviour. "

But, as the op has said, she told him 'no anal sex'. And a finger up there isn't exactly anal sex! But as i mentioned, guys do tend to get carried away and he stopped as soon as she asked him to.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible. "

Thank you - another sane person on here! I do state anal as an interest on my profile yes and that is because I do indulge sometimes. It's not to say I want to with everyone though and as this was our first meet, I didn't want to go there. It's unbelieveable how I've been personally slated by some on here! Having a woman saying that she'd refused anal obviuosly doesn't sit well with some ! It's that, or they accuse me of making it up for the attention! What is the point of that ??? You could say that about virtually any thread topic if what it's addressing isn't to your liking! Probably other issues going on, and my post was just a good opportunity to rant about it at me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sadly some people think that somehow because they are at a meet that all civil rules go out of the window.

I was a dogging meet once with a couple that I have known previously. Just as we got going some prat sticks his finger straight up the Nutella. You should have seen and heard the poor lady jump and scream. Lets just say that it was not the same as previous meets.

I would like to say that not all men are the same.

I am not sure if he actually realised the 'anal' in your description or if he would have done that irrespective. I do agree with the lady that said that they don't read and I think he probably did not.

I always try and whenever possible educate some of these muppets (not sure if I can use that word anyomore! by the way I am not a conservative MP and I do like the law (police) lol) about the benefits of communication. Sadly not all have the intelect.

To all those that spoil things please do ask the person beforehand what they like, what they want, what they are looking for, what's allowed and what's not, before diving in.

Hope you are OK Alexa. xxx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Time and tanked people for agreeing with u and said oh another sane person who understands you like the rest of us are not sane...sorry but i do think its been a case of someone being caught up in a moment and nothing more any sane person can see that

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

[Removed by poster at 25/09/12 12:33:47]

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Sadly some people think that somehow because they are at a meet that all civil rules go out of the window.

I would like to say that not all men are the same.

To all those that spoil things please do ask the person beforehand what they like, what they want, what they are looking for, what's allowed and what's not, before diving in.

Hope you are OK Alexa. xxx"

Thank you Fab Swinger1. I am absolutely fine thank you. Just incredibibly disappointed to discover that theree are so many complete idiots on here though.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Time and tanked people for agreeing with u and said oh another sane person who understands you like the rest of us are not sane...sorry but i do think its been a case of someone being caught up in a moment and nothing more any sane person can see that

Sorry Nawty can you clarify your meaning here please. When you say 'someone being caught up in a moment..' are you referring to the finger up the arse bit, or are you referring to some of my comments on here?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

, i just find it bemusing when someone posts an op and then gets upset when he/she finds that NOT EVERYONE agrees with their opinion!

Yes, the guy was out of order, but, the guy STOPPED WHEN ASKED, AND, you carried on having sex with him! If it bothered you that much, why didn't you end the meet there and then?

Instead of coming on the forums, complaining about it and getting upset because you don't like some of the answers you got?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I ment the guy getting caught up in the moment but also bemused u seem to think only those in agreement with you are sane

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

, i just find it bemusing when someone posts an op and then gets upset when he/she finds that NOT EVERYONE agrees with their opinion!

Yes, the guy was out of order, but, the guy STOPPED WHEN ASKED, AND, you carried on having sex with him! If it bothered you that much, why didn't you end the meet there and then?

Instead of coming on the forums, complaining about it and getting upset because you don't like some of the answers you got?

No, seriiously Edinguy, my comments in the majority of this thread have been reactionary rather that accusatory. If you read the entire thread you'll see what I mean by that. In fact, and I've said this more than once already, I didn't makke a big deal of the arse bit at the time of play - in fact, once he'd removed offending finger all was well. It's everyone else on here making it seem much more than that and I've had some severely personal comments thrown at me for just even making a thread out of it. It's been very eye-opening indeed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

, i just find it bemusing when someone posts an op and then gets upset when he/she finds that NOT EVERYONE agrees with their opinion!

Yes, the guy was out of order, but, the guy STOPPED WHEN ASKED, AND, you carried on having sex with him! If it bothered you that much, why didn't you end the meet there and then?

Instead of coming on the forums, complaining about it and getting upset because you don't like some of the answers you got?

I have read the entire thread, and whilst i agree that you don't deserve to be slated for posting the op, or indeed don't agree that you deserve most of the malicious comments directed at you, i also found it surprising that you seem to think that the only sane people on this thread are the ones who agree with you!

The guy got carried away, which we have ALL done at some point in our sexual shenanigans and stopped when asked! So i don't exactly see the problem, but, thats just my humble opinion and i hope you don't take offence at it as none is intended!

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"I ment the guy getting caught up in the moment but also bemused u seem to think only those in agreement with you are sane

All I can do is refer back to my original post which said..... Have you ever experienced a guy do anything like this to you? What's the fascination with anal play here? If you have had a similar experience then perhaps you'd like to share?

Nawty, I don't intend to offend people for having an opinion which differs to mine. However, if you read the entire thread, you'll see just how many severely personal remarks I've received, which don't go anywhere close to actually dicussing what my original post was about. Far from it. I've been accused of making it up for the attention! It's made my comments in this thread become highly defensive, only because I've received such a personal and unfounded slating!! When someone actually talks about my reason for posting it sticks out from all the other degrogatory remarks and appears completely sane for a chance. Put yourself in my shoes here!!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I've been following the post very closely but will only post regarding what you have said maybe you should post what you hoped to achieve by posting what happened to you.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

, i just find it bemusing when someone posts an op and then gets upset when he/she finds that NOT EVERYONE agrees with their opinion!

Yes, the guy was out of order, but, the guy STOPPED WHEN ASKED, AND, you carried on having sex with him! If it bothered you that much, why didn't you end the meet there and then?

Instead of coming on the forums, complaining about it and getting upset because you don't like some of the answers you got?

I take your point. I don't have an issue with people who disagree with me at all and it isn't my intention to insult them by implying that they're not sane for disagreeing! It's not these people I'm getting at though! It's the ones who have taken this to a highly personal level without any reason for it - they know who they are. Iin my opinion, that is insane! I apologise to the other decent people who might have got a blunt or rude response without meaning to upset by expressing their impersonal views. B

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"I've been following the post very closely but will only post regarding what you have said maybe you should post what you hoped to achieve by posting what happened to you."

Seriously, I really have no issue with you disagreeing. But can you see how the incredibly personal remarks have promted me to tarnish everybody with the same brush so to speak, especially as most of the comments have made me see red. Apologies if I have offended, it wasn't my intention in your case.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible. "

Exactly. The OP discussed anal, she's said she can't remember exactly the specifics of what was said and he stopped when asked. Fair enough, and she wasn't slagging him off for that, she was asking if anyone else had experienced something similar.

Some of the comments have basically said it's her own fault for not saying exactly what she didn't want. Well she didn't state she didn't want beating up or watersports or scat or goodness knows what else. So in some people's minds it would appear that therefore she was ok with those as she didn't mention them???

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By *uggers nemesisCouple over a year ago

london

"Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible.

I agree with this,the one comment on here that wound me up was when someone said well he stopped when you asked so whats the big deal? If a female said to me i wont suck your cock and i shove it in her mouth,but then stop when asked ive still committed an assault,its fucking wrong.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible.

Thank you scarlet. I won't use the word sane again in response to you as that also seems to cause great offence ( in that if I haven't used the word sane when commenting on some responses, I must therefore, by implication, be suggesting that that poster is insane for disagreeing, which I'm not!-- I really can't win!)

I just so happen to completely agree with your comments.

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible.

I agree entirely

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By *uggers nemesisCouple over a year ago

london

Don't worry _lexa,i can't believe the way some of these threads twist and turn and people don't read things properly and make assumptions and opinions based on fuck all

sometimes you just can't win

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By *lexa OP Woman over a year ago

southampton

"Don't worry _lexa,i can't believe the way some of these threads twist and turn and people don't read things properly and make assumptions and opinions based on fuck all

sometimes you just can't win

Thank you. I entirely agree again . xx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible.

well since it was me who said i didn't see it as a big deal i presume u mean me? The op said she asked him to stop and carried playing how you see that as assault i don't know...as I've said a few times im sure each and every one of us have done something on a meet we've said we wouldnt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Golden rules of ALL meets are clear ground rules - simple as that; anyone breaks them im off; whether thats male of female - rules are rules especialy where sex meetings are concerned

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible.

I agree entirely

Sorry, i'm lost again. If you agree entirely that the guy assaulted you, why did you carry on having sex with him? Did he threaten you in anyway to carry on? Or did you put it down to him just getting carried away?

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By *uggers nemesisCouple over a year ago

london

"Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible.

Ok well let me put it this way as far as i believe and i could be wrong but in legal terms,if i asked you if i could finger you and you said no and i did that would now be classed as rape,digital penetration,if you told me to get my finger out but allowed me to have sex with you it wouldnt alter the fact that i had assaulted you,i understand that it didnt upset _lexa enough to make her stop but i dont think she was complaining about any other part of the meet just this bit,that he had crossed a clear boundary that had been set beforehand,in my opinion she should have stopped and kicked himout

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some of the responses here are disgusting. The guy was completely out of order, and people are saying 'I don't believe you' based on...what? Their own personal prejudices about women, I'm guessing.

Or 'you have anal on your profile'!

That's like 'you were wearing a short skirt, what did you expect!' when someone's been assaulted. Total victim blaming. Horrible.

Exactly Nawty its not assult if she carried on playing, sympathy threads do my head in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/09/12 13:51:48]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I thought this thread was asking if people had experienced something similar?

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

So posters are now saying this guy assaulted the OP? Without hearing bothcsides of the story? Wow....kangaroo court at its best. Incredible!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Guilty!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can we all move to a new thread to discuss sentencing!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't worry _lexa,i can't believe the way some of these threads twist and turn and people don't read things properly and make assumptions and opinions based on fuck all

sometimes you just can't win

Thank you. I entirely agree again . xx"

Yes some like twisting stuff around at times and i dont under stand what thay run on about alotg of the time ,

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