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Daughters dating older guys
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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None of my business but if the age difference is a lot I'd advise her to steer clear. That also works both ways.if a son is with a much older woman. Whats exciting when you're young can become a burden later on. But ultimately it's their choice. |
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Would depend on a few different things including her age.
Regardless of how 2 people feel about one another there are practical things to think about when entering a relationship with a large age gap, and whether they're prepared to take those potential challenges on board.
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I would feel concerned about a very big age différence for many reasons but there are things I'd be concerned about with a younger or similar aged man too.
We always said that we'd never interfere though (with one exception) so I'd keep my reservations to myself and have done.
The same applies to our son. |
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People trying to say it is equal issue if son with older woman; I disagree; must less of a worry. Anyway,on the subject of daughter it is unpleasant to find out your daughter has been sleeping with a much older man. My daghter was a teen when this happened and the guy was in his 40s. You can easily say the gap doesnt matter, but I was not happy to see someone so old with her and I knew he was bragging about it with other jealous guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have to worry about this for a while but as long as I don't feel there is a threat to her safety, or mental health then I'll let her do whatever she wants, when she wants, and with who she wants. xx |
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Wouldn't allow it. If you're a man who finds stimulating conversation with a girl that much younger then you're too stupid to associate with my family. If you can't make stimulating conversation then you've no business being together. Either way, it's not happening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no one else has said it i guess they are too busy being pc.
It all depends on how old theis "older" chappy is.
If your daughters 21 and he's 70, then in mybosk its a problem
if it was our children that hooked up with an older man/woman, though they may not accpet it as love is blind as they say - i'd remidn them that when they are 35 and the man/woman is 70 almost everyone will ask them if thats there grandfather and do they want to be carers at 35. Sure people can easily remain independnet aged 90 and over but i am talking about the avergae person
chat with them but they will do what they want and vblame you when -if it goes wrong for not saying anyhting or coming between them |
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I would definitely be apprehensive, especially if my daughter was still very young (in terms of age, maturity and/or life experience). Mainly because of life experience knowing the power dynamic in this world and both seeing the draw of older men to young women and how many men abuse this position (not always consciously per se). And I wouldn't want my daughter to be someones midlife trophy or something to rub his ex-wife's nose in who's stuck raising his kids most of the time as he enjoys his new found freedom with my daughter. Nore would I want a guy who cuts my daughters youth short as she trys to match her lifestyle with his more mature lifestyle and freinds. That's not to say I wouldn't be apprehensive of younger guys too (maybe for slightly different reasons). So really I'm apprehensive of all guys but power dynamic and the stories I've seen to many times adds extra layer to a vastly older guy. At the end of the day I'd want her to be with the right guy and that older guy may be the right guy (age is just a number) but I would always start from a position of skepticism.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would be more upset if I discovered my daughters on here than I would be upset about them dating a slightly older man.
Why?? Xx"
Exactly what was about to say - if its good enough for you why not your family |
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"I would be more upset if I discovered my daughters on here than I would be upset about them dating a slightly older man.
Why?? Xx"
In general I'd ask the same question. I'd want her live a rich, free and fulfilling life. And if she found the same pleasure, opportunity and freedom in the scene as we do I'd have no problem with that. Her happiness, self awareness and freedom to be herself is important to me. The only caveat I'd put on that is if my daughter wasn't in the right mental or emotional place to be on here then I would be happy. |
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"I would be more upset if I discovered my daughters on here than I would be upset about them dating a slightly older man.
Why?? Xx
In general I'd ask the same question. I'd want her live a rich, free and fulfilling life. And if she found the same pleasure, opportunity and freedom in the scene as we do I'd have no problem with that. Her happiness, self awareness and freedom to be herself is important to me. The only caveat I'd put on that is if my daughter wasn't in the right mental or emotional place to be on here then I would be happy."
Wouldn't * |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would be more upset if I discovered my daughters on here than I would be upset about them dating a slightly older man.
Why?? Xx
In general I'd ask the same question. I'd want her live a rich, free and fulfilling life. And if she found the same pleasure, opportunity and freedom in the scene as we do I'd have no problem with that. Her happiness, self awareness and freedom to be herself is important to me. The only caveat I'd put on that is if my daughter wasn't in the right mental or emotional place to be on here then I would be happy."
Same here, I'd love for my daughter to join Fab when she's old another and have the same level as fun as the rest of us. As long as she's happy doing it xx |
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A lot of hypocrisy here
Are we talking just sex or a relationship?
I actually know a mother and daughter who
Both have profiles on here and go to clubs
Together,If my son or daughter were on here
Then that’s fine by me |
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"A lot of hypocrisy here
Are we talking just sex or a relationship?
I actually know a mother and daughter who
Both have profiles on here and go to clubs
Together,If my son or daughter were on here
Then that’s fine by me "
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of hypocrisy here
Are we talking just sex or a relationship?
I actually know a mother and daughter who
Both have profiles on here and go to clubs
Together,If my son or daughter were on here
Then that’s fine by me
Totally agree "
Good post.
TBH, the bottom line - even if people were unhappy to see their children even parents, grandparents here there is not much they could do about that and that is a simple fact of life. |
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By *aui.Man
over a year ago
around here |
I wouldn’t mind at all. In fact I think an older guy may actually be a good thing. I’m sure he would have respect and know the correct way to treat her.
I don’t understand anyone saying that they won’t allow it. Urm, it’s not up to you. Would you let others tell you how to live? If my parents told me who I could and couldn’t have sex with I’d fuck em right off! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn’t mind at all. In fact I think an older guy may actually be a good thing. I’m sure he would have respect and know the correct way to treat her.
I don’t understand anyone saying that they won’t allow it. Urm, it’s not up to you. Would you let others tell you how to live? If my parents told me who I could and couldn’t have sex with I’d fuck em right off! "
by older i guess you mean your daughter is 222 and guy is 50ish not 70 etc?
or someones daughter is lets say 17 and guy is 50
so you see there can be problems with age but like all of us when we were younger lsitening to parents is hard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of hypocrisy here
Are we talking just sex or a relationship?
I actually know a mother and daughter who
Both have profiles on here and go to clubs
Together,If my son or daughter were on here
Then that’s fine by me "
Going to clubs with your kids is another level of dynamic. If everyone is comfortable I guess. Xx |
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By *aui.Man
over a year ago
around here |
"A lot of hypocrisy here
Are we talking just sex or a relationship?
I actually know a mother and daughter who
Both have profiles on here and go to clubs
Together,If my son or daughter were on here
Then that’s fine by me
Going to clubs with your kids is another level of dynamic. If everyone is comfortable I guess. Xx"
I don’t suppose that would be for everyone and I can understand that. But as you say if everyone is comfortable with that then who can judge. I suppose you would always know there is someone at the club that will look out for you more than anyone else ever could. |
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"
I don’t understand anyone saying that they won’t allow it. Urm, it’s not up to you. Would you let others tell you how to live? "
If you're determined to bang your head against the wall then you expect to be put in a padded room. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Basically why I ask is I have a girl 21 who I used to work with and we had a couple of drinks together with old colleges and there was something there nothing happened but she has been testing me wanting to see how we would get on dating but her father is only 38 I'm closer in age to him. And I dont want it to cause friction for her at home. |
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"Basically why I ask is I have a girl 21 who I used to work with and we had a couple of drinks together with old colleges and there was something there nothing happened but she has been testing me wanting to see how we would get on dating but her father is only 38 I'm closer in age to him. And I dont want it to cause friction for her at home. "
It's only 10 years, I often dated guys your age at her age.
The fact that your considering her parents says alot about you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of hypocrisy here
Are we talking just sex or a relationship?
I actually know a mother and daughter who
Both have profiles on here and go to clubs
Together,If my son or daughter were on here
Then that’s fine by me
Going to clubs with your kids is another level of dynamic. If everyone is comfortable I guess. Xx
I don’t suppose that would be for everyone and I can understand that. But as you say if everyone is comfortable with that then who can judge. I suppose you would always know there is someone at the club that will look out for you more than anyone else ever could."
Where sex is concerned, it's nothing short of weird and people will judge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically why I ask is I have a girl 21 who I used to work with and we had a couple of drinks together with old colleges and there was something there nothing happened but she has been testing me wanting to see how we would get on dating but her father is only 38 I'm closer in age to him. And I dont want it to cause friction for her at home. "
10 years is nothing. I've always gone for older guys, it's never caused a problem. My parents had quite a large age gap too, age is just a number. |
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"Basically why I ask is I have a girl 21 who I used to work with and we had a couple of drinks together with old colleges and there was something there nothing happened but she has been testing me wanting to see how we would get on dating but her father is only 38 I'm closer in age to him. And I dont want it to cause friction for her at home. "
He became a dad at 17? |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"Wouldn't allow it. If you're a man who finds stimulating conversation with a girl that much younger then you're too stupid to associate with my family. If you can't make stimulating conversation then you've no business being together. Either way, it's not happening. "
What if your daughter was 18 or older? |
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"None of my business but if the age difference is a lot I'd advise her to steer clear. That also works both ways.if a son is with a much older woman. Whats exciting when you're young can become a burden later on. But ultimately it's their choice. "
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
If our daughter was happy then that would be all that matters. Hopefully an older guy would be mature and respectful of her, and live her. As a father whose daughter was in a very abusive relationship from the age of 16 I would prefer that over the thug who was basically only two years old that her but ruled her entire life and nothing we could do or say could make her see what was happening. |
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"Wouldn't allow it. If you're a man who finds stimulating conversation with a girl that much younger then you're too stupid to associate with my family. If you can't make stimulating conversation then you've no business being together. Either way, it's not happening.
What if your daughter was 18 or older?"
I think 25 is the cut off point. Nobody has their life sorted out at 18, there's nothing to talk about when your life's are in totally different stages. |
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