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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Say no on a meet?
I've been thinking about the meets that I've had that weren't all that great and how I probably should've ended them, but I'm not sure how I'd say no without causing offence. I just wondered how other people did this and wether the other person was offended? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say no on a meet?
I've been thinking about the meets that I've had that weren't all that great and how I probably should've ended them, but I'm not sure how I'd say no without causing offence. I just wondered how other people did this and wether the other person was offended? "
Just shout out loud Jesus Christ i left the iron on.......... gotta go quick chuck we have no insurance,then make the dash  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Say no on a meet?
I've been thinking about the meets that I've had that weren't all that great and how I probably should've ended them, but I'm not sure how I'd say no without causing offence. I just wondered how other people did this and wether the other person was offended?
Just shout out loud Jesus Christ i left the iron on.......... gotta go quick chuck we have no insurance,then make the dash "
Even in my own home?! Maybe I should say 'I think YOU'VE left the iron on'?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say no on a meet?
I've been thinking about the meets that I've had that weren't all that great and how I probably should've ended them, but I'm not sure how I'd say no without causing offence. I just wondered how other people did this and wether the other person was offended?
Just shout out loud Jesus Christ i left the iron on.......... gotta go quick chuck we have no insurance,then make the dash
Even in my own home?! Maybe I should say 'I think YOU'VE left the iron on'?! "
ok then no problem....... nip the loo and phome yer ma,mate,sister etc and tell them to call you asap,then when they do you answer and go OMG OMG that was Argos they are round the corner in the van and are delivering my new 3 piece suite...you gotta go quick as the next door neighbour works there |
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Maybe don't invite them straight to your home but meet at a local pub or cafe and make no promises that anything further will happen.
It would be very difficult to say no once they are in your home... |
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By *ifornowCouple
over a year ago
East Lincs |
There doesn't need to be any offence caused. This is why we like a social meet first and there's no pressure on anyone.It can be followed with a friendly mail expressing your wish to pursue things further or perhaps not.
There will only be problems if you are meeting for the first time for the purposes of playing and then suddenly realise that you are not particularly suited.But even then, a pre arrangement to not proceed if not all happy will alleviate the issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is a big boys/girls world. If people cannot accept a polite "no" they really shouldn't be here. So just be polite but honest. "Thanks for meeting up with me. I've enjoyed the social meet, but I don't want to take it further".
We have been turned down and have turned others down. no one has been offended. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is a big boys/girls world. If people cannot accept a polite "no" they really shouldn't be here. So just be polite but honest. "Thanks for meeting up with me. I've enjoyed the social meet, but I don't want to take it further".
We have been turned down and have turned others down. no one has been offended."
Spot on. Usually I meet a guy socially on the first instance so if I'm not feeling any connection I simply say no thanks and no harm done, and I've yet to have a guy get awkward about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just need to set the expectation from the start, you'll have a drink first and then play if everyone's happy
tbh if someone said no to us because they left the iron on ir had a fake phone call, it would be obvious and we'd take more offence than them just being honest
we don't want anyone to swap with us if they're not comfortable so would rather they just said |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Unfortunately there are some people who struggle with the concept of 'no'. I had a social meet with a guy and had made it clear there wouldn't be any playing from the start, as it was my time of the month. He kept pestering me, saying that he didn't live too far away and he'd make it 'worth my while'. In the end I told him that, as he had problems with me saying no in a non-playing environment, I could only assume he'd have problems with me saying 'no' in a playing environment which was a situation I had no intention of getting into. I hope he moderated his behaviour after that but I made it clear we weren't going any further.
Social meet first always, so you're not put in a position where things could go wrong. |
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For me i only do a social on a first meet and at home is not an option.
I prefer to meet for coffee or a drink in a public place that way your free to chat and you soon find out if you want to take it further.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the golden rule within the scene isn't folks. I always stress to people before and during a meet if I don't want to play or during the play for whatever reason I were to say No, no offence is intended and vice a versa. Up to now I've had to make decision twice not to commence play. One couple had no problem with it but one couple did. I won't go in to detail. All I will say is the pub went quiet and it wasn't me making a scene. |
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