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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are who you are.
Society is a lot different these days to what we imagine it would be, and your fears are probably worse than the reality.
Whatever you decide, good luck  "
thanks you xx |
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If your family loves you they shouldn't bat an eyelid, and your true friends should still think the same about you.
You are still you, your sexuality shouldn't matter.
I do understand your concerns though as some of my family members struggled when a member of our family came out.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dude, sexual orientation is a human invention. You are who you are. I don't agree with labels at all. We are all only here once so we should be able to enjoy our lives in whichever ways that make us happy and with whoever you like. Don't fear what others have to say. If they're not supportive, they are not worth your time |
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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago
West Mids |
"You are who you are.
Society is a lot different these days to what we imagine it would be, and your fears are probably worse than the reality.
Whatever you decide, good luck "
Wise words.
Good luck OP. |
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I never really 'came out' as such, I just got to a point where I lived as me, voiced my opinions and let people come to the realisation on their own. Who I find attractive has nothing to do with anyone but me, and my hubby lol, but if someone was ever funny with me I just cut them out of my life. Life is too short to keep arseholes around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents don’t know that I’m Bi, it’s not that I’m ashamed of who I am because I’m definitely not but my parents are both in their late 70’s and although they try to be liberal and accepting I have to accept that they were brought up in very different times and it’s hard to change a way of thinking after it’s been ingrained into them over many years, it’s not their fault it’s the fault of how society used to be. I know they would still love me and would never turn their back on me but deep down they’d be disappointed and ashamed of me so I don’t want to make them feel that way. I don’t have anything to gain by telling them and I would feel like I’m being selfish if I did as it would make life easier for me but worse for them.
Obviously everyone’s situation is different and not all parents are as stuck in their ways as mine so it’s difficult to advise someone else about what to do without knowing their parents but that’s the situation I’m in and I’m fine with it so if you don’t feel like you can tell your parents at least you know you’re not the only person who can’t. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iam think about comeing out about being bisexual but worried how friend n family mite react??"
"Every time someone stands up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place."
Captain Holt, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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You don't have to do it all in one go, you could reach the point where those who matter know by gradual progression. It's not that there's anything wrong, just that you may find that less daunting and easier to handle. It probably helps to be clear why you want others to know - such as if it's driven by being an open person and it feels like you're holding a secret, which the holding of it is the issue. Or you're wanting confirmation of who is truly there for you, regardless of the nuts and bolts of your lifestyle etc.
You could test things out potentially with new friends and people who you get to know, perhaps who don't know the others. You might learn about yourself too and the experiment could help you to clarify how you want to pursue things.
You could perhaps go to a bi/gay bar or club with people you know and let the environment help you to unravel more of you.
If you could date any gender, you could perhaps find that a bigger driver for coming out.
There's still lots of ignorance around, especially about bi people. That's why it may help you to ground yourself and understanding yourself and your needs, before you fully launch this aspect of you out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m in a similar situation regarding telling my friends that I wear ladies underwear. Nearly all my friends know that I’m Bi and they’re absolutely fine about it but only 2 of my very closest friends know that I wear knickers. The problem I have is that I wear them at all times except at work so whenever I meet up with my friends I’m wearing them so I have to be very careful to make sure no one sees them. It means I have to have a t-shirt tucked into my jeans at all times and another top over it that’s quite long, I also have to keep my jeans pulled up and the belt done up tight to stop them lowering. It’s really not a good look and I never feel fully relaxed. I would love it if everyone knew so I could dress how I want to and feel comfortable without being worried that someone will notice I’m wearing knickers. I just think it’s a big ask to expect them to totally accept it though and I know that they’d treat me differently if they knew. I’m all for everyone being able to be themselves without fear or being judged but unfortunately it’s not always the case and although society is a lot more tolerant these days I don’t think we’re at the stage where a man wearing ladies underwear is totally acceptable yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m in a similar situation regarding telling my friends that I wear ladies underwear. Nearly all my friends know that I’m Bi and they’re absolutely fine about it but only 2 of my very closest friends know that I wear knickers. The problem I have is that I wear them at all times except at work so whenever I meet up with my friends I’m wearing them so I have to be very careful to make sure no one sees them. It means I have to have a t-shirt tucked into my jeans at all times and another top over it that’s quite long, I also have to keep my jeans pulled up and the belt done up tight to stop them lowering. It’s really not a good look and I never feel fully relaxed. I would love it if everyone knew so I could dress how I want to and feel comfortable without being worried that someone will notice I’m wearing knickers. I just think it’s a big ask to expect them to totally accept it though and I know that they’d treat me differently if they knew. I’m all for everyone being able to be themselves without fear or being judged but unfortunately it’s not always the case and although society is a lot more tolerant these days I don’t think we’re at the stage where a man wearing ladies underwear is totally acceptable yet. "
Can't help but feel like this strays from the original topic somewhat...Apples and oranges springs to mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m in a similar situation regarding telling my friends that I wear ladies underwear. Nearly all my friends know that I’m Bi and they’re absolutely fine about it but only 2 of my very closest friends know that I wear knickers. The problem I have is that I wear them at all times except at work so whenever I meet up with my friends I’m wearing them so I have to be very careful to make sure no one sees them. It means I have to have a t-shirt tucked into my jeans at all times and another top over it that’s quite long, I also have to keep my jeans pulled up and the belt done up tight to stop them lowering. It’s really not a good look and I never feel fully relaxed. I would love it if everyone knew so I could dress how I want to and feel comfortable without being worried that someone will notice I’m wearing knickers. I just think it’s a big ask to expect them to totally accept it though and I know that they’d treat me differently if they knew. I’m all for everyone being able to be themselves without fear or being judged but unfortunately it’s not always the case and although society is a lot more tolerant these days I don’t think we’re at the stage where a man wearing ladies underwear is totally acceptable yet.
Can't help but feel like this strays from the original topic somewhat...Apples and oranges springs to mind."
Sorry, it wasn’t my intention to take the thread off topic, I thought it was relevant as it’s regarding coming out to friends and being worried how they’ll react, even though OP is coming out as bi and I’m coming out as wearing knickers. I just thought it would be of some comfort to OP to hear about someone who’s in a similar position to him so that he feels less alone, as I know how lonely it feels to be hiding something from friends and family.
I don’t feel like I’m in a position to advise him on what to do as I don’t know his friends or family. If they’re the sort of people who are totally intolerant and will disown him then it’s probably best he doesn’t tell them but if they’re very liberal and open minded then telling them will be fine and he can open up to them. Good advise is normally only good advise for a specific situation and set of circumstances, it rarely suits all cases. |
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By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago
harwich |
do you need to make a dramatic statement ? i would just let it ride as it is just be truthful if asked your opinion on related matters
just be prepared to call out the bigots as and when you feel its necessary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"do you need to make a dramatic statement ? i would just let it ride as it is just be truthful if asked your opinion on related matters
just be prepared to call out the bigots as and when you feel its necessary"
Why are you assuming it's a "dramatic statement"? What's dramatic about someone saying they're bisexual? Sounds kinda homophobic to me  |
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