FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Punching Above Your Weight
Punching Above Your Weight
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't. "
There is a serious amount of assumption in there! |
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"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't.
There is a serious amount of assumption in there!"
Well you're the one assuming the couple is mismatched... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not particularly attractive (as you can see from my profile) but I used to be in a relationship with an extremely physically attractive women, she had a beautiful personality as well. I was always being told that I was punching above my weight and it didn’t bother me really as I knew that in terms of appearance I was. I always feel like I am though as I consider most people to be better looking than me. This particular woman just happened to be attracted to men with dad bods and loved body hair, she was also Domme, so in a lot of ways I was very much what she liked and we were a good match despite it appearing unbalanced to people looking in from the outside. We also had great chemistry and connected on an emotional level which was the most important thing. |
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"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't. "
I value looks as much as men - particularly when looking for a meet rather than a life partner - so in essence I get what the op is saying.
However op - I’ve punched above my weight many a time on here and been with some absolutely gorgeous men and ladies - so it definitely works both ways!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
"
can't say that about you as you are hiding your profile.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe a hint of the green eyed monster op?
I'm sure the couple in question are very happy together and the male half has talents that would make you wish you were him.
I can't comment on your profile as its hidden but maybe you should just enjoy the pics and leave the jeoulousy on the fence |
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"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't.
I value looks as much as men - particularly when looking for a meet rather than a life partner - so in essence I get what the op is saying.
"
But since you said "rather than a life partner", you also get what I am saying. Yes it makes sense you'd have casual sex with the best looking guy but there are bigger considerations for a serious relationship. |
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I've never considered myself to be punching above my weight and I've had fun with some pretty attractive women, not just on here.
Other people may well think or believe I'm punching above my weight but that's their problem, not mine.  |
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"No such thing as punching, we all offer something different to a relationship.. I value a hell of a lot of things before looks even come into it."
Exactly why do people get jealous it’s a disgusting trait |
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You assume that people's attractions are the same. You may think 1 person in a relationship is more attractive than the other but somebody else would see the exact opposite.
People rarely understand that others thought processes aren't the same as there own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't.
There is a serious amount of assumption in there!"
I was just thinking the same!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s about finding a balance between sexual compatibility and attraction for me - you could be chris hemsworth, but if we aren’t on the same sexual wavelength, it’s just not happening
"
Wise words. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe a hint of the green eyed monster op?
I'm sure the couple in question are very happy together and the male half has talents that would make you wish you were him.
I can't comment on your profile as its hidden but maybe you should just enjoy the pics and leave the jeoulousy on the fence "
No green issues here just an observation based on a visit to my local club actually.
I suppose we all seek different things but sometimes when I see what I perceive to be a mis match I do wonder how or why. Human nature I guess.
As for me the profile is hidden so I can take a rest from the avalanche of mail from all the nubile ladies who want my body?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are many attractive qualities that reach far being looks. Just looking a photos will never give you a sense of who that person is.
The thought of punching above their weight never occurs to me. Though I’m well aware that fab can be and will continue to be a very shallow place for many people, it will never be that for me.
I adore my partner and at times I still can’t believe that we are together and feel I’m luckiest guy on the planet, but that’s not quite the same thing as punching |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No such thing as punching, we all offer something different to a relationship.. I value a hell of a lot of things before looks even come into it.
Exactly why do people get jealous it’s a disgusting trait "
I could think of a lot more traits that could be termed so! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a solid 6.5 myself, and yet having met ladies who have made it to the top of Page 1 on hot pics, I can confirm that theres no such thing as punching.
It's all about who you are, not how flat your abs might be. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't.
There is a serious amount of assumption in there!"
Taken in the context of your opening post... Not really.
Anyway...
I hate things like 'punching above their weight' and rating people's looks...
They are placing someone's value solely on one person's view of physical attraction...
Everyone is worth more than that noone should be judged for their looks (in any way). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe a hint of the green eyed monster op?
I'm sure the couple in question are very happy together and the male half has talents that would make you wish you were him.
I can't comment on your profile as its hidden but maybe you should just enjoy the pics and leave the jeoulousy on the fence "
LOLS
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just done a quick browse of my area I know it’s not scientific but what is on a sex site.? Of the three pages viewed roughly half the posters wanted face pictures to open a dialogue. We all seek attraction I just asked what was respondents views on an aesthetic mix match.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although, i do understand the point you're making OP, attractiveness is entirely subjective.
What one person perceives as 'punching' another will see as stunning.
So what we think is all nugatory really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People are more than what they look like and, if they are not I'm not interested."
Not just that the only real types I have seen "punch above.." are the super rich old men and lades that are 70/80 years old and off with a nice looking 30 year old.
other than that, most couples when anylaised properly are usally equal.
Not you OP, but I've met a few blokes that often said "what are you doing with him..you can do better" are often types that cant get a woman or the woman they have is nothing special in looks and I used to pity their OH. These types of guys would cheat on their OH even id the other woman was a so-called not so nice looking lady.
When i was a lot younger i dreamed about what i though were nice looking girls but soon educated to real life nice looking/nice people |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
No, really but be I do wonder is your attitude to life gets in your way at times, "
My attitude to life? I do fine thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just done a quick browse of my area I know it’s not scientific but what is on a sex site.? Of the three pages viewed roughly half the posters wanted face pictures to open a dialogue. We all seek attraction I just asked what was respondents views on an aesthetic mix match.
"
The reason most want face pics is either to see your are genuine or something else
We never do face pics and never ever ask for them before the meet if face pics are not on site |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
I think if you look apart from Fab. This applies mainly to males. The comment they get . How did you get a looker / stunner like that ? . Used to know a male years ago . He was not athletic , not overweight etc. Used to get a lot of dates . Yes some very good looking females , good figures etc. He was the type of male who everyone liked . Got on with . He said his secret for females was, making them smile / laugh etc . Go from there . ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok guys you may disagree with my post but keep your comments to the main body of the thread.
This is a recreational sex site and for the most part based on physical attraction. The fact there are message filters would suggest members can narrow down the selection of friends prior to contact.
Sometimes when there is disparity in a match it does sometimes cause a comment, those who say different are being a little selective in their posts. |
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"Ok guys you may disagree with my post but keep your comments to the main body of the thread.
This is a recreational sex site and for the most part based on physical attraction. The fact there are message filters would suggest members can narrow down the selection of friends prior to contact.
Sometimes when there is disparity in a match it does sometimes cause a comment, those who say different are being a little selective in their posts."
This maybe a sex site, but couples don't get together just for that. There are a myriad of reasons why people choose their life partner.
Once together they live their life as they wish and those that last are to be congratulated.
I look at happy couples and think that all the ingredients have baked a good cake.
I have dated and has relationships with very hot ladies and some who aren't classically beautiful.
The only difference was as the relationship broke down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had a few negative comments about the guy in my veri. ‘What did you see in him?’ type of thing. Personality is so important to me, and it really doesn’t make the sender look good when they fire off messages like this! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few negative comments about the guy in my veri. ‘What did you see in him?’ type of thing. Personality is so important to me, and it really doesn’t make the sender look good when they fire off messages like this!"
I don’t understand your point? |
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"I’ve had a few negative comments about the guy in my veri. ‘What did you see in him?’ type of thing. Personality is so important to me, and it really doesn’t make the sender look good when they fire off messages like this!
I don’t understand your point?"
Exactly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few negative comments about the guy in my veri. ‘What did you see in him?’ type of thing. Personality is so important to me, and it really doesn’t make the sender look good when they fire off messages like this!
I don’t understand your point?
Exactly. "
Exactly what? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few negative comments about the guy in my veri. ‘What did you see in him?’ type of thing. Personality is so important to me, and it really doesn’t make the sender look good when they fire off messages like this!"
I (Mrs) think the guy in your veri is cute, to be honest! But thats by the by. I'm shocked that anyone would message you and ask you what you saw in him!!! Wow! 
The weird and wonderful world of Fab!  |
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"I’ve had a few negative comments about the guy in my veri. ‘What did you see in him?’ type of thing. Personality is so important to me, and it really doesn’t make the sender look good when they fire off messages like this!"
What you see in him is what the senders of the negative comments lack. Reading both your veris- sounds like you had a brilliant night - which is what matters more than half the wank chatters |
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By *ikAshCouple
over a year ago
London |
"I’ve had a few negative comments about the guy in my veri. ‘What did you see in him?’ type of thing. Personality is so important to me, and it really doesn’t make the sender look good when they fire off messages like this!
I (Mrs) think the guy in your veri is cute, to be honest! But thats by the by. I'm shocked that anyone would message you and ask you what you saw in him!!! Wow!
The weird and wonderful world of Fab! "
I think unfortunately some people do judge veris… crazy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few negative comments about the guy in my veri. ‘What did you see in him?’ type of thing. Personality is so important to me, and it really doesn’t make the sender look good when they fire off messages like this!
I don’t understand your point?"
Sorry, I’m not sure what it is you don’t understand. The post is about punching above your weight. I said that some guys have messaged me to say that the man in my veri was punching. I disagreed, because it’s not all about looks for me.
Hope that clarifies it - maybe I didn’t make myself very clear! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had a few negative comments about the guy in my veri. ‘What did you see in him?’ type of thing. Personality is so important to me, and it really doesn’t make the sender look good when they fire off messages like this!
I (Mrs) think the guy in your veri is cute, to be honest! But thats by the by. I'm shocked that anyone would message you and ask you what you saw in him!!! Wow!
The weird and wonderful world of Fab! "
I know, it’s so rude and unnecessary! |
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By *ikAshCouple
over a year ago
London |
There is no punching… we all see things differently… the beauty of life!
I know that what I look for in a swinging swap, may be different to what I already have with my life partner.
Ash x  |
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"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't.
I value looks as much as men - particularly when looking for a meet rather than a life partner - so in essence I get what the op is saying.
But since you said "rather than a life partner", you also get what I am saying. Yes it makes sense you'd have casual sex with the best looking guy but there are bigger considerations for a serious relationship. "
Of course - but that’s why there can be a conflict of interests in some respects. I’ve come across couples who are clearly very well suited and very much in love - where one happens to be physically (by ‘normal’ consensus) far more attractive than the other. Whilst it’s not an issue to either of them on a relationship level - it can be an issue when trying to attract play partners.
I imagine the op was speaking in this context anyway. X |
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By *ikAshCouple
over a year ago
London |
"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't.
I value looks as much as men - particularly when looking for a meet rather than a life partner - so in essence I get what the op is saying.
But since you said "rather than a life partner", you also get what I am saying. Yes it makes sense you'd have casual sex with the best looking guy but there are bigger considerations for a serious relationship.
Of course - but that’s why there can be a conflict of interests in some respects. I’ve come across couples who are clearly very well suited and very much in love - where one happens to be physically (by ‘normal’ consensus) far more attractive than the other. Whilst it’s not an issue to either of them on a relationship level - it can be an issue when trying to attract play partners.
I imagine the op was speaking in this context anyway. X"
Agreed! When meeting couples to play with, it can be difficult to find 4-way attraction, but it still isn’t all about looks, personality counts too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not entirely sure why people view punching as a bad thing. I don’t consider myself to be a particularly good looking man but I love the idea people look at my beautiful partner and might consider I’m punching. Nothing wrong in my eyes with people looking at my partner and then at me and thinking you lucky bastard!  |
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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago
Suffolk - East Anglia |
Wife and I were at a swinging party a few years ago. Now I'm no James Bond, just an ordinary guy. After dinner most of the party members had paired off and gone to bedrooms, leaving me and this absolutely gorgeous lady alone. I wondered if they hadn't asked her to a bedroom because she was so good looking and were scared of rejection. We got chatting and I thought, "well she can only say no." I asked her if she would like to go to a bedroom with me for fun and she said yes! We had two hours of the most fantastic sex imaginable. She was fantastic.
Punch above your weight? No, go for it. |
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"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't.
I value looks as much as men - particularly when looking for a meet rather than a life partner - so in essence I get what the op is saying.
But since you said "rather than a life partner", you also get what I am saying. Yes it makes sense you'd have casual sex with the best looking guy but there are bigger considerations for a serious relationship.
Of course - but that’s why there can be a conflict of interests in some respects. I’ve come across couples who are clearly very well suited and very much in love - where one happens to be physically (by ‘normal’ consensus) far more attractive than the other. Whilst it’s not an issue to either of them on a relationship level - it can be an issue when trying to attract play partners.
I imagine the op was speaking in this context anyway. X
Agreed! When meeting couples to play with, it can be difficult to find 4-way attraction, but it still isn’t all about looks, personality counts too x"
Of course it does - massively.
Tbh that’s the main reason I’ve not been tempted to have a couple profile so far. It can be hard enough to find a 2 way attraction on here at times - 4-way must be virtually impossible I imagine. X |
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I believe the term "punching above his weight" was coined by a very jealous guy after seeing the bf of the girl he fancied. As looks and attractiveness are all subjective, the term is nothing more than bs. No one person is too good/not good enough for someone else based on what society as a whole decides is attractive, as that fickle goal post also changes drastically over the years. |
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By *ikAshCouple
over a year ago
London |
"If we assumed that women value looks as much as men, then we would agree. But since they don't, we don't.
I value looks as much as men - particularly when looking for a meet rather than a life partner - so in essence I get what the op is saying.
But since you said "rather than a life partner", you also get what I am saying. Yes it makes sense you'd have casual sex with the best looking guy but there are bigger considerations for a serious relationship.
Of course - but that’s why there can be a conflict of interests in some respects. I’ve come across couples who are clearly very well suited and very much in love - where one happens to be physically (by ‘normal’ consensus) far more attractive than the other. Whilst it’s not an issue to either of them on a relationship level - it can be an issue when trying to attract play partners.
I imagine the op was speaking in this context anyway. X
Agreed! When meeting couples to play with, it can be difficult to find 4-way attraction, but it still isn’t all about looks, personality counts too x
Of course it does - massively.
Tbh that’s the main reason I’ve not been tempted to have a couple profile so far. It can be hard enough to find a 2 way attraction on here at times - 4-way must be virtually impossible I imagine. X"
You’ll be surprised… it does happen. Lots of really lovely couples on here xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have had it a few times from guys the snakey ones are the funniest, yeah that'll work mate 
Only ever had it once from a woman that was at a club and she came up and sat next to me, was gobsmacked to be fair don't know where that came from. her fella was trying to get my mrs attention had been for a few weeks previous, haven't been back to a club since.
Not her fault really you could see if he found a couple he liked his mrs was expected to seal the deal sort of thing, bet they had a domestic that night. |
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I’m punching - definitely, and proud of it.
Not so much when I was a young-un, back then I could pull em with both the looks and the charm - I somehow managed to land L (to many peoples disbelief). Sadly men age differently to women though - apart from the lucky swines who somehow manage to keep both their hair and their looks.
Thankfully women aren’t as looks orientated as men generally speaking, but fabswingers really is a different ball game so men have to accept this world really is taken on face value.
In the real world the average Joe does stand a chance providing he makes a bit of an effort with his dress sense and has the ability to engage in decent conversation.
Looks really are skin deep and a bonus when it comes to companionship IMO
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
"
Some may say that I am punching above my weight, but none of you know me like she does!
Sometimes it is not all about the looks, there are many other qualities in life! |
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I’ve always found it to be quite a shallow term really! Especially if it was going on looks alone! I do know someone who says it all the time about himself when introducing his wife to new people, but wonder if that’s a way of getting in there first? Maybe heard it so many times he’s now adopted it? Miss pc |
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"I’ve always found it to be quite a shallow term really! Especially if it was going on looks alone! I do know someone who says it all the time about himself when introducing his wife to new people, but wonder if that’s a way of getting in there first? Maybe heard it so many times he’s now adopted it? Miss pc "
I'm not keen on it as a concept and I find it odd if someone routinely uses that sort of thing to introduce themselves |
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"I’ve always found it to be quite a shallow term really! Especially if it was going on looks alone! I do know someone who says it all the time about himself when introducing his wife to new people, but wonder if that’s a way of getting in there first? Maybe heard it so many times he’s now adopted it? Miss pc
I'm not keen on it as a concept and I find it odd if someone routinely uses that sort of thing to introduce themselves "
I agree! Maybe when I see him next I’ll ask him why he says it, it would be interesting to know tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lol just to save confusion i don't like it either not something i say, when i spoke of it much later, i should of said something on the night she would of loved to have responded. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
"
Looks are great but mostly I’ll go for the personality and sense of humor !
I’ve only looks and zero personality that’s my issue |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
Looks are great but mostly I’ll go for the personality and sense of humor !
I’ve only looks and zero personality that’s my issue "
Yet so
Modest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
"
I love punching....
Quite an ego boost!
I get the feeling, you haven't been so lucky in life!  |
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
Looks are great but mostly I’ll go for the personality and sense of humor !
I’ve only looks and zero personality that’s my issue "
Well I’ve got personality but zero looks. Wanna make out?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
"
That's why so many couples have no pics of the man. |
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
"
No. If your shallow enough to sum up a whole relationship based on a photo then that's your business. However we recognise that successful relationships are based on far more than a moment in time caught on camera. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
Looks are great but mostly I’ll go for the personality and sense of humor !
I’ve only looks and zero personality that’s my issue
Well I’ve got personality but zero looks. Wanna make out? "
I’m Cracking up here that was hilarious!!!
But honestly sorry I don’t kiss ugly chicks
I’m kidding that’s a plan !
I assume you like toy figures from the 80’s ??! |
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I’d take it with a pinch of salt on FAB…it’s a shallow place.
There are a lot of couples with age differences, weight differences, just differences but it’s not for other people to question why they are together as there’s hundreds of ingredients that go into making a relationship.
I’d say we are well matched…although I tell C I’m the luckiest guy as that’s how I feel. But that’s not the same as punching above.
K |
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I(Mark) have said before that we have had many insults about my looks compared to Debra. Mainly people saying I must have lots of money. That’s an insult to her too as it presumes she’s a gold digger.
We do not have money by the way!
We stopped using the directing rooms because of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I(Mark) have said before that we have had many insults about my looks compared to Debra. Mainly people saying I must have lots of money. That’s an insult to her too as it presumes she’s a gold digger.
We do not have money by the way!
We stopped using the directing rooms because of it. "
Why should an obviously happy couple feel the need to leave these rooms cause Cheeto eating trolls are giving you guys grief !!!
Be proud fuck them PlayStation/porn hub enthusiasts !!!
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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago
Manchester Area |
What is attraction? What is Beauty?
Have personal features I hate but had people say they are what atracted them to me..have friends of all ages shapes and colours who are beautiful from where I stand ...judgjng a book bynits cover is a sure fire way of missing the best creations ever... in the words of Bob Marley Judge Not.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
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Already replied earlier in the thread, but this posting says a hell of a lot more about you that it does others! |
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"Looking at some of the fab pictures, one does, do you ever think, Jesus he is punching above his weight?
Already replied earlier in the thread, but this posting says a hell of a lot more about you that it does others!"
100% agree.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What’s attractive to one is unattractive another.
Attraction is more than looks even on fab(for a lot of people).
I never understand the punching above their weight in that respect… it’s quite disrespectful I’ve found |
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No matter what arbitrary standard you use to measure aesthetic appeal, I am not an attractive woman.
I've had both relationships and sexual arrangements with some incredibly attractive men.
Am I punching? While I consider myself very fortunate to have met all of my partners I am great company, very socially adept, smart, resourceful, funny as fuck and I bang like a barn door in a force five gale, so I consider us both lucky to have found each other.
Anyone who wants to judge a disparity in physical attractiveness is more than welcome to do so (the judgement of complete strangers is never something I've worried about!), but they completely miss every other aspect of what makes a person sexually appealing to another. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was with 2 regulars I had here, one for 2 months and another for 5 months, that one recently ended. My view though, what ever the reason for it, boredom, curiosity or even a bet im happy with that. Enjoyed every second of getting to play with them and never questioned it. Just happy to be a part of what they wanted. |
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