FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > fabulous single men....
fabulous single men....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fed up of being pillaried as a single guy as if we are all arseholes and shouldn't be here. Honestly the way folk go on these days about men and single men and the toxic masculinity thing, it's incredibly demoralising trying to cut a line through all of it to behave in such a way as to not offend or upset and yet still be man enough and attract women and still be true to yourself.. it's ridiculous. Guys are getting tired of it. If you don't like a single guys profile then you don't have to look at it, use the block button. Most of us guys with half a brain know the use of it isn't personal just a way of altering your fab experience along the lines you seek, as I do with the block button too. Give us a break. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
We've met plenty of fabulous single guys and we're talking to more. It's very easy to le out the not so fabulous ones 
In all honesty, it's couples we have more of an issue with right now. Just this morning another new couple appear locally, good (normal) pics and sensible profile. Wink, first message "I'm looking for a female while my partner is away at work". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You just be you and carry on. Good guys do get noticed although the percentage of those giving bad name to other's is high.
I don't get hundreds of messages a day, but if you'd see my inbox - you'd understand why single guys get tared with the same brush.
Whatever you see don't take it personally. Just think it doesn't apply to you as you're better than that. Good luck |
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We’ve always had good experiences with single guys we have met off here. I find if I spend a bit of time chatting I can usually get a feel of whether they are going to be the kind of person I want to get to know better. I just think you have to give people a chance.
As someone said above, we find single men much easier to deal with than some of the couples on here.
Kx |
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I find the people who moan about single guys the most.....Is the single guys.
I dont see women making endless threads moaning about them. Ive met some great ones and would not be here if there were none. This " Most single guys ruin for the rest of us" is honestly..well a bunch of crap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ironically the "single guys" on here that cause all the dramas and don't meet when arranged or ghost when it comes to meeting are in fact not single "guys" |
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"Fed up of being pillaried as a single guy as if we are all arseholes and shouldn't be here. Honestly the way folk go on these days about men and single men and the toxic masculinity thing, it's incredibly demoralising trying to cut a line through all of it to behave in such a way as to not offend or upset and yet still be man enough and attract women and still be true to yourself.. it's ridiculous. Guys are getting tired of it. If you don't like a single guys profile then you don't have to look at it, use the block button. Most of us guys with half a brain know the use of it isn't personal just a way of altering your fab experience along the lines you seek, as I do with the block button too. Give us a break. "
Well said. 99% of single men on here are lovely and very respectful. Without them I would not be here. The most trouble I have had on fab is with nasty females who go out of their way to cause trouble. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have met and now consider our friends a number single male who are respectful genuine swingers and a credit to the community.
Funny thing is none of them take the problems caused by a significant portion of single guys on this website personally in any way shape or form because it has zero reflection on them.In fact they agree the behaviour by those types of guys is wrong and rightfully called out.
KJ |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I've Met some fantastic men here, including my partner.
However some do behave badly, as do some couples, I don't meet women but I'm sure some of them do too.
Just be you and let the others do what they do.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We have met and now consider our friends a number single male who are respectful genuine swingers and a credit to the community.
Funny thing is none of them take the problems caused by a significant portion of single guys on this website personally in any way shape or form because it has zero reflection on them.In fact they agree the behaviour by those types of guys is wrong and rightfully called out.
KJ"
This.
If it isn’t you, you know it isn’t you, and you act like it isn’t you, others will notice it isn’t you.
If anyone is unwilling to give you the benefit of the doubt or take the time to see who you genuinely are, are you really missing much from not connecting with them….? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've met plenty of fabulous single guys and we're talking to more. It's very easy to le out the not so fabulous ones
In all honesty, it's couples we have more of an issue with right now. Just this morning another new couple appear locally, good (normal) pics and sensible profile. Wink, first message "I'm looking for a female while my partner is away at work"."
She probably doesn't exist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We have met and now consider our friends a number single male who are respectful genuine swingers and a credit to the community.
Funny thing is none of them take the problems caused by a significant portion of single guys on this website personally in any way shape or form because it has zero reflection on them.In fact they agree the behaviour by those types of guys is wrong and rightfully called out.
KJ
This.
If it isn’t you, you know it isn’t you, and you act like it isn’t you, others will notice it isn’t you.
If anyone is unwilling to give you the benefit of the doubt or take the time to see who you genuinely are, are you really missing much from not connecting with them….?"
 |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I for one am happy that single men are on here and I've been lucky enough to meet some amazing ones and have made very close friends as well.
I think they get a lot of slating on here by everyone including other men.
But the decent ones will shine through not everyone judges all men by the actions of a few cockwombles and abuse is not just limited to coming just from men either on here.
People can easily help control the amount of messages they get if they want,yes it won't stop all crap messages but it can help a hell of a lot .They can even stop them and look for profiles they like but it seems more prefer to moan about the messages they get rather than actually go look and make a first move.
Just enjoy your own journey OP and don't let others ruin it for you.
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"Fed up of being pillaried as a single guy as if we are all arseholes and shouldn't be here. Honestly the way folk go on these days about men and single men and the toxic masculinity thing, it's incredibly demoralising trying to cut a line through all of it to behave in such a way as to not offend or upset and yet still be man enough and attract women and still be true to yourself.. it's ridiculous. Guys are getting tired of it. If you don't like a single guys profile then you don't have to look at it, use the block button. Most of us guys with half a brain know the use of it isn't personal just a way of altering your fab experience along the lines you seek, as I do with the block button too. Give us a break. "
Why is it that you consider "behav[ing] in such a way as to not offend or upset" to be at odds with "still being man enough" and "still being true to yourself"?
Do you see some correlation between masculinity and being offensive and upsetting?
What is it about yourself that you feel you must be true to that you believe is offensive and upsetting? |
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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
There are some fabulous single guys on fab. Respectful, Curtious and fully understand the swinging lifestyle. Sadly the reputation of single guys on fab are tarnished by a minority who are pushy and don't understand what swinging is about. They expect a meet and if they can't handle rejection. |
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Have to say I attend Libs more than any other club, particularly their Dangerous Curves and (previously) Mature Mischief nights. Not going to big myself up, but I can absolutely say there are several guys there I'd be very happy to recommend to any woman. I know there really are those who don't go about things the right way and plenty has been said on many, many threads, so it's refreshing to have single men spoken of in a positive way. A good reputation isn't quite as easy to come by as a bad one, but it's not rocket science at the same time. I've particularly seen cliquey couples badmouth guys they don't know in clubs like they're something they've stepped in on occasion, but let's not forget it's those guys who often pay through the nose to be there,keeping the clubs viable - not that it entitles them to anything. I'm delighted to say I've been well received by couples at times and I'm nothing special. All you have to do is behave with respect and decency and things slowly happen. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"Just this morning another new couple appear locally, good (normal) pics and sensible profile. Wink, first message "I'm looking for a female while my partner is away at work".
She probably doesn't exist. "
Like SO many "couples". Fab turns you into more of a pessimist with every inbox notification |
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"Just this morning another new couple appear locally, good (normal) pics and sensible profile. Wink, first message "I'm looking for a female while my partner is away at work".
She probably doesn't exist.
Like SO many "couples". Fab turns you into more of a pessimist with every inbox notification "
Very true in some cases! For 'single female' read 'single male weirdo' on occasion.  |
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"You just be you and carry on. Good guys do get noticed although the percentage of those giving bad name to other's is high.
I don't get hundreds of messages a day, but if you'd see my inbox - you'd understand why single guys get tared with the same brush.
Whatever you see don't take it personally. Just think it doesn't apply to you as you're better than that. Good luck "
Exactly this. Single guys don't do themselves any favours.
They ignore preferences and boundaries, they send crude messages and then become abusive when you try to say no thanks politely.
Having said that, I've met a handful of of lovely men on the same wavelength, makes it all worthwhile. |
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"You just be you and carry on. Good guys do get noticed although the percentage of those giving bad name to other's is high.
I don't get hundreds of messages a day, but if you'd see my inbox - you'd understand why single guys get tared with the same brush.
Whatever you see don't take it personally. Just think it doesn't apply to you as you're better than that. Good luck
Exactly this. Single guys don't do themselves any favours.
They ignore preferences and boundaries, they send crude messages and then become abusive when you try to say no thanks politely.
Having said that, I've met a handful of of lovely men on the same wavelength, makes it all worthwhile."
Neither do some single women and couples. Stop labelling this as solely a male gender issue |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ooft what a response.. apologies if it sounded like a rant.. I almost didn't post it but was actually a reply to another thread that suddenly got closed by the moderators .. and I thought what the hell 
Thanks for your replies.
Yes it's tough being a single lad on here but I've designed myself to just not expecting anything at all tbh .. even chat is like hens teeth never mind an actual social meet. Like everybody else Im pretty busy with other life experiences to hang on it.
Happy days |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
We have met and now consider our friends a number single male who are respectful genuine swingers and a credit to the community.
Funny thing is none of them take the problems caused by a significant portion of single guys on this website personally in any way shape or form because it has zero reflection on them.In fact they agree the behaviour by those types of guys is wrong and rightfully called out.
KJ
This.
If it isn’t you, you know it isn’t you, and you act like it isn’t you, others will notice it isn’t you.
If anyone is unwilling to give you the benefit of the doubt or take the time to see who you genuinely are, are you really missing much from not connecting with them….?"
Yep agree with this tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fed up of being pillaried as a single guy as if we are all arseholes and shouldn't be here. Honestly the way folk go on these days about men and single men and the toxic masculinity thing, it's incredibly demoralising trying to cut a line through all of it to behave in such a way as to not offend or upset and yet still be man enough and attract women and still be true to yourself.. it's ridiculous. Guys are getting tired of it. If you don't like a single guys profile then you don't have to look at it, use the block button. Most of us guys with half a brain know the use of it isn't personal just a way of altering your fab experience along the lines you seek, as I do with the block button too. Give us a break. "
Just be yourself and ignore the rest. Lots of guys can make me cringe just because they are so direct about 'what they would do to you!' I mean, at least say "hello, you are gorgeous" or something before the tirade of filth   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fed up of being pillaried as a single guy as if we are all arseholes and shouldn't be here. Honestly the way folk go on these days about men and single men and the toxic masculinity thing, it's incredibly demoralising trying to cut a line through all of it to behave in such a way as to not offend or upset and yet still be man enough and attract women and still be true to yourself.. it's ridiculous. Guys are getting tired of it. If you don't like a single guys profile then you don't have to look at it, use the block button. Most of us guys with half a brain know the use of it isn't personal just a way of altering your fab experience along the lines you seek, as I do with the block button too. Give us a break.
Just be yourself and ignore the rest. Lots of guys can make me cringe just because they are so direct about 'what they would do to you!' I mean, at least say "hello, you are gorgeous" or something before the tirade of filth "
Wouldn't dream of coming out with anything so direct and filthy from the get go..
I also think a period of hiding the profile and not being on here for a while is good too. |
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There's a lot to unpack here.
Toxic masculinity gets a bit misconstrued as to what it actually is. The notion men should never cry or talk about their feelings is an example of toxic masculinity. The notion that men should be the sole bearer of the financial struggles and burden of a family is toxic masculinity. The notion that men are only real men if they are straight, burly, bearded, muscley, etc that's toxic masculinity. Men, women and NB fold alike can have perpetuate these harmful ideals. Chatting up a woman isn't toxic masculinity by default, so you shouldn't feel scared to talk to women.
If you could were in the position to peruse a few women's inboxes, you'd possibly start to see why it's difficult for the good men to shine through the arrogant expectant guys who assume that because they have sent an unsolicited appendage pic we now owe them a moment of our time to help them climax.
But I totally understand your frustration. I tend to out who I will and won't talk to _ased on if they've bothered to read my profile. Most don't. That's probably the best place to start tho, read the profile, be respectful, and avoid the 3 p's... Pushy, pestering, and presumptuous. |
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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago
West Mids |
"Fed up of being pillaried as a single guy as if we are all arseholes and shouldn't be here. Honestly the way folk go on these days about men and single men and the toxic masculinity thing, it's incredibly demoralising trying to cut a line through all of it to behave in such a way as to not offend or upset and yet still be man enough and attract women and still be true to yourself.. it's ridiculous. Guys are getting tired of it. If you don't like a single guys profile then you don't have to look at it, use the block button. Most of us guys with half a brain know the use of it isn't personal just a way of altering your fab experience along the lines you seek, as I do with the block button too. Give us a break. "
They are fine as long as they read and respect profiles. |
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"Fed up of being pillaried as a single guy as if we are all arseholes and shouldn't be here. Honestly the way folk go on these days about men and single men and the toxic masculinity thing, it's incredibly demoralising trying to cut a line through all of it to behave in such a way as to not offend or upset and yet still be man enough and attract women and still be true to yourself.. it's ridiculous. Guys are getting tired of it. If you don't like a single guys profile then you don't have to look at it, use the block button. Most of us guys with half a brain know the use of it isn't personal just a way of altering your fab experience along the lines you seek, as I do with the block button too. Give us a break.
They are fine as long as they read and respect profiles."
That goes for everyone, but yes, totally correct. |
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"There's a lot to unpack here.
Toxic masculinity gets a bit misconstrued as to what it actually is. The notion men should never cry or talk about their feelings is an example of toxic masculinity. The notion that men should be the sole bearer of the financial struggles and burden of a family is toxic masculinity. The notion that men are only real men if they are straight, burly, bearded, muscley, etc that's toxic masculinity. Men, women and NB fold alike can have perpetuate these harmful ideals. Chatting up a woman isn't toxic masculinity by default, so you shouldn't feel scared to talk to women.
If you could were in the position to peruse a few women's inboxes, you'd possibly start to see why it's difficult for the good men to shine through the arrogant expectant guys who assume that because they have sent an unsolicited appendage pic we now owe them a moment of our time to help them climax.
But I totally understand your frustration. I tend to out who I will and won't talk to _ased on if they've bothered to read my profile. Most don't. That's probably the best place to start tho, read the profile, be respectful, and avoid the 3 p's... Pushy, pestering, and presumptuous. "
Very well put! |
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