FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do you message, and risk a block? (long read)
Do you message, and risk a block? (long read)
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Genuine question, and not an exceptionalist rant (which I find annoying).
So, just for context:
I messaged a couple - just to compliment them on their pictures. There was nothing to say, 'no messages from single guys' etc... on the profile. We did have overlapping interests, but I didn't ask them a question, or expect a reply - just a simply a tasteful polite compliment on the pictures, of both, nothing more.
The message was immediately deleted and my profile blocked.
Now, before anyone gets hysterical, I don't have any problem with this whatsoever. If anything it makes things more straightforward for me as the pool of available people is now one couple smaller.
However, it did get me to thinking (dangerous I know): what if you're really enjoying perving someone's profile pictures and/or the words of their profile or indeed the dynamic that is displayed therein - do you then message them and risk being blocked and no-longer able to perv the pictures, or do you simply turn off the 'who has looked at me function' and continue to enjoy?
Perhaps a new eternal dilemma...
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"
Personally I wouldn't want to perv on a profile that has zero interest in us i.e to the point of blocking us after a message.
KJ"
It's a fair point.
But then some watch porn, even amateur porn, perhaps even enjoy pictures of the same, and there's no reciprocal interest there.
Is this different do you think? |
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So we have a specific idea on the people who we would like chat with and perhaps meet, but fabs is swinging site so we expect all sorts of people to message us and we have the privacy options too. If we get a nice message with a compliment we definitely will not ignore even if we don't want to connect with the people / person. We only block abusive people or people who can't take a "no thank you"  |
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As an incurable voyeur and obsessive/stalkery profile visitor I definitely browse incognito! A few years back on a single fem profile where I stated I was mostly chatting/browsing, I had a local couple block me but not before they wrote in to tell me to go back on Facebook 
We've blocked people from browsing ours though if they had something offensive (to us) on their profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (Mrs) have messaged a couple before to compliment them on their photos. They ranted that I was fake and blocked me. So now I don't bother messaging people first.
If I want to perve I'll just do so without turning the who looked at me function off. Maybe they'll get the hint and message me first  |
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"
Personally I wouldn't want to perv on a profile that has zero interest in us i.e to the point of blocking us after a message.
KJ
It's a fair point.
But then some watch porn, even amateur porn, perhaps even enjoy pictures of the same, and there's no reciprocal interest there.
Is this different do you think? "
A further point to make, I guess, is that you would only know this after the fact (unless of course there was a direct indicator on the profile, in which one shouldn't message in the first place). |
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I wouldn't have sent a message that you weren't expecting an answer to. Seems pointless to me.
The only thing that gets an automatic block from me is a friend request with no messages Bach and forth. But then as I say that clearly in my profile the Herbert didn't bother to read. |
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"I wouldn't have sent a message that you weren't expecting an answer to. Seems pointless to me.
"
Indeed.
Just felt like complimenting the pictures - they were pretty spectacular.
I certainly wouldn't again.
I don't feel scarred by the process or response, but I did think it raised an interesting question. |
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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
I guess it depends on how much you value looking at a particular profile. If you really like being able to browse it and feel you're never in a million years going to get a response there's little to be gained by sending the message in the first place but I think their reaction is quite a rare one, if it's something you like to do it isn't likely to get you blocked regularly if ever again I wouldn't have thought.
We have a few regular viewers of our profile who occasionally message their compliments we'd never block them for it. |
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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
Seems a bit strange as it's just a compliment but I suppose we will never know the circumstance.. could be they are overwhelmed with compliments perhaps. I don't mind compliments and I give compliments if a profile catches my eye. Individual choices I guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd turn on the privacy mode so they don't know you've looked and definitely don't message them.
People can be really weird. They have public pics then cry when people look at them.......  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on what you define as a compliment, someone sending a message saying my wife is beautiful is one thing but the majority seem to think explaining in detail how they'd objectify her is what we want to read.
It's rare we'll block, if we do it's because they won't take no for an answer or their message is obvious cut and paste job they've sent more than once. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
I actually wish there was an option to block people from messaging/winking but to still allow them to view our photos of they want to. We have no problem with people we don't want to meet looking at our photos, but get a bit fed up of guys sending the same copy and paste message every three weeks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I message if I like what I see on women's or m/f couples profiles.
9 times out of 10 I get ignored and the messages deleted, but I'd rather have that than not message and potentially miss out on some good chats etc |
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I have messaged to tell profile holders they have lovely pictures and generally had a positive response. Sometimes however people are having a bad day and want to "kick the dog" and what better dog than a "single Fab male"? |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
We would only message a couple we are interested in actually meeting so if the message was deleted and they blocked us then we have got our answer and we move on.
We regularly get compliments on our photos and will reply to all polite messages. Invariably they are followed up with the want to meet message which we then decline. Those that persist in asking can end up blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get where you’re coming from op.
This is why I’m reluctant to block guys just because I don’t fancy them.
When they send me a cock pic and tell me how much they enjoy my pics I despair: you’ve just taken away your chance to look and won’t see when I post new ones. |
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"Hide yourself if you can't stop looking - or else you might end up being blocked for that too. "
To be honest, I don’t tend to regularly visit a profile. I might look and then look again if I see the person on the forum for example and they have a new profile picture, but I don’t go back to profile for endless looks at pictures that are of a type that are generally freely available via Google.
Just thought the situation raised an interesting question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hide yourself if you can't stop looking - or else you might end up being blocked for that too.
To be honest, I don’t tend to regularly visit a profile. I might look and then look again if I see the person on the forum for example and they have a new profile picture, but I don’t go back to profile for endless looks at pictures that are of a type that are generally freely available via Google.
Just thought the situation raised an interesting question. "
I think it's a great topic  |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I'd turn on the privacy mode so they don't know you've looked and definitely don't message them.
People can be really weird. They have public pics then cry when people look at them....... "
It's like "Look at me!!...except you...and you...oh, and definitely not you". |
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Firstly I'd like to say I've been there plenty of times, where you message someone to compliment them not expecting a reply. I dont think there's anything wrong with that at all. If they then block you it's a little arrogant on their part really.
Secondly I like the way you write, you clearly take the time to think about what your writing and that goes a long way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd turn on the privacy mode so they don't know you've looked and definitely don't message them.
People can be really weird. They have public pics then cry when people look at them.......
It's like "Look at me!!...except you...and you...oh, and definitely not you"."
Lol. The guys who post a thread asking how to stop men looking at them  |
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"Firstly I'd like to say I've been there plenty of times, where you message someone to compliment them not expecting a reply. I dont think there's anything wrong with that at all. If they then block you it's a little arrogant on their part really.
Secondly I like the way you write, you clearly take the time to think about what your writing and that goes a long way. "
I write/argue for a living so hopefully (even via mobile) I should be able to produce a coherent position.
Thanks for the compliment.
Right, now you’re blocked! (Joking!)
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"Genuine question, and not an exceptionalist rant (which I find annoying).
So, just for context:
I messaged a couple - just to compliment them on their pictures. There was nothing to say, 'no messages from single guys' etc... on the profile. We did have overlapping interests, but I didn't ask them a question, or expect a reply - just a simply a tasteful polite compliment on the pictures, of both, nothing more.
The message was immediately deleted and my profile blocked.
Now, before anyone gets hysterical, I don't have any problem with this whatsoever. If anything it makes things more straightforward for me as the pool of available people is now one couple smaller.
However, it did get me to thinking (dangerous I know): what if you're really enjoying perving someone's profile pictures and/or the words of their profile or indeed the dynamic that is displayed therein - do you then message them and risk being blocked and no-longer able to perv the pictures, or do you simply turn off the 'who has looked at me function' and continue to enjoy?
Perhaps a new eternal dilemma...
"
If people say they don't want winks, messages etc. then that should be expected. If there's no such stipulation then blocking might be a bit harsh if it's just a compliment. Bear in mind though that many a guy tries to start a conversation with a normal compliment or two only to start talking dirty as soon as they get a response. This happens frequently in chat and by PM.
The recipient in question cannot have known your motives and probably just didn't want to take the chance that you'd fall into that category if they replied. They may even have checked out your profile, felt it didn't fit their needs and blocked you to avoid wating any further time or having any further messages from you. It may seem harsh and it's certainly not fair but realistically, it's largely the fault of all those guys here who don't read and respect profiles.
This weekend I'd guess we've had 8-10 one line messages from guys despite our profile and status clearly asking people not to send them. Even though none of the messages were offensive, we don't feel bad about blocking these people.
We have no issue with people perving or liking our images (we've hidden most of them) but if they want to contact us they should at least bother to read our profile/status first and respond accordingly.
Our advice to you is keep quiet and enjoy perving.
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
If you feel motivated to compliment someone just do so, you've found out the worst that can happen, and it at least gives you an insight into their character - beauty isn't really beauty if it's only skin deep.
This site is laden with nakedness so just move your perving to someone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s almost impossible to get blocked by us but 90% of the time we get a compliment and we reply with a polite “Thank you” the response is either a dick pick or dirty talk. |
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