FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Anybody giving up?
Anybody giving up?
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By *iner69er OP Man
over a year ago
inverness |
Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you tried clubs? Seems to be the way to progress on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Feel. Like it sometimes, usually close my profile for a bit rather than hit delete. |
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One here for a year or so...so during a major pandemic and lock downs then? What did you expect? 
Give it time for things to normalise again, let people come out of their shells, maybe go to a social or club night 
LvM |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
Maybe there are reasons you are not getting anywhere? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never seen this question before, very interested.. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"Have you tried clubs? Seems to be the way to progress on here "
Errrm, look at the OP's location - they're in Inverness in Northern Scotland.
I worked near there in 2016, and the nearest clubs then were 4 hours away in Glasgow or Edinburgh. Nowadays, it's only Glasgow, with the nearest South of that being in Newcastle.
Inverness wasn't awash with FAB users either. Nearest meets then in 2016 were in Perth, 2.5 hours away by public transport, with last trains or inter-city coaches north at around 7pm.
Location is everything on the Highlands! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a couple of people on here from your bit m8. Don't give up yet  |
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By *iner69er OP Man
over a year ago
inverness |
There's actually quite a lot up here,just that none of them seem to have any interest. I'm just wondering if guys round the country are considering giving up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you joined in the middle of a pandemic that has inflated the amount of men on the site it was hard for guys before the pandemic and its alot harder now ... men will always have this problem for as long as the out number women by a zillion to one ..
so being a guy on a very overloaded with guys site and thats even before all the real stuff starts like who attracted to you who like your personality wise and on and on it goes ... by far the best way for you to make a mark on fab is to get known at clubs make yourself known and then get some real meets veris and that will start the interest from others. |
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By *iner69er OP Man
over a year ago
inverness |
"you joined in the middle of a pandemic that has inflated the amount of men on the site it was hard for guys before the pandemic and its alot harder now ... men will always have this problem for as long as the out number women by a zillion to one ..
so being a guy on a very overloaded with guys site and thats even before all the real stuff starts like who attracted to you who like your personality wise and on and on it goes ... by far the best way for you to make a mark on fab is to get known at clubs make yourself known and then get some real meets veris and that will start the interest from others."
I didn't join in the middle of a pandemic,I joined near 12 years ago. I'm asking if anybody is giving up.Not complaint about getting nowhere.. |
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By *iner69er OP Man
over a year ago
inverness |
"you joined in the middle of a pandemic that has inflated the amount of men on the site it was hard for guys before the pandemic and its alot harder now ... men will always have this problem for as long as the out number women by a zillion to one ..
so being a guy on a very overloaded with guys site and thats even before all the real stuff starts like who attracted to you who like your personality wise and on and on it goes ... by far the best way for you to make a mark on fab is to get known at clubs make yourself known and then get some real meets veris and that will start the interest from others.I didn't join in the middle of a pandemic,I joined near 12 years ago. I'm asking if anybody is giving up.Not complaint about getting nowhere.."
complaining,not complaint |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would but not for the reasons you would think as i find talking to and seducing women quite easy but im here as iv simply nawt better to do at the minute |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would but not for the reasons you would think as i find talking to and seducing women quite easy but im here as iv simply nawt better to do at the minute"
Hahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you joined in the middle of a pandemic that has inflated the amount of men on the site it was hard for guys before the pandemic and its alot harder now ... men will always have this problem for as long as the out number women by a zillion to one ..
so being a guy on a very overloaded with guys site and thats even before all the real stuff starts like who attracted to you who like your personality wise and on and on it goes ... by far the best way for you to make a mark on fab is to get known at clubs make yourself known and then get some real meets veris and that will start the interest from others.I didn't join in the middle of a pandemic,I joined near 12 years ago. I'm asking if anybody is giving up.Not complaint about getting nowhere.."
ahh sorry mis-read i thought it read you joined a year ago...
so its much worse then as if youve got nowhere in 12 years just shows how hard it is for most men |
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Crazy, all the other guys are rolling in pussy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Crazy, all the other guys are rolling in pussy "
He best give up ASAP then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Crazy, all the other guys are rolling in pussy "
The cats just won’t leave me alone! |
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By *iner69er OP Man
over a year ago
inverness |
"you joined in the middle of a pandemic that has inflated the amount of men on the site it was hard for guys before the pandemic and its alot harder now ... men will always have this problem for as long as the out number women by a zillion to one ..
so being a guy on a very overloaded with guys site and thats even before all the real stuff starts like who attracted to you who like your personality wise and on and on it goes ... by far the best way for you to make a mark on fab is to get known at clubs make yourself known and then get some real meets veris and that will start the interest from others.I didn't join in the middle of a pandemic,I joined near 12 years ago. I'm asking if anybody is giving up.Not complaint about getting nowhere..
ahh sorry mis-read i thought it read you joined a year ago...
so its much worse then as if youve got nowhere in 12 years just shows how hard it is for most men "
I had a meet in 2015. |
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By *leeperMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
It’s hard to meet for me as well but they just more guys than gals tbh they gonna pick safe due to the amount of time wasters and liars here , try not to take it personal and update profile and try to talk more even if it’s not all about sex |
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Never give up. I am currently experiencing a dry spell but I am sure things will pick up once life gets back to some form of post Covid normality. |
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By *iner69er OP Man
over a year ago
inverness |
"Never give up. I am currently experiencing a dry spell but I am sure things will pick up once life gets back to some form of post Covid normality. "
I would say that things are just as bad now as before COVID. I reckon meets are pretty much back to normal and fab is as useless at getting a meet as it's ever been.
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"Never give up. I am currently experiencing a dry spell but I am sure things will pick up once life gets back to some form of post Covid normality. I would say that things are just as bad now as before COVID. I reckon meets are pretty much back to normal and fab is as useless at getting a meet as it's ever been. "
You could always ask for advice on your profile as that's the primary way of selling yourself on here, a bad one generally means you'll get nowhere fast. |
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By *iner69er OP Man
over a year ago
inverness |
"Never give up. I am currently experiencing a dry spell but I am sure things will pick up once life gets back to some form of post Covid normality. I would say that things are just as bad now as before COVID. I reckon meets are pretty much back to normal and fab is as useless at getting a meet as it's ever been.
You could always ask for advice on your profile as that's the primary way of selling yourself on here, a bad one generally means you'll get nowhere fast."
I've tried various versions of the profile. Doesn't matter how you sell yourself,if you don't have whatever it is that the ladies are looking for,you've no chance. |
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"Never give up. I am currently experiencing a dry spell but I am sure things will pick up once life gets back to some form of post Covid normality. I would say that things are just as bad now as before COVID. I reckon meets are pretty much back to normal and fab is as useless at getting a meet as it's ever been.
You could always ask for advice on your profile as that's the primary way of selling yourself on here, a bad one generally means you'll get nowhere fast.I've tried various versions of the profile. Doesn't matter how you sell yourself,if you don't have whatever it is that the ladies are looking for,you've no chance."
But no 2 ladies are looking for the same thing as in the guy, the meet, the scenario. Theres room for everyone. Its unfair to blame "the wanted ones" for how you deal with rejection. Afterall there is no "wanted ones" group of guys here to blame. |
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"Never give up. I am currently experiencing a dry spell but I am sure things will pick up once life gets back to some form of post Covid normality. I would say that things are just as bad now as before COVID. I reckon meets are pretty much back to normal and fab is as useless at getting a meet as it's ever been.
You could always ask for advice on your profile as that's the primary way of selling yourself on here, a bad one generally means you'll get nowhere fast.I've tried various versions of the profile. Doesn't matter how you sell yourself,if you don't have whatever it is that the ladies are looking for,you've no chance."
But you DO need to give yourself the best possible chance.
In my mind, anyone who couldn't be bothered to put any effort into their profile, has a greater chance of being uninspiring in bed. Though I appreciate that's a very sweeping statement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've thought now and then to give the site up due to the sheer amount of effort I have to put in compared to what I get out if it
But every now and then you meet some real sparkly diamonds that make it all worthwhile. |
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"I'm asking if other people are thinking of quitting,that's all. Not complaining about myself."
No definitely not thinking of giving up at all. Having too much fun to contemplate that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Winners never quit
Quitters never win |
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By *ob08Man
over a year ago
Macclesfield |
"Winners never quit
Quitters never win"
Whatever self help book you got that from give a copy to the OP |
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You might aswell stick around, new members join everyday so you never know what could happen  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Remain positive and patient , you’ll cross paths with a person of interest soon. |
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?"
You shouldn't really have to "try" it kinda just happens |
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Am coming close to it. Its tough when you spend time reading a profile and writing out a thought ourt message to get ignored but the competition is immense on here and sometimes feels like a sausage party. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven’t ‘given up’ as such, but I have absolutely no expectations of any meets on her, I just stay to perv the pics and the participate in forums. |
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I've no intention of giving up. It's all about finding a balance.
You have to make an effort in everything you do including pics, bio, messages and forum interaction.
Some people take this to the extreme though and are guilty of trying too hard in all of the above and that often backfires.
For example, being overly complimentary can be as much of a turn off as not complimenting at all.
Find that balance in your expectations as well and throw in a healthy dose of patience and it will happen organically. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is one rule here. Set your expectations very low don't expect any replies otherwise you will be heart broken.
Just have fun when it comes it comes. Don't go chasing let them come looking! |
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"There's actually quite a lot up here,just that none of them seem to have any interest. I'm just wondering if guys round the country are considering giving up. "
Without being rude your not giving enough away to get them interested
I know I'm not alone in that I always read a profile before opening a message & well yours just tells me nothing, I know it says you're trying to be discrete but you've said yourself it's not getting any interest, your profile is your shop window you need to sell yourself, make yourself stand out from others in your area etc |
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[Removed by poster at 17/10/21 08:20:03] |
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I’m not thinking of giving up. I don’t meet through Fab, I’m only really here for the forums and to keep up with friends. I really enjoy the bits I use so no plans to leave.
If you’re not enjoying it anymore, or if it’s making you frustrated then you should take a break or leave. Definitely the right choice. Good luck OP. |
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Yup, getting nowhere fast then this morning get offered a meet just as I'm heading off to work. Couldn't make it up |
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By *_markMan
over a year ago
thame |
I am thinking of giving up . The scene in my opinion can be toxic at times and l find sometimes the balance between the the fun and not so much fun is too far towards no fun for me hence contemplating retirement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup almost there. |
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By *key1980Man
over a year ago
Okehampton |
Yep!!! Don't get a message back these days and I have been here for years |
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By *killsMan
over a year ago
Never Never Land |
Don’t ever give up. You have to keep going. Yes no one likes to send a hundred emails to get only one back but then that one could make all the difference.
You get out what you put in. If people don’t make the effort then you can expect zero return.
Read profiles, construct proper messages. Don’t cut and paste. They stand out a mile away. Most of all don’t just expect. Be relaxed and it will happen. |
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?"
Your last veri is from 4 years ago...so it's a lot longer than a year.
Now we don't meet single guys but I can tell you this much, you get out of the site what you put in. Your profile is non existent, you have no public photos and it all comes across as minimal effort.
Facts are, Fab is over populated with single guys. Something like 75% to 80% of the site seems to be single guys now and we're also still in a pandemic.
Fabs a facilitator for meets, not the only way to meet. You get out of it what you put in.
I'd suggest trying socials or clubs but lets be honest, clubs and socials will limit single guys as well.
If you're not willing to do everything you can to stand out, you wont stand out. For every woman you message there might be 400 other accounts messaging them as well.
There's no quick fix, no easy solution and no guarantee's to get meets. Either put in maximum effort or sit on the side lines forever.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I might give up it's been a week since I last had a meet (obviously said tongue in cheek) |
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
Your last veri is from 4 years ago...so it's a lot longer than a year.
Now we don't meet single guys but I can tell you this much, you get out of the site what you put in. Your profile is non existent, you have no public photos and it all comes across as minimal effort.
Facts are, Fab is over populated with single guys. Something like 75% to 80% of the site seems to be single guys now and we're also still in a pandemic.
Fabs a facilitator for meets, not the only way to meet. You get out of it what you put in.
I'd suggest trying socials or clubs but lets be honest, clubs and socials will limit single guys as well.
If you're not willing to do everything you can to stand out, you wont stand out. For every woman you message there might be 400 other accounts messaging them as well.
There's no quick fix, no easy solution and no guarantee's to get meets. Either put in maximum effort or sit on the side lines forever.
"
If there is one statement on Fab I cannot stand it's the "you get out what you put in". It never seems to be single men who say it. Always seems to be single ladies and couples coming away with it. Trust me, things are not equal here, for most men around here they can put everything in and get absolutely nothing out.
It can be demoralising leaving many questioning themselves and ,I don't mean just questioning whether they should be here it not I mean questioning what's wrong with them that nobody finds them attractive enough to meet. It can be quite a brutal place for many men no matter what they put in. |
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"I'm asking if other people are thinking of quitting,that's all. Not complaining about myself.
No definitely not thinking of giving up at all. Having too much fun to contemplate that. "
Well I’ve been having too much fun so I might as well jump, might as well jump.
And I’ve heard that your a cannon ball well I’m an animal, I’m an animal.
Take off all your clothes, ready set go, ready set go !
Name the song and win a prize |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've given up actively looking. If some hot woman throws herself at me I may struggle to resist. I just stay for the sanity check. fab is my benchmark. |
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I've certainly changed my approach. Unsurprisingly I've realised that married 61 year old men aren't the top of couples lists so I'm now just looking for a bit of horny chat with anyone who is interested. If it leads to a friendship that leads to something else then great, if not then so be it, it's not the end of the world. |
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
Your last veri is from 4 years ago...so it's a lot longer than a year.
Now we don't meet single guys but I can tell you this much, you get out of the site what you put in. Your profile is non existent, you have no public photos and it all comes across as minimal effort.
Facts are, Fab is over populated with single guys. Something like 75% to 80% of the site seems to be single guys now and we're also still in a pandemic.
Fabs a facilitator for meets, not the only way to meet. You get out of it what you put in.
I'd suggest trying socials or clubs but lets be honest, clubs and socials will limit single guys as well.
If you're not willing to do everything you can to stand out, you wont stand out. For every woman you message there might be 400 other accounts messaging them as well.
There's no quick fix, no easy solution and no guarantee's to get meets. Either put in maximum effort or sit on the side lines forever.
If there is one statement on Fab I cannot stand it's the "you get out what you put in". It never seems to be single men who say it. Always seems to be single ladies and couples coming away with it. Trust me, things are not equal here, for most men around here they can put everything in and get absolutely nothing out.
It can be demoralising leaving many questioning themselves and ,I don't mean just questioning whether they should be here it not I mean questioning what's wrong with them that nobody finds them attractive enough to meet. It can be quite a brutal place for many men no matter what they put in."
Society is a lot more narcassistic then it was. Swinging used to be about fun and debauchery and linked more with the fetish crowd. Now it's mainstream and trendy, now you got to be gym fit, it's about quality over quantity. Especially if under 30.
Most people under 30 I find I'd sooner chat to a brick wall. Constantly on phone, lack basic manners and courtesy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 24/10/21 23:40:29] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
Your last veri is from 4 years ago...so it's a lot longer than a year.
Now we don't meet single guys but I can tell you this much, you get out of the site what you put in. Your profile is non existent, you have no public photos and it all comes across as minimal effort.
Facts are, Fab is over populated with single guys. Something like 75% to 80% of the site seems to be single guys now and we're also still in a pandemic.
Fabs a facilitator for meets, not the only way to meet. You get out of it what you put in.
I'd suggest trying socials or clubs but lets be honest, clubs and socials will limit single guys as well.
If you're not willing to do everything you can to stand out, you wont stand out. For every woman you message there might be 400 other accounts messaging them as well.
There's no quick fix, no easy solution and no guarantee's to get meets. Either put in maximum effort or sit on the side lines forever.
If there is one statement on Fab I cannot stand it's the "you get out what you put in". It never seems to be single men who say it. Always seems to be single ladies and couples coming away with it. Trust me, things are not equal here, for most men around here they can put everything in and get absolutely nothing out.
It can be demoralising leaving many questioning themselves and ,I don't mean just questioning whether they should be here it not I mean questioning what's wrong with them that nobody finds them attractive enough to meet. It can be quite a brutal place for many men no matter what they put in.
Society is a lot more narcassistic then it was. Swinging used to be about fun and debauchery and linked more with the fetish crowd. Now it's mainstream and trendy, now you got to be gym fit, it's about quality over quantity. Especially if under 30.
Most people under 30 I find I'd sooner chat to a brick wall. Constantly on phone, lack basic manners and courtesy."
I completely agree I came into this scene as I thought is considered more accepting and inclusive something that society lacks these days due to narcissism, sense of entitlement and basic disassociation from reality but unfortunately I see similar problems here. But I won't give up just alter my strategy accordingly. Each tool is useful and maybe this site is more useful for keeping in touch with people rather than actually meeting and clubs would be a far better option on that front. |
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By *pslad99Man
over a year ago
colchester |
Thinking keep updating profile trying new thing and still no joy.
Might go back to escorts  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try having a profile photo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on and off here more times than a brides nighty lol xxx i keep cumming back. Don't give up yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup me and wife had enuff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I gave up a long time ago. |
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
Your last veri is from 4 years ago...so it's a lot longer than a year.
Now we don't meet single guys but I can tell you this much, you get out of the site what you put in. Your profile is non existent, you have no public photos and it all comes across as minimal effort.
Facts are, Fab is over populated with single guys. Something like 75% to 80% of the site seems to be single guys now and we're also still in a pandemic.
Fabs a facilitator for meets, not the only way to meet. You get out of it what you put in.
I'd suggest trying socials or clubs but lets be honest, clubs and socials will limit single guys as well.
If you're not willing to do everything you can to stand out, you wont stand out. For every woman you message there might be 400 other accounts messaging them as well.
There's no quick fix, no easy solution and no guarantee's to get meets. Either put in maximum effort or sit on the side lines forever.
If there is one statement on Fab I cannot stand it's the "you get out what you put in". It never seems to be single men who say it. Always seems to be single ladies and couples coming away with it. Trust me, things are not equal here, for most men around here they can put everything in and get absolutely nothing out.
It can be demoralising leaving many questioning themselves and ,I don't mean just questioning whether they should be here it not I mean questioning what's wrong with them that nobody finds them attractive enough to meet. It can be quite a brutal place for many men no matter what they put in.
Society is a lot more narcassistic then it was. Swinging used to be about fun and debauchery and linked more with the fetish crowd. Now it's mainstream and trendy, now you got to be gym fit, it's about quality over quantity. Especially if under 30.
Most people under 30 I find I'd sooner chat to a brick wall. Constantly on phone, lack basic manners and courtesy.
I completely agree I came into this scene as I thought is considered more accepting and inclusive something that society lacks these days due to narcissism, sense of entitlement and basic disassociation from reality but unfortunately I see similar problems here. But I won't give up just alter my strategy accordingly. Each tool is useful and maybe this site is more useful for keeping in touch with people rather than actually meeting and clubs would be a far better option on that front. "
It probably was 10 years ago. Then you had all the types who would go on Love Island/X Factor join up and it become superficial and narcissistic like it is. Just glad I am not in my 20's now. Most of these people are shallow and have no personality at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?"
I’d suggest heading to a club, though I know it’s been said before.
There’s a stigma around young black guys I have to overcome and people are usually more welcoming after interacting in person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
Your last veri is from 4 years ago...so it's a lot longer than a year.
Now we don't meet single guys but I can tell you this much, you get out of the site what you put in. Your profile is non existent, you have no public photos and it all comes across as minimal effort.
Facts are, Fab is over populated with single guys. Something like 75% to 80% of the site seems to be single guys now and we're also still in a pandemic.
Fabs a facilitator for meets, not the only way to meet. You get out of it what you put in.
I'd suggest trying socials or clubs but lets be honest, clubs and socials will limit single guys as well.
If you're not willing to do everything you can to stand out, you wont stand out. For every woman you message there might be 400 other accounts messaging them as well.
There's no quick fix, no easy solution and no guarantee's to get meets. Either put in maximum effort or sit on the side lines forever.
If there is one statement on Fab I cannot stand it's the "you get out what you put in". It never seems to be single men who say it. Always seems to be single ladies and couples coming away with it. Trust me, things are not equal here, for most men around here they can put everything in and get absolutely nothing out.
It can be demoralising leaving many questioning themselves and ,I don't mean just questioning whether they should be here it not I mean questioning what's wrong with them that nobody finds them attractive enough to meet. It can be quite a brutal place for many men no matter what they put in.
Society is a lot more narcassistic then it was. Swinging used to be about fun and debauchery and linked more with the fetish crowd. Now it's mainstream and trendy, now you got to be gym fit, it's about quality over quantity. Especially if under 30.
Most people under 30 I find I'd sooner chat to a brick wall. Constantly on phone, lack basic manners and courtesy.
I completely agree I came into this scene as I thought is considered more accepting and inclusive something that society lacks these days due to narcissism, sense of entitlement and basic disassociation from reality but unfortunately I see similar problems here. But I won't give up just alter my strategy accordingly. Each tool is useful and maybe this site is more useful for keeping in touch with people rather than actually meeting and clubs would be a far better option on that front.
It probably was 10 years ago. Then you had all the types who would go on Love Island/X Factor join up and it become superficial and narcissistic like it is. Just glad I am not in my 20's now. Most of these people are shallow and have no personality at all. "
I'll just have to live in hope it can get back to that someday |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I struggle to find people I am attracted to sexually which is a pity as there’s so many people I’ve met that I get on with like a house on fire socially.
Most recently I’ve had a poor experience with a cuck couple (jealous husband) which wasn’t enjoyable and a recent social with a lovely girl who seems more preoccupied with who else is on the site.
Tinder is shite & Iv no interest in dating leaving options limited.
I use fab for the forums mostly now |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though. "
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
Your last veri is from 4 years ago...so it's a lot longer than a year.
Now we don't meet single guys but I can tell you this much, you get out of the site what you put in. Your profile is non existent, you have no public photos and it all comes across as minimal effort.
Facts are, Fab is over populated with single guys. Something like 75% to 80% of the site seems to be single guys now and we're also still in a pandemic.
Fabs a facilitator for meets, not the only way to meet. You get out of it what you put in.
I'd suggest trying socials or clubs but lets be honest, clubs and socials will limit single guys as well.
If you're not willing to do everything you can to stand out, you wont stand out. For every woman you message there might be 400 other accounts messaging them as well.
There's no quick fix, no easy solution and no guarantee's to get meets. Either put in maximum effort or sit on the side lines forever.
If there is one statement on Fab I cannot stand it's the "you get out what you put in". It never seems to be single men who say it. Always seems to be single ladies and couples coming away with it. Trust me, things are not equal here, for most men around here they can put everything in and get absolutely nothing out.
It can be demoralising leaving many questioning themselves and ,I don't mean just questioning whether they should be here it not I mean questioning what's wrong with them that nobody finds them attractive enough to meet. It can be quite a brutal place for many men no matter what they put in.
Society is a lot more narcassistic then it was. Swinging used to be about fun and debauchery and linked more with the fetish crowd. Now it's mainstream and trendy, now you got to be gym fit, it's about quality over quantity. Especially if under 30.
Most people under 30 I find I'd sooner chat to a brick wall. Constantly on phone, lack basic manners and courtesy.
I completely agree I came into this scene as I thought is considered more accepting and inclusive something that society lacks these days due to narcissism, sense of entitlement and basic disassociation from reality but unfortunately I see similar problems here. But I won't give up just alter my strategy accordingly. Each tool is useful and maybe this site is more useful for keeping in touch with people rather than actually meeting and clubs would be a far better option on that front.
It probably was 10 years ago. Then you had all the types who would go on Love Island/X Factor join up and it become superficial and narcissistic like it is. Just glad I am not in my 20's now. Most of these people are shallow and have no personality at all.
I'll just have to live in hope it can get back to that someday"
I don't meet most people locally (Wales) as I find most people here sexually boring or chavy, not all just a lot of them.
I can just see clubs been cliquey and people who run them and their friends a false sense of importance. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though. "
Recently joined a club so hopefully that will bear more connections. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though.
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous. "
I like weird people (I don't mean want to fuck dead bodies weird) but say they looked like Jack Sparrow or Dracula etc. Too many fashion sheep. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though.
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous.
I like weird people (I don't mean want to fuck dead bodies weird) but say they looked like Jack Sparrow or Dracula etc. Too many fashion sheep."
You might appreciate weird people with some social _kills. But even being a single guy in clubs, I notice the dudes who just lurk all night.
Those are the guys who had the courage to show up in person and pay to get in. There’s any more people like it who just casually sit on the internet. A self improvement advice section here would go a long way. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I struggle to find people I am attracted to sexually which is a pity as there’s so many people I’ve met that I get on with like a house on fire socially.
Most recently I’ve had a poor experience with a cuck couple (jealous husband) which wasn’t enjoyable and a recent social with a lovely girl who seems more preoccupied with who else is on the site.
Tinder is shite & Iv no interest in dating leaving options limited.
I use fab for the forums mostly now "
I do try to use the forums but unfortunately I tend to find that it's not very inclusive, cliquey even. But that may change over time who knows. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though.
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous.
I like weird people (I don't mean want to fuck dead bodies weird) but say they looked like Jack Sparrow or Dracula etc. Too many fashion sheep.
You might appreciate weird people with some social _kills. But even being a single guy in clubs, I notice the dudes who just lurk all night.
Those are the guys who had the courage to show up in person and pay to get in. There’s any more people like it who just casually sit on the internet. A self improvement advice section here would go a long way. "
I always imagined walking into a club and it was full on orgy (and probably would be if people were less picky). |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though.
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous.
I like weird people (I don't mean want to fuck dead bodies weird) but say they looked like Jack Sparrow or Dracula etc. Too many fashion sheep.
You might appreciate weird people with some social _kills. But even being a single guy in clubs, I notice the dudes who just lurk all night.
Those are the guys who had the courage to show up in person and pay to get in. There’s any more people like it who just casually sit on the internet. A self improvement advice section here would go a long way.
I always imagined walking into a club and it was full on orgy (and probably would be if people were less picky). "
I thi k most people do to be honest. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though.
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous.
I like weird people (I don't mean want to fuck dead bodies weird) but say they looked like Jack Sparrow or Dracula etc. Too many fashion sheep.
You might appreciate weird people with some social _kills. But even being a single guy in clubs, I notice the dudes who just lurk all night.
Those are the guys who had the courage to show up in person and pay to get in. There’s any more people like it who just casually sit on the internet. A self improvement advice section here would go a long way.
I always imagined walking into a club and it was full on orgy (and probably would be if people were less picky). "
Some of em are. We’ve got clubs back in the states that straight up require single guys and couples to buy room time upon entry. Since it costs a ton for yearly membership, people are usually more invested in the lifestyle and being social.
Still got plenty of creepy dudes and couples who just come to watch, but I think it made things more enjoyable. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I have often wondered if there is also some Geographic's to it as well, people more open minded in certain areas then others perhaps. Very few clubs in Wales. Does that mean people less open to idea of it? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though.
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous.
I like weird people (I don't mean want to fuck dead bodies weird) but say they looked like Jack Sparrow or Dracula etc. Too many fashion sheep.
You might appreciate weird people with some social _kills. But even being a single guy in clubs, I notice the dudes who just lurk all night.
Those are the guys who had the courage to show up in person and pay to get in. There’s any more people like it who just casually sit on the internet. A self improvement advice section here would go a long way.
I always imagined walking into a club and it was full on orgy (and probably would be if people were less picky).
Some of em are. We’ve got clubs back in the states that straight up require single guys and couples to buy room time upon entry. Since it costs a ton for yearly membership, people are usually more invested in the lifestyle and being social.
Still got plenty of creepy dudes and couples who just come to watch, but I think it made things more enjoyable. "
Americans and Europeans seem a lot more open and comfortable. Britain still seems to be half hearted and "we are British we don't do sex" mentality (some of the people here you swear were here not by choice). |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably does have an impact due to populations. Up north clubs are far fewer than down south |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though.
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous.
I like weird people (I don't mean want to fuck dead bodies weird) but say they looked like Jack Sparrow or Dracula etc. Too many fashion sheep.
You might appreciate weird people with some social _kills. But even being a single guy in clubs, I notice the dudes who just lurk all night.
Those are the guys who had the courage to show up in person and pay to get in. There’s any more people like it who just casually sit on the internet. A self improvement advice section here would go a long way.
I always imagined walking into a club and it was full on orgy (and probably would be if people were less picky).
Some of em are. We’ve got clubs back in the states that straight up require single guys and couples to buy room time upon entry. Since it costs a ton for yearly membership, people are usually more invested in the lifestyle and being social.
Still got plenty of creepy dudes and couples who just come to watch, but I think it made things more enjoyable.
Americans and Europeans seem a lot more open and comfortable. Britain still seems to be half hearted and "we are British we don't do sex" mentality (some of the people here you swear were here not by choice)."
There’s some of those people, yeah. But unless you’ve got hundreds of messages, a few seconds long conversation and a few pics back and forth never hurts.
Socially awkward people can be fun, creepers not so much. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Probably does have an impact due to populations. Up north clubs are far fewer than down south"
When you say North, do you mean North North like you, or mid North as in Leeds?
South, London, home counties yes, doubt there is little in somewhere like Rye or in West Devon. Nothing in mid Wales but sheep. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I've certainly changed my approach. Unsurprisingly I've realised that married 61 year old men aren't the top of couples lists so I'm now just looking for a bit of horny chat with anyone who is interested. If it leads to a friendship that leads to something else then great, if not then so be it, it's not the end of the world."
Same here only I'm even older but I have had some lovely chats with people. I did even arrange a meet with a couple but it was just as the pandemic was kicking off so we both decided to cancel to be on the safe side. They have left the site now so can't pick up where we left off regrettably but I'm not giving up... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though.
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous.
I like weird people (I don't mean want to fuck dead bodies weird) but say they looked like Jack Sparrow or Dracula etc. Too many fashion sheep.
You might appreciate weird people with some social _kills. But even being a single guy in clubs, I notice the dudes who just lurk all night.
Those are the guys who had the courage to show up in person and pay to get in. There’s any more people like it who just casually sit on the internet. A self improvement advice section here would go a long way.
I always imagined walking into a club and it was full on orgy (and probably would be if people were less picky).
Some of em are. We’ve got clubs back in the states that straight up require single guys and couples to buy room time upon entry. Since it costs a ton for yearly membership, people are usually more invested in the lifestyle and being social.
Still got plenty of creepy dudes and couples who just come to watch, but I think it made things more enjoyable.
Americans and Europeans seem a lot more open and comfortable. Britain still seems to be half hearted and "we are British we don't do sex" mentality (some of the people here you swear were here not by choice).
There’s some of those people, yeah. But unless you’ve got hundreds of messages, a few seconds long conversation and a few pics back and forth never hurts.
Socially awkward people can be fun, creepers not so much. "
There is a lot of double standards and hypocrisy here. Anyone who puts "open minded" on their profile, isn't ever. S
Some very picky people but then they go off and do something like a glory hole, which is supposedly meant to be anonymous (have my doubts they are). |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have heard that a lot of people who go to clubs avoid this and other sites as its seen as a "meat market".
So there are probably "two scenes", a internet based one and a real physical one mostly club based. Some people probably do both though.
^^^ Good advice
The internet removes the barriers to entry that usually exist with communication. Much weirder people witty talk to ya, when they’re anonymous.
I like weird people (I don't mean want to fuck dead bodies weird) but say they looked like Jack Sparrow or Dracula etc. Too many fashion sheep.
You might appreciate weird people with some social _kills. But even being a single guy in clubs, I notice the dudes who just lurk all night.
Those are the guys who had the courage to show up in person and pay to get in. There’s any more people like it who just casually sit on the internet. A self improvement advice section here would go a long way.
I always imagined walking into a club and it was full on orgy (and probably would be if people were less picky).
Some of em are. We’ve got clubs back in the states that straight up require single guys and couples to buy room time upon entry. Since it costs a ton for yearly membership, people are usually more invested in the lifestyle and being social.
Still got plenty of creepy dudes and couples who just come to watch, but I think it made things more enjoyable.
Americans and Europeans seem a lot more open and comfortable. Britain still seems to be half hearted and "we are British we don't do sex" mentality (some of the people here you swear were here not by choice).
There’s some of those people, yeah. But unless you’ve got hundreds of messages, a few seconds long conversation and a few pics back and forth never hurts.
Socially awkward people can be fun, creepers not so much.
There is a lot of double standards and hypocrisy here. Anyone who puts "open minded" on their profile, isn't ever. S
Some very picky people but then they go off and do something like a glory hole, which is supposedly meant to be anonymous (have my doubts they are)."
Don’t see an issue with that. If I went with one of my regulars to a club, they’d probably just want me to use it. Some people are just there for the fantasy. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately "
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 25/10/21 00:56:11] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle?"
Yeah joined a club there so hoping that will help. Doesn't help much on here though haha |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle?"
While Newcastle has some lovely clubs. If you’re not used to the crowds that frequent em, the local high end clubs can be nice too. Just strike up an innocent conversation with and couples who seem to be looking around. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?"
Nope, great site, few odd negative people doesn’t help. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle?
While Newcastle has some lovely clubs. If you’re not used to the crowds that frequent em, the local high end clubs can be nice too. Just strike up an innocent conversation with and couples who seem to be looking around. "
Apparently people are nicer the more north you go. Only been as far as Whitby but hope to visit more north at some point for holiday. Problem is, rural areas are shit for kink and I guess people will have to travel further for clubs. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
Nope, great site, few odd negative people doesn’t help."
What's wrong with odd? I find normal quite boring myself. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle?
While Newcastle has some lovely clubs. If you’re not used to the crowds that frequent em, the local high end clubs can be nice too. Just strike up an innocent conversation with and couples who seem to be looking around.
Apparently people are nicer the more north you go. Only been as far as Whitby but hope to visit more north at some point for holiday. Problem is, rural areas are shit for kink and I guess people will have to travel further for clubs. "
I’d concede that. Y’all would probably fit in more than I do up here, being a couple and all. If I find success, checking out a few clubs and being social will definitely pay off. I’d suggest sticking to Hull and Leeds for clubs, can’t speak on Manchester. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle?
While Newcastle has some lovely clubs. If you’re not used to the crowds that frequent em, the local high end clubs can be nice too. Just strike up an innocent conversation with and couples who seem to be looking around.
Apparently people are nicer the more north you go. Only been as far as Whitby but hope to visit more north at some point for holiday. Problem is, rural areas are shit for kink and I guess people will have to travel further for clubs.
I’d concede that. Y’all would probably fit in more than I do up here, being a couple and all. If I find success, checking out a few clubs and being social will definitely pay off. I’d suggest sticking to Hull and Leeds for clubs, can’t speak on Manchester. "
Wales has charms but given its the only club, I'd be conscious about running into someone I knew. After that its Bristol, Gloucester or Swindon I think. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
Nope, great site, few odd negative people doesn’t help.
What's wrong with odd? I find normal quite boring myself."
Nothing, it’s the negative that makes me smile. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
Nope, great site, few odd negative people doesn’t help.
What's wrong with odd? I find normal quite boring myself.
Nothing, it’s the negative that makes me smile."
Ah ok, I just don't like the narcissism. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle?
While Newcastle has some lovely clubs. If you’re not used to the crowds that frequent em, the local high end clubs can be nice too. Just strike up an innocent conversation with and couples who seem to be looking around.
Apparently people are nicer the more north you go. Only been as far as Whitby but hope to visit more north at some point for holiday. Problem is, rural areas are shit for kink and I guess people will have to travel further for clubs.
I’d concede that. Y’all would probably fit in more than I do up here, being a couple and all. If I find success, checking out a few clubs and being social will definitely pay off. I’d suggest sticking to Hull and Leeds for clubs, can’t speak on Manchester.
Wales has charms but given its the only club, I'd be conscious about running into someone I knew. After that its Bristol, Gloucester or Swindon I think. "
Used to have that fear and anonymity is a great concern of mine. That being said, people you run int will usually have an equal interest in keeping their lifestyle involvement discrete. We are all adults with a public and private life, after all.
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle?
While Newcastle has some lovely clubs. If you’re not used to the crowds that frequent em, the local high end clubs can be nice too. Just strike up an innocent conversation with and couples who seem to be looking around.
Apparently people are nicer the more north you go. Only been as far as Whitby but hope to visit more north at some point for holiday. Problem is, rural areas are shit for kink and I guess people will have to travel further for clubs.
I’d concede that. Y’all would probably fit in more than I do up here, being a couple and all. If I find success, checking out a few clubs and being social will definitely pay off. I’d suggest sticking to Hull and Leeds for clubs, can’t speak on Manchester.
Wales has charms but given its the only club, I'd be conscious about running into someone I knew. After that its Bristol, Gloucester or Swindon I think.
Used to have that fear and anonymity is a great concern of mine. That being said, people you run int will usually have an equal interest in keeping their lifestyle involvement discrete. We are all adults with a public and private life, after all.
"
True, I just don't want to necessarily see them doing something sexual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle?
While Newcastle has some lovely clubs. If you’re not used to the crowds that frequent em, the local high end clubs can be nice too. Just strike up an innocent conversation with and couples who seem to be looking around.
Apparently people are nicer the more north you go. Only been as far as Whitby but hope to visit more north at some point for holiday. Problem is, rural areas are shit for kink and I guess people will have to travel further for clubs.
I’d concede that. Y’all would probably fit in more than I do up here, being a couple and all. If I find success, checking out a few clubs and being social will definitely pay off. I’d suggest sticking to Hull and Leeds for clubs, can’t speak on Manchester.
Wales has charms but given its the only club, I'd be conscious about running into someone I knew. After that its Bristol, Gloucester or Swindon I think.
Used to have that fear and anonymity is a great concern of mine. That being said, people you run int will usually have an equal interest in keeping their lifestyle involvement discrete. We are all adults with a public and private life, after all.
True, I just don't want to necessarily see them doing something sexual."
Oh that’s no concern, after ya get over the initial shock. If you find people attractive and think both parties can keep a secret, go crazy.
Most clubs have no camera rules. Being recorded, seeing my boss or meeting a member of the media who knew me was what always scared me. Never happened and I’m thankful. |
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"English Scottish Borders north. Location also has an impact on here too as people are just not willing to travel or entertain people who are willi g to do the travel again I think that more a sociatal issue with instant gratification unfortunately
There is very little population between Berwick-upon-T and Edinburgh and some of them may only just be aware of the Internet! Joking.
I would have thought your best bet was Newcastle?
While Newcastle has some lovely clubs. If you’re not used to the crowds that frequent em, the local high end clubs can be nice too. Just strike up an innocent conversation with and couples who seem to be looking around.
Apparently people are nicer the more north you go. Only been as far as Whitby but hope to visit more north at some point for holiday. Problem is, rural areas are shit for kink and I guess people will have to travel further for clubs.
I’d concede that. Y’all would probably fit in more than I do up here, being a couple and all. If I find success, checking out a few clubs and being social will definitely pay off. I’d suggest sticking to Hull and Leeds for clubs, can’t speak on Manchester.
Wales has charms but given its the only club, I'd be conscious about running into someone I knew. After that its Bristol, Gloucester or Swindon I think.
Used to have that fear and anonymity is a great concern of mine. That being said, people you run int will usually have an equal interest in keeping their lifestyle involvement discrete. We are all adults with a public and private life, after all.
True, I just don't want to necessarily see them doing something sexual.
Oh that’s no concern, after ya get over the initial shock. If you find people attractive and think both parties can keep a secret, go crazy.
Most clubs have no camera rules. Being recorded, seeing my boss or meeting a member of the media who knew me was what always scared me. Never happened and I’m thankful. "
Went to a fetish club years ago, they had a dark room and things went on. Seeing someone I knew (and thought odious) getting blown off didn't really appeal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fair enough. I travel a lot for work so it isn’t as big a concern.
I’ve heard y’all live in an area for longer than most Americans do, so having wider social circles makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m y’all are interested in taking further about all this, I’m more than happy to have chats through message. If you’re a guy, just gotta let me know to friend ya.
Good conversation is worth it’s weight in gold |
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By *avierMan
over a year ago
oxford |
I agree, just want some fun
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It’s definitely a tough old place at times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some good advise given by many, maybe something to consider is taking time out as opposed to deleting account!
Also, there are a lot of great clubs where you’ll find plenty cock and pussy on tap.
Give it time, don’t rush and or be put of by quiet spells, knowing we’re still trying to get passed Covid-19 pandemic, etc.
No one day is the same, you may well feel better tomorrow...!
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Even as a couple it is not easy. There is just so much narcissism about these days. |
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"I haven’t ‘given up’ as such, but I have absolutely no expectations of any meets on her, I just stay to perv the pics and the participate in forums. "
Yep, this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even as a couple it is not easy. There is just so much narcissism about these days."
We were also struggling as a couple here. Too many fakes, pics collecter and time waisters. So Most meets are clubs only now. Op try clubs/parties (check club section or organised events in forum) near you and you have more chances of meeting someone and then keeping in touch with them here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It seems that considering we are all naked on here and looking for all sorts or weird and wonderful things. It's full of talkers. We just want someone to watch us and that seems impossible  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" How long will you keep trying?"
Before you give up, OP, rather than thinking of it as 'How long will you keep trying' reframe it as 'How should I change my approach'
You are probably an interesting, fun and gorgeous guy.....you should showcase yourself  |
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Fab can be quiet at times for meeting then other times it can be very busy ,that’s how we find it |
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The old adage of 'get out what you put in' is definitely true on here, I have a terribly boring profile to 99% of the people I am old. . . . no mature I should say and a single male of which there is loads of competition, but every so often there are some real gems.
I have two or three friends courtesy of fab, its not for everybody but thats life look for the 1% that just might be for you.
Just my pennies worth, enjoy the site be well mannered, respectful when rejected and enjoy the forums, its a great place to hang out for some of your time.
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I have certainly thought about quitting Fab, as I very definitely don't get out what I put in.
However, then I'd *definitely* never get anywhere, rather than almost certainly never getting anywhere, so here I am. A 0.0000001% chance is better than a 0.0000000% chance. |
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"you joined in the middle of a pandemic that has inflated the amount of men on the site it was hard for guys before the pandemic and its alot harder now ... men will always have this problem for as long as the out number women by a zillion to one ..
so being a guy on a very overloaded with guys site and thats even before all the real stuff starts like who attracted to you who like your personality wise and on and on it goes ... by far the best way for you to make a mark on fab is to get known at clubs make yourself known and then get some real meets veris and that will start the interest from others."
I have seen multiple comments you’ve made in the forum you’re very sensible and straight to the point that’s a very nice quality I like that about you.
I tried looking at your profile…. I would be interested in seeing your summary and maybe some of your verifications. It hidden at the moment
Feel free to send me a private message or friend invite you seem very cool xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I gave up couple of months ago... noone bother to reply... my account now is just for forum and watching others... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have done before and here back again and still trying lol |
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You didn't ask for profile advice however for us, a profile displaying the fab silhouette is instantly ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven’t given up just yet but I can’t see me renewing my site supporter any time soon.
I use the forums more than anything on here now |
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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
Not giving up . I'm hanging in there waiting for that one person that's looking for the same as I am . |
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By *al kalMan
over a year ago
london |
I'd say try and make it to a Club venue (mentioned on Fabs) and see if you can make a connection there...Sometimes easier to showcase yourself in person.
Even in London it can be v hard for a single guy to get noticed as there is allot of us all messaging the same pool of ladies, couples ect..
Once you have had a really good experience via fabs, the wait will be more than worth it hopefully. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well i've thought about it after 4yrs on and off here only 1 meet directly off here. I'm not athletic, young or hung and i'm married so not alot going for me,,, but will stay just for the forums as bugger all else happening it is what it is. |
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"Feel. Like it sometimes, usually close my profile for a bit rather than hit delete. "
If you came of here this site wound never be the same.  |
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Never give up. I have met many good people on here. Some i like to just talk to. Its not all about the sex. I know other will disagree. |
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I was speaking to a few ladies I know who are not on fab why they left and they said that they got fed up with the constant dick pics with opening messages. So I came to a conclusion but it’s just a theory, if people stopped sending dick pics with opening messages then we would have more women on the site redressing the balance slightly allowing women to be less overwhelmed. But as I can’t prove it it’s only my conjecture |
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Tempting, this place is just full of narcissism. People would be rude just because your not their type. We don't like most people on here, too many "Ken and Barbies" but we would not be rude to them for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't give up yet x there are a lot of idiots on here x but there's a lot of nice people on here too xx  |
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I agree (her) I’ve met brilliant people who I just chat with and had some hot times too. The good people shine through and it’s all about the conversation … that’s what attracts me anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You must be the only one . Everyone else is getting laid .. |
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"You must be the only one . Everyone else is getting laid .. "
Like fuck they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would but not for the reasons you would think as i find talking to and seducing women quite easy but im here as iv simply nawt better to do at the minute"
A fellow dyslexic 
Clubs used to be good for single guys haven't been in years so might of changed, if you live in a rural area, plan weekends away to places like Blackpool or Birmingham. |
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"I agree (her) I’ve met brilliant people who I just chat with and had some hot times too. The good people shine through and it’s all about the conversation … that’s what attracts me anyway"
Depends on your definition of "good". |
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"I would but not for the reasons you would think as i find talking to and seducing women quite easy but im here as iv simply nawt better to do at the minute
A fellow dyslexic
Clubs used to be good for single guys haven't been in years so might of changed, if you live in a rural area, plan weekends away to places like Blackpool or Birmingham."
Thats because swinging is a meat factory now. It's like if Love Island and Tinder had a bastard child. When I first went out, we had a conversation about interesting subjects all night, the last time the people were shallow, pretentious and dull and that's if they could put their phone down. |
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"I agree (her) I’ve met brilliant people who I just chat with and had some hot times too. The good people shine through and it’s all about the conversation … that’s what attracts me anyway
Depends on your definition of "good"."
Indeed … which is why you need a conversation … as everyone’s will be different. |
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By *akie32Man
over a year ago
winchester |
op ive read your profile, well what did you expect, its a swingers site not instashag, and i cant coment on your profile, so i wont, but you get out what you put in, and if you feel like giving up, then fine, it gives the other 500 million othe straight guys looking for 200 women a look in, so sorry no sumpathey here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I might. Gettin tired of being ignored. Message read. No replies |
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Morning all i gave left a few times but keep coming back. I am close to leaving again to many younger fitter men than me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey don't give up.. Maybe take a break.
For men.... I guess its finding the needle in that haystack!
For women.... Bombarded with Cock pics, equally not great.
I've been lucky to strike up great conversations.... But it takes more than.. Hi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been single for 10 years now, last sex 6 year ago, been on here several times with no luck whatever my profile says or how it looks. Yeah I’ve given up. |
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Gave up years ago and only here for the lol's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a lot of time wasters but there are some really naughty genuine ones too. Maybe you need to make more of a effort |
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55 seems to be the cut off point for a lot of couples and single ladies plus you either need a BBC OR BWC 9 10 11 INCHES ONE SINGLE WOMAN WAS LOOKING FOR THE BIGGEST BBC IN LONDON YOU CAN'T WIN IF YOU ARE AVERAGE SIZE |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 30/10/21 06:35:08] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"55 seems to be the cut off point for a lot of couples and single ladies plus you either need a BBC OR BWC 9 10 11 INCHES ONE SINGLE WOMAN WAS LOOKING FOR THE BIGGEST BBC IN LONDON YOU CAN'T WIN IF YOU ARE AVERAGE SIZE "
This |
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Im not giving up but this site is tough...perhaps i am too fusy lol..not looking to shag whole site just looling for a few like minded adults dor fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think im done.went out for a drink with somebody off fab last night.she gave the talk about not jumping into bed straight away and not sleeping through fab only to go out fucking straight after then put a status up about it saying how great it was.thought i had experienced most bad things on fab but thats probably the coldest one |
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At 61 and married (albeit honest) I suspect I'm too old for this game and I don't have the enthusiasm to put a lot of effort it to be regularly rejected. I have chatted with some nice people and would like to make friends with people, even if just for a chat and the occasional tribute. If there are any over 50s who just want a chat, sexual or not, then feel free. Kik is _ickdasterdly51 (but I'm not bi so don't waste you time asking me if I want my cock sucked!). |
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Talk to people make friends. Go on cam hang out in the forms. Lots to do and people to talk to. |
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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago
West Midlands |
"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?"
Single guys are ten a penny around here, so unless you have a 20 inch cock you're just another number lol.
Have you tried clubs?
Go out, meet new people, make new friends.
If you don't put the effort in these ladies and gents on here know |
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?"
Every time I'm about to give up a lady & or couple sex messages me leading to cyber sex & occasionally phone sex
And that's why I can't bring myself to delete & leave the Fab swingers website |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just use this site as a tool to find out what’s going on club wise or social events & keep in touch with friends & there’s always real life you could meet someone |
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?"
This site should carry a health warning as constant rejection seriously affects ones confidence and self esteem. It can be a total headfuck most times  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
This site should carry a health warning as constant rejection seriously affects ones confidence and self esteem. It can be a total headfuck most times "
it could very well be where you live (not many people in your area on here) don’t take it to heart |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?
This site should carry a health warning as constant rejection seriously affects ones confidence and self esteem. It can be a total headfuck most times "
Rejection doesn't bother me. Seem to be a lot of fantasists and timewasters on here. Giving it until the new year until I'll move on to something else |
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Nah, I’m polite, respectful, looking for more than just a quick shag, I’ll hit the jackpot eventually, just need to be patient. |
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Yep, I was just after a hot alternative/weird/geeky type of woman but not any local and the ones who are, either seem to think they are from Essex or are just chavs. Sooner spend my time doing other things. |
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?"
Got more chance of you have a picture on your profile mate, it’s never too late, keep trying, maybe freshen up profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any guys(girls too maybe) on here,on the verge of giving up? Maybe been on the site for a year or so,or years and getting nowhere and come to the conclusion that you just ain't going to get lucky. How long will you keep trying?"
yep sounds about right
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not giving up. Having fun. I’m not wanting to meet. Ben able to tribute some hot women on here. Few chats with guys about wife’s etc. Would like to meet a women into pissing but that’s not a reason to leave. Only thing maybe is that I get too distracted when I should be working  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Given up trying to find a fwb on fab, staying for the forums. |
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What other sites are there? (genuine question) |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Given up trying to find a fwb on fab, staying for the forums."
Me too and clubs |
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I've been on here for years and met some very interesting people (some bat-crazy funny too) and gained some good friends on here aswell.
It ebbs and flows on Fab so I'd say it's best just to stay as its good, clean,adult fun.
And fun is the main influence on here |
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I used to go to clubs, but they were so packed with single males it all seemed pointless. Lurking online is less awful than trying to strike up a conversation and you just get actively ignored.
So you take the hint and sit around looking for someone else to talk to, but they aren't interested.
So you then end up sitting alone. Standard creepy male behaviour. Don't imagine that all men WANT to act like that. Some clubs are so cliquey that going there is almost impossible without being ignored.
"You get out what you put in" is sometimes a stupid and pointless comment. Competition erases that possibility.
I'm sure other people have different experiences. |
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You make your own luck on fab . Plenty of guys do well but put effort in with socials and club events . No good if you just write a profile put a few pics up and send a few messages. |
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Mostly for men on fab you have to expect fuck all! Anything that does happen is a bonus.
Everyday i see several status updates looking for good looking, fit, well hung males. Any man fitting this description must do ok!? Lol. I know that isnt me so think whats the point in trying as always a better offer. Im not bitching about it, just its fact and just stay to be nosey and read the forums and perhaps one day there may be someone you click with.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So true.
And Orkney is even worse.
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Get what you put in
Make your own luck
Make your profile stand out
Have pics
Nope, just be fit as fuck with a big cock.....sorted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You make your own luck on fab . Plenty of guys do well but put effort in with socials and club events . No good if you just write a profile put a few pics up and send a few messages."
Well said x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to go to clubs, but they were so packed with single males it all seemed pointless. Lurking online is less awful than trying to strike up a conversation and you just get actively ignored.
So you take the hint and sit around looking for someone else to talk to, but they aren't interested.
So you then end up sitting alone. Standard creepy male behaviour. Don't imagine that all men WANT to act like that. Some clubs are so cliquey that going there is almost impossible without being ignored.
"You get out what you put in" is sometimes a stupid and pointless comment. Competition erases that possibility.
I'm sure other people have different experiences."
That's really disappointing... |
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Sigh. I have pointed out that I did more than that. I am trying again but I am prepared to accept that there may be too many other men.
Honestly, if a couple say "it's tough and you may never get anywhere" then I can accept that. However, if you only ever say "you get out what you put in" as if life is bizarrely fair, then it comes across as unrealistic. If you want to sound tough, acknowledge there are alot of single men that might dilute people's effort through sheer quantity and stop implying that everyone who is unsuccessful is lazy. It's gasslighting and pointless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been here 2 months now.
Got a few Veris and met quite a few people.
But that's because I got up, went to a Club or 3 and spoke to people.
Yeah, it's difficult if you're reliant on messaging contacts owing to location and clicking that way as the ladies/couples will get lots of messages a day..
Keep at it, be yourself, get yourself to a social (most have plenty of notice so you can organise travel/hotels) or speak to people at a club (you don't have to play) and you'll be fine |
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