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Curvy/BBW women- has swinging helped with confidence?
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Hello all,
This is a question for my fellow curvaceous beauties…
Have you found that your overall body confidence has improved since becoming part of this lifestyle?
I was listening to the bed hoppers pod cast with two BBW women from here talking about their experiences on fab and generally in the lifestyle, and it made me curious as to whether or not it has changed our perceptions of ourselves, either good or bad?…. |
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Im a size 18 and I state it clearly on my profile that I’m not a small girl.
That being said, I suppose my confidence has been boosted ever so slightly. But then you see pictures of complete bombshells and I think well I can’t compete with that.
I do get messages saying they love curvy girls but sometimes wonder are they just saying it to get the ride. |
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Most definitely. Before joining fab I didn’t think anyone other than my husband would be attracted to me because of my size. It took a while for me to even post any pics on here as I couldn’t see anything that people would find attractive about me.
There are still times when my confidence gets a knock for sure and I still don’t feel great about myself but I’m much more confident than I was.
Kx |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Most definitely. Before joining fab I didn’t think anyone other than my husband would be attracted to me because of my size. It took a while for me to even post any pics on here as I couldn’t see anything that people would find attractive about me.
There are still times when my confidence gets a knock for sure and I still don’t feel great about myself but I’m much more confident than I was.
Kx"
You're absolutely smashing.  |
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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago
Cardiff |
Yes, it's been one of the big positives for me.
Offline no one looks at me twice but I've received some really lovely compliments and attention here.
It's not cured my low self esteem entirely and of course there have been some who haven't been genuine but overall it's on the up. |
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"Most definitely. Before joining fab I didn’t think anyone other than my husband would be attracted to me because of my size. It took a while for me to even post any pics on here as I couldn’t see anything that people would find attractive about me.
There are still times when my confidence gets a knock for sure and I still don’t feel great about myself but I’m much more confident than I was.
Kx"
are you serious..omg amazing looking |
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"Yes, it's been one of the big positives for me.
Offline no one looks at me twice but I've received some really lovely compliments and attention here.
It's not cured my low self esteem entirely and of course there have been some who haven't been genuine but overall it's on the up."
Omg you look amazing and I genuinely mean that...so sensual |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I’ve found helped with my confidence wasn’t so much fab, but pole dancing haha. That confidence has allowed me to be a lot more particular in what I want, but much like you say, I might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m definitely someone’s shot of tequila haha. |
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"What I’ve found helped with my confidence wasn’t so much fab, but pole dancing haha. That confidence has allowed me to be a lot more particular in what I want, but much like you say, I might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m definitely someone’s shot of tequila haha. "
I love that last phrase, if you look at my profile you’ll see something very similar!  |
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So for me, I was in a pretty low place with my self esteem before I joined fab, zero body confidence apart from with my amazing partner.
Then we joined this lifestyle and things started to change, touch wood I have never had any horrible comments which I was fully expecting, quite the opposite really, and the more amazing people we met, the better it got.
I recently went to a club night at the VA, and I was secretly concerned people would look at me like I was a leper, but honestly I just felt amazing all night and ended up having some delicious little adventures, I guess one of the biggest things I’ve learnt is that sometimes body size just isn’t even an issue, it’s about connection for me more than anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My confidence has sky rocketed since we joined this site,i've gone from hitting rock bottom last year to feeling like I can take on the world. I've never felt accepted in my life but I think i've found my people. I'm a very big girl and i've always covered everything up with frumpy clothes and cardigans until now, i'm showing my curves off and yesterday I went out for drinks in a corset and stockings with a shirt dress over the top so nobody but my husband knew what was going on underneath and I can honestly say i've never felt more confident and sexy in my life, I could actually look at myself in the mirror without feeling repulsed and shameful. It's had a huge effect on my libido too.
Yup theres some absolute stunners on here but I think theres also something for everyone and apparently i'm a few people cup of tea. |
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Absolutely.
Before joining fab I always hid my body away. My first pics on here were bra covered boobs and with the compliments and encouragement I have got more comfortable with who I am and how I look.
This confidence has spilled over into my everyday life and friends have commented on the positive changes in me.
There is always the odd insult here and there but generally I feel more accepted on here than I ever have been anywhere else.
So thanks to all the guys who have given me that boost. You have helped change my life
 |
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"My confidence has sky rocketed since we joined this site,i've gone from hitting rock bottom last year to feeling like I can take on the world. I've never felt accepted in my life but I think i've found my people. I'm a very big girl and i've always covered everything up with frumpy clothes and cardigans until now, i'm showing my curves off and yesterday I went out for drinks in a corset and stockings with a shirt dress over the top so nobody but my husband knew what was going on underneath and I can honestly say i've never felt more confident and sexy in my life, I could actually look at myself in the mirror without feeling repulsed and shameful. It's had a huge effect on my libido too.
Yup theres some absolute stunners on here but I think theres also something for everyone and apparently i'm a few people cup of tea. "
I always used to cover up as well, hardly ever wore skirts or dresses. I love getting dressed up now and my style has completely changed. |
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Yes, it has helped me being here.
I thought I was too old and too fat to be desirable.
My Husband found me here, and we get lots of requests for meets and nice comments on our photos
all of which tells me I'm actually ok. |
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"My confidence has sky rocketed since we joined this site,i've gone from hitting rock bottom last year to feeling like I can take on the world. I've never felt accepted in my life but I think i've found my people. I'm a very big girl and i've always covered everything up with frumpy clothes and cardigans until now, i'm showing my curves off and yesterday I went out for drinks in a corset and stockings with a shirt dress over the top so nobody but my husband knew what was going on underneath and I can honestly say i've never felt more confident and sexy in my life, I could actually look at myself in the mirror without feeling repulsed and shameful. It's had a huge effect on my libido too.
Yup theres some absolute stunners on here but I think theres also something for everyone and apparently i'm a few people cup of tea.
I always used to cover up as well, hardly ever wore skirts or dresses. I love getting dressed up now and my style has completely changed. "
I’ve found the same thing, my style is completely different now to what it was x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I was very concerned initially that my weight would be an issue and I would struggle to find people who find me attractive. Sleeping around helped my confidence a lot. But recently I've lost it again xx |
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"Im a size 18 and I state it clearly on my profile that I’m not a small girl.
That being said, I suppose my confidence has been boosted ever so slightly. But then you see pictures of complete bombshells and I think well I can’t compete with that.
I do get messages saying they love curvy girls but sometimes wonder are they just saying it to get the ride. "
Dolly bird, please don't feel like that. Some of us genuinely love curvy girls. I've always liked curves and most of my exes have been size 14 to 18. I think you look absolutely amazing so good luck and keep that confidence up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had lack of body confidence due to my wobbly stomach but luckily i've got nice tits which make up for it. Not confident in clubs dont mind showing my bits just not my fat ... i like reading threads about members who like curves cause it makes me feel better x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think lola has definitely gained some confidence from this site. She loves posting sexy pics and seeing how popular they get "
Hi lolarose
Wow!! I’ve got to say Lola looks gorgeous in her pics. Her ass looks amazing |
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"Im a size 18 and I state it clearly on my profile that I’m not a small girl.
That being said, I suppose my confidence has been boosted ever so slightly. But then you see pictures of complete bombshells and I think well I can’t compete with that.
I do get messages saying they love curvy girls but sometimes wonder are they just saying it to get the ride.
Dolly bird, please don't feel like that. Some of us genuinely love curvy girls. I've always liked curves and most of my exes have been size 14 to 18. I think you look absolutely amazing so good luck and keep that confidence up! "
Aww thank you |
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It’s helped me, I thought some of my rejections were because of being fat (they probably weren’t, at least partly).
If you think you’re not attractive enough, having someone want to fuck you when you’re naked in front of them is a good antidote. |
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It's definitely helped me, has helped me feel like I AM attractive to some people when for a long time I felt very self conscious and shy and thought I was yuck, although I think what has helped me get my sexy back the most is that I do some lingerie modelling for a couple of companies, one of which caters more to curvy and bbw.
So I used to be a size 10, ran, danced on stage for a nightclub etc etc, but I was in a really bad car accident as a passenger, a car slammed into the side of us, shattered my hip, broke a couple of vertebrae and I was bed bound for months and then barely mobile for ages afterwards, and being unable to move much the weight went on, and my self esteem plummeted. I went up to a 20/22 and I've worked hard to lose it, now I'm fully mobile again, back at the gym, and I'm a size 16, but I feel much sexier now than I did two years ago! Fab and modelling has really helped me.
Of course I know there are plenty of guys just saying things to try and get laid, but many are genuine and say such lovely things to me! |
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"Im a size 18 and I state it clearly on my profile that I’m not a small girl.
That being said, I suppose my confidence has been boosted ever so slightly. But then you see pictures of complete bombshells and I think well I can’t compete with that.
I do get messages saying they love curvy girls but sometimes wonder are they just saying it to get the ride. "
I agree, slightly more confident but still a struggle it’s genuine sometimes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes I feel confident and others not at all. When couples get chatting to us in a club and the lady is slim I always ask myself what on earth do they want with me...a small overweight old bird..so then feel really awkward.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, it's been one of the big positives for me.
Offline no one looks at me twice but I've received some really lovely compliments and attention here.
It's not cured my low self esteem entirely and of course there have been some who haven't been genuine but overall it's on the up."
Couldn’t have put it better myself. This is my experience too |
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It's a roller coaster to be honest but I would say my confidence and the fact I say now sod it! Folk don't like what they see then it's simple don't look
I'm told I've got an air of confidence now and I'm comfortable in my skin. Plus I 90% of the time see though the bullshit you get on here
We are who we are, so let's embrace our jiggle!!!  |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"It's a roller coaster to be honest but I would say my confidence and the fact I say now sod it! Folk don't like what they see then it's simple don't look
I'm told I've got an air of confidence now and I'm comfortable in my skin. Plus I 90% of the time see though the bullshit you get on here
We are who we are, so let's embrace our jiggle!!! "
Great attitude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a rule, I've always been a fairly confident person,I have no time for people, who are purely going to judge me on my size.
Which can fluctuatate between a 16-20,currently I'm an 18. Happier around a 16 to be honest.
What I have found though, is how attractive some people have found me. This is what surprises me the most, because I don't see what they clearly do?
This isn't meant to come across as if I think "I'm all that".. Its not and I certainly don't or will ever feel like that. But that has been the biggest surprise on here.
They could of course just be saying that to get into my big knickers, or as my hubby says be visually compared... So rude lol
   |
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"It's a roller coaster to be honest but I would say my confidence and the fact I say now sod it! Folk don't like what they see then it's simple don't look
I'm told I've got an air of confidence now and I'm comfortable in my skin. Plus I 90% of the time see though the bullshit you get on here
We are who we are, so let's embrace our jiggle!!! "
Embrace the jiggle! I love that! Lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a rule, I've always been a fairly confident person,I have no time for people, who are purely going to judge me on my size.
Which can fluctuatate between a 16-20,currently I'm an 18. Happier around a 16 to be honest.
What I have found though, is how attractive some people have found me. This is what surprises me the most, because I don't see what they clearly do?
This isn't meant to come across as if I think "I'm all that".. Its not and I certainly don't or will ever feel like that. But that has been the biggest surprise on here.
They could of course just be saying that to get into my big knickers, or as my hubby says be visually compared... So rude lol
"
Visually impaired ffs, not compared... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100% yes! I did a lot of therapy around body image too. Going to my local socials and nudist spa has been life changing for me. Getting spammed with messages telling me how beautiful my body is helps too. I'm a size 18/20. In my experience I've been able to have the pick of men. I feel very fortunate and also have gone from having absolute rock bottom self esteem to feeling good about myself. Total transformation. I have bigger girl friends with similar experiences too. |
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By *elloWoman
over a year ago
alpha centauri |
Several years ago swinging really boosted my confidence, I loved taking clothes off at clubs, unfortunately since having a child and then lockdown eating, my self esteem is at rock bottom,
I really want to arrange meets but I feel that the profiles I am attracted to are completely out of my League.
Catch 22, meets will increase my confidence but can't meet because of my lack of confidence  |
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"Several years ago swinging really boosted my confidence, I loved taking clothes off at clubs, unfortunately since having a child and then lockdown eating, my self esteem is at rock bottom,
I really want to arrange meets but I feel that the profiles I am attracted to are completely out of my League.
Catch 22, meets will increase my confidence but can't meet because of my lack of confidence "
I loved browsing Your profile and I must say that You have extremely pretty feet x |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Like many I didn’t think my age or size would be attractive to anyone. I thought they’d all want the young, slim bombshells. It’s nice to be appreciated and receive compliments.
It would be nice if guys could accept being turned down with good grace rather than send insults. That’s what makes accepting the compliments difficult at times. One minute you’re what they want and the next you’re insulted and body shamed. |
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"Hello all,
This is a question for my fellow curvaceous beauties…
Have you found that your overall body confidence has improved since becoming part of this lifestyle?
I was listening to the bed hoppers pod cast with two BBW women from here talking about their experiences on fab and generally in the lifestyle, and it made me curious as to whether or not it has changed our perceptions of ourselves, either good or bad?…."
Oh that pod episode was very good
Kitty has definitely become more confident, her willingness to dress in more revealing outfits has increased. As has her general belief that she is sexy to more people.
(The Boy) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never loved my body more since I've been introduced to the swinging scene.
I honestly hated myself prior to this. "
That's good to hear that x you have got a lovely body x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it has helped my confidence a lot.
Been with hubby nearly half my life and have never noticed anyone else even glancing in my direction.
Hubby mentioned he wanted to join this site and it started out as a joke really as I was like no one will be interested, no one will come for sexual things with me.
I’m a big girl. I’m size 24 and I don’t think I look nice at all but obviously others are seeing something different than what I do. I even accused hubby of posting pictures that were better angles ones that men would like (pussy pictures mainly) put a full body shot on after the pub one night and still get lots of messages.
I also tend to feel complimented on the guys that have met us before and want to come back. Like they have seen everything and still happy to do this.
Definitely got a lot more confidence now than when we started but I do find every meet difficult as I still worry until I’m in the middle of things. |
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Going to swinging parties has most definitely helped my body confidence.
Before I found clubs, I daren’t even consider the idea of dressing up in lingerie and sexy clothes. 6 years ago, I finally found the confidence to attend a party event aimed at curvy ladies and their admirers. Being amongst all the other beautiful confident ladies in all their glory was one of the most liberating things I’d ever experienced.
Six years down the line now and I’ve never been so confident in my own skin - it’s not just swinging and clubs but it’s certainly has helped me.
We’re hosting a party in Blackpool on Saturday 13th November for curvy ladies and their admirers. If anyone is thinking of dipping their toe in, or enjoys events specifically aimed at curvaceous women then please drop us a message xx |
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