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Meeting alone as a woman
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I saw a status earlier saying a woman was not willing to meet due to recent issues women have had (certain cases in recent news) that have been showed in the media. My thread is purely on how many doubts and fears do woman have before a meet if any, and do you take any precautions? |
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There is risk inherent in meeting a stranger, whether that's someone met via the internet or someone met in a bar.
I have a safety person who can track my phone, but that's really in case the absolute worst happens they'd be able to alert the police - won't be a huge amount of comfort to me. I exchange phone numbers but there's nothing to say it's not a burner.
Otherwise I have a social in a very public place before meeting for anything more, and I'm wary enough to back away if there is even the slightest red flag. I'd rather miss out on 20 fantastic guys than meet up with someone I get a bad feeling about.
It's not much of a safety net in truth. |
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"There is risk inherent in meeting a stranger, whether that's someone met via the internet or someone met in a bar.
I have a safety person who can track my phone, but that's really in case the absolute worst happens they'd be able to alert the police - won't be a huge amount of comfort to me. I exchange phone numbers but there's nothing to say it's not a burner.
Otherwise I have a social in a very public place before meeting for anything more, and I'm wary enough to back away if there is even the slightest red flag. I'd rather miss out on 20 fantastic guys than meet up with someone I get a bad feeling about.
It's not much of a safety net in truth."
this is what I thought when I saw this status...this is not a new venture for women they have been dealing with this issue for all time...and if they haven't surely they haven't been paying attention... paranoia is a good thing makes you remember how vunerable humans are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think womens preference is saftey 1st, fun can wait. With that if there is a person who can be help of you if need arise than it mitigate risk to some extent, as someone already mentioned it is inherent. You can compensate with some other, there cannot be 100% surety. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is risk inherent in meeting a stranger, whether that's someone met via the internet or someone met in a bar.
I have a safety person who can track my phone, but that's really in case the absolute worst happens they'd be able to alert the police - won't be a huge amount of comfort to me. I exchange phone numbers but there's nothing to say it's not a burner.
Otherwise I have a social in a very public place before meeting for anything more, and I'm wary enough to back away if there is even the slightest red flag. I'd rather miss out on 20 fantastic guys than meet up with someone I get a bad feeling about.
It's not much of a safety net in truth."
Best plans |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is always a risk in meeting someone new OP. I have before that if there is any doubt in your mind then don’t meet.
It’s not just woman that are at risk. Men are too. In the past I have women change location at the last minute to places that have been less public and that is a huge red flag for me so I didn’t meet. Yes I got verbals for it but better that than being mugged and beaten up |
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Unfortunately I learnt the hard way, I thought I knew someone I had been chatting too, and I met him worst mistake I ever made. I won’t go into details.
So lady’s alway check who you are talking to, let someone know where you are a do a check in call, meet first in a public place, and keep safe xxx |
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for all people safety first is the number 1 priority,, unless the person you are meeting is well known to you always meet for a social first and maybe have a friend close by to take a random pic or 2 of the person ,, their car reg,, text a friend of the address you are meeting in and maybe a description of the house inside,,, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have concerns about messages from groups of guys who basically want a free prostitute.. they message and offer a room full of random guys for fun... and drinks etc and ive not to be so stuck up and sensitive when raising concerns about being in a room ... or sometimes a van?? of strange guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always meet mine in a public place. Usually town.
I don't go to houses I don't know or invite to my house
I've often had a social and planned for the next meet, only to find we have nothing in common so bowed out.
I meet in clubs occasionally and have agreed to go on a club meet with people after we chatted there.
There's too much risk to change any of this and a gf of mine invited someone to hers and got a bit freaked out when he got a bit heavy with his hands
I've a daughter to return to. |
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"If someone was nervous then I'd be happy if they wanted to turn up with someone who can stay within eyesight for the social side of things.
Them be as relaxed as possible is important to me. "
exactly...surely there would be someone you'd trust enough...I know some people are on their own but I'm sure even a female fabber would gladly give up their evening with no plans to ensure the safety of another |
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I always meet in clubs for this reason or organised social events it's cheaper than a night out membership isn't needed for these nights so any swinger should be happy to do this .. if they are not then I'm not intersted x |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"If someone was nervous then I'd be happy if they wanted to turn up with someone who can stay within eyesight for the social side of things.
Them be as relaxed as possible is important to me. exactly...surely there would be someone you'd trust enough...I know some people are on their own but I'm sure even a female fabber would gladly give up their evening with no plans to ensure the safety of another "
Its just an extra option. A first meet is nerve-racking enough. |
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"If someone was nervous then I'd be happy if they wanted to turn up with someone who can stay within eyesight for the social side of things.
Them be as relaxed as possible is important to me. exactly...surely there would be someone you'd trust enough...I know some people are on their own but I'm sure even a female fabber would gladly give up their evening with no plans to ensure the safety of another
Its just an extra option. A first meet is nerve-racking enough. "
like you say an option...but if you're that worry you'd surely assess the options to make it as safe as possible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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all my meets are from home i will only meet with hubs in the house ... ive had a few near misses in the past lucky with hubs in the car outside the guys house so im extra extra picky now and meet from home with hubs in the house just in case it goes tits up ...
a few years ago had stalker where police had to be involved (they were brill) and because of that the house and gardens front n back are covered by cctv 24/7
i take no chances anymore i make sure im 100% safe and if anything untowards was to happen i would have zero problems with dealing with the police
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I will only meet with people I have chatted to for a good while I made the mistake of meeting fast once and never will again.
Chatting for a while people will usually let any red flags show .I also always meet for a social in a public place first. This approach has worked for me and if someone doesn't want to chat for a while first and is pushy they can move on |
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There's another really good thread about this on a wife meeting men, with lots of great advice.
I'm always very wary, I try to meet as close to home as possible in familiar surroundings. Always send someone the name and photo of the person I'm meeting, where I'm going, how long I should be.
If I have any one to my home, my neighbour has a key and I've told her if she doesn't hear from me to let herself in.
Plus next door has security cameras which is reassuring. |
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After a very bad experience I'm currently very wary of meeting and someone now tracks my phone. I've set up a trusted person who always knows who I'm meeting and where and I'll also get a reg plate of a car and won't meet anywhere but public place first when I do start meeting again. Get lots of abuse when I refuse to meet those who aren't wanting to chat via messages for a while but just ignore them now. Trouble is you never really know who your meeting and things can go bad very quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I saw a status earlier saying a woman was not willing to meet due to recent issues women have had (certain cases in recent news) that have been showed in the media. My thread is purely on how many doubts and fears do woman have before a meet if any, and do you take any precautions?"
Oh sweet a thread I can comment on and give good advice.
1. Meet somewhere public and follow your instincts. We’ve adapted to be able so sense out bad people, occasionally. If you’re in a bar, don’t feel scared to ask for Angelica or whatever their safe word is on posters in the bathroom. I’ve used it before to end a date, they’ll help ya out.
2. Do recon of the areas you’ll be in. It might not seem like a lot but being familiar with nearby high traffic areas could come in handy,
3. If it comes down to it, fight dirty. Most women cannot overpower a man but you might be able to out think them, especially if they’re inebriated. Sim for the groin and eyes then flee as soon as an opportunity makes itself available. Along with advice numbers one and two, keep an escape route in mind.
I’ve done a bit of HVT security training, if you’re interested, I’m down to answer some questions and utilize the knowledge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The first meet with a new person is scary. My husband always knows who I'm meeting, when, where and how long I expect to be. We have a code in case I'm in trouble and would come crashing in with the police.
You can meet people for social, etc but you'll never get to know them enough in that short period of time. The moment I walk into that flat - the mind is racing. Will it be ok, will he respect the boundaries, what if things go wrong, how bad can it get, what is my escape route, how does the door unlock, is it too high to jump out of the window. I feel on guard, closely observing things being said, being done, watching my glass in case anything is added. At the end of the day he's a stranger who I know nothing about as anything he said could be lies and displayed intentions false.
With all this in mind - my worries have faded away every time very quickly as the people I've met have not displayed anything I would be concerned about. |
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The amount of women from tinder that have willing come to mine just from chatting for a day or 2 online always shocks me. Completely alone. No idea who I really am.
I’ve got a lot of respect for women that demand a public setting too and take the right steps to remain safe. I had one girl apologise for having to mention it but she says she had a friend nearby keeping an eye on here. No need to apologise. That’s smart as fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The first meet with a new person is scary. My husband always knows who I'm meeting, when, where and how long I expect to be. We have a code in case I'm in trouble and would come crashing in with the police.
You can meet people for social, etc but you'll never get to know them enough in that short period of time. The moment I walk into that flat - the mind is racing. Will it be ok, will he respect the boundaries, what if things go wrong, how bad can it get, what is my escape route, how does the door unlock, is it too high to jump out of the window. I feel on guard, closely observing things being said, being done, watching my glass in case anything is added. At the end of the day he's a stranger who I know nothing about as anything he said could be lies and displayed intentions false.
With all this in mind - my worries have faded away every time very quickly as the people I've met have not displayed anything I would be concerned about."
Still good to keep on alert, even if not as much. I go out with female acquaintances as their male of the group from time to time. No matter our vigilance, some still occasionally get spiked.
Sidebar, never go to the Backrooms in Leeds. For as much trouble as they give people to get in, there’s always seedy types about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to be extra careful as things in the media do make you think. Thats why I prefer to just meet ladies. Never guaranteed safety but it's a little less intimidating this way. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I like to be extra careful as things in the media do make you think. Thats why I prefer to just meet ladies. Never guaranteed safety but it's a little less intimidating this way. "
Don't forget ya coat.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have always met in a public place 1st and even though this is not fool proof it is a way of judging how you feel about the person and whether you feel they are safe. |
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I’m very careful about where I meet as well as who after a bad experience on here.
I pick the place to meet. Somewhere public, but not overly busy.
Somewhere I know well and know how to get in and out of easily.
Somewhere I can get home from without easily being followed.
Always have someone who knows where I am, with who and who checks in at certain times.
I also don’t meet without chatting a couple of times on the phone - people trip themselves up much more when they don’t have time to re-think instinctive answers.
Somewhat amusingly the last few meets I’ve had alone have been with people I initially said “no thanks” to. Their response lead to chit-chat over time and went from there. You can tell a lot about guys on here from their response to being told no I find. |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"I said this on another thread yesterday. If I were meeting as a single woman I would only ever meet in a club. "
Exactly this. It's a safe environment, you get to choose who you're going to play with before making a commitment and you are amongst guys who are willing to put in some effort rather than those who expect a free fuck in return for a three line Fab message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always used to suggest a social first, in a public place of her choosing. Always worked fine. Then I came to fab and I have spoken to so many women that have had abuse or close shaves, that I don't even bother any more. It's very depressing, and I can't believe that some women still take the chance, having had awful experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's surprising how a lot of men can't understand the safety aspect women have to consider!
Never given it a thought at all.
Not only because of recent highlighted events but all the time I've been on here over the years.
Surely they're not that naive
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's surprising how a lot of men can't understand the safety aspect women have to consider!
Never given it a thought at all.
Not only because of recent highlighted events but all the time I've been on here over the years.
Surely they're not that naive
"
Very few people consider their personal security when they are out and about. A tragic few learn the hard way. It's not right, and it shouldn't have to be that way, but the world can be a shitty place.
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As a single woman I have to have a social meet 1st. It will always be in a public place and always my choosing. I know the place very well and know how I can get away if needed.
I will never play on the 1st meet, if hes interested then he will wait.
I have a friend who knows where I am, and I have a safe word to text her if I feel I am in anyway uncomfortable.She is a black belt in martial arts so would kill any guy! Lol
I know that there are still risks involved. But they are the same risks as being chatted up in a bar. |
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