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By *sBlue OP Woman
over a year ago
Up North |
So we all see the men that say they can’t get a meet etc etc. Do you think times are changing on fab and ladies/couples don’t want a random meet for sex anymore and prefer more social aspect first or clubs or is it just that there are just too many men on here now wanting the same thing. Sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do think its rare that couples or women just want to meet to fuck these days . I get it though because the guy being a random so to speak and theres lots of let downs on here . So socials need to be had for some people . |
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By *sBlue OP Woman
over a year ago
Up North |
"I must admit, I've never been one for a meet off the cuff, I have to know someone first, so socials are essential and then messages to and fro.
Recently after covid and lockdowns I am leaning towards meeting socially then making friends, if they become those with benefits let the fun begin    "
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve always had the same attitude to meets in that it’s essentially a social unless we’re all feeling more but it’s made clear that sex is definitely not guaranteed.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s because many are full of shit 
I read profiles and don’t waste my time messaging anyone their profile seems we wouldn’t suit or they’re not meeting etc but those I do message when they say social meets or fun meets don’t reply so their profile is misleading hence full of shit 
However I do feel also that the amount of dickheads (men) who message crude messages or time waste make it harder to judge if a single bloke, for instance, is genuine real deal
What can be done I guess  |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
We have always preferred swinging in clubs. A good time is pretty much always guaranteed, there are plenty of single guys to choose from and we can see people before we decide to play. There is still the opportunity of anonymous sex with one or more single guys, but without the lottery of an arranged meet being very different to the image presented on Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I don’t think things are changing that much. I think what has happened though is a large influx of people have joined thinking it’s instashag having no idea about swinging and what it is…
I also think throughout the lockdowns people have made more mental connections and friendships with others (speaking from my own experience) and would rather meet those people they have connected with since…
So I assume it would be a little harder for some of the new people that have joined, because people already have and are meeting those they’ve made friends with over the past year.
Socials are brilliant anyway they can definitely lead to better sex, I love having a drink and a laugh before hand getting to know each other |
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"Personally I don’t think things are changing that much. I think what has happened though is a large influx of people have joined thinking it’s instashag having no idea about swinging and what it is…
I also think throughout the lockdowns people have made more mental connections and friendships with others (speaking from my own experience) and would rather meet those people they have connected with since…
So I assume it would be a little harder for some of the new people that have joined, because people already have and are meeting those they’ve made friends with over the past year.
Socials are brilliant anyway they can definitely lead to better sex, I love having a drink and a laugh before hand getting to know each other "
Totally agree  |
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By *ostguy321Man
over a year ago
Princes Risborough |
I am not sure anything has really changed, there are always those who will meet and go straight to sex and those who prefer some sort of social first. I prefer to meet first and be sure I actually like those I am hoping to have sex with, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in our book. Time is too short for socails. We meet to play. "
Totally agree. Who wants to be seen with a bloke that is going to fuck your wife etc, its best to get on with it .
The number of times we get messages EG, we can meet for a drink meal, etc and I think, stuff that you clown as this is not a marriage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d expect to have a social first just because of the safety aspect of it. And to also make sure the woman I’m meeting is the same as in her photos… same as I’d want her to be reassured that I’m genuine. Also, chatting online is different to face to face. Could meet up and the chemistry or attraction isn’t there. Far better to have a drink and say bye rather than turn up for sex and get rejected. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
We'll do a social if we have to, but in general we assume we'll play on a first meet if they look and act the same as they have in messages. Times limited here and opportunities to meet are rare and we already have friends that we do social stuff with.
We've been on here for just over two years and the only real difference we've found is that fewer people bother to read profiles. Used to be half the guys didn't bother. Now it's half the couples and single females and probably almost 90% of the guys don't read anything at all. It just means our block list has got bigger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in our book. Time is too short for socails. We meet to play.
Totally agree. Who wants to be seen with a bloke that is going to fuck your wife etc, its best to get on with it .
The number of times we get messages EG, we can meet for a drink meal, etc and I think, stuff that you clown as this is not a marriage."
Each to their own.
We need to build a connection before going further and are perfectly comfortable with men and women in public.
We want them to be an extension of our relationship for the duration of the meet and treat them that way, as close to an equal third as we can.
Everyone has their own way of doing things and nobody’s is wrong or right but to ‘just get on with it’ is a universe away from the experiences we seek.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I don’t think things are changing that much. I think what has happened though is a large influx of people have joined thinking it’s instashag having no idea about swinging and what it is…
I also think throughout the lockdowns people have made more mental connections and friendships with others (speaking from my own experience) and would rather meet those people they have connected with since…
So I assume it would be a little harder for some of the new people that have joined, because people already have and are meeting those they’ve made friends with over the past year.
Socials are brilliant anyway they can definitely lead to better sex, I love having a drink and a laugh before hand getting to know each other "
Totally agree. Well stated and shared |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in our book. Time is too short for socails. We meet to play.
Totally agree. Who wants to be seen with a bloke that is going to fuck your wife etc, its best to get on with it .
The number of times we get messages EG, we can meet for a drink meal, etc and I think, stuff that you clown as this is not a marriage."
Calling someone a clown for trying to make a social connection first and have a friendly chat to find common interests is quite rude. It's like the guys who want a quick one would call your wife a ''pump and dump''. Everyone has different likes, but shaming those who are different from you is a bit thick. Nothing wrong with what you like, also nothing wrong with I like, but definitely nobody's your clown. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to chat a bit first and have a social to make sure we have a connection. I'm not about having a quick shag. I want regular meets with regular guys who are just as interested in my pleasure as theirs!! Random shags for me usually end up extremely disappointing and unsatisfying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never met for random sex I like to get to know someone first and make sure we get on and have chemistry before I have sex with anyone ."
It’s the same for me if I can’t spend time with someone publicly there’s no chance of me spending intimate alone time with them. I like making friends for long term fun. These things get better and deeper with time, plus I’m kinky and I really need to trust someone to really let go.
Covid has added an extra risk factor on top of the usual health factors that we all consider in this lifestyle. I’m not sure if it has swayed my decision making in this journey but I am aware of it.
My main reason for taking some time out this time, is after the 5th time of trying to make a friend yet another one goes poof.
In no particular order one confessed to being practically married, after saying he was single.
Another wouldn’t even confirm which area he lived in after 2 socials (red flag for a single lady).
I asked another for a social after weeks of daily messages (he stopped talking)
2 just disappeared days before the actual social.
Maybe I ask too much of people on this site but I won’t lower my standards of compromise my safety for an uncomfortable fumble with a stranger.
That’s just me, we all do this in our own way x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never met for random sex I like to get to know someone first and make sure we get on and have chemistry before I have sex with anyone .
It’s the same for me if I can’t spend time with someone publicly there’s no chance of me spending intimate alone time with them. I like making friends for long term fun. These things get better and deeper with time, plus I’m kinky and I really need to trust someone to really let go.
Covid has added an extra risk factor on top of the usual health factors that we all consider in this lifestyle. I’m not sure if it has swayed my decision making in this journey but I am aware of it.
My main reason for taking some time out this time, is after the 5th time of trying to make a friend yet another one goes poof.
In no particular order one confessed to being practically married, after saying he was single.
Another wouldn’t even confirm which area he lived in after 2 socials (red flag for a single lady).
I asked another for a social after weeks of daily messages (he stopped talking)
2 just disappeared days before the actual social.
Maybe I ask too much of people on this site but I won’t lower my standards of compromise my safety for an uncomfortable fumble with a stranger.
That’s just me, we all do this in our own way x "
Yes girl!!!! Agree totally! |
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Swinging first and foremost is the social side for me and alot others its not tinder or shag and go that is the difference..
I would rather have friends within the swinging community with added bonuses. And I know clubs are not everyone's cup of tea I get that ! but for all these aspects they are ideal.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A social first, maybe a couple of them, and communication before meeting is essential for me. I need to have a connection, things in-common, to see how we get on and if there is potential for long term friendship with bebefits.
However, I have found more men saying they're not into message ping-pong, socials, etc. Almost like they're in a rush to get the itch scratched and are not interested in anything more. I guess covid had it's role to play in this. |
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Gotta be a social first for us , and never a social in a club
We like to see if there's a connection before things go any further
Sometimes thats a date put in the diary , or its getting down to it
But we do like social lol |
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"Not in our book. Time is too short for socails. We meet to play.
Totally agree. Who wants to be seen with a bloke that is going to fuck your wife etc, its best to get on with it .
The number of times we get messages EG, we can meet for a drink meal, etc and I think, stuff that you clown as this is not a marriage.
Each to their own.
We need to build a connection before going further and are perfectly comfortable with men and women in public.
We want them to be an extension of our relationship for the duration of the meet and treat them that way, as close to an equal third as we can.
Everyone has their own way of doing things and nobody’s is wrong or right but to ‘just get on with it’ is a universe away from the experiences we seek.
"
This is a great explanation, an extension of your relationship, is exactly what I look for x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its what it is we know loads of couples who dont do socials and only a few who do ... thing is the forums never paint the picture as it really is as 90% of the site dont use the forum ...id guess that there are alot more who dont do socials ... but as said neither is wrong or right its down to what you want ..
very rare we have a social if thats what we want we would have a club night |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
I think sit might be because females and couples might prefer to do the choosing and because according to the forums a lot of men bombard and pester for meets filling peoples inboxes the females and couples just ignore or bulk delete therefore some decent worthwhile opportunities slip through the net. I don't think people are not meeting, they are just being cautious, picky and taking their time, rightly so. Patience is the key as well as manners, politeness and being non presumptions when chatting and meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Btw, i have met a few short listed guys beforehand at their place. This is to check they are clean, have a clean home and look something like their pics and i can usally tell if a guy is phusy, pisstaker etc within a couple of mins.
It works every time. |
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