FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > so your a sub male who wants to be a cuck ....
so your a sub male who wants to be a cuck ....
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
so this to balence up the last question i asked so your a sub male you want to be a cuck but to be so you need to be in a relationship how do you go about finding this ?? same for woman looking for cuck for cuckold relationship how are you looking to find that wannabe cuck.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
i think this is a really hard situation... clearly you need to form a relationship first and that for many sub males will occur in a vanilla setting.
So, generalising a lot here, but i have been in this position more from wanting to discuss non gender norm sterotypes (so i'm covering kinks more than just cuckolding, eg crossdressing) with a partner after you have got that relationship going, because you basically are risking breaking those expected sterotypes and this is really hard for many partners to take on, understandably.
My experience listening to many is it seems to be around 50/50 chance the partner will be interested verses having to potentially sacrifice your kink for the stability of the relationship.
It doesn't mean things can't change over time, but i think it is a really tough one. i think early communication of kinks before the relationship settles might help a lot but i think until gender sterotypes relaxes a bit. As being open about kinks has allowed me to go on and enjoy a lovely femdom relationship with one ex. But there will be many men interested in cuckolding who will not move past fantasy with their partners due to the perceived risks they feel expressing themselves and their interests... which is really sad in many ways. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"that moment you re-check a post and wonder if you missed something. Sorry to hear you are getting bombared in pm by people OP."
kinda knew it would happen these sub guys dont know when to give up lol
totally agree with you post by the way i dont think any relationship should be rushed most cuckold couples have been together for years before trying it ..
also about telling your partner your kinks and stuff such a shame many dont or cant i was so lucky with my hubs as right from the begining everything was talked about no skeletons no secrets just full blow honesty and we are still like that today .... makes me sad when you see guys on here who say they cant talk to wife yet theyve been together for so long.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
thanks and yes, i'm now taking a far more open approach to see if that helps, but it is scary, not going to lie.
i opened up to one of my close female friends to help me have these types of conversations early on and she said i might want to consider poly relationships. i sensed she was ducking the term cuckold and came right out and said it.
She agreed and then admitted the idea of cucking her hubby really turned her on, but would never do it due to his feelings, so wasn't going to bring the subject up. So i'm sure for as many men out there can't talk to their partners about their fetishes, there are also a similar number of ladies as well, who would love to discuss them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thanks for bringing this up. It's one big dilemma.
The choices are obviously - Find someone in vanilla dating and see if I can convince her or keep looking for kinky people.
With the former, it's easy to find a date. But it's a big risk. I went to a couple of speed dating events where I met some lovely women. But I almost feel guilty for trying to date someone without telling them my kinky side and I eventually stopped doing it.
The problem with latter approach is that it's a niche segment and I may end up being alone forever.
I am using the latter approach now, going to events and munches. Maybe after awhile, if it doesn't work, I will give it up and just find someone from vanilla dating. We make compromises all the time in life. This will be just one more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
i think you have to find a relationship were the other half is openminded before you commit or its just not fair on the relationship later on alot more people are more openminded than we think and nothing to lose from the begining if your open and honest put the relationship first with the knowing than your a openminded couple ...
if i could tell you all the chit chat that the women i work with about they wish hubby was kinky or more openminded it really suggext that its not what all think
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i think you have to find a relationship were the other half is openminded before you commit or its just not fair on the relationship later on alot more people are more openminded than we think and nothing to lose from the begining if your open and honest put the relationship first with the knowing than your a openminded couple ...
if i could tell you all the chit chat that the women i work with about they wish hubby was kinky or more openminded it really suggext that its not what all think
"
That's a good point. This is what makes me guilty when I do vanilla dating. I feel it's unfair on the other person. I have to be open with that person. Then there is this question of when to start this topic. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
i think far more will like the honesty from the begining but at the same there has to be some who will not like it no matter what i do thing theres a gap somewhere for a dating site for people with open minds on sex and kink it could even be a section on fab but then i see problems with that too as many will start the relationship based on swinging or kinks rather than falling in love and all the norm ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OkCupid used to be perfect for this. They have general questions like "Are you kinky?" to more specific questions like "Would you enjoy group sex?" Unfortunately they became too money minded recently that it reached a stage where the apo itself became unusable.
Good point about making a choice purely based on kink compatibility. There is a lot to life other than sex and kink. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m confused a little by the post. Are you looking for the sub cuck wannabe perspective? If so that’s me. For a good while now we haven’t had penetrative sex. We use toys and she uses a larger than me dildo for pleasure. I’m pretty much full time in chastity. Normally in the throws of passion she asks me if I’m imagining her with another man and I always say yes. It turns her on immensely. I wrote a fantasy for her a while back where I was basically cuckolded by her. She knows it’s what I want and she knows she wants it to. She’s finding it incredibly hard to take the next step and engage with a man outside of our relationship. A few months ago she said no it’s not for her and let’s move on. Then about a month ago she said to me she had thought about it and decided she wants it. She said there’s no backing out. I agreed but she’s still very slow to engage with someone else. I suggested a fab couples profile and she didn’t want it. I have got her on kik with the hope of encouraging her to speak to other men there. Again it’s slow progress. If she won’t talk to a man on kik how’s she going to get to a sexual interaction with another man. I’m a month in chastity now so both of us are getting hornier. I am hoping that the lack of me having sex with her will help but I’m not sure. For various reasons I struggle to get hard to fuck her although I do get hard. I’ve wanted it so long I do think what I’ll feel like if she does enjoy it. All sorts of things play out in my head like watching her with another man and basically they both decide I never get to cum..do I really want that reality? My little clitty squirming in it’s chastity device betrays my thoughts that I do |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Fell into place for us as wife was a hot wife before we met then since discused different ideas and as I’m a sub cuck who sometimes also dresses ended up with the perfect relationship. We respect each other’s ways and needs and it just works . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Our perfect guy would be a submissive cuck, either attached or single. "
surely thats just looking for a sub guy to join you both ?? a cuck cant be single it takes away the whole point of being cuck surely...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m confused a little by the post. Are you looking for the sub cuck wannabe perspective? If so that’s me. For a good while now we haven’t had penetrative sex. We use toys and she uses a larger than me dildo for pleasure. I’m pretty much full time in chastity. Normally in the throws of passion she asks me if I’m imagining her with another man and I always say yes. It turns her on immensely. I wrote a fantasy for her a while back where I was basically cuckolded by her. She knows it’s what I want and she knows she wants it to. She’s finding it incredibly hard to take the next step and engage with a man outside of our relationship. A few months ago she said no it’s not for her and let’s move on. Then about a month ago she said to me she had thought about it and decided she wants it. She said there’s no backing out. I agreed but she’s still very slow to engage with someone else. I suggested a fab couples profile and she didn’t want it. I have got her on kik with the hope of encouraging her to speak to other men there. Again it’s slow progress. If she won’t talk to a man on kik how’s she going to get to a sexual interaction with another man. I’m a month in chastity now so both of us are getting hornier. I am hoping that the lack of me having sex with her will help but I’m not sure. For various reasons I struggle to get hard to fuck her although I do get hard. I’ve wanted it so long I do think what I’ll feel like if she does enjoy it. All sorts of things play out in my head like watching her with another man and basically they both decide I never get to cum..do I really want that reality? My little clitty squirming in it’s chastity device betrays my thoughts that I do "
nothing to be confused about ?? just asking a gereral question .... and as a cuckold couple no sorry one pathitic cock is quite enought |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *394Man
over a year ago
Eastbourne |
I have always met couples where it has developed, never once have I met a couple where the guy was a sub before hand. In some cases the guy has ended up as a cuck after many months of us meeting and there was no talk of it initially. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rufflesCouple
over a year ago
manchester |
"i think this is a really hard situation... clearly you need to form a relationship first and that for many sub males will occur in a vanilla setting.
So, generalising a lot here, but i have been in this position more from wanting to discuss non gender norm sterotypes (so i'm covering kinks more than just cuckolding, eg crossdressing) with a partner after you have got that relationship going, because you basically are risking breaking those expected sterotypes and this is really hard for many partners to take on, understandably.
My experience listening to many is it seems to be around 50/50 chance the partner will be interested verses having to potentially sacrifice your kink for the stability of the relationship.
It doesn't mean things can't change over time, but i think it is a really tough one. i think early communication of kinks before the relationship settles might help a lot but i think until gender sterotypes relaxes a bit. As being open about kinks has allowed me to go on and enjoy a lovely femdom relationship with one ex. But there will be many men interested in cuckolding who will not move past fantasy with their partners due to the perceived risks they feel expressing themselves and their interests... which is really sad in many ways."
"i think this is a really hard situation" ha ha ha  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My ideal relationship would be where i can be a cuck.I would be happy to be a cuck for a woman or couple "
so thats the idear of the question what are you doing to try and find that relationship that will hopefully blossom into what you both want ? i hear so many guys saying this is what they want then in the next breath are saying things like oh it will never happen ...but why ... i know the ratio % wise is againts men on here but why would you settle for a relationship that would not make you happy ?? and yes i agree that relationships are much more than sex but its oftem the sex side of things that break people up too .... also i see alot of women on here who would love a cuckold relationship ...
im not saying in anyway what i say is mind you its just think out loud i know life is far more complicated for real.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have been proactive and admitted my desires of the more traditional dating sites such as POF & Tinder and didnt get a lot of interest.
Although some women did seem open to the idea they generally wanted a solid relationship base before exploring the possibility (and perhaps rightly so)
So now I am almost convinced that its something that needs to happen organic within a relationship rather than something that can be forced.
After all I guess similar fantasies alone arent something that will keep a relationship going (especially one that requires the level of trust and communication that a cuck one does) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have been proactive and admitted my desires of the more traditional dating sites such as POF & Tinder and didnt get a lot of interest.
Although some women did seem open to the idea they generally wanted a solid relationship base before exploring the possibility (and perhaps rightly so)
So now I am almost convinced that its something that needs to happen organic within a relationship rather than something that can be forced.
After all I guess similar fantasies alone arent something that will keep a relationship going (especially one that requires the level of trust and communication that a cuck one does)"
but at the very least you'd look for a openminded woman for your realationship in the first place some one who you can be open and honest with thats how solid realationships are built in the first place thats how love n trust and all things kinky happen... rather than just take a chance then end up with a wife who dont understand you or want what you want... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes this is an issue I've had for a while. I enjoy being sub and would love to be somebody's cuck. As a single guy it's very difficult to find. I have been looking to be sub to a couple, as it's the closest I can find to what I'm after atm. Although I'm sure there are some single women out there who would enjoy a cuckold relationship. If any women or couples in my area are interested, feel free to inbox me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have been proactive and admitted my desires of the more traditional dating sites such as POF & Tinder and didnt get a lot of interest.
Although some women did seem open to the idea they generally wanted a solid relationship base before exploring the possibility (and perhaps rightly so)
So now I am almost convinced that its something that needs to happen organic within a relationship rather than something that can be forced.
After all I guess similar fantasies alone arent something that will keep a relationship going (especially one that requires the level of trust and communication that a cuck one does)
but at the very least you'd look for a openminded woman for your realationship in the first place some one who you can be open and honest with thats how solid realationships are built in the first place thats how love n trust and all things kinky happen... rather than just take a chance then end up with a wife who dont understand you or want what you want..."
Yes but you dont generally find out exactly how kinky someone is after a few dates. So I think it then becomes a judgement call between staying with someone you like a lot and perhaps sacrificing your ideal dynamic with a like minded person |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have been proactive and admitted my desires of the more traditional dating sites such as POF & Tinder and didnt get a lot of interest.
Although some women did seem open to the idea they generally wanted a solid relationship base before exploring the possibility (and perhaps rightly so)
So now I am almost convinced that its something that needs to happen organic within a relationship rather than something that can be forced.
After all I guess similar fantasies alone arent something that will keep a relationship going (especially one that requires the level of trust and communication that a cuck one does)
but at the very least you'd look for a openminded woman for your realationship in the first place some one who you can be open and honest with thats how solid realationships are built in the first place thats how love n trust and all things kinky happen... rather than just take a chance then end up with a wife who dont understand you or want what you want...
Yes but you dont generally find out exactly how kinky someone is after a few dates. So I think it then becomes a judgement call between staying with someone you like a lot and perhaps sacrificing your ideal dynamic with a like minded person"
no ones talking a few date but after a while you would get some idear |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For myself and current girlfriend we had been friends for a good couple of years. Mostly because we had both been in abusive relationships with previous partners. I am attracted to strong confident woman, which resulted in mistaking domineering traits as dominant. Jojo had always liked the “bad boy” if you like but again this resulted in her being with abusive men who were controlling and narcissistic.
So fast forward and we start dating and sleeping together. She was d*unk one night and confessed that she had discussed us with a friend and said I was too nice and as such she feared she would eventually fuck other “bad boys/Dom men” behind my back! Now I had come to the conclusion I would never find a partner/lover/Domme/cuckoldress so was going to knock fab and another site on the head.
When she said this I told her that her doing that would really turn me on. So she said you honestly don’t mind me having other men? Obviously I am turned on by bad boys/Dom’s but by the same token know they won’t make good significant others. So I said yes absolutely as long as there are no secrets, no sneaking around or deceit.
That’s our story lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
