FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Am I being too fussy ?
Am I being too fussy ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So despite the single man ratio on the site, I just can’t seem to find a single man haha
I get offers daily, but I always seem to find something that puts me off,
Am I being too fussy ? Should I give someone the benefit of the doubt and meet or is it better to just remain over cautious ?
I’m not desperate in anyway, just be nice to have a fwb type thing with somebody I’m comfortable with… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is nothing at all wrong with being fussy, you need to meet people that you are going to enjoy your time with so you can get the experience you really want.
Better not to meet someone than compromise and feel disappointed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not at all op,
I hear ya, I'm similar
I'm half a couple and we have permission to meet alone, he's had a few meets, yet I can't seem to find anyone I even want a social with tbh. "
It seems to be so hard doesn’t it!
I seem to get put off by the slightest thing though and I don’t know why lol
I can be talking with someone and a simple sentence can completely change my view on them and make me not want to speak to them anymore lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It just sounds to me that you know what you want and won’t compromise on that, I say good on you  Miss Pc "
Thankyou! Haha although I think what I want may not exist! Unless Tom hardy has a look a like maybe  lol x |
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"Not at all op,
I hear ya, I'm similar
I'm half a couple and we have permission to meet alone, he's had a few meets, yet I can't seem to find anyone I even want a social with tbh.
It seems to be so hard doesn’t it!
I seem to get put off by the slightest thing though and I don’t know why lol
I can be talking with someone and a simple sentence can completely change my view on them and make me not want to speak to them anymore lol x"
I get this, a little thing said can totally change my mind on someone.
It's no bad thing, but can be frustrating at times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your on here for you, no one else so be as fussy as you like.
Been on here nearly 10 years and the wife knows exactly what and who she wants.
If there's no connection or if she's not taken with one half of a couple then it's always a big no |
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"So despite the single man ratio on the site, I just can’t seem to find a single man haha
I get offers daily, but I always seem to find something that puts me off,
Am I being too fussy ? Should I give someone the benefit of the doubt and meet or is it better to just remain over cautious ?
I’m not desperate in anyway, just be nice to have a fwb type thing with somebody I’m comfortable with… "
In this life you more than not have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. If you hold out for prince charming to appear you may never get there so I would recommend picking the nicest frog and jumping in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So despite the single man ratio on the site, I just can’t seem to find a single man haha
I get offers daily, but I always seem to find something that puts me off,
Am I being too fussy ? Should I give someone the benefit of the doubt and meet or is it better to just remain over cautious ?
I’m not desperate in anyway, just be nice to have a fwb type thing with somebody I’m comfortable with… "
Some Context around what puts you off would help evaluation 
Being “fussy” is subjective really. I judge people based on their humility, intellect, compassion, humour, balance and openness. I think they’re good measures. I’ve had a woman judge me for wearing pink socks.
Is that fussy?
Yeah I think so.
And anyway what does she know ?! it was a lovely funeral  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So despite the single man ratio on the site, I just can’t seem to find a single man haha
I get offers daily, but I always seem to find something that puts me off,
Am I being too fussy ? Should I give someone the benefit of the doubt and meet or is it better to just remain over cautious ?
I’m not desperate in anyway, just be nice to have a fwb type thing with somebody I’m comfortable with…
Some Context around what puts you off would help evaluation
Being “fussy” is subjective really. I judge people based on their humility, intellect, compassion, humour, balance and openness. I think they’re good measures. I’ve had a woman judge me for wearing pink socks.
Is that fussy?
Yeah I think so.
And anyway what does she know ?! it was a lovely funeral "
Can been anything really (not pink socks though! I love pink!)
Clothing wouldn’t put me off,
I remember once I was speaking to someone and we was getting along quite well, none of the talk had been sexual or anything like that just general chat (which is what I prefer) and then out of nowhere he referred to himself as “daddy” and it completely cringed me out and ruined everything, havant spoke to him since lol |
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"Not at all op,
I hear ya, I'm similar
I'm half a couple and we have permission to meet alone, he's had a few meets, yet I can't seem to find anyone I even want a social with tbh.
It seems to be so hard doesn’t it!
I seem to get put off by the slightest thing though and I don’t know why lol
I can be talking with someone and a simple sentence can completely change my view on them and make me not want to speak to them anymore lol x"
Haha
Thought there was only me like this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stick to you standards but don't write people off straight away
My favourite guy on here and now a fwb at first I dismissed him. It was only after a little bit of persistence on his part, a few messages and a cam session that I changed my mind about meeting him, then he blew me away.
Mrs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stick to you standards but don't write people off straight away
My favourite guy on here and now a fwb at first I dismissed him. It was only after a little bit of persistence on his part, a few messages and a cam session that I changed my mind about meeting him, then he blew me away.
Mrs
"
Yeah this is what I mean when I feel I’m
Being too fussy, I feel I may dismiss people far too quickly x |
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Stick to your guns on the having your own standards and what you expect from someone.
However are you possibly finding things wrong with someone as your getting cold feet or just comfortable with yiurself? And therefore you may just need to jump in so to speak to get over those nerves?
I do have times where i kick myself for not taking up an opportunity or things further.
I'm not saying just jump on the next offer so to speak, but if there is a little hesitation on your part to go further try and overlook it and go to the next state. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stick to your guns on the having your own standards and what you expect from someone.
However are you possibly finding things wrong with someone as your getting cold feet or just comfortable with yiurself? And therefore you may just need to jump in so to speak to get over those nerves?
I do have times where i kick myself for not taking up an opportunity or things further.
I'm not saying just jump on the next offer so to speak, but if there is a little hesitation on your part to go further try and overlook it and go to the next state."
I wouldn’t say it’s cold feet or a confidence thing as I’ve meet with single males and couples from this site (it’s just very rare)
I just seem to get put off very easily lol
There’s only one guy I’ve continuously spoken to on here (and still do to this day) he’s lovely, but typically he lives in Scotland which is just my luck!
So I wouldn’t say I look for things to put myself off, people do things to put me off haha x |
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"Never compromise on something that isn't compulsory. "
Exactly this. We meet people because we genuinly want to meet them be it as a couple or individually. We wouldnt want others to meet us just because they where horny and we where there and we certainly wouldnt do that to others either. It's not being fussy, we just all want something spesific from.the lifestyle. |
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Most people just aren't compatible and matched with most other people. It's not fussiness when you're discounting the majority of the people who you have some contact with, in order to discover the minority of them, where mutual compatibility exists.
Lowering one's standards can result in offspring that have inappropriate genetic profiles, if condom and other protections go wrong, which no child should be faced with, as I think was noted in a recent thread.
If a man prefers back bum, to front bum, it's important that a woman who dislikes anal, should uphold her standards, rather than succumb to the slippery slopes of any FAF demand that comes their way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes ... gotta kiss a few frogs before you find your prince... have fun til Mr right turns up  "
I only kiss women… I don’t have a problem meeting women lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hear you OP...
That's why it grinds my gears when people go "there's so many men on here", "women have all the choice" etc etc... Yes, there are lots of men. But once you whittle down all the creeps, perverts, cheaters, blank profiles, fuckboys and so on there is virtually no "choice", believe me!
AND don't forget that out of what's left you need to make sure that person fancies you too... |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I would only meet if you really enjoy socials for their own sake, otherwise no, if there’s not that excitement it’s unlikely there will be chemistry , I've come home before thinking wish I’d stayed in & watched a good movie instead ! |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"So despite the single man ratio on the site, I just can’t seem to find a single man haha
I get offers daily, but I always seem to find something that puts me off,
Am I being too fussy ? Should I give someone the benefit of the doubt and meet or is it better to just remain over cautious ?
I’m not desperate in anyway, just be nice to have a fwb type thing with somebody I’m comfortable with… "
Your comfort should be your priority. It's not selfish or picky, you make your owns rules. |
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"So despite the single man ratio on the site, I just can’t seem to find a single man haha
I get offers daily, but I always seem to find something that puts me off,
Am I being too fussy ? Should I give someone the benefit of the doubt and meet or is it better to just remain over cautious ?
I’m not desperate in anyway, just be nice to have a fwb type thing with somebody I’m comfortable with… "
Keep your heels high and your standard higher x |
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By *issusWoman
over a year ago
Belfast |
"So despite the single man ratio on the site, I just can’t seem to find a single man haha
I get offers daily, but I always seem to find something that puts me off,
Am I being too fussy ? Should I give someone the benefit of the doubt and meet or is it better to just remain over cautious ?
I’m not desperate in anyway, just be nice to have a fwb type thing with somebody I’m comfortable with… "
No, you're not being too fussy in any way.
All women are struggling too to find that elusive single man, who makes this whole fab struggle worth it.
Stick to your principles and never go for lousy options - they'll dissappint you and kill your spirit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stick to your guns OP
You deserve the best, have what you want x
I’m the same, it takes a lot for me to even want to meet for a social then half the time things fall apart before hand or are not right once I get there.
These people are going to be in a very privileged position you need to know you are safe and it’s something you really want. Otherwise what’s the point x |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
Being fussy is someone else's perspective on you having preferences and sticking to them, it might just take a little longer but I do believe there is someone for everyone sometimes more than one that is perfect for you, patience. |
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Not at all! I don't meet many people, and lose out on quite a few potential meets because I'm very fussy! But that's a choice I make, because I absolutely refuse to compromise and accept second best, or will do...
On the plus side I don't regret a single single woman or couple I've ever slept with. Every sexual encounter or relationship I've ever had has been special and memorable for me. I guess it helps, that because of the risks involved for me the reward really has to be there to justify it...
For me it's nothing to do with looks, size or age, its totally about personality, mutual interests and mental connection  |
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btw your pics are fabulous 