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Bringing somebody else in when you are enjoying intimate time with someone
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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago
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I club quite a lot but don't often get intimate, on occasion when I have sometimes there has been other people asking if they can join in.
It's something that I find a little bit awkward, I might be open to someone else to joining in and feel it would be a great experience, but if I've already communicated and connected with the person I'm already enjoying, I find it difficult to bring someone else in in to join us.
I also wonder if the person that I'm already enjoying the intimacy with, would mind, even though they might say they wouldn't. (As of course I would ask them first if if I was comfortable enough to want someone else to join.)
It's kind of like it's something good is going on, mentally and physically, will it spoil the vibe for anybody by introducing an extra person, who isn't sharing that vibe yet?
I hope I've explained what I mean there and maybe someone more experienced has some advice for me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've articulated yourself pretty well I'd say.
What you describe isn't simple dynamics by any means, but it doesn't have to be overly complicated either.
From my experience I'd be talking with the chosen partner before any play begins regarding if someone can join in (anyone specific, male, female, etc etc) so if the third+ does want to join in, you already know roughly where you both stand.
On the same breathe don't feel put out by turning invitations down. You've no obligation there, so be confident in that decision if you don't feel they're a good match with what you've already got going on. |
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We don't club a lot. Never really had the chance but been a few times.
We do know when we do, we would never approach a complete stranger and ask to join in and nor would we allow random people we have never spoken to, to join us. It just isn't us.
Personally speaking, we like to connect with people by chatting a little before hand. As such we favor more of the private party type of situation of smaller more private meets with a social before hand.
I totally get what you're saying. It's not just a physical thing, it's a mental thing as well. You just want a connection that's mental as well as physical. Even if it's just a fleeting "we are on the same wavelength mentally and physically" kind of thing.
If you're really wanting to try a 3sum or moresum where you get that chance to work up that sort of "zone" maybe look to arrange a social outside of a club with the persons you are interested in. We personally dont find those situations take any more work (beyond arranging somewhere private to go when things need to start getting intimate) but we prefer that over random opportunists in a club. Sit, have chat and a flirt over a drink seomwhere then move onto the next step when everyone is on the same page.
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