FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Example of why we single men have bad reputations..
Example of why we single men have bad reputations..
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"[Removed by poster at 04/09/21 13:37:25]" He left but talking to the manager later it appears they have two strikes rule…. | |||
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"Sorry I’m confused. Why did the lady simply not tell him she wasn’t interested? And if he persisted, why did the lady not tell him to fuck off? What’s all this nonsense of circling the wagons around her? Not something we’ve encountered (or stood for) in a club. It’s all about being crystal clear and consistent in your communication." | |||
"Sorry I’m confused. Why did the lady simply not tell him she wasn’t interested? And if he persisted, why did the lady not tell him to fuck off? What’s all this nonsense of circling the wagons around her? Not something we’ve encountered (or stood for) in a club. It’s all about being crystal clear and consistent in your communication." That was all said but he still stayed close to the bed… | |||
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"Sorry I’m confused. Why did the lady simply not tell him she wasn’t interested? And if he persisted, why did the lady not tell him to fuck off? What’s all this nonsense of circling the wagons around her? Not something we’ve encountered (or stood for) in a club. It’s all about being crystal clear and consistent in your communication. That was all said but he still stayed close to the bed…" You said it was an open area - he was entitled to stay close to the bed. | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake!  | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake! "You have a valid point, but he wasn’t shy trying to sexually engage without asking or being invited. | |||
"A 2 strikes rule is too rigid as some behaviour should mean immediate removal and cancellation of membership. In essence his multiple attempts should have counted as multiple incidents of rule breach. Certainly the unagreed physical contact should have meant that he was asked to leave, after being given no invitation. I don't know which club it was but their rules may need revision, if this is truly how they are - but obviously this is hearsay atm. If places allow for uninvited physical intimacy more than once, they are potentially selling confirmed sexual contact of their guests. " I agree if this type of rule is clearly been broken then why aren't they removed banned immediately because no genuine swinger would behave in that way. It's just kicking the can down the road imo those types won't learn and some unsuspecting lady or couple will be on the receiving end of the same behaviour next time. KJ | |||
"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake! "With no disrespect to anyone, the person (true or untrue) wasn’t exactly a winner. If people are unable to follow simple etiquette, for what ever reason, are the more relaxed attitude in clubs around sex a good place for them to be? | |||
"Sorry I’m confused. Why did the lady simply not tell him she wasn’t interested? And if he persisted, why did the lady not tell him to fuck off? What’s all this nonsense of circling the wagons around her? Not something we’ve encountered (or stood for) in a club. It’s all about being crystal clear and consistent in your communication." Gotta agree with this. If we go to a club and if somone one pushed their luck it would be a polite no thank you to start with. If that wasnt listened to it would be followed by a fuck off followed by having the club staff eject their sorry arse. No messing about. Never had an issue personally (not acctually big club goers) but we have heard stories from others. | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake!
With no disrespect to anyone, the person (true or untrue) wasn’t exactly a winner.
If people are unable to follow simple etiquette, for what ever reason, are the more relaxed attitude in clubs around sex a good place for them to be?"Personally, respect aside, I find myself wondering if an online forum is a good place for someone to be if they can't identify the central salient point of a post to which they feel compelled to reply. | |||
"A 2 strikes rule is too rigid as some behaviour should mean immediate removal and cancellation of membership. In essence his multiple attempts should have counted as multiple incidents of rule breach. Certainly the unagreed physical contact should have meant that he was asked to leave, after being given no invitation. I don't know which club it was but their rules may need revision, if this is truly how they are - but obviously this is hearsay atm. If places allow for uninvited physical intimacy more than once, they are potentially selling confirmed sexual contact of their guests. " agree | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake! "I'm in agreement here. Like you, we are a couple version of that. We're both so painfully shy, that we never play unless we're approached. I absolutely hate it. I'm ok when I'm d*unk. But you don't want to be d*unk in a club. Regrets a plenty. | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake! "If you thought the guy was a loser before he approached uninvited just because he was on his own not chatting, that's a bit harsh. I've never been to a club but would probably be one of the guys watching and sitting on my own hoping someone comes and chats to me. If I felt that doing this labelled me a loser then I would never attend one. | |||
" Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake!
I'm in agreement here. Like you, we are a couple version of that. We're both so painfully shy, that we never play unless we're approached. I absolutely hate it. I'm ok when I'm d*unk. But you don't want to be d*unk in a club. Regrets a plenty.
"Nice post. I did not know people drink alcohol at these clubs. I've not been to a club myself but I'm aware of how alcohol makes people (and me) behave. I no longer drink but when I did I got banned from my local pub. Hence no more drinking. | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" Least you reported it and something was done - it's the only way this bad behaviour will change! | |||
"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" In no way do I condone this guy ‘helping himself’ by touching without asking, without any prior conversation with any of your group. I’ve experienced a similar situation in a club myself, enjoying some fun with my play partner, when my left leg was yanked backwards out of the blue! I turned to see what was going on, to discover a guy with his hand around my ankle, who looked at me and simply said “Mind if I join you?” “No you fooking can’t!” I replied, and my friend and I removed ourselves to a private room instead, nipping that situation in the bud, which is what your group should have done, instead of the ‘circle the wagons’ routine you did. Stopping play altogether was the correct action here, the guy would have got the message loud and clear 
Neither am I impressed with you and your friends laughing and sniggering about this bloke feeling like a lost sheep in a club full of nobody he knows, but he made the effort to visit by himself. This is typical of the club scene, which invites as many new people in as is possible, but in the case of single guys, the ‘friendly welcome’ rarely extends beyond the cash register. I bet a single female wouldn’t have been ignored….. | |||
"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! In no way do I condone this guy ‘helping himself’ by touching without asking, without any prior conversation with any of your group. I’ve experienced a similar situation in a club myself, enjoying some fun with my play partner, when my left leg was yanked backwards out of the blue! I turned to see what was going on, to discover a guy with his hand around my ankle, who looked at me and simply said “Mind if I join you?” “No you fooking can’t!” I replied, and my friend and I removed ourselves to a private room instead, nipping that situation in the bud, which is what your group should have done, instead of the ‘circle the wagons’ routine you did. Stopping play altogether was the correct action here, the guy would have got the message loud and clear
Neither am I impressed with you and your friends laughing and sniggering about this bloke feeling like a lost sheep in a club full of nobody he knows, but he made the effort to visit by himself. This is typical of the club scene, which invites as many new people in as is possible, but in the case of single guys, the ‘friendly welcome’ rarely extends beyond the cash register. I bet a single female wouldn’t have been ignored….."I've been ignored at a club, but I'm not expecting everybody to approach me just because I'm a single female..... Anyway, ALL bad behaviour at clubs should be reported. Even if you've told the the non-etiquette one! Not everyone wants to confront that particular person especially if she's a lone female! The host is paid to deal with the problem.... | |||
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"Unfortunately this has happened a few times with us but mostly in the Spanish clubs. The stern "fuck off" followed by being physically pushed away is understood in many languages. If a guy hasn't spoken to us whist being in the club, then the chances are I wouldn't play with them. " Spanish guys are particularly bad for being pushy .. I’ve had to persuade a cpl of them on the beach in Tenerife to get back or fuck off …. | |||
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"Unfortunately this has happened a few times with us but mostly in the Spanish clubs. The stern "fuck off" followed by being physically pushed away is understood in many languages. If a guy hasn't spoken to us whist being in the club, then the chances are I wouldn't play with them. Spanish guys are particularly bad for being pushy .. I’ve had to persuade a cpl of them on the beach in Tenerife to get back or fuck off …. " Yep we tried to play on the beach but the Spanish guys that patrol up and down following your every move puts you right off. | |||
"Unfortunately this has happened a few times with us but mostly in the Spanish clubs. The stern "fuck off" followed by being physically pushed away is understood in many languages. If a guy hasn't spoken to us whist being in the club, then the chances are I wouldn't play with them. Spanish guys are particularly bad for being pushy .. I’ve had to persuade a cpl of them on the beach in Tenerife to get back or fuck off …. Yep we tried to play on the beach but the Spanish guys that patrol up and down following your every move puts you right off." They’ve spoilt it a load of times for myself … | |||
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"OP why, when the lady declined the advances of this “loser” , did you and the other Merry men have a word in his shell like? A simple look mate the lady is not interested so please leave us alone would have surely sent the offender packing? But you have undoubtedly attained hero status with the post?" Should not be more than female partner as he said him and a fellow male joined a couple? Hence her partner should of took charge of telling the unwanted male to leave. | |||
"Sorry I’m confused. Why did the lady simply not tell him she wasn’t interested? And if he persisted, why did the lady not tell him to fuck off? What’s all this nonsense of circling the wagons around her? Not something we’ve encountered (or stood for) in a club. It’s all about being crystal clear and consistent in your communication. That was all said but he still stayed close to the bed… You said it was an open area - he was entitled to stay close to the bed. " That’s not the issue here the issue was he was touching her and being a nuisance! | |||
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"The vast majority of single guys don’t behave like this but here we go again all getting tarred with the same brush. OP what are we trying to accomplish with a thread like this?? " 'White knighting' | |||
"The vast majority of single guys don’t behave like this but here we go again all getting tarred with the same brush. OP what are we trying to accomplish with a thread like this?? " To be fair, we don't think all single guys here are tarred with that brush. Some very definitely are though. | |||
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"The vast majority of single guys don’t behave like this but here we go again all getting tarred with the same brush. OP what are we trying to accomplish with a thread like this?? To be fair, we don't think all single guys here are tarred with that brush. Some very definitely are though." But that’s no different to society outside fab. I meet idiots and wankers all the time. That’s life | |||
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"We once had a situation ina club where we were having sex just the 2 if us in a room with a few other respectful guys watching when suddenly a new bloke appears, taps me on the shoulder as I'm mid thrust and comes out with the less than charming line of , "hey mate, can I have a go?" As if I was a kid at xmas playing a new game on his xbox. And yes he did get told to fuck off ... " That’s appalling and yet I will put money on it that he does this regularly because sometime it has worked for him or he has seen it work for someone else! | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake! "If you're attending a social event alone, with lots of people you don't know, in a sexually charged environment , then maybe before paying your entrance fee...address your 'shyness', and think...Will I be able to converse and strike up a conversation, or will I just be there hoping that everyone else puts the effort in to talk to me instead so I don't have to. Remember..offence is only taken..never given. It's a conscious decision you make whether to be offended by something or not. Don't be that snowflake! Having big balls doesn't mean you have balls. | |||
"I'm single and find social events like this difficult for me so wouldn't be able to do it, I'd just be 8n corner all by myself. I would never do what that guy did, just wrong. " Exactly! But clubs probably attract losers like that so always a possibility it may happen. My point is why are single guys now being tarred with the same brush in yet another single guy negative thread. ?? | |||
"I was actually at libs on Friday and I can only back what sporty has put on here. The lady in question was an absolute stunner, young blonde with an amazing figure. The moment she walked in the main play room heads were definitely turned and sporty was close by and spoke with her and he called over another of the other guys (builder Steve) who I’m quite sure she’d previously met and as soon as they started playing the other guy dropped his towel and was right next to them and considering it wasn’t the main centre bed he was told politely no. Her fella was a quite chap and sat watching for a while but he was also wondering about at times interacting with others. I moved clearer but waited back and she made it know she had no issue with me there and I was lucky enough to play with her. Later on in the evening more play started on the centre bed with the same lady and even on there it’s not an invite in my view as a free for all. A few of us were giving her attention and to be fair it’s not for her in certain situations to know who’s at her side if she’s got a cock in her pussy and her mouth etc. He then appeared again with us and she brushed him away with her hand and he the just stood there wanking his cock.I was fucking her and then he came and some landed on her titts and that’s just shitty. Yes he wasn’t touching at that point but it’s just as creepy and one of the things I really thinks is wrong, not breaking any rules but just being a wanking zombie isn’t a good look. I don’t think he spoke to anybody all night, I mean there is being a single guy at a club and then there is being that kind of single guy. There was a couple there who I really liked the look of and they were on the main bed, I’d chatted to the guy at the bar and I gestured as they were playing if it was ok to touch and he shook his head.. fine, no problem with that. You don’t push boundaries and you respect all the people there. Sporty even mentioned to me on Friday about the other guy and at least he had the confidence to speak to John about it. The club scene isn’t easy as a single guy and if that had been my first night I’d have had alarm bells going. I definitely think next time I’d flag it up sooner but only my 6th visit to a club. " If someone spunked on my wifes tits after been told no a number of times id have went fucking mental sorry. That's a form of assault imo | |||
"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake!
If you're attending a social event alone, with lots of people you don't know, in a sexually charged environment , then maybe before paying your entrance fee...address your 'shyness', and think...Will I be able to converse and strike up a conversation, or will I just be there hoping that everyone else puts the effort in to talk to me instead so I don't have to.
Remember..offence is only taken..never given. It's a conscious decision you make whether to be offended by something or not.
Don't be that snowflake! Having big balls doesn't mean you have balls."Oh yes, of course, silly me - it's so obvious now you point it out! All I (and any other aspies) had to do all this time was flick that magic "address shyness" switch. Thank you for your basilisk piercing insight professor.  | |||
"I'm single and find social events like this difficult for me so wouldn't be able to do it, I'd just be 8n corner all by myself. I would never do what that guy did, just wrong. Exactly! But clubs probably attract losers like that so always a possibility it may happen. My point is why are single guys now being tarred with the same brush in yet another single guy negative thread. ??" They arent people are discussing 1 guys awful, disrespectful behaviour, which they are fully entitled to do. If its was a thread discussing a guy been racist it wouldn't then mean by default all men are been tarred as racist would it? Think about how ridiculous that is, the same applies here. All the decent single male swingers we know would be horrified by this behaviour and would say as much. Maybe you are mixing up how hard fab can be for single guys and taking something personally that (if your a decent guy) has absolutely nothing to do with you or how your treat, respect others. KJ | |||
"I'm single and find social events like this difficult for me so wouldn't be able to do it, I'd just be 8n corner all by myself. I would never do what that guy did, just wrong. Exactly! But clubs probably attract losers like that so always a possibility it may happen. My point is why are single guys now being tarred with the same brush in yet another single guy negative thread. ?? They arent people are discussing 1 guys awful, disrespectful behaviour, which they are fully entitled to do. If its was a thread discussing a guy been racist it wouldn't then mean by default all men are been tarred as racist would it? Think about how ridiculous that is, the same applies here. All the decent single male swingers we know would be horrified by this behaviour and would say as much. Maybe you are mixing up how hard fab can be for single guys and taking something personally that (if your a decent guy) has absolutely nothing to do with you or how your treat, respect others. KJ" Sure but his thread title says “ Example of why we single men have bad reputations..“. Surely it could have been “ an example of crass disrespectful behaviour in a club”. “ We single men have bad reputations “ ! Well I’m sorry but I am a single man and don’t have a bad reputation!! Poorly worded imho | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake!
If you're attending a social event alone, with lots of people you don't know, in a sexually charged environment , then maybe before paying your entrance fee...address your 'shyness', and think...Will I be able to converse and strike up a conversation, or will I just be there hoping that everyone else puts the effort in to talk to me instead so I don't have to.
Remember..offence is only taken..never given. It's a conscious decision you make whether to be offended by something or not.
Don't be that snowflake! Having big balls doesn't mean you have balls.
Oh yes, of course, silly me - it's so obvious now you point it out!
All I (and any other aspies) had to do all this time was flick that magic "address shyness" switch. Thank you for your basilisk piercing insight professor.
"So, knowing you're an aspie, you put yourself into situations that you know full well you will struggle to cope with? But why should I miss out, I hear you cry. You shouldn't, but then don't blame everyone else who, chances are, have no idea nor a care that you have it. Any issues and problems I have aren't yours, and I don'tand wouldn't expect you or anyone else to accommodate them...in the same way I wouldn't and shouldn't be expected to accommodate yours. If you're of sound mind to make a decision then make it. But don't get all, woe is me, if the end result doesn't turn out the way you wanted it and you decide to choose to be offended by other people's actions. Nobody owes you a living. | |||
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"The vast majority of single guys don’t behave like this but here we go again all getting tarred with the same brush. OP what are we trying to accomplish with a thread like this?? To be fair, we don't think all single guys here are tarred with that brush. Some very definitely are though. But that’s no different to society outside fab. I meet idiots and wankers all the time. That’s life " Exactly and we comment on their poor behaviour in society as well as here. We all know that all single men are not wankers or idiots but referring to or discussing the behaviour of those who are is quite legitimate. In this case the guy's behaviour was appalling but the OP didn't suggest that all the guys there were in the same league. | |||
"I'm single and find social events like this difficult for me so wouldn't be able to do it, I'd just be 8n corner all by myself. I would never do what that guy did, just wrong. Exactly! But clubs probably attract losers like that so always a possibility it may happen. My point is why are single guys now being tarred with the same brush in yet another single guy negative thread. ?? They arent people are discussing 1 guys awful, disrespectful behaviour, which they are fully entitled to do. If its was a thread discussing a guy been racist it wouldn't then mean by default all men are been tarred as racist would it? Think about how ridiculous that is, the same applies here. All the decent single male swingers we know would be horrified by this behaviour and would say as much. Maybe you are mixing up how hard fab can be for single guys and taking something personally that (if your a decent guy) has absolutely nothing to do with you or how your treat, respect others. KJ Sure but his thread title says “ Example of why we single men have bad reputations..“. Surely it could have been “ an example of crass disrespectful behaviour in a club”. “ We single men have bad reputations “ ! Well I’m sorry but I am a single man and don’t have a bad reputation!! Poorly worded imho " OP you are entitled to your opinion is a free discussion. I have not said we all single men have bad reputations. My intention is to show why we are constantly bombarded with negative comments caused by a minority who does not understand the lifestyle. Besides, individuals like this one should not even be here, attend socials or clubs as on my view they are socially impaired. The same goes to your assertion saying clubs are for losers. Are you saying all men who attend a club is a loser? I don't feel my reputation and yours were tarnished by the thread. On the contrary. Take care and happy swinging. | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake!
If you're attending a social event alone, with lots of people you don't know, in a sexually charged environment , then maybe before paying your entrance fee...address your 'shyness', and think...Will I be able to converse and strike up a conversation, or will I just be there hoping that everyone else puts the effort in to talk to me instead so I don't have to.
Remember..offence is only taken..never given. It's a conscious decision you make whether to be offended by something or not.
Don't be that snowflake! Having big balls doesn't mean you have balls.
Oh yes, of course, silly me - it's so obvious now you point it out!
All I (and any other aspies) had to do all this time was flick that magic "address shyness" switch. Thank you for your basilisk piercing insight professor.
So, knowing you're an aspie, you put yourself into situations that you know full well you will struggle to cope with?
But why should I miss out, I hear you cry. You shouldn't, but then don't blame everyone else who, chances are, have no idea nor a care that you have it.
Any issues and problems I have aren't yours, and I don'tand wouldn't expect you or anyone else to accommodate them...in the same way I wouldn't and shouldn't be expected to accommodate yours.
If you're of sound mind to make a decision then make it. But don't get all, woe is me, if the end result doesn't turn out the way you wanted it and you decide to choose to be offended by other people's actions.
Nobody owes you a living."Yes professor, knowing I'm an aspie I put myself in situations where I know I will struggle. We all do - that's life. I wonder if that's also your take on others who are differently abled from you. Should, say, the visually impaired or those in wheel chairs also take your advice and magically 'address' their circumstances or conditions before presuming any place in society? Perhaps you spent the last fortnight sat in front of the telly watching the Paralympics mumbling "loser should've stayed in their care home" at each competitor? None of us want any kind of special consideration, though we all exercise it when we interact - I dare say you might already benefit from it daily yourself without even being aware of it. For example, I wouldn't label you a 'loser' just because you have difficulty assimilating the salient point in a written piece, much though I might be tempted. Well, similarly, people like us just want those less insightful people who label us 'losers' to maybe engage their brains a little more. | |||
"The vast majority of single guys don’t behave like this but here we go again all getting tarred with the same brush. OP what are we trying to accomplish with a thread like this?? To be fair, we don't think all single guys here are tarred with that brush. Some very definitely are though. But that’s no different to society outside fab. I meet idiots and wankers all the time. That’s life Exactly and we comment on their poor behaviour in society as well as here. We all know that all single men are not wankers or idiots but referring to or discussing the behaviour of those who are is quite legitimate. In this case the guy's behaviour was appalling but the OP didn't suggest that all the guys there were in the same league." I’m sorry but his thread title does suggest that I’m afraid | |||
"Sorry I’m confused. Why did the lady simply not tell him she wasn’t interested? And if he persisted, why did the lady not tell him to fuck off? What’s all this nonsense of circling the wagons around her? Not something we’ve encountered (or stood for) in a club. It’s all about being crystal clear and consistent in your communication. That was all said but he still stayed close to the bed… You said it was an open area - he was entitled to stay close to the bed. That’s not the issue here the issue was he was touching her and being a nuisance!" Wrong - read his post again. | |||
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"Sorry I’m confused. Why did the lady simply not tell him she wasn’t interested? And if he persisted, why did the lady not tell him to fuck off? What’s all this nonsense of circling the wagons around her? Not something we’ve encountered (or stood for) in a club. It’s all about being crystal clear and consistent in your communication. That was all said but he still stayed close to the bed… You said it was an open area - he was entitled to stay close to the bed. That’s not the issue here the issue was he was touching her and being a nuisance! Wrong - read his post again. " Who decided it was anything to do with you OP? If you and your cohorts tried to corral my wife and act the "big I am" at the expense of some shy awkward bloke I think it would be you getting a strong talking to from the club owners! The poor bloke certainly wouldn't be going home thinking he was the loser. | |||
"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake!
If you're attending a social event alone, with lots of people you don't know, in a sexually charged environment , then maybe before paying your entrance fee...address your 'shyness', and think...Will I be able to converse and strike up a conversation, or will I just be there hoping that everyone else puts the effort in to talk to me instead so I don't have to.
Remember..offence is only taken..never given. It's a conscious decision you make whether to be offended by something or not.
Don't be that snowflake! Having big balls doesn't mean you have balls.
Oh yes, of course, silly me - it's so obvious now you point it out!
All I (and any other aspies) had to do all this time was flick that magic "address shyness" switch. Thank you for your basilisk piercing insight professor.
So, knowing you're an aspie, you put yourself into situations that you know full well you will struggle to cope with?
But why should I miss out, I hear you cry. You shouldn't, but then don't blame everyone else who, chances are, have no idea nor a care that you have it.
Any issues and problems I have aren't yours, and I don'tand wouldn't expect you or anyone else to accommodate them...in the same way I wouldn't and shouldn't be expected to accommodate yours.
If you're of sound mind to make a decision then make it. But don't get all, woe is me, if the end result doesn't turn out the way you wanted it and you decide to choose to be offended by other people's actions.
Nobody owes you a living.
Yes professor, knowing I'm an aspie I put myself in situations where I know I will struggle. We all do - that's life.
I wonder if that's also your take on others who are differently abled from you. Should, say, the visually impaired or those in wheel chairs also take your advice and magically 'address' their circumstances or conditions before presuming any place in society?
Perhaps you spent the last fortnight sat in front of the telly watching the Paralympics mumbling "loser should've stayed in their care home" at each competitor?
None of us want any kind of special consideration, though we all exercise it when we interact - I dare say you might already benefit from it daily yourself without even being aware of it. For example, I wouldn't label you a 'loser' just because you have difficulty assimilating the salient point in a written piece, much though I might be tempted.
Well, similarly, people like us just want those less insightful people who label us 'losers' to maybe engage their brains a little more. "Careful you don’t fall over from the weight of that chip on your shoulder!!! | |||
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"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake!
If you're attending a social event alone, with lots of people you don't know, in a sexually charged environment , then maybe before paying your entrance fee...address your 'shyness', and think...Will I be able to converse and strike up a conversation, or will I just be there hoping that everyone else puts the effort in to talk to me instead so I don't have to.
Remember..offence is only taken..never given. It's a conscious decision you make whether to be offended by something or not.
Don't be that snowflake! Having big balls doesn't mean you have balls.
Oh yes, of course, silly me - it's so obvious now you point it out!
All I (and any other aspies) had to do all this time was flick that magic "address shyness" switch. Thank you for your basilisk piercing insight professor.
So, knowing you're an aspie, you put yourself into situations that you know full well you will struggle to cope with?
But why should I miss out, I hear you cry. You shouldn't, but then don't blame everyone else who, chances are, have no idea nor a care that you have it.
Any issues and problems I have aren't yours, and I don'tand wouldn't expect you or anyone else to accommodate them...in the same way I wouldn't and shouldn't be expected to accommodate yours.
If you're of sound mind to make a decision then make it. But don't get all, woe is me, if the end result doesn't turn out the way you wanted it and you decide to choose to be offended by other people's actions.
Nobody owes you a living.
Yes professor, knowing I'm an aspie I put myself in situations where I know I will struggle. We all do - that's life.
I wonder if that's also your take on others who are differently abled from you. Should, say, the visually impaired or those in wheel chairs also take your advice and magically 'address' their circumstances or conditions before presuming any place in society?
Perhaps you spent the last fortnight sat in front of the telly watching the Paralympics mumbling "loser should've stayed in their care home" at each competitor?
None of us want any kind of special consideration, though we all exercise it when we interact - I dare say you might already benefit from it daily yourself without even being aware of it. For example, I wouldn't label you a 'loser' just because you have difficulty assimilating the salient point in a written piece, much though I might be tempted.
Well, similarly, people like us just want those less insightful people who label us 'losers' to maybe engage their brains a little more.
Careful you don’t fall over from the weight of that chip on your shoulder!!!"Careful you don't float away into the ionosphere from the lightness of that vacuum inside your head. | |||
"[Removed by poster at 04/09/21 13:37:25] He left but talking to the manager later it appears they have two strikes rule…." The second strike would have happened that same day - a snack in the mouth if he’d done that to Smoke. Fire | |||
"[Removed by poster at 04/09/21 13:37:25] He left but talking to the manager later it appears they have two strikes rule…. The second strike would have happened that same day - a snack in the mouth if he’d done that to Smoke. Fire" Best place for a snack.  | |||
"[Removed by poster at 04/09/21 13:37:25] He left but talking to the manager later it appears they have two strikes rule…. The second strike would have happened that same day - a snack in the mouth if he’d done that to Smoke. Fire Best place for a snack. "
It’s smokes fault - my fingers are tired because she gets bored watching tv and it’s the only way to stop her talking when I’m trying to watch something | |||
"I’m maybe to well mannered and wait to be invited to play and never force myself on anyone . That’s maybe why I don’t get much play" This | |||
"Last night in a club after following all the pre-play talk with a lovely couple it was decided to go to an open play area and engage in a MMFM. We all excited started to have fun and then this guy approached the bed removed his towel and without asking started to touch her. We repeatedly said no thank you, we don’t know you and you were not her type. Needless to say he kept coming back until we made a circle in order to prevent his attempts. Throughout the night when we had breaks he literally started to follow the couple and persisted trying to join when we started a new playing session. As a single guy I felt disgusted and annoyed. So yes because of this type of behaviour lots of couples categorically avoid single men. Can you blame them? So piece of advice just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee it does not entitle you to pester couples for sex. Get a grip and don’t spoil for all polite and genuine guys in the lifestyle. The guy was reported and the club manager had strong words with him. Will be banned If he comes back and don’t follow the etiquette. Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!! I was right there with you all the way on this one - agreeing that he was out of order and that you seemed to do the right thing - but then... that last bit. So let's just read that again, shall we?... "Later talking among ourselves we all remembered the guy in the social areas not chatting to anyone and lurking in the corners staring at couples… basically a looser!!!" So do we now think it's reasonable to label anyone who's shy or, as I do, finds it extremely difficult to overcome their autism in social situations 'losers'? Now don't get me wrong, you're correct that his actions later weren't on - but that bit right there?.. mate, you're well out of order with that particular piece of crap. Just because some of us find it difficult to start up conversations with people we don't know, or take a while to come out of our corners, doesn't mean we're 'losers' or whatever other reductive label you might feel like sticking on us. Seriously, quit that NT prejudice crap... fuxxake!
If you're attending a social event alone, with lots of people you don't know, in a sexually charged environment , then maybe before paying your entrance fee...address your 'shyness', and think...Will I be able to converse and strike up a conversation, or will I just be there hoping that everyone else puts the effort in to talk to me instead so I don't have to.
Remember..offence is only taken..never given. It's a conscious decision you make whether to be offended by something or not.
Don't be that snowflake! Having big balls doesn't mean you have balls.
Oh yes, of course, silly me - it's so obvious now you point it out!
All I (and any other aspies) had to do all this time was flick that magic "address shyness" switch. Thank you for your basilisk piercing insight professor.
So, knowing you're an aspie, you put yourself into situations that you know full well you will struggle to cope with?
But why should I miss out, I hear you cry. You shouldn't, but then don't blame everyone else who, chances are, have no idea nor a care that you have it.
Any issues and problems I have aren't yours, and I don'tand wouldn't expect you or anyone else to accommodate them...in the same way I wouldn't and shouldn't be expected to accommodate yours.
If you're of sound mind to make a decision then make it. But don't get all, woe is me, if the end result doesn't turn out the way you wanted it and you decide to choose to be offended by other people's actions.
Nobody owes you a living."Really hope you aren't employed in social care | |||
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