FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Married

Married

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

See lots off profiles on here of single ladies who won't play with a married guy, now I've no problem with that its a personal choice.

But there's lots of couples on here who play alone ? I'm an honest guy and my OH knows I play away as long as I don't bring it home she turns a blind eye.

What's the difference between myself and a couple who play sepperate?

I'm pretty sure there's lots of single guys on here and maybe a few single ladies who aren't.

I know I'll get some abuse for this post but please I'm not married to snow white but I have been married for 27yrs and it doe's get a bit stale!

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By *empnbunkCouple over a year ago

south coast

We are a couple who play together and alone ...i think and yes I could be wrong that it may have something to do the fact if a single fem decides she wants to play with me my wife is on here and she can talk to her where as yours isnt so she has to take your word for it your not playing behind your wifes back....again I could be wrong ..just a thot

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yep you got a good point there never thought of it that way .

But your relying on the honesty of the single person weather its a f or m that they really are single .

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By *reelove1969Couple over a year ago

bristol

as a female in part of a couple who meets single fellas (as a couple) neither wud be an appealing option to me .. cant see the point in meeting married guys on single profile as there are so many single fellas on the site u dont need to. Also wud not be interested in meeting a bloke off a couples profile even with the womans consent .. each to their own i guess

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"as a female in part of a couple who meets single fellas (as a couple) neither wud be an appealing option to me .. cant see the point in meeting married guys on single profile as there are so many single fellas on the site u dont need to. Also wud not be interested in meeting a bloke off a couples profile even with the womans consent .. each to their own i guess

Yep there are a lot of single guys on here , I spent 2yrs on MA and I thought that was bad ! Must be like a sweet shop for you !

Guess I'm just out numbered lol

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By *edangel_2013Woman over a year ago

southend

I met a married guy once, his wife walked in on us, screamed abuse at me, threw me out of the house barely giving me time to get dressed.

I met a married guy once whose wife played alone also. She walked in, and joined in.

Whole heap of difference!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I met a married guy once, his wife walked in on us, screamed abuse at me, threw me out of the house barely giving me time to get dressed.

I met a married guy once whose wife played alone also. She walked in, and joined in.

Whole heap of difference!!!! "

Take it you was at his house?

Of course this could happen to any guy you went with who had a partner, or lady it works both ways!

I've taken some crazy chances staying at fbs places even sleeping over ,never got caught out though must have been awful for you. Bet your more carful these days , or doe's the danger add that extra spice?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me there's a difference between swinging and adultery. A "single" guy playing who is doing so behind hours wifes back is just cheating to me. Doing so with everyone consenting (whether they choose to play or not) is swinging.

We might be swingers but we take our vows seriously and this is a choice we make together, if one of us wasn't happy this would all stop immediately.

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By *empnbunkCouple over a year ago

south coast

"For me there's a difference between swinging and adultery. A "single" guy playing who is doing so behind hours wifes back is just cheating to me. Doing so with everyone consenting (whether they choose to play or not) is swinging.

We might be swingers but we take our vows seriously and this is a choice we make together, if one of us wasn't happy this would all stop immediately.

Sx"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd duck if I were you .... for a group of people leading such an alternative lifestyle ... there sure is a lot of closed minded, judgemental people on here.

Sure if people don't wanna mess with a married person (male or female cos there's both on here) then that's thier business it's fair to be upfront about it ....

But .... each unto thier own and there are always reasons why .... nothing is ever black and white.

You just have to be sraight with people and accept those that don't wanna go there ... you will find plenty who don't mind.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd duck if I were you .... for a group of people leading such an alternative lifestyle ... there sure is a lot of closed minded, judgemental people on here.

Sure if people don't wanna mess with a married person (male or female cos there's both on here) then that's thier business it's fair to be upfront about it ....

But .... each unto thier own and there are always reasons why .... nothing is ever black and white.

You just have to be sraight with people and accept those that don't wanna go there ... you will find plenty who don't mind."

Id have no problem seeing a married woman or man. It is their choice after all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't meet a couple or one half of with permission or not, quite often ends badly in my experience. I would much rather take my chances with a single bloke or indeed a married guy playing on his own, I'm not here to judge

Cakes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd duck if I were you .... for a group of people leading such an alternative lifestyle ... there sure is a lot of closed minded, judgemental people on here.

Sure if people don't wanna mess with a married person (male or female cos there's both on here) then that's thier business it's fair to be upfront about it ....

But .... each unto thier own and there are always reasons why .... nothing is ever black and white.

You just have to be sraight with people and accept those that don't wanna go there ... you will find plenty who don't mind."

Why duck , I'd say most people on this site ......although they all have there own views seem to accept the outsiders .

And yes there are many who don't mind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd duck if I were you .... for a group of people leading such an alternative lifestyle ... there sure is a lot of closed minded, judgemental people on here.

Sure if people don't wanna mess with a married person (male or female cos there's both on here) then that's thier business it's fair to be upfront about it ....

But .... each unto thier own and there are always reasons why .... nothing is ever black and white.

You just have to be sraight with people and accept those that don't wanna go there ... you will find plenty who don't mind.

Id have no problem seeing a married woman or man. It is their choice after all"

Why you so far away ? Love the hair!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I wouldn't meet a couple or one half of with permission or not, quite often ends badly in my experience. I would much rather take my chances with a single bloke or indeed a married guy playing on his own, I'm not here to judge

Cakes

Read this 3 times an you've got me confused ( not hard lol ) .....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We might be swingers but we take our vows seriously and this is a choice we make together, if one of us wasn't happy this would all stop immediately.

Sx"

Thankyou I think this has answered my question

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is my problem I see anyone who has sex with anybody other than there partner is cheating I don't see the divide just because they say there 'swingers', weather or not they know.

Only single people don't cheat!

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By *heekychezzaWoman over a year ago

warrington

"This is my problem I see anyone who has sex with anybody other than there partner is cheating I don't see the divide just because they say there 'swingers', weather or not they know.

Only single people don't cheat! "

I don't agree that anyone who has sex with anyone other than their partner is cheating .....

by definition - verb (used with object)

to defraud; swindle: He cheated her out of her inheritance.

to deceive; influence by fraud: He cheated us into believing him a hero.

to elude; deprive of something expected: He cheated the law by suicide.

There is nothing dishonest or deceptive if two people in a committed relationship (married or otherwise) indulge in recreational sex. Cheating is something done without their partners knowledge.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So many people are hypocrites in the 'swinging' fraternity. Everyone's definition of what's 'cheating' or 'swinging' is different.

Surely this 'swinging' is sex within consenting adults. What goes on outside of that circle is of no consequence or business of the people involved only that measures should be made to ensure that doesn't happen especially when people say they 'can accomodate' and the husband or wife walks in. That is careless and stupidity on the person who said that. All 'risk' should be minimalised.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I met a married guy once, his wife walked in on us, screamed abuse at me, threw me out of the house barely giving me time to get dressed.

I met a married guy once whose wife played alone also. She walked in, and joined in.

Whole heap of difference!!!!

Take it you was at his house?

Of course this could happen to any guy you went with who had a partner, or lady it works both ways!

See I don't understand this statement by the OP above. if your partner knows about your playing away and prefers to turn a blind eye to it, then why make the statement that you've taken chances and never been caught out.

And this married subject comes up regularly and there is always the statement of 'if people are sleeping with others, regardless of whether they call it swinging, then they are cheating'. Its nothing more than a guilt shifting statement.

I don't care what people do, its their decision and they will live with any consequences that arise, but as you've stated it is personal choice and therefore not open to criticism.

A lot of people can't be arsed with the problems arising from married men, the time limits, the texting or phone calls that may occur, being careful about perfume etc. Some won't care at all and accept all that as they are happy with the arrangement, but others will find it a nuisance when they can choose from loads of other guys who don't have such restraints.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It works both ways mind 8-/

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is my problem I see anyone who has sex with anybody other than there partner is cheating I don't see the divide just because they say there 'swingers', weather or not they know.

Only single people don't cheat! "

Interesting, but I feel this it's just justification for what you do. But this is only my opinion. I won't be party to someone deceiving their wife. So if/when we require a single man it won't be a married one.

There are websites specifically for affairs, it's not swinging. Just my opinion, but there is a huge difference. Couples who choose to play together are enjoying their sex life in another way, this is also why we only do same room, so we can stop at why time if we're uncomfortable.

I'm sure you're still getting meets so I'm not sure what you're moaning about

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I met a married guy once, his wife walked in on us, screamed abuse at me, threw me out of the house barely giving me time to get dressed.

I met a married guy once whose wife played alone also. She walked in, and joined in.

Whole heap of difference!!!!

Take it you was at his house?

Of course this could happen to any guy you went with who had a partner, or lady it works both ways!

I don't care what people do, its their decision and they will live with any consequences that arise, but as you've stated it is personal choice and therefore not open to criticism.

I picked on that too and was going to answer till i saw your post.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"See lots off profiles on here of single ladies who won't play with a married guy, now I've no problem with that its a personal choice.

But there's lots of couples on here who play alone ? I'm an honest guy and my OH knows I play away as long as I don't bring it home she turns a blind eye.

What's the difference between myself and a couple who play sepperate?

I'm pretty sure there's lots of single guys on here and maybe a few single ladies who aren't.

I know I'll get some abuse for this post but please I'm not married to snow white but I have been married for 27yrs and it doe's get a bit stale!

If you recognise it's personal choice why are you questioning it? You're asking others to justify their choice but already on the defensive should any question your being here.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I met a married guy once, his wife walked in on us, screamed abuse at me, threw me out of the house barely giving me time to get dressed.

I met a married guy once whose wife played alone also. She walked in, and joined in.

Whole heap of difference!!!!

Take it you was at his house?

Of course this could happen to any guy you went with who had a partner, or lady it works both ways!

I don't care what people do, its their decision and they will live with any consequences that arise, but as you've stated it is personal choice and therefore not open to criticism.

Couldn't agree more!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I met a married guy once, his wife walked in on us, screamed abuse at me, threw me out of the house barely giving me time to get dressed.

I met a married guy once whose wife played alone also. She walked in, and joined in.

Whole heap of difference!!!!

Take it you was at his house?

Of course this could happen to any guy you went with who had a partner, or lady it works both ways!

I don't care what people do, its their decision and they will live with any consequences that arise, but as you've stated it is personal choice and therefore not open to criticism.

I was replying to the OP remark that she'd been caught at someone else's house, I'd not play at home because of the kids (although there adults now ) she knows but would'nt put up with me entertaining at home and I would'nt want too anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"See lots off profiles on here of single ladies who won't play with a married guy, now I've no problem with that its a personal choice.

But there's lots of couples on here who play alone ? I'm an honest guy and my OH knows I play away as long as I don't bring it home she turns a blind eye.

What's the difference between myself and a couple who play sepperate?

I'm pretty sure there's lots of single guys on here and maybe a few single ladies who aren't.

I know I'll get some abuse for this post but please I'm not married to snow white but I have been married for 27yrs and it doe's get a bit stale!

If you recognise it's personal choice why are you questioning it? You're asking others to justify their choice but already on the defensive should any question your being here.

I'm just getting feed back from swingers on the site seeing what makes you guys tick, It's just a personal opinion .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"See lots off profiles on here of single ladies who won't play with a married guy, now I've no problem with that its a personal choice.

But there's lots of couples on here who play alone ? I'm an honest guy and my OH knows I play away as long as I don't bring it home she turns a blind eye.

What's the difference between myself and a couple who play sepperate?

I'm pretty sure there's lots of single

guys on here and maybe a few single ladies who aren't.

I know I'll get some abuse for this post but please I'm not married to snow white but I have been married for 27yrs and it doe's get a bit stale!

If you recognise it's personal choice why are you questioning it? You're asking others to justify their choice but already on the defensive should any question your being here.

I'm just getting feed back from swingers on the site seeing what makes you guys tick, It's just a personal opinion ."

There is no harm in throwing out the question to get others opinion is there

Still can be hypocritical!!!

Never heard the marriage vows that it's ok to have sex with another man/woman as long as I can watch or join in??? If you want to be real pedantic about it lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Feel like I understand swingers better today than I did yesterday , thanks for all the messages good and bad , now how do I get my misses interested in swinging ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Feel like I understand swingers better today than I did yesterday , thanks for all the messages good and bad , now how do I get my misses interested in swinging ?

Rohipnol??

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By *ensual temptressWoman over a year ago

Southampton

the difference is simple to me

a couple knowing playing alone ..no deception and everyone fully awear of situation so you can relax and enjot meet .guy cheating behind partner back is playing russian roulette with their relationship . if they wish to do that then fine but totally out of order landing innocent parties in middle of domestic dispute and shit storm of HIS causing !

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I wont meet married guys, been burned before and never again, plus, married guys cannot meet on my terms, and I have become old enough and wise enough to know what I want without compromising anything, I do however, meet a married guy with their wife's permission, that is a totally different scenario as everything is open and above board, so married guys and couples that meet separately are in no similar in my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You got a point ladies

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Feel like I understand swingers better today than I did yesterday , thanks for all the messages good and bad , now how do I get my misses interested in swinging ?

Rohipnol??"

That would be so wrong lol

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By *inktherapyCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

I'd meet a married man (have done quite a few times) In some ways they are less hassle than some single guys because of their limitations. Some (definitely not all

)single guys have been known to send texts several times a day/ evening on a daily basis and seem to think that just because I'll play by myself that I can meet them when they fancy at the drop of a hat - seemingly forgetting that I have a family life away from here

With a married man you just don't get that

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By *ocoTemptationMan over a year ago

london

I think this is a real elephant in the room topic. In my opinion any swinger that judges is on really shaky ground. There are no "angels" here. As with many aspects of life people indulge in self deception to get by and I'm fine with that as long as people don’t push their convenient, customised morality in my face.

Before I became a voyeur I met several ladies and couples. Some didn't care that I was married. Some were uncomfortable and chose not to grill me. Others I could sense didn't approve but met me anyway and on a couple of strange occasions single women were very judgemental about me but……how can I say this delicately.…..still decided to unzip me. However, had I known their strong views beforehand I would not have met them .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are Happy to meet married/attached guys as long as they honest and don't try and hide the fact.

I've only played with one married guy whose wife was a swinger too but played on her own with guys. It had always been his wife playing on her own or with him but she wanted him to find a playmate for himself to have similar relationship with. She was off with her playmate at hotel night we met him and all went well. Then 2 days later got a txt saying his wife couldn't handle thought of him with another woman so they were going back to way it was before just meeting her single make playmate

Anyway that sort of put me off meeting married guys whose wife knows what they get up to. I never judge anyone and don't expect to be judged for my choices.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I think this is a real elephant in the room topic. In my opinion any swinger that judges is on really shaky ground. There are no "angels" here. As with many aspects of life people indulge in self deception to get by and I'm fine with that as long as people don’t push their convenient, customised morality in my face.

judge and morality in one post... wow impressed!!!

again here comes up that word... "judge"... again.... so lets get a few things out there...

everyone judges... be that you.. or me... yes, even mr and mrs k 4 doors down....

we make judgements all the time... if you see someone wearing something on a saturday night you may or may not like

or someone making a comment on here...

or someone eating, making a decision, who to meet, where to meet, when to meet ect ect ect....

we all have morals, or lets just call it things that we live by to make decisions, for the sake of not having a fight....

yours are not going to be the same as mine on every occasion...

I will absoulutely defend your rights to defend yours.... freedom of speech up to a point... however be aware that not everyone is going to agree.. and I defend there right to reply as well...

so saying all this.... the "judge" defence is used to the point where it is actually more or an excuse so that people can justify to themselves .....

oh.. and lets gets the morality "we all tell lies" thing debunked as well...

yes we may all tell lies... but there is a huge difference between saying "a have only had one choccy biscuit" when you had 2...... and basically playing someone other than the person you profess to love more than any other's back...

if you call the two things the same... maybe that says more about you as people than I would even care to rationalise...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Feel like I understand swingers better today than I did yesterday , thanks for all the messages good and bad , now how do I get my misses interested in swinging ?

Rohipnol??

That would be so wrong lol

Haha I know. Was joking btw lol

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I am not sure why some married people try and justify what they are doing by bringing up swingers wedding vows and say it is the same as them cheating.

Cheating behind your partners back is not the same as two people who are married playing with other people in their sex life and with consent.

As far as I am concerned no one has to justify themselves to anyone.....but for me it looks awful that they try to. No amount of twisting will make things differently....swingers ( normally ) swing without deceit....a lot of married people can't say that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just joined to have fun!

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"What's the difference between myself and a couple who play sepperate?

Nothing to a point.... but I am assuming ( could be wrongly ) but going by what you say your wife wouldn't want it in her face, so would you be able to confirm that you could play alone with your wife happy?

I am guessing the couples who do play alone on here can do that before a meet.

Thats where the difference would be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am not sure why some married people try and justify what they are doing by bringing up swingers wedding vows and say it is the same as them cheating.

Cheating behind your partners back is not the same as two people who are married playing with other people in their sex life and with consent.

I agree with what you say, if you are in a relationship and you both are open and honest about what you are and do, it does not constitute cheating. My first cheated ... simple as, he was dishonest when I confronted him.

I never hide anything from my current husband, he knows everything about me, hell he knows more than my parents...

And we actually enjoy a very healthy relationship on and off the scene.... he even allows me to swing without him, because he knows I will always come home when I say I will.

S xxx

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By *ikerbob1957Man over a year ago

Glasgow

Officially I am married. I've not had a sexual relationship with her for about 5 years now and never will again.

She has also applied for a job overseas but no mention of getting divorced.

Profile says no married guys so I am off the radar straight away.

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By *lexaWoman over a year ago

southampton

I take no notice of married/single status' on profiles. I don't think it's my place to judge.

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By *its The Spot AlotMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"We are a couple who play together and alone ...i think and yes I could be wrong that it may have something to do the fact if a single fem decides she wants to play with me my wife is on here and she can talk to her where as yours isnt so she has to take your word for it your not playing behind your wifes back....again I could be wrong ..just a thot"

Your spot on we are the same, we rarely play as a couple but we are both on here with seperate profiles, but as you say that makes it easy to confirm by chatting with my other half simple

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"See lots off profiles on here of single ladies who won't play with a married guy, now I've no problem with that its a personal choice.

But there's lots of couples on here who play alone ? I'm an honest guy and my OH knows I play away as long as I don't bring it home she turns a blind eye.

What's the difference between myself and a couple who play sepperate?

I'm pretty sure there's lots of single

guys on here and maybe a few single ladies who aren't.

I know I'll get some abuse for this post but please I'm not married to snow white but I have been married for 27yrs and it doe's get a bit stale!

If you recognise it's personal choice why are you questioning it? You're asking others to justify their choice but already on the defensive should any question your being here.

I'm just getting feed back from swingers on the site seeing what makes you guys tick, It's just a personal opinion .

There is no harm in throwing out the question to get others opinion is there

Still can be hypocritical!!!

Never heard the marriage vows that it's ok to have sex with another man/woman as long as I can watch or join in??? If you want to be real pedantic about it lol"
and if u want to get pedantic as long as u do not say " forsaking all others" then as u never said the vow u r not cheating or going against anything in the marriage vows

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its going to differ with everyone cause it's their opinion. There is no divine light that says what's right or wrong us there.

Just enjoy the scene if you can.

Your 'swinging' and NOT forming a relationship. If you want that log on to Match.com.

It's just consenting adults in a room havin sex then going back to where they came from. Simple.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Officially I am married. I've not had a sexual relationship with her for about 5 years now and never will again.

She has also applied for a job overseas but no mention of getting divorced.

Profile says no married guys so I am off the radar straight away. "

So you're separated. Which raises a good point....

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By *he Original TTMan over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

"Officially I am married. I've not had a sexual relationship with her for about 5 years now and never will again.

She has also applied for a job overseas but no mention of getting divorced.

Profile says no married guys so I am off the radar straight away.

So you're separated. Which raises a good point...."

I too am separated and going through a divorce, but until it's done and dusted, technically, I am still married. There is no chance of us getting back together, and neither of us wants to. As such I am listed as single. I do state this in my profile, but would be interested in what others think...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Officially I am married. I've not had a sexual relationship with her for about 5 years now and never will again.

She has also applied for a job overseas but no mention of getting divorced.

Profile says no married guys so I am off the radar straight away.

So you're separated. Which raises a good point....

I started a new thread.... 'separated'

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By *he Original TTMan over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

"Officially I am married. I've not had a sexual relationship with her for about 5 years now and never will again.

She has also applied for a job overseas but no mention of getting divorced.

Profile says no married guys so I am off the radar straight away.

So you're separated. Which raises a good point....

I started a new thread.... 'separated'"

Thanks Scarlet, have posted there too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What's the difference between myself and a couple who play sepperate?

I am guessing the couples who do play alone on here can do that before a meet.

Thats where the difference would be."

You put across a really good point here and my answer is " no I couldn't" , when I'm off out to meet my fb or someone else I wouldn't have a chat about it ,I'd just go out she wouldn't ask where I'm going or where I've been, I asked the original question as I wanted to know how swingers felt about it , not been trying to justify what I do, I know what I am there's no getting round that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I take no notice of married/single status' on profiles. I don't think it's my place to judge.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"What's the difference between myself and a couple who play sepperate?

I am guessing the couples who do play alone on here can do that before a meet.

Thats where the difference would be.

Then that is where the difference is....for your own reasons and even if your wife knows, you can't ask her to confirm on a phone that you are allowed to play....whereas couples on here who play alone normally can.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i have started meeting on my own as does my wife, but we ask each other first if the OH minds. all we say is not to be too descriptive,we also have a couples profile

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By *damandeve4funCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

We might be swingers but we take our vows seriously and this is a choice we make together, if one of us wasn't happy this would all stop immediately.

Sx"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What's the difference between myself and a couple who play sepperate?

I am guessing the couples who do play alone on here can do that before a meet.

Thats where the difference would be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We might be swingers but we take our vows seriously and this is a choice we make together, if one of us wasn't happy this would all stop immediately.

Sx"

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