FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > men in swinging couples that cheat
men in swinging couples that cheat
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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ok ok so this could be a touchy subject but on my singles profile im getting message from couples where the guy is asking to meet but do not what his swinging wife /partner to know ?? i know these are real swinging couples as ive seen them at clubs i did blocked couples for this reason some time ago but since unblocking the male halfs have started again ...
its not the cheating that im suprised at as thats in all walks of life but why would you cheat if your in a swinging relationship ??? (not talking fb or fwb as they are nothing) but real relationships that have very open sex views now thats a real head twister ...
and yes i realise this could be from the fem halfs too these things work both ways i know just the question is from my view...
im not enclosing anything from my messages so therefore not breaking site rules
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"ok ok so this could be a touchy subject but on my singles profile im getting message from couples where the guy is asking to meet but do not what his swinging wife /partner to know ?? i know these are real swinging couples as ive seen them at clubs i did blocked couples for this reason some time ago but since unblocking the male halfs have started again ...
its not the cheating that im suprised at as thats in all walks of life but why would you cheat if your in a swinging relationship ??? (not talking fb or fwb as they are nothing) but real relationships that have very open sex views now thats a real head twister ...
and yes i realise this could be from the fem halfs too these things work both ways i know just the question is from my view...
im not enclosing anything from my messages so therefore not breaking site rules
"
This is nothing new OH used to get this all the time why she isn't on here anymore - changed her number never gave out always used to be mine. She got fed up with guys of couples who's partner didn't know texting her to meet alone sending her dirty texts (yeah I know) and cock picks.
Not all couples are as squeaky clean and they profess to be
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"
its not the cheating that im suprised at as thats in all walks of life but why would you cheat if your in a swinging relationship ??? (not talking fb or fwb as they are nothing) but real relationships that have very open sex views now thats a real head twister ...
"
Not all swinging relationships are honey and roses - there is also a dark side to swinging 
It goes with the territory - unfortunately |
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By *euve4usCouple
over a year ago
Teddington |
We create a WhatsApp group chat when we know we plan to meet - only had one guy think it was ok to message Claire separately and he was quickly shot down by her. He did apologise and thought it was ok as Claire set the group up. We only share numbers when we are comfortable with meeting. |
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Why do we always go into this ,we try not to meet them but if people belive guys r 30 to 60 years old cant accomadate, something wrong ,the is a very small majority that will live with there parents. But usually excuses have the kids with me ,will pay for hotel ,can we meat at yours , can we meet at a club it goes on for ever .just use your own common sense |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
Why does there always have to be a nefarious reason for people not accommodating. We can accommodate but we don't - simples
The truth is that a lot of people start swinging for relationship reasons, they think swinging is the answer, a way of wallpapering over the cracks.
One party starts to enjoy it too much? One party doesn't doesn't get the same out of it or decides enough is enough not for them.
How many "couples??" profiles (does anyone think) are on this site at any one time, where one partner is no longer playing but the other continues behind the others back, pretending to still be a couple?
Claiming to be here with partners permission (maybe because, they were a swinging couple its is ok/different in their eyes or acceptable, they think they have implicit permission to cheat). People pick and slate others for cheating but are often just as guilty in their own relationship
It is the nature of the beast
Closing your eyes to the fact doesn't make it go away.
We used WhatsApp groups and are great for arranging meets and having a continuous discussion, but down side you can know everyones number and there is nothing stopping them from WhatsApping separately - what happens if you have a good rapport with the other party - how do you approach the matter?
Probably leave the group - then the other parties come into the forum calling them time wasters etc etc etc 
As said ^^^^^ not all couples are squeaky clean when it comes to cheating |
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Chances are the men are in failed ‘open’ relationships where the female half is getting more attention and they don’t like it. So they take matters into their own hands. Or they believe their other half is cheating and so they feel they need to get even with point scoring. Just a combination of paranoia, jealousy and revenge all rolled into one. It’s a dangerous and foolish game regardless.
Ed |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"Chances are the men are in failed ‘open’ relationships where the female half is getting more attention and they don’t like it. So they take matters into their own hands. Or they believe their other half is cheating and so they feel they need to get even with point scoring. Just a combination of paranoia, jealousy and revenge all rolled into one. It’s a dangerous and foolish game regardless.
Ed"
"Chances are the men are in failed ‘open’ relationships where the female half is getting more attention and they don’t like it. So they take matters into their own hands. Or they believe their other half is cheating and so they feel they need to get even with point scoring. Just a combination of paranoia, jealousy and revenge all rolled into one. It’s a dangerous and foolish game regardless.
Ed"
It happens for for many reasons - and to answer the OP it probably happens more than people care to admit.
Often the fantasy is not always the reality, but still try to live the fantasy.
FFM can leave a lot of guys feeling inadequate, jealous, . Some women feel they can't enjoy it too much, others don't enjoy it at all but may go through the motions anyway (This is just an example of one scenario not all)
Egos are fragile both genders have them.
Swinging can be full of conflicting emotions,
Final note on the above - guy/woman pretending to be a couple is not always a fake profile created - could have been genuine once - but can't give it up, cos couples profiles are seen to have more luck and because amongst other things they may have verifications and pictures - even though they may have been for them as a couple.
We(us couple) are still involved with the swinging community ^^^not much these days. OH does not come here anymore (has her reasons) - so I'm me ^^^. If I was here as us that would make me just as the above - it was my choice, and all that comes with being a solo male on site like this.
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"Why do we always go into this ,we try not to meet them but if people belive guys r 30 to 60 years old cant accomadate, something wrong ,the is a very small majority that will live with there parents. But usually excuses have the kids with me ,will pay for hotel ,can we meat at yours , can we meet at a club it goes on for ever .just use your own common sense "
What about those of us who rent a room? I currently live with my landlady and her daughter hence why I can't accommodate at present. Not all 30-60 year olds are playing away or dodgy. |
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Just reflecting on posts here. The question that pops into my mind is: can you label the cheating scenario as swinging?
Countless times talking to “single men” on clubs they drop the guard and confess they are attached and the wife/partner/girlfriend does not have a clue of their mischieves.
The same men also tend to by hypocrites saying that even in the case she wanted to swing they wouldn’t do as a couple as they could not see other men having sex with her…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We create a WhatsApp group chat when we know we plan to meet - only had one guy think it was ok to message Claire separately and he was quickly shot down by her. He did apologise and thought it was ok as Claire set the group up. We only share numbers when we are comfortable with meeting."
Reasonable I'd say.
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"Just reflecting on posts here. The question that pops into my mind is: can you label the cheating scenario as swinging?
Countless times talking to “single men” on clubs they drop the guard and confess they are attached and the wife/partner/girlfriend does not have a clue of their mischieves.
The same men also tend to by hypocrites saying that even in the case she wanted to swing they wouldn’t do as a couple as they could not see other men having sex with her…."
People use the word "cheating" far too easily, like many words in the forums it almost becomes weaponised for some.
If one party is not complicit in the swinging world it can be defined as "cheating". Whether that be solo males, solo females, swinging couples - People define "cheating" to suit their own arguments and situation/standards. Whether they admit it or not, often "those on couples profiles" are guilty of dual standards/hypocrisy - many think just cos they are defined as a swinging couple it gives them a - I'm not cheating trump card
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We only ever meet at Clubs. This avoids situations like this as we are unlikely to ask if someone is cheating. It may be some of the guys are, but it is not our business to ask. It is only if we really click at a Club that we will meet outside of this environment. Then we are happy to give numbers out as we trust the other party to recognise we don’t cheat on each other.
Block is your friend, use it well |
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"ok ok so this could be a touchy subject but on my singles profile im getting message from couples where the guy is asking to meet but do not what his swinging wife /partner to know ?? i know these are real swinging couples as ive seen them at clubs i did blocked couples for this reason some time ago but since unblocking the male halfs have started again ...
We have had the same. Male half of couples trying to meet Arrow. Some from couples we have even met socially. I am not sure all couples on here are equally committed to this lifestyle and some wives/partners are not really sure about swapping so the guys try to still get a meet alone. Totally unacceptable and we have told the offending parties this.
its not the cheating that im suprised at as thats in all walks of life but why would you cheat if your in a swinging relationship ??? (not talking fb or fwb as they are nothing) but real relationships that have very open sex views now thats a real head twister ...
and yes i realise this could be from the fem halfs too these things work both ways i know just the question is from my view...
im not enclosing anything from my messages so therefore not breaking site rules
This is nothing new OH used to get this all the time why she isn't on here anymore - changed her number never gave out always used to be mine. She got fed up with guys of couples who's partner didn't know texting her to meet alone sending her dirty texts (yeah I know) and cock picks.
Not all couples are as squeaky clean and they profess to be
"
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"It makes me wonder whether the cheating scenario is a kink to them? Miss pc "
We know from other threads, it is with some solo guys, guys of couples also I would imagine.
Some people get obsessed like and becomes like an addiction - some get dangerously obsessed.
There is no one single answer - every case can be different - doesn't mean it doesn't happen and trying to sweep it under the carpet doesn't help. It is a part of the swinging scene good and bad
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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ok wow lots of different replies there this question was more aimed at the why would you cheat when you already in a swinging relationship as i said these are long term swinging couples that we have seen playing openly at clubs the type of xouples some look at and say wow wish we were like you two.
one of these couples were swinging when we first came on to the scene 28 years ago why would you risk all that to play away with another swinger ?? they must see the moans of 1,000s of men on here everyday wanting these relationships yet they want to risk joining them ?? this is the part we really dont understand .
i tell them no i tell them but you know we've spoken as couples (never played) yet they seem to think they are untouchable but last weekend we did our first club for nearly 2 years one of the guys was there with his wife as soon as he saw me he went white i wont say what happened next just in case someone cottons on but never saw them again that night.....oh and no nothing was said
this is why the question was asked really these are long term swinging couples... its a problem ive had before as i said i blocked couples because of this but was suprised as soon as i unblocked for this to happen again.. so hence the question why risk your dream lifestyle i say dream as in it is for many as we see from the forums with guys and women looking..
do i really have to block couples again ...wonders how rife this is or do i have a invisiable tattoo on my head saying i love cheating swingers ??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've seen it before a couple of times.
It truly never ceases to amaze me that people that already have the excitement and freedom of swinging, are still dissatisfied and titillated by 'the forbidden'.
It's part of why we are doomed as a species. Hellbent on selfishness.  |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"ok wow lots of different replies there this question was more aimed at the why would you cheat when you already in a swinging relationship as i said these are long term swinging couples that we have seen playing openly at clubs the type of xouples some look at and say wow wish we were like you two.
"
As you say different replies - there are many reasons and it could be anyone of them. Could be as simple as one partner can't get what they want from swinging lifestyle with their partner - needs/wants can change over time - maybe what you wanted from the lifestyle one no longer applies, circumstances change - same as any relationships - not one shoe fits all.
Swinging is relationship is no different - what we want as a couple as very different now than it was - we are fortunate ours still align |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"ok wow lots of different replies there this question was more aimed at the why would you cheat when you already in a swinging relationship as i said these are long term swinging couples that we have seen playing openly at clubs the type of xouples some look at and say wow wish we were like you two.
As you say different replies - there are many reasons and it could be anyone of them. Could be as simple as one partner can't get what they want from swinging lifestyle with their partner - needs/wants can change over time - maybe what you wanted from the lifestyle one no longer applies, circumstances change - same as any relationships - not one shoe fits all.
Swinging is relationship is no different - what we want as a couple as very different now than it was - we are fortunate ours still align "
maybe your right maybe i think of our relationship and expext that just to be the swinging norm ..there has vever been a day in our swinging lifestyle where we are not on the same page that to me is what make this lifestyle so good the open honesty between us ontop of our love and trust ... it certinly seem there are just as many weak swinging relationships as in the vanillia world |
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"
and yes i realise this could be from the fem halfs too these things work both ways i know just the question is from my view...
"
Back where we used to live, I messaged a couple soon after they joined Fab - my message was read and my profile viewed, and though I didn't get a reply, it wasn't deleted either. Some weeks later I suddenly got a message - which turned out to be from the female half, without his knowledge - asking if I'd like to meet...
....it transpired that although they played together as a couple with other couples, she wanted/needed more - and I the lucky one who she chose to be her "extra bit on the side". We went on to have a number of meets - made all the easier by her living just two minute's walk away, in the road parallel to ours!  |
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So to be clear.
You know them previously as a couple. The guy later messages you separately. Are you always sure that while this is happening they are still together?!
The reason I ask this is because there are a lot of couples profiles, where the couple have split up and the guy is still using the profile, pretending to be a couple. |
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"We've seen it before a couple of times.
It truly never ceases to amaze me that people that already have the excitement and freedom of swinging, are still dissatisfied and titillated by 'the forbidden'.
It's part of why we are doomed as a species. Hellbent on selfishness. "
I’ve heard of quite a few couples on here, where the male just keeps pushing and pushing things to the point where they split.
There are many men who are never satisfied. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"So to be clear.
You know them previously as a couple. The guy later messages you separately. Are you always sure that while this is happening they are still together?!
The reason I ask this is because there are a lot of couples profiles, where the couple have split up and the guy is still using the profile, pretending to be a couple. "
This ^^^^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So to be clear.
You know them previously as a couple. The guy later messages you separately. Are you always sure that while this is happening they are still together?!
The reason I ask this is because there are a lot of couples profiles, where the couple have split up and the guy is still using the profile, pretending to be a couple.
This ^^^^^^ "
well as i said further up one couple were in the club we were in last weekend ? he messaged before the weekend so while i understand what your saying and yes some split and still use the couples profile these guys are very mush still active together with wives |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's weird, we were both a little worried we would be jealous watching each other fuck somebody else but it turned out to be pretty damned hot. Even the idea of meeting separately is somewhat ok but we would never simply meet another person without the other's knowledge. Maybe it's a married vs not married thing as opposed to just people in a relationship? |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"It's weird, we were both a little worried we would be jealous watching each other fuck somebody else but it turned out to be pretty damned hot. Even the idea of meeting separately is somewhat ok but we would never simply meet another person without the other's knowledge. Maybe it's a married vs not married thing as opposed to just people in a relationship? "
I think that was the essence of the thread that swinging relationships are seen as the perfect "Having Your Cake And Eating It" relationships, so why cheat.
As said ^^^^^^^ often wallpapering over the cracks relationships.
Can be just as prone to dishonesty and deceit by one or other party as any other relationship - but for those that do cheat, being a swinging relationship gives them some kind of legitimacy to cheat opposed to a vanilla relationship. |
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