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By *ubal1 OP Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
Successfully negotiating the next stage in the process to bring a social meet in a public forum onto the next level with either a single female or an FM couple has never been my strongest point.
I fail too often at this penultimate hurdle; sometimes there has been no chemistry; what tactics work for others to open the bedroom or hotel room door.
On other occasions, I didn't inspire enough confidence in the other party.
For several years I used to regularly meet a couple with whom I had a good rapport, but lost my face to face negotiation skills with strangers, whom I had only spoken to by phone or e- mail.
How have others managed to get over this hurdle? |
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By *ubal1 OP Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
To me it is a form of negotiation; set out stall in profile; a bit of toing and froing before a first meet and the specifics can be agreed: I would like to, but I don't; do you...; what do you not, etc.
Profiles are like a CV, but the issue is getting to the handshake, and agreeing the details, even informally.
After the first swap, further meets should be much easier, at least that's my experience.
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By *ubal1 OP Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
"What are some of the concessions you've made over the years jubal ? "
Safe sex is a must, but in the past myself and former partner went bareback with a couple whom we met fairly regularly and began to trust. There were no problems, sti-wise, but the arrangement ended when myself and former split.
With the increasing prevalence of untreatable gonorrhoea, safe sex is an absolute must; negotiation-wise I find the problem seems to be getting past that initial meeting, which is frustrating.
A recent social meet, that I thought had potential, three weeks ago today, did not come to fruition.
Good chemistry, good rapoort, excellent spontaneous conversation, but frustratingly no further contact.Very disappointing, which is why I posted, to elicit other opinions.
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"What are some of the concessions you've made over the years jubal ?
Safe sex is a must, but in the past myself and former partner went bareback with a couple whom we met fairly regularly and began to trust. There were no problems, sti-wise, but the arrangement ended when myself and former split.
With the increasing prevalence of untreatable gonorrhoea, safe sex is an absolute must; negotiation-wise I find the problem seems to be getting past that initial meeting, which is frustrating.
A recent social meet, that I thought had potential, three weeks ago today, did not come to fruition.
Good chemistry, good rapoort, excellent spontaneous conversation, but frustratingly no further contact.Very disappointing, which is why I posted, to elicit other opinions.
"
A successful social then.
You met and the other party decided they didn't want to take it further. |
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"That sums it up, but frustratingly it is impossible to go back and ask, why not?
In order to be better prepared, next time."
I'm going to assume that answer is for me. Hit reply and quote.
Asking why won't get you an honest answer though, will it.
Most of the time it's simply lack of attraction but occasionally it's something like awful teeth/nasal hair/a dodgy comment/poor manners and unless someone is cruel, telling the truth often hurts.
Accept that it's not going further and move on.
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