FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is it all like a dating game?
Is it all like a dating game?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Bear with me here boys and girls.
I'm just curious that's all as to how many ladies and gents on here will find a profile while searching and go "nah yeah, weeeeeeeeell out of my league" and not message them. Simply because you know you've wasted your time and you know they won't reply.
Personally I think I'm just a friendly bloke that likes a good blether but I'm not what you would call "hot to trot" so I'm blanked or deleted. I don't mind though as nothing ventured nothing gained and all that.
As I say just curious how everyone else finds it sometimes.
Enjoy your Sunday folks  |
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I don't believe in leagues. Lord knows in the past I've had FWBs who were far more attractive than I am but for some unaccountable reason they found me sexy.
I do sometimes see a profile that appeals, but when I look at their verifications they are all from slim attractive women, so I figure I'm not going to be anything that they're looking for and I move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Same trail of thought with the lady above. Look at their veris, notice their type - wouldn't bother messaging.
When I have met over the years, I have been punching with the majority!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been guilty of this, seen many a profile and thought wow but wont message as I know I would be blanked, regardless of the message or how poor my profile may be just how fab is tbh , but on the flip side I have also messaged someone I thought to be out my league ( and yes she was ) and I ended up meeting a number of times gutted shes left tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the time I will message. I think that some prejudge, are not as open minded as they may suggest. In my experience sex is a great leveller. Once naked and carnal, we are all the same. |
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Nope, never think anybody is out of my league. I know I don't fit with a lot of people's preferences and I can pretty much tell who will want to meet us and who wouldn't based on their profile and pictures. O never, ever think anybody is better than me just because they're younger, fitter and better looking. |
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"Most of the time I will message. I think that some prejudge, are not as open minded as they may suggest. In my experience sex is a great leveller. Once naked and carnal, we are all the same."
I’m open minded as in what I enjoy sexually - and willing to try new experiences that don’t involve either pain or excrement - also not a fan of humiliation either way.
However - I’m not ‘open minded’ in that I’m unwilling to have any kind of sexual intercourse with someone I’m not visually/physically attracted to as well as mentally.
There appears to be a school of thought on here that ‘true swingers/hedonists’ will have sex with multiple people regardless of physical attraction.
As for being willing to message people I find attractive - it’s all I do at the moment as I’ve blocked single males and prefer to do the ‘hunting’ myself.
Many of the guys I’ve messaged meet primarily younger, slimmer ladies - I used to be slim myself.
Now I’m not slim I find most are still interested - some aren’t. My self esteem is pretty healthy so rejection doesn’t bother me. 
I’d advise anyone out there who wouldn’t be offended or upset by refusal or being ignored to just go for it - what have you got to lose? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of the time I will message. I think that some prejudge, are not as open minded as they may suggest. In my experience sex is a great leveller. Once naked and carnal, we are all the same.
I’m open minded as in what I enjoy sexually - and willing to try new experiences that don’t involve either pain or excrement - also not a fan of humiliation either way.
However - I’m not ‘open minded’ in that I’m unwilling to have any kind of sexual intercourse with someone I’m not visually/physically attracted to as well as mentally.
There appears to be a school of thought on here that ‘true swingers/hedonists’ will have sex with multiple people regardless of physical attraction.
As for being willing to message people I find attractive - it’s all I do at the moment as I’ve blocked single males and prefer to do the ‘hunting’ myself.
Many of the guys I’ve messaged meet primarily younger, slimmer ladies - I used to be slim myself.
Now I’m not slim I find most are still interested - some aren’t. My self esteem is pretty healthy so rejection doesn’t bother me.
I’d advise anyone out there who wouldn’t be offended or upset by refusal or being ignored to just go for it - what have you got to lose? "
There is nothing to lose here. I cant see you being rebuffed. You are attractive, gorgeous body and if you don't mind me saying an amazing butt  x |
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"Most of the time I will message. I think that some prejudge, are not as open minded as they may suggest. In my experience sex is a great leveller. Once naked and carnal, we are all the same.
I’m open minded as in what I enjoy sexually - and willing to try new experiences that don’t involve either pain or excrement - also not a fan of humiliation either way.
However - I’m not ‘open minded’ in that I’m unwilling to have any kind of sexual intercourse with someone I’m not visually/physically attracted to as well as mentally.
There appears to be a school of thought on here that ‘true swingers/hedonists’ will have sex with multiple people regardless of physical attraction.
As for being willing to message people I find attractive - it’s all I do at the moment as I’ve blocked single males and prefer to do the ‘hunting’ myself.
Many of the guys I’ve messaged meet primarily younger, slimmer ladies - I used to be slim myself.
Now I’m not slim I find most are still interested - some aren’t. My self esteem is pretty healthy so rejection doesn’t bother me.
I’d advise anyone out there who wouldn’t be offended or upset by refusal or being ignored to just go for it - what have you got to lose?
There is nothing to lose here. I cant see you being rebuffed. You are attractive, gorgeous body and if you don't mind me saying an amazing butt x"
Nope - I get ignored or rejected occasionally. I’m cool with it though. Nobody is everybody’s type!
Thanks for the butt compliment though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of the time I will message. I think that some prejudge, are not as open minded as they may suggest. In my experience sex is a great leveller. Once naked and carnal, we are all the same.
I’m open minded as in what I enjoy sexually - and willing to try new experiences that don’t involve either pain or excrement - also not a fan of humiliation either way.
However - I’m not ‘open minded’ in that I’m unwilling to have any kind of sexual intercourse with someone I’m not visually/physically attracted to as well as mentally.
There appears to be a school of thought on here that ‘true swingers/hedonists’ will have sex with multiple people regardless of physical attraction.
As for being willing to message people I find attractive - it’s all I do at the moment as I’ve blocked single males and prefer to do the ‘hunting’ myself.
Many of the guys I’ve messaged meet primarily younger, slimmer ladies - I used to be slim myself.
Now I’m not slim I find most are still interested - some aren’t. My self esteem is pretty healthy so rejection doesn’t bother me.
I’d advise anyone out there who wouldn’t be offended or upset by refusal or being ignored to just go for it - what have you got to lose?
There is nothing to lose here. I cant see you being rebuffed. You are attractive, gorgeous body and if you don't mind me saying an amazing butt x
Nope - I get ignored or rejected occasionally. I’m cool with it though. Nobody is everybody’s type!
Thanks for the butt compliment though. "
They are blind lol. If you ever down this way, tap me up. No rebuff here x |
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"Most of the time I will message. I think that some prejudge, are not as open minded as they may suggest. In my experience sex is a great leveller. Once naked and carnal, we are all the same.
I’m open minded as in what I enjoy sexually - and willing to try new experiences that don’t involve either pain or excrement - also not a fan of humiliation either way.
However - I’m not ‘open minded’ in that I’m unwilling to have any kind of sexual intercourse with someone I’m not visually/physically attracted to as well as mentally.
There appears to be a school of thought on here that ‘true swingers/hedonists’ will have sex with multiple people regardless of physical attraction.
As for being willing to message people I find attractive - it’s all I do at the moment as I’ve blocked single males and prefer to do the ‘hunting’ myself.
Many of the guys I’ve messaged meet primarily younger, slimmer ladies - I used to be slim myself.
Now I’m not slim I find most are still interested - some aren’t. My self esteem is pretty healthy so rejection doesn’t bother me.
I’d advise anyone out there who wouldn’t be offended or upset by refusal or being ignored to just go for it - what have you got to lose?
There is nothing to lose here. I cant see you being rebuffed. You are attractive, gorgeous body and if you don't mind me saying an amazing butt x
Nope - I get ignored or rejected occasionally. I’m cool with it though. Nobody is everybody’s type!
Thanks for the butt compliment though. "
If you messaged me I'd be there I a flash!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is quite insightful from others. And I am just as guilty of prejudging what men will find attractive or not. I try to switch it around in my head because I've been with conventionally handsome gymfit men and men who aren't. It's usually the whole package that attracts me and keeps me coming back for more. No, not that package!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pity so many people feel this way for whatever their personal reasons. When we look, we're primarily looking at personality and quality of person through how their profile reads. People who have million dos and don'ts, certain looks etc etc we just flick past. If we think we'd like people socially and/or sex wise, then physicality has little to do wkth it for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I doubt myself all the time being a plus size woman but I get plenty of messages of never messaged anyone myself though because of that ."
You Look absolutely fine to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I doubt myself all the time being a plus size woman but I get plenty of messages of never messaged anyone myself though because of that .
You Look absolutely fine to me "
Awww thank you x |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"I don't believe in leagues. Lord knows in the past I've had FWBs who were far more attractive than I am but for some unaccountable reason they found me sexy.
I do sometimes see a profile that appeals, but when I look at their verifications they are all from slim attractive women, so I figure I'm not going to be anything that they're looking for and I move on."
Wrong answer |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"This is quite insightful from others. And I am just as guilty of prejudging what men will find attractive or not. I try to switch it around in my head because I've been with conventionally handsome gymfit men and men who aren't. It's usually the whole package that attracts me and keeps me coming back for more. No, not that package! "
Correct answer... each to their own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm super arragant so everyone is in my league ....
Jk.
I wont message if it's clear from their profile I'm not their type.
I may do a cheeky wink if it's border line (say an age thing)
But based simply on their looks ... Nope. Who knows what their link is !  |
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I don't believe in leagues and dont have a type - i just like a pretty face and dont have one myself and so struggle massively here without my shining personality able to make up for the aesthetic shortcomings! |
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I can relate to this completely, countless times browsing and thinking "she is way too attractive for me" "she is way too popular for me" etc. Maybe I'm wrong but its a large confidence hurdle to overcome |
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