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Hot Wife and Cuckolding
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We I guess fit into hotwife (feel free to correct me) I like to share wife and we all fuck at same time. Cockolds tend let wife fuck one on one with a bull then clean/fuck/humiliation/reclaimed depending on flavour of kink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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played the hot wife way for years and the last 3 or 4 years cuckold both can be very different or not so .... but with both of these they are hard to pigeon hole because no 2 couples are the same everybody does things thier own way yes the basics are there that puts you in that boxs but that about the only thing that couples will have in common |
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Same result but often different mindsets
Different answers from different people but basically the husband enjoys seeing his wife fucked by one or more men
Cuckold involves a degree of mental and physical humiliation which some desire and enjoy
As long as both as happy -
happy swinging! |
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"Is there a difference between the 2?
A hot wife obviously is a good looking lady whose man wants to share but isn't cuckolding the same thing? "
Different things. We would consider ourselves a hotwife couple but would have no interest in some of the things associated with cuckolding.
You might want to throw it into google  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is no scientific definition of 'cuckolding' or 'hotwifing'. It has already been intimated in this thread that wise heads won't even agree. The solution is simple. Make it clear what is YOUR definition and not what others perceive to be. There are areas of both we would be happy with and other area of both that we wouldn't be happy with. Make your boundaries clear to all.  |
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We consider ourselves to enjoy the hotwife dynamic but there's no humiliation involved in it. Just like the excitement of her going out alone to meet someone that we have both met before but the evening will be just her with them. I get updates throughout the eve with pics, messages videos etc and then when she returns I reclaim her and hear all about it while we play. That's what we like to think of as hotwife fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there a difference between the 2?
A hot wife obviously is a good looking lady whose man wants to share but isn't cuckolding the same thing? "
Nope .
Two different things .
Hotwife predominantly comprises solo meets with a single guy.
Cuckold is more of having sex in front of the hubby, who may be caged and in some cases ends up eating creampies, his reward. Hence most cuck cpls are bareback .
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink. |
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By *he LsCouple
over a year ago
East Midlands |
"While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink."
That's what we thought, we play Stag\Vixen Hotwifing and Cuckold comes up when fantasising but we don't play that way. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
Just to add re point above on “no power games” in hotwife scenarios. Not strictly true as there are power dynamics present in all situations.
For many husbands of hotwives there is a sense of power through willingly sharing their wife but her returning to him after. He ultimately still “wins”. |
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This is spot on, one more thing I'd like to add, sometimes the hotwife lifestyle can also involve the wife meeting her partner alone whilst the husband stays at home, many husbands like the idea of hearing about their wife's exploits or "reclaiming" her but don't enjoy actually being there.
Cuckolds usually like to be present, as mentioned above with the whole humiliation factor or just to watch their wife be pleasured.
"While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Birldn has said it better than I.
I'd suggest that the both sides need to be very clear what their roles are and boundaries, as it's more of a spectrum than definition. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Birldn has said it better than I.
I'd suggest that the both sides need to be very clear what their roles are and boundaries, as it's more of a spectrum than definition. "
yes indeed. Communication is key. Then everyone is happy/fulfilled.  |
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By *lippy02Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"Same result but often different mindsets
Different answers from different people but basically the husband enjoys seeing his wife fucked by one or more men
Cuckold involves a degree of mental and physical humiliation which some desire and enjoy
As long as both as happy -
happy swinging!"
Well explained |
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To the OP you need to understand the lifestyle and the time and effort you need to put in to be a bull. Which i assume you have an interest in, pick a flavour and stick to it you will be a better bull for yourself and your couple.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having met a good few couples I can confirm that you might as well chuck all labels away because no matter if some one calls it hotwife or cuckold every single couple has different ideas and kinks that they want to fullfill and there all that different that labels are a waste of time. |
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I've just seen a profile sharing this podcast, which although a little long and tedious at times, does explain the differences between hotwife, cuckold, stag/vixen dynamics -
https://www.keysandanklets.com/episodes/5
C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We I guess fit into hotwife (feel free to correct me) I like to share wife and we all fuck at same time. Cockolds tend let wife fuck one on one with a bull then clean/fuck/humiliation/reclaimed depending on flavour of kink."
defo a hot wife x
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By *bzcoupleCouple
over a year ago
Aberdeenshire |
Basically the main difference is humiliation. A cuck likes to be humiliated by his wife as she plays or after she’s played with another.
A hotwife would tend to play with another on her own but no humiliation of her husband. If she plays with someone else with the husband there, she would tend to be called a Vixen.
That’s a total generalisation though, and really you’re into what you’re into regardless of what’s it’s called. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a cuckold is not a choice, just like being gay is not a choice. You are born this way. You can not change it.
The cuckoldress/hotwife terminology. Technically, they are quite different. I suspect many of you want a hotwife but think you’re looking for a cuckoldress. A hotwife engages in the same sexual adventures as a cuckoldress and also with the same understanding that the cuck is a loyal monogamous partner. The vast difference happens OUTSIDE the bedroom and the power differential and motivations. Simply put, hotwifing is an activity you do. Cuckolding/a cuckoldress is a way of life that inincludes hotwifing activities but is not limited to it.
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We are a stag/vixen couple.
I pick the meets for my hotwife and pick her outfits and she gets to play with the man/girl before I join in.
There is no humiluation at all and everyone is equal when we play.
I also let her play alone with her meets if she likes the guy or girl alot |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Don't label, just enjoy. "
For many things in life I would agree. However, labelling is useful as a shorthand filter on sites like fab. You get the gist of what is being sought/on offer and that hopefully cuts down on time wasting and disappointment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink."
Someone has hit the nail on the head with this post, this in a nut shell is exactly how they are defined.
I have and still are exploring the cuckold lifestyle, and that’s exactly what it is, a lifestyle I always view Hotwife as an extra marital curricular activity.
I didn’t chose to become a cuck, it fell naturally in my previous relationship and it’s continued.
For me cuckolding empowers the woman which I love, it gives her a sense of control and normally cuckolding involved a cuck like me that’s sexually inadequate. Which allows the bull to feel a superiority within a relationship adding a further dimension to it. I like the feeling of inferiority when a bull is around. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
What would be interesting is to hear an honest account from the males (bulls) who like meeting cuckold couples. What do YOU get out if it? Do you enjoy the sense of power? Do you enjoy humiliating the husband? Why?
It’s all kink so just as interesting to hear the other POV. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would be interesting is to hear an honest account from the males (bulls) who like meeting cuckold couples. What do YOU get out if it? Do you enjoy the sense of power? Do you enjoy humiliating the husband? Why?
It’s all kink so just as interesting to hear the other POV."
From my experience, I’ve discussed this with a few bulls as i think it helps get their perspective when understanding cuckolding.
The constant theme is the power play, knowing that in my case my gf wanted them (sexually) more than me, being able to walk in to our home and be the alpha male, be in control and the partner in our case have very little to no control.
Then there is the humiliation aspect which I explored very late on, the clean up play, the chastity play and the comparison wether that be physical or verbal and being ‘put in your place’ all helps the bull achieve that superiority, the feeling of taking something (for that particular moment) that isn’t theirs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there a difference between the 2?
A hot wife obviously is a good looking lady whose man wants to share but isn't cuckolding the same thing? "
There are plenty of hotwives who aren’t good looking, though it’s a subjective matter!
Hotwifing is the act of enjoying sex with other men/women - often without your partner - but keeping your husband informed.
Cuckolding is having sex with others whilst usually humiliating your husband, almost always whilst they’re present.
Or am I wrong?!
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"Cuckolds are usually sub and enjoy humiliation by the wife and bull"
I'd agree but I never assume what someone thinks cuckolding is. I start by asking them what aspects of cuckolding they are into, that way I can get an insight into what they think cuckolding means to them.
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I’ve met my fair share of couples that say we like “Cuckholding’ I can tell you no one meet is alike
Some just watch, some watch and join in, some fully involved from the off not met one where the guy gets the full humiliation scenario |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink."
Perfect response!! |
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 Great explanation of the differences !
Stag/Vixen would apply to us.
However I’m a Tv fully dressed with makeup etc. Meeting other TVs for threesomes.
I wonder what that would make my wife and I ?
Apart from very lucky of course !!! xxx |
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By *xxxMan
over a year ago
Bedford & Chester |
"
While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink."
This is also my understanding and couldn't have explained any better. The main thing for me, as a single guy, is that I find out what the couples interests and boundaries are and then respect them. I appreciate that I'm being invited into share their fantasies. Some may now know the terminology but a little effort before a meet can mean its more pleasurable for everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We I guess fit into hotwife (feel free to correct me) I like to share wife and we all fuck at same time. Cockolds tend let wife fuck one on one with a bull then clean/fuck/humiliation/reclaimed depending on flavour of kink."
I think that my boyfriend wants us to do a bit of both |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
" Great explanation of the differences !
Stag/Vixen would apply to us.
However I’m a Tv fully dressed with makeup etc. Meeting other TVs for threesomes.
I wonder what that would make my wife and I ?
Apart from very lucky of course !!! xxx "
Extremely lucky I would say. My ideal couple would be an fem n TV. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"I've just seen a profile sharing this podcast, which although a little long and tedious at times, does explain the differences between hotwife, cuckold, stag/vixen dynamics -
https://www.keysandanklets.com/episodes/5
C"
Probably our profile. We've commented plenty over the years but yes that episode is great for those interested in the definitions and differences.
Op, just a heads up, the term hotwife isn't determined by the females looks, it's determined by the 'couples' actions and how their play dynamic is. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"I've just seen a profile sharing this podcast, which although a little long and tedious at times, does explain the differences between hotwife, cuckold, stag/vixen dynamics -
https://www.keysandanklets.com/episodes/5
C
Probably our profile. We've commented plenty over the years but yes that episode is great for those interested in the definitions and differences.
Op, just a heads up, the term hotwife isn't determined by the females looks, it's determined by the 'couples' actions and how their play dynamic is. "
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"While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink."
There is the correct definition right there x |
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"While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink."
Great reply. It is why, I like hotwife and stag/vixen, although cuckold, it is great when you know the hubby will get his steaming reclaim see. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Always interesting reading these threads. Let’s not forget some couples will decide to switch between the two (or more variations) "
Indeed!
Same in the fetish scene where people can be sub / dom / switch
The truth is there will be 000s of permutations and individual kinks. While labels are restrictive, they do provide an initial filter to help guide the right combos together. |
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By *atinocoupleCouple
over a year ago
SF, NY, London (in that order) |
"Always interesting reading these threads. Let’s not forget some couples will decide to switch between the two (or more variations)
Indeed!
Same in the fetish scene where people can be sub / dom / switch
The truth is there will be 000s of permutations and individual kinks. While labels are restrictive, they do provide an initial filter to help guide the right combos together."
100% agreed, and need to be discussed to ensure mutual understanding/boundaries/consent/maximal pleasure ! |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Always interesting reading these threads. Let’s not forget some couples will decide to switch between the two (or more variations)
Indeed!
Same in the fetish scene where people can be sub / dom / switch
The truth is there will be 000s of permutations and individual kinks. While labels are restrictive, they do provide an initial filter to help guide the right combos together."
By way of an example...
A few years back we knew a couple where the male was a cuckold but his/their particular kink involved being cucked by a couple not a single guy (as far as we are aware they rarely met single guys).
He would chauffeur us out for the night. Fetch us drinks/snacks at their home or if we were out he would wait in the car while we went for drinks/food (and pick up the bill!) Sometimes he would have to sit in the car or downstairs while we had sex with his wife and would be allowed up to “clean up”. Sometimes as a “reward” he would be allowed (by her) to be in the room while we had sex, normally caged but still fully dressed and kneeling in the corner, sometimes facing the wall.
This chap was the CEO of a major company. Very powerful in vanilla life. Got off on full abdication of power during sex scenarios. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
...to add
We were never verbally or physically abusive to the husband. The kink was to treat him like a member of staff, dismissive and matter of fact like he simply didn’t matter. As if we were all terribly important and he was just there to do our bidding like a subservient butler.
He never truly explained, nor did we ask, why that was his kink beyond once his wife told us he got bored with people sucking up to him and kissing his ass in vanilla/work life. |
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It's a mixed bag for me and depends on the couple's wants and needs.
Primarily I enjoy the feeling of taking another man's wife and rubbing in his face the fact that she wants me over him, it's a huge ego boost and very erotic.
I do enjoy humiliating the cuck, though I prefer if the wife joins in with me as I feel her addition to it adds so much more to the humiliation.
Like I said though this depends on the couple, if they're after mainly sex or expect respect from the bull to the cuck then I'm happy to do that.
I think the most important aspect of being a bull is flexibility, at the end of the day I've been invited into a couple's marriage and should do my best to accommodate to their needs and wants. If I get to humiliate a husband then I only get to do so because they both want me to.
"What would be interesting is to hear an honest account from the males (bulls) who like meeting cuckold couples. What do YOU get out if it? Do you enjoy the sense of power? Do you enjoy humiliating the husband? Why?
It’s all kink so just as interesting to hear the other POV."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is the stag\vixen play scenario seen as the same as hotwifing?
"
For us the answer would be a definite yes as this is how we like to play but I'm sure others might disagree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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they really cant be pigeon holed and people should stop trying too ... yes theres a basic principal or set up in both the rest is down to the individaul couples and guys should stop assuming or follow what google or porn film say and treat each couple as individauls ... ask thee couple what they are into not some stereotype .... does make me laught when guys think the men are weak in either relationships tho or they think the relationship is on a downwer .... nothing stronger than a cuckold or hotwife couple |
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"they really cant be pigeon holed and people should stop trying too ... yes theres a basic principal or set up in both the rest is down to the individaul couples and guys should stop assuming or follow what google or porn film say and treat each couple as individauls ... ask thee couple what they are into not some stereotype .... does make me laught when guys think the men are weak in either relationships tho or they think the relationship is on a downwer .... nothing stronger than a cuckold or hotwife couple"
so true |
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"While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink."
This is pretty much how we understand it too and we identify as stag/vixen in this list. No end of guys ruin any chances they have with first mail on here though by assuming we’re cuckold or addressing only one of us. |
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i think the big thing is your definition of cuckold, many guys on here seem to think that cuckold is a sissy, wimp hubby there to be humiliated and abused as they use the wife.
i like to share my wife, she enjoys the majority of our experiences, i basically hand her over to another guy then sit back to watch/take pics our fun comes later after we get home and i get to take her back
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"they really cant be pigeon holed and people should stop trying too ... yes theres a basic principal or set up in both the rest is down to the individaul couples and guys should stop assuming or follow what google or porn film say and treat each couple as individauls ... ask thee couple what they are into not some stereotype .... does make me laught when guys think the men are weak in either relationships tho or they think the relationship is on a downwer .... nothing stronger than a cuckold or hotwife couple "
Exactly this. We like the cuckquean thing bit it's not a good term for what we enjoy. Wife absolutely loves me being with other women, with or without her there. It's how we started swinging. At the same time shes also bisexual and enjoys when we do full swap with other couples aa well. Just as I enjoy seeing her with other men or women or hearing about it afterwards.
Theres nothing in our relationship that makes either of us "weak" but some individuals on here in the forums do have that assumption.
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"While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink."
This clarification is quite helpful!!! |
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From my own experiences with friends in both camps here, taking time to find out the others wants/ needs/ desires etc has always been a tremendous benefit.
It makes the potential fun just that little bit more exciting for all parties, and if a follow up meeting does occur, well the knowledge and experience gained thus far is invaluable.... For all the right reasons. |
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"While there are probably hundreds of permutations reflecting individual kinks, I believe there are three broad classifications:
Cuckold - generally involves some form of humiliation of the male partner/husband where they are “forced” to “endure” their female partner enjoying sex with another man. It renders the husband/male partner “powerless” in the sexual situation and the wife/female partner has full control.***
Hotwife - this generally involves the female meeting men other than her partner for sex but with his full consent. No power games present here.
Stag/Vixen - this generally involves the couple meeting a male/men for threesomes/moresomes where the stag (husband/male partner) will watch and most likely join in. There is definitely no humiliation in this dynamic (and the male will often be classed as an alpha).
It is really important to understand these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
***a lot of men meeting cuckold couples mistakingly believe the male is weak, unable to perform or satisfy their female partner, or that the humiliation continues outside of the sexual context. Often (not always) the male cuckold is quite powerful/successful in their vanilla life but it is the abdication of that power that is the turn on/kink.
This clarification is quite helpful!!! "
I would echo this statement; I’ve always thought that ‘hotwifing’ involved the husband/partner enjoying watching his wife with others and eventually joining in. Therefore, I have always said that we are keen to try the ‘Hotwife’ scenario, but the comments above suggest it’s the ‘Stag and Vixen’ scenario that we’re actually interested in. Thanks. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"they really cant be pigeon holed and people should stop trying too ... yes theres a basic principal or set up in both the rest is down to the individaul couples and guys should stop assuming or follow what google or porn film say and treat each couple as individauls ... ask thee couple what they are into not some stereotype .... does make me laught when guys think the men are weak in either relationships tho or they think the relationship is on a downwer .... nothing stronger than a cuckold or hotwife couple"
If life was simple and there was all the time and patience in the world I would agree. However, as said previously, I think labels are a helpful shorthand at that initial browsing profiles stage. Absolutely if someone catches your eye then you need to discuss their specific kinks. But initially it helps to stop wasting people’s time to give some guidance with relatively well established labels. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"It’s all about reading the profile, working out what people want and respecting it… shouldn’t be too complicated"
oh come on, we all know that a huge proportion of people never bother reading profiles! They should. They don’t! |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"i think the big thing is your definition of cuckold, many guys on here seem to think that cuckold is a sissy, wimp hubby there to be humiliated and abused as they use the wife.
i like to share my wife, she enjoys the majority of our experiences, i basically hand her over to another guy then sit back to watch/take pics our fun comes later after we get home and i get to take her back
"
I suspect many people would say what you describe is not cuckold. If there is no humiliation involved and you don’t join in to make it a threesome but just watch, then that is closer to a variety of hotwifing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"they really cant be pigeon holed and people should stop trying too ... yes theres a basic principal or set up in both the rest is down to the individaul couples and guys should stop assuming or follow what google or porn film say and treat each couple as individauls ... ask thee couple what they are into not some stereotype .... does make me laught when guys think the men are weak in either relationships tho or they think the relationship is on a downwer .... nothing stronger than a cuckold or hotwife couple
If life was simple and there was all the time and patience in the world I would agree. However, as said previously, I think labels are a helpful shorthand at that initial browsing profiles stage. Absolutely if someone catches your eye then you need to discuss their specific kinks. But initially it helps to stop wasting people’s time to give some guidance with relatively well established labels."
as i said ''yes theres a basic principal or set up'' ie cuckold or hotwife but thats where it ends no two couple's are or will be the same  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and were the hell did every cuckold couple are into humiliation come from ??? that a modern porn outlook there are 100s of cuckold couples that dont humiliate .... definition of cuckold = to seed another mans wife taken from how the cuckoo bird steals other birds nest ..thats it plain and simple and as basic as it gets |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"and were the hell did every cuckold couple are into humiliation come from ??? that a modern porn outlook there are 100s of cuckold couples that dont humiliate .... definition of cuckold = to seed another mans wife taken from how the cuckoo bird steals other birds nest ..thats it plain and simple and as basic as it gets"
Language and definitions evolve. Gay used to mean happy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"and were the hell did every cuckold couple are into humiliation come from ??? that a modern porn outlook there are 100s of cuckold couples that dont humiliate .... definition of cuckold = to seed another mans wife taken from how the cuckoo bird steals other birds nest ..thats it plain and simple and as basic as it gets
Language and definitions evolve. Gay used to mean happy!"
is not the answer there are people trying to make it there own see this many times with swinging they get hold of something then think they can make all the rules but they fail .. cuckold is what it is a basic senario that people add to but to try and tell others they are not a cuckold couple because there no humilation ??? is a joke most cuckold couples i know dont use humiliation most groups dont either and aa a cuckold couple who do use humiliation we are often the odd ones out ...
also the opinions of the forums are such a tiny tiny piece of the puzzle as most people on the site never use the forums..
cuckolding is a very simple thing when stripped down the rest is what we as couples add cuckold as a meaning does not change what we add as couples do....
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"and were the hell did every cuckold couple are into humiliation come from ??? that a modern porn outlook there are 100s of cuckold couples that dont humiliate .... definition of cuckold = to seed another mans wife taken from how the cuckoo bird steals other birds nest ..thats it plain and simple and as basic as it gets"
Very close to my take on cuckolding. Of the couples that I have met in person most cucks have no interest in being humiliated by me and when there is a desire for humiliation their turn on is for it to be directed at them by their wife. For me personally porn like humiliation comes across as very pantomime/fake and does nothing for me. For me were there is humiliation the turn on is when its subtle and implied. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"and were the hell did every cuckold couple are into humiliation come from ??? that a modern porn outlook there are 100s of cuckold couples that dont humiliate .... definition of cuckold = to seed another mans wife taken from how the cuckoo bird steals other birds nest ..thats it plain and simple and as basic as it gets
Language and definitions evolve. Gay used to mean happy!
is not the answer there are people trying to make it there own see this many times with swinging they get hold of something then think they can make all the rules but they fail .. cuckold is what it is a basic senario that people add to but to try and tell others they are not a cuckold couple because there no humilation ??? is a joke most cuckold couples i know dont use humiliation most groups dont either and aa a cuckold couple who do use humiliation we are often the odd ones out ...
also the opinions of the forums are such a tiny tiny piece of the puzzle as most people on the site never use the forums..
cuckolding is a very simple thing when stripped down the rest is what we as couples add cuckold as a meaning does not change what we add as couples do....
"
From a purest language pov you are of course correct. But as I say things evolve and language/words adapt over time. Indeed dictionary definitions change over time to accommodate slang and alternative usage (think “bad” or “sick”).
I (Mr) have been active on the swinging scene since 1999 and Mrs B for 15yrs and have seen things (inc language) change over that time.
We didn’t actually use any terminology like that in our profile until relatively recently. We clearly spell out what we like (though many people don’t bother to read of course LOL). However, it has proven helpful to say we are not “cuckold” simply because there IS widespread belief nowadays that this is focused on humiliation of the male partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"and were the hell did every cuckold couple are into humiliation come from ??? that a modern porn outlook there are 100s of cuckold couples that dont humiliate .... definition of cuckold = to seed another mans wife taken from how the cuckoo bird steals other birds nest ..thats it plain and simple and as basic as it gets
Language and definitions evolve. Gay used to mean happy!
is not the answer there are people trying to make it there own see this many times with swinging they get hold of something then think they can make all the rules but they fail .. cuckold is what it is a basic senario that people add to but to try and tell others they are not a cuckold couple because there no humilation ??? is a joke most cuckold couples i know dont use humiliation most groups dont either and aa a cuckold couple who do use humiliation we are often the odd ones out ...
also the opinions of the forums are such a tiny tiny piece of the puzzle as most people on the site never use the forums..
cuckolding is a very simple thing when stripped down the rest is what we as couples add cuckold as a meaning does not change what we add as couples do....
From a purest language pov you are of course correct. But as I say things evolve and language/words adapt over time. Indeed dictionary definitions change over time to accommodate slang and alternative usage (think “bad” or “sick”).
I (Mr) have been active on the swinging scene since 1999 and Mrs B for 15yrs and have seen things (inc language) change over that time.
We didn’t actually use any terminology like that in our profile until relatively recently. We clearly spell out what we like (though many people don’t bother to read of course LOL). However, it has proven helpful to say we are not “cuckold” simply because there IS widespread belief nowadays that this is focused on humiliation of the male partner."
well guess we will agree to disagree like your selves we've been on the scene along time (28yrs) but unlike yourself we are a cuckold couple and know alot of cuckold couples and from our side of thing we are the rarer of the couples ie like humiliation most cuckold couples we know and chat to do NOT use humiliation as cuckold couples ... most the couples we know are long term cuckold couples to even on the other cuckold forums (if you join) youll see most dont ... mrs xx |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"and were the hell did every cuckold couple are into humiliation come from ??? that a modern porn outlook there are 100s of cuckold couples that dont humiliate .... definition of cuckold = to seed another mans wife taken from how the cuckoo bird steals other birds nest ..thats it plain and simple and as basic as it gets
Language and definitions evolve. Gay used to mean happy!
is not the answer there are people trying to make it there own see this many times with swinging they get hold of something then think they can make all the rules but they fail .. cuckold is what it is a basic senario that people add to but to try and tell others they are not a cuckold couple because there no humilation ??? is a joke most cuckold couples i know dont use humiliation most groups dont either and aa a cuckold couple who do use humiliation we are often the odd ones out ...
also the opinions of the forums are such a tiny tiny piece of the puzzle as most people on the site never use the forums..
cuckolding is a very simple thing when stripped down the rest is what we as couples add cuckold as a meaning does not change what we add as couples do....
From a purest language pov you are of course correct. But as I say things evolve and language/words adapt over time. Indeed dictionary definitions change over time to accommodate slang and alternative usage (think “bad” or “sick”).
I (Mr) have been active on the swinging scene since 1999 and Mrs B for 15yrs and have seen things (inc language) change over that time.
We didn’t actually use any terminology like that in our profile until relatively recently. We clearly spell out what we like (though many people don’t bother to read of course LOL). However, it has proven helpful to say we are not “cuckold” simply because there IS widespread belief nowadays that this is focused on humiliation of the male partner.
well guess we will agree to disagree like your selves we've been on the scene along time (28yrs) but unlike yourself we are a cuckold couple and know alot of cuckold couples and from our side of thing we are the rarer of the couples ie like humiliation most cuckold couples we know and chat to do NOT use humiliation as cuckold couples ... most the couples we know are long term cuckold couples to even on the other cuckold forums (if you join) youll see most dont ... mrs xx"
I don’t think we are disagreeing!
Any husband/male sharing their female partner is, strictly speaking, a cuckold. The point is that within that there are many permutations based on individual kinks and preferences.
And because of both that AND the swinging world around us changing with terminology evolving AND many newbies first exposure to cuckold being modern day porn (that has a humiliation bias) then different terms are starting to prove helpful as a short hand to explain preferences.
As said before, what really matters is people discuss preferences and kinks with prospective playmates to avoid mistakes or embarrassment. But a new(ish) label that enables some initial filtering is pretty useful. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
P.S. @foxy n hubs I am intrigued though...
Apart from yourselves where the humiliation side is clearly your preference, have any of the other cuckold couples you know, for whom humiliation is not their thing, ever encountered any initial misunderstandings around preferences with their prospective playmates? Ie have they been contacted by bulls looking for couples who are actually more like yourselves?
(Edit for typos grrrr) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not an expert... But to add my limited understanding
I always through true cuckolding was when a man is raising another's offspring (eg very close to then cuckoo)
Outside of this, I though Freud started using it on a way of a man playinh with the fear of loosing his wife to another.
I always compare that to HW which is almost an arrogance your wife will come back.
My two pence anyway. Not a linguist nor a experienced swinger ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"P.S. @foxy n hubs I am intrigued though...
Apart from yourselves where the humiliation side is clearly your preference, have any of the other cuckold couples you know, for whom humiliation is not their thing, ever encountered any initial misunderstandings around preferences with their prospective playmates? Ie have they been contacted by bulls looking for couples who are actually more like yourselves?
(Edit for typos grrrr)"
well id say most cuckold couples that we know dont look for bulls either they tend to look for assertive guys who will fit or like what they are looking for we follow that path too.....
as looking for a bull is almost impossible as any guy will call himself a bull just to get a shag not saying there are not any good bull cause there clearly are and we've met a few but most bulls wont say they are a bull as they see the crap out there too..
misunderstandings are sorted out very early in the chatting its so easy to rid of the wannabes and dreamers but thats the problem too for most cuckold couples its rare to find guys whom understand what a cuckold couple wants at a quick guess if i had 100 messages over a few day the chances are we will be lucky if just one guy is real...
what guys need to realise is most cuckold couples play very close to the hotwife line where they never get to meet the guy and all the cuckolding is done when he has gone this is thee number one way of cuckolding out there then its a sliding scale all the way to the extreme
it does not matter what single fuys think its not for them to set the rules within a cuckold relationship most guys will watch cuckold porn and think thats cuckolding for some couples that may be true but for most it wont ..
real bulls are clever and will ask whats wanted and will fit into if they are interested wannabes will just shout what they are going to do or just say yes to everything
most of our meets are via a cuckold forum its a real shame as there needs to be a seperate section on fab for it
we are no experts im just saying from our point of view and people we know here and elsewhere ...onething for sure cuckolding is not to be pigeon holed as its too complext too be.
hotwife / bi couple for 22years
cuckold couple for 5years going on 6
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there a difference between the 2?
A hot wife obviously is a good looking lady whose man wants to share but isn't cuckolding the same thing? "
From my experience from being a ball a Cuckold is someone who sub and sits watches a ball playing with the hot wife and does what his told by his wife and the bull! Like cleaning up the hot wife’s cream pie ect |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Is there a difference between the 2?
A hot wife obviously is a good looking lady whose man wants to share but isn't cuckolding the same thing?
From my experience from being a ball a Cuckold is someone who sub and sits watches a ball playing with the hot wife and does what his told by his wife and the bull! Like cleaning up the hot wife’s cream pie ect "
Surely being a ball is a whole other kink right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there a difference between the 2?
A hot wife obviously is a good looking lady whose man wants to share but isn't cuckolding the same thing?
From my experience from being a ball a Cuckold is someone who sub and sits watches a ball playing with the hot wife and does what his told by his wife and the bull! Like cleaning up the hot wife’s cream pie ect
Surely being a ball is a whole other kink right "
Yes it’s a fantastic feeling being a bull… especially when the hot wife is telling that Cuckold how much pleasure she is getting from the bull   |
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By *igh PinkCouple
over a year ago
Manchester |
It means different things to different people for us with cuckold it is me giving my wife to someone else to service her weather that is me watching or on there own, my wife has been picked up from home and taken out for an evening my pleasure is wondering what is going on them being given the full details later but pour cuckold forms various aspects |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...to add
We were never verbally or physically abusive to the husband. The kink was to treat him like a member of staff, dismissive and matter of fact like he simply didn’t matter. As if we were all terribly important and he was just there to do our bidding like a subservient butler.
He never truly explained, nor did we ask, why that was his kink beyond once his wife told us he got bored with people sucking up to him and kissing his ass in vanilla/work life."
That’s pretty awesomely hot there |
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