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Club play room etiquette
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know if you want privacy you can go home, find a hotel or lock the playroom door in a club. Not all clubs have lockable doors. So, In cases where the door can’t be locked but is wedged shut or barred in someway how do you proceed?
If you’re in the room, trying to enjoy a ‘private’ sexy time do you have the right to ask/tell people to leave the room if they’ve barged in (because after all the door wasn't locked)
If you barge the door on a room and the folks in there are trying to enjoy themselves discretely, do you leave when asked or stay as the door wasn't locked (and thats the point of not having locked doors on a play room so anyone who wants to can walk in and watch).
As I said i fully get that if you want true privacy you find a playroom with a locked door. (Or go home/hotel).
I would just like to know different folks views on this…? |
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On my last club visit (Club f), I politely sat in a corner and watched three people enjoy themselves in a ffm in an open area. They didn't even know I was there until they'd finished, at which point I thanked them for the show   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first went to a club the areas were explained to me. Some were couples only or invited to join couples. Some equipment had white lines around that you could watch from behind but not join in without an invitation. There was a glory hole, dark room and grope room. The closed door room had a two way mirror so you could be viewed but not see who is watching. If you want "total privacy" then a club might not be the best place.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With clubs there is never any guarantee of play but if you can't even watch that would effect single male attendance and that's where the clubs make their money. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If there isn't a lock on the door, I don't think they should prop it shut. If it was supposed to be lockable, it would have a lock.
Gbat "
Why not? If it’s shut means don’t come in. Simple |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Sounds odd, the etiquette in club rooms should be blatantly obvious by the design. You shouldn’t be wedging doors closed
Locked -private
Open - watch, join with permission
Stable door locked - watch
Closed but not locked - asking for confusion ! |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"When I first went to a club the areas were explained to me. Some were couples only or invited to join couples. Some equipment had white lines around that you could watch from behind but not join in without an invitation. There was a glory hole, dark room and grope room. The closed door room had a two way mirror so you could be viewed but not see who is watching. If you want "total privacy" then a club might not be the best place.
"
. That sounds like OP4F you have described in all my time in going the majority following the rules and if a single guy has accidentally stepped over the white line and is asked by the couple to take a step back the guy apologises and takes a step back |
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I’d never purposely go round opening closed doors in clubs.
But I’m of the opinion if you want proper privacy then definitely take it elsewhere or to clubs where doors lock.
I’ve opened dark room doors and started to play only for people to kick off and I thought the doors were closed to keep it dark, as I said, never intentional  xx |
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"On my last club visit (Club f), I politely sat in a corner and watched three people enjoy themselves in a ffm in an open area. They didn't even know I was there until they'd finished, at which point I thanked them for the show "
I have experienced this at one of the kink clubs I go to and it ruined a big part of the evening for me - I had been playing with my companion in a semi removed area but visible for people to see. So far, so good. We have finished our scene and my companion left to get some things. Then this creep comes at me thanking me for the "show" and his sleazy words and sleazy behaviour really threatened to ruin what to me was a beautiful, intimate and special experience made better by knowing that it is in public.
Shoving himself like that in my face and making it all about him was such a shitty thing to do. He tried to patronise me after and offer drinks or a taxi home but I was having none of it. Later turned out that this was the last club he was not banned from (probably banned from it as well, I wouldn't be surprised).
There is an etiquette about these things which is watch, by all means but do not draw attention to yourself and do not try to make it about you. Keep your distance and keep your mouth shut, especially just after the scene is finished! People might be needing to come back to themselves, a drink of water or aftercare, not some random stranger shoving themselves in their face 
Striking up a conversation later on, at the bar or something like that is a more appropriate way to engage. For example, later at the same club in another area someone spoke to me in a friendly and respectful manner saying something along the lines of "I know you didn't do it for anyone else" and then made some compliment which felt nice and it was appropriate.
When I go to a club, I want to feel accepted and that is OK to express my sexuality - not to be made to feel weird about what I am doing because some stranger pointedly draws attention to it.
If a door is closed I would say do not even knock, just leave it alone. Fair to try the handle if you are looking for a play space just in case it might have been accidentally closed but quietly.
This is one of the reasons I am reluctant to go to swingers clubs - because they have no Dungeon Monitors and I am afraid of people invading my space or making me feel uncomfortable. |
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Door is one thing, but what about curtains??? A club I go to from time to time has a bed with curtains around it that can be closed if some privacy is wanted. To me, curtains closed meant "please give us some privacy". However, I've seen plenty of people (men mostly) blatantly going to those curtains and not just having a quick peek but opening it wide. What's the point of the curtains then? |
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The places I have been its if anything is closed, then don't go in. A lot of places have a chain across so you can watch but not go in..or like a stable door. But agree with others if it's not open don't go in.
With the "thanking for the show" I don't like that either. Pushing yourself in straight after the scene is gross. I would rather a "Hey I am X nice to meet you, I saw you having some fun earlier" |
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My view is that if a door is closed then you don’t open it. Whether it’s locked or not shouldn’t make a difference. People shouldn’t have to forcibly keep you out, the closed door should be indication enough that you’re not welcome.
I’ve had some really bad experiences of strangers opening doors and coming into rooms where I was playing with my partner/friends and helping themselves to my body without asking. Really unpleasant. Watching is one thing, but touching is another. I think that’s the reason a lot of people close doors, it’s not because they don’t want to be seen it’s because they don’t want to be touched unexpectedly. |
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"On my last club visit (Club f), I politely sat in a corner and watched three people enjoy themselves in a ffm in an open area. They didn't even know I was there until they'd finished, at which point I thanked them for the show "
In an open area that’s fine, they should expect people will be watching. If you’d crept into a room that would be different. |
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"My view is that if a door is closed then you don’t open it. Whether it’s locked or not shouldn’t make a difference. People shouldn’t have to forcibly keep you out, the closed door should be indication enough that you’re not welcome.
I’ve had some really bad experiences of strangers opening doors and coming into rooms where I was playing with my partner/friends and helping themselves to my body without asking. Really unpleasant. Watching is one thing, but touching is another. I think that’s the reason a lot of people close doors, it’s not because they don’t want to be seen it’s because they don’t want to be touched unexpectedly. "
I have had unwelcome touch and play before. It's not cool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree... Door or curtain closed is a clear sign that whoever is using the space would like some privacy. In the same way I would not just go trying to push open a wc cubical door that was closed!
From experience it does come across as very aggressive to try and force your way into a room, sadly perhaps something more likely with single guys thinking they are somehow owed a show? |
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"On my last club visit (Club f), I politely sat in a corner and watched three people enjoy themselves in a ffm in an open area. They didn't even know I was there until they'd finished, at which point I thanked them for the show
I have experienced this at one of the kink clubs I go to and it ruined a big part of the evening for me - I had been playing with my companion in a semi removed area but visible for people to see. So far, so good. We have finished our scene and my companion left to get some things. Then this creep comes at me thanking me for the "show" and his sleazy words and sleazy behaviour really threatened to ruin what to me was a beautiful, intimate and special experience made better by knowing that it is in public.
Shoving himself like that in my face and making it all about him was such a shitty thing to do. He tried to patronise me after and offer drinks or a taxi home but I was having none of it. Later turned out that this was the last club he was not banned from (probably banned from it as well, I wouldn't be surprised).
There is an etiquette about these things which is watch, by all means but do not draw attention to yourself and do not try to make it about you. Keep your distance and keep your mouth shut, especially just after the scene is finished! People might be needing to come back to themselves, a drink of water or aftercare, not some random stranger shoving themselves in their face
Striking up a conversation later on, at the bar or something like that is a more appropriate way to engage. For example, later at the same club in another area someone spoke to me in a friendly and respectful manner saying something along the lines of "I know you didn't do it for anyone else" and then made some compliment which felt nice and it was appropriate.
When I go to a club, I want to feel accepted and that is OK to express my sexuality - not to be made to feel weird about what I am doing because some stranger pointedly draws attention to it.
If a door is closed I would say do not even knock, just leave it alone. Fair to try the handle if you are looking for a play space just in case it might have been accidentally closed but quietly.
This is one of the reasons I am reluctant to go to swingers clubs - because they have no Dungeon Monitors and I am afraid of people invading my space or making me feel uncomfortable. "
This was a clear open space, big round bed in the middle of the room, surrounded by sitting areas, and open to all. When they realised I was there, and I thanked them for the show, the guy said "Give us five minutes and we'll start again", I said it was probably time for me to move on.....
I actually went down to the dungeon and watched a Dom put his sub through her paces, tied to a post and teased until she gushed all over the floor. Again, I watched from a polite, respectful distance in an open area. |
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Unless in an open space or an area/event designated for voyeurs...I would think you always have the right to ask anyone to leave a play room if you don't want them there.
If a door is closed (not even locked) it's only polite to knock and ask. It's called consent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On my last club visit (Club f), I politely sat in a corner and watched three people enjoy themselves in a ffm in an open area. They didn't even know I was there until they'd finished, at which point I thanked them for the show
I have experienced this at one of the kink clubs I go to and it ruined a big part of the evening for me - I had been playing with my companion in a semi removed area but visible for people to see. So far, so good. We have finished our scene and my companion left to get some things. Then this creep comes at me thanking me for the "show" and his sleazy words and sleazy behaviour really threatened to ruin what to me was a beautiful, intimate and special experience made better by knowing that it is in public.
Shoving himself like that in my face and making it all about him was such a shitty thing to do. He tried to patronise me after and offer drinks or a taxi home but I was having none of it. Later turned out that this was the last club he was not banned from (probably banned from it as well, I wouldn't be surprised).
There is an etiquette about these things which is watch, by all means but do not draw attention to yourself and do not try to make it about you. Keep your distance and keep your mouth shut, especially just after the scene is finished! People might be needing to come back to themselves, a drink of water or aftercare, not some random stranger shoving themselves in their face
Striking up a conversation later on, at the bar or something like that is a more appropriate way to engage. For example, later at the same club in another area someone spoke to me in a friendly and respectful manner saying something along the lines of "I know you didn't do it for anyone else" and then made some compliment which felt nice and it was appropriate.
When I go to a club, I want to feel accepted and that is OK to express my sexuality - not to be made to feel weird about what I am doing because some stranger pointedly draws attention to it.
If a door is closed I would say do not even knock, just leave it alone. Fair to try the handle if you are looking for a play space just in case it might have been accidentally closed but quietly.
This is one of the reasons I am reluctant to go to swingers clubs - because they have no Dungeon Monitors and I am afraid of people invading my space or making me feel uncomfortable. "
Omg totally get this and experienced that type of person.... Thank you for sharing  |
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The way I see it if an un-lockable door is closed you either stay out or at the very most pop a head in and see if your presence is welcomed or not before fully entering the room. Of course with a tactful skill for reading what's going on and the mood. With the later in our experience some people don't want anyone or everyone in but are happy to be watched/joined by the right people should they appear.
I would extend a similar vain to even open public club play. Please gauge an intrest before you get right up close and helping yourself. Just because people like to be watched and/or have others join in doesn't mean they anyone or everyone. Public doesn't mean free for all per se. Some people in clubs are so selfish, rude and pushy. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"If there isn't a lock on the door, I don't think they should prop it shut. If it was supposed to be lockable, it would have a lock.
Gbat "
That makes no sense to me.
Why would there be doors in the first place if people can just ignore them being closed? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The etiquette is simple you respect other people and their own choice in a club. You can pretty much safely say that you don't touch or do anything without gaining permission first and closed door or a closed curtain is implying that the occupants do not want to be disturbed or interfered with and want some privicy so leave them in peace.
A open door you can look in and should seek if it's OK to enter be it for watching or more?
The same rules applies to all M,MF & F but in our experience you don't have any problems in clubs or club nights that don't allow single guys sadly and in one's that do its generally the men who spoil our or others night.
We are not against single men but to be honest have both seen and been the victim of some pritty appalling behaviour from them including having a door forced open and Mr Furvert being threatened for trying to protect me.
Remember that a club is for all to have an enjoyable experience so be respectful, be aware that the way you behave effects everyone and the atmosphere
Please swing responsabily |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I’ve had some really bad experiences of strangers opening doors and coming into rooms where I was playing with my partner/friends and helping themselves to my body without asking. Really unpleasant. Watching is one thing, but touching is another. I think that’s the reason a lot of people close doors, it’s not because they don’t want to be seen it’s because they don’t want to be touched unexpectedly. "
Yeah you are so right on that one, you want to be watched go for a playroom with a viewing window you don't get disturbed
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Really good thread this.
For me if the door is shut it’s no entry, simple as that. End of.
If the door is open (and it isn’t a couples only room) I would enter and just watch. If I’m asked to leave I apologise and leave immediately.
This is just basic swinging etiquette as far as I’m concerned.
However it must be difficult for a couple who want to be watched and touched but if the door is open and someone acts like a tool they then have to so their moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think as others have said here, communication and consent is key!
Understanding that people like to play in lots of different ways too... Some might like to be watched, but not up for others touching, and some might be desperately looking to start some group fun... Ask and find out!
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"My view is that if a door is closed then you don’t open it. Whether it’s locked or not shouldn’t make a difference. People shouldn’t have to forcibly keep you out, the closed door should be indication enough that you’re not welcome.
I’ve had some really bad experiences of strangers opening doors and coming into rooms where I was playing with my partner/friends and helping themselves to my body without asking. Really unpleasant. Watching is one thing, but touching is another. I think that’s the reason a lot of people close doors, it’s not because they don’t want to be seen it’s because they don’t want to be touched unexpectedly.
I have had unwelcome touch and play before. It's not cool."
It’s really not. When I’m playing I want to be able to really get into it and not to keep my eye out for a stranger who might sneakily finger me. I don’t care who watches, but I feel like the only way to be safe is close the door. Sad really. |
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they should know the rules 