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Sex without hubby
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By *osine OP Couple
over a year ago
Weston-Super-Mare |
So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?"
You could involve your other half by video or a phone call at playing moments - maybe him sitting in the room or in another one to watch or listen...
I think that's pretty hot, tbf  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I love the fact some guys share their wives, I personally couldn't do it, but surely you BOTH have to enjoy it! If your not comfortable then don't do it I'd say, but I'm not here to preach at all, each to thier own 
Have a great day everyone!
Ricky |
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By *ita7Man
over a year ago
Kettering |
I am currently in that situation where the lady of the cpl now meets me alone. I often arrange surprises for her by having one or two of my fab friends join in too. They both love it & so do I! |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
Morals are an essentially an artificial imposition, often designed to make us feel guilty about doing things we enjoy because they don’t fit religious teachings about ownership and agency over our own bodies and the pleasures they can give us. Not accepting conventional morality frees us from these historic influences.
If you both enjoy what you are doing, keep doing it. If you don’t, then stop. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?"
If hubby is encouraging you, it’s not morally wrong. |
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"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?"
So I would question why you think it is morally wrong. I assume sex whilst hubby is present is fine in your eyes.
So you could use logic to challenge your assumption.
If you were having sex and hubby was in the room would that be OK?
If he left the room for a drink or to use the toilet, would you need to stop or would that be OK?
If that is OK, then what if he decided to take some fresh air for a few minutes outside?
You can see where I am going, at what point do you draw the line, were in your head his lack of physical presence moves it from being morally OK to morally not OK.
Bunny went out on Saturday on her own, had a fab time and then came back. I knew where she was going and found out who with afterwards. We have agreed do's and don'ts and she kept to those.
So if you have similar boundaries and hubby is OK then the only morality is something arbitrary in your own mind.
However, if that can't be resolved in your own mind then you should not do anything that makes you feel bad. |
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"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?"
Why is it morally wrong if everyone is consenting and enjoying?
Unconventional to the “norm” maybe but not morally wrong
Don’t worry about the labels, if you and your husband are happy and not hurting others then enjoy all you like |
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"But you have dos and don’t but didn’t say wether you allow your wife to fuck other men "
That's because our do's and don'ts will not apply to their circumstances.
Just because we find it acceptable it does not mean that they should have the exact same view.
We all have our lines, my point was to try and help her use salami slicing approach to question why her line is where it is, or whether she can move that line in her own mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?"
When we first started meeting there would be things I would enjoy in the moment and then feel guilty about later. Accepting you can enjoy experiences and sensations that others may find questionable is part of the journey. The main thing is you both agree what is acceptable between you, safe in the knowledge that you are doing this together, no one else opinions or values matter.
Working out that together doesn’t have to mean physically together in every circumstance is also a bit of a personal journey. Finding ways to connect you both, like being in the same room, watching on video, sending messages etc...all things you can try. Ultimately you’ll find something that you like or you won’t and you’ll move onto something else, just have fun exploring!!
Tabitha x |
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"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?
When we first started meeting there would be things I would enjoy in the moment and then feel guilty about later. Accepting you can enjoy experiences and sensations that others may find questionable is part of the journey. The main thing is you both agree what is acceptable between you, safe in the knowledge that you are doing this together, no one else opinions or values matter.
Working out that together doesn’t have to mean physically together in every circumstance is also a bit of a personal journey. Finding ways to connect you both, like being in the same room, watching on video, sending messages etc...all things you can try. Ultimately you’ll find something that you like or you won’t and you’ll move onto something else, just have fun exploring!!
Tabitha x"
Well said.  |
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It’s not morally wrong .. that’s the bottom line. If you happy, he’s happy .. it’s your relationship and doesn’t mean it has to fit any norm . My fella would get off on it too ! Jealousy gets some men off as much as the act . Don’t judge yourself .. as long as you loved and happy x |
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Morals are for you and you alone to specify.
We never went through that decision making as we started on the lifestyle within days of meeting, so it didn't need to be addressed.
It just seemed natural for Becky to sleep with other guys if she wanted to. Difficult to explain unless you've been there...!
Do what you both feel comfortable with. |
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By *C7995XCouple
over a year ago
London |
"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?"
Lee would like me to do this. But don’t do anything ur not comfortable with. |
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I get turned on if my wife tells me about sexy exploits with other men.
But after the first couple of years her feelings on that changed and she found that she didn't enjoy talking about it
So by and large she doesn't. If you don't enjoy it, don't do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would absolutely love my wife to stray but she has eyes for me only.
I'm very glad she is wired like that but how I would love to have another man make her cum.
There is an element of deep seated bicuriousness in the feeling though which I'm yet to figure out completely, along with some inferiority complex! |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
Probably NOT the most common male fantasy.
I have tonnes of fantasies and this isn't even in the top ten.
(I appreciate my sample size is only one and that will reduce accuracy of results. How big was your sample size?)
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?"
ive been playing this way for many many years and i would not do it if it was not 100% right for me or him or us you have to feel 100% or things may start to crumble down the line ..
stop doing it until youve both have had a good talk and if then you still feel the same then stop its not for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hotwifing is a thing. I'm one. It's not morally wrong if all parties are consenting, nobody is getting hurt. So whose morals are wrong? The other people that judge that have nothing to do with it?
I have my fun and my husband has his wish list filmed or pictures taken and then I come home and have amazing, incredibly hot reclaiming sex. No morals hurt in the process of this  |
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By *oapy999Man
over a year ago
Southampton |
"Hotwifing is a thing. I'm one. It's not morally wrong if all parties are consenting, nobody is getting hurt. So whose morals are wrong? The other people that judge that have nothing to do with it?
I have my fun and my husband has his wish list filmed or pictures taken and then I come home and have amazing, incredibly hot reclaiming sex. No morals hurt in the process of this "
And I think your should keep doing it again and again xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sounds as though you are not sure about this
if you dont feel its right for you and youre not enjoying dont do it to please someone else after all there are 2 people in a relationship and both need to respect each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hotwifing is a thing. I'm one. It's not morally wrong if all parties are consenting, nobody is getting hurt. So whose morals are wrong? The other people that judge that have nothing to do with it?
I have my fun and my husband has his wish list filmed or pictures taken and then I come home and have amazing, incredibly hot reclaiming sex. No morals hurt in the process of this
And I think your should keep doing it again and again xxxx"
Thanks, I shall continue as long as both husband and I want to  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is something I have struggled with... not so much that it's morally wrong, I think I was more worried about him not wanting it as much as he thinks he does. What if I do it and he's not so happy about it? We took long breaks whilst sorting out head space. Like others have said, it's something that you both have to feel comfortable with and want. Communication is vital in these complex relationships.
Just wondering if hubby has built a rapport with the guys you meet? My hubby always has his own chats with the guys and this has really helped with me getting my head round it all and to reassure me that it's a good thing. Good luck op! |
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You seem like a very nice person OP so you are questioning if what you are doing is right as you don’t want to hurt anyone. You must care deeply about your other half to worry about his feelings
My opinion is lose the guilt, carry on meeting guys and don’t worry. Because swinging isn’t accepted by 95% of society we are nervous about it. We shouldn’t feel like that, it’s a great lifestyle and we aren’t hurting anyone |
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We got into swinging after G talking about a delivery driver at work chatting her up. We talked about it and both agreed for G to meet him for a drink and she ended up having sex with him. She felt so horny but guilty and we talked about it.
2 weeks later they meet again and it was so horny texting and sending pics of all the fun and the after sex was amazing.
We haven't done it since (15 years ago) but have enjoyed the life style since, you just have to do what you both feel comfortable with. |
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By *aveed74Man
over a year ago
a round and a bout Midlands |
"Morals are an essentially an artificial imposition, often designed to make us feel guilty about doing things we enjoy because they don’t fit religious teachings about ownership and agency over our own bodies and the pleasures they can give us. Not accepting conventional morality frees us from these historic influences.
If you both enjoy what you are doing, keep doing it. If you don’t, then stop."
Very astute words |
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By *osine OP Couple
over a year ago
Weston-Super-Mare |
Thank you for responding.
I am an extremely horny person but also an extremely faithful person, I can not lie it causes to much anxiety.
I think a lot of this comes from the fact that I have grown up being told (as most of us have) that a relationship is just one and one...not one going off and fucking others as that is wrong
We both communicate really well, we can talk and listen, its perfect.
I truly enjoy his reaction when I come home, but theres that annoying voice in my head that tells me its wrong and I shouldn't be doing it.
I do like the idea of hubby chatting to the guys first and building up rapport first. Hubby seems to enjoy the d*unken strangers more though  |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
The people who taught you those ‘rules’ growing up were adults, as you are an adult yourself now.
If they held authority as adults, don’t you have the same authority as an adult yourself now to define the same rules as you see fit?
Just a thought!  |
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Can't deny that I'd love Nicole to do this. But she worries about the impact it could have on us (I don't).
100% the hottest fantasy left to fulfil.
Would always want it arranged properly though, and with well verified guys . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it two way system? Does he meet girl's and couples without you? If so does he feel same as you as guilty or does he not meet others as only like the fantasy and stories of your meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it may be worth exploring why you think its morally wrong and where that comes from, especially if you like the idea.
I feel your conflict on this. I've been there and battled /battling through that. Main reason I'm here ... Lot of people doing similar things which help challenge my view of the world. (Which was formed 30 years ago, without the aid of the internet to see there is a spectrum of world's, and what people show to their friends and family may be different to the world they live in). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's totally normal to feel that way, the first time I went alone without hubby I felt the same. It's hard to switch your way of thinking especially when you've been in a relationship for a long time. Just remember as long as your both happy and trust each other, it will all be fine. If your still feeling that way after a while, just meet as a couple and enjoy it that way instead. Good luck |
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"I often meet guys on my own as hubby loves hearing what I’ve been upto and I get to enjoyed lots of varied sex "
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject I live in Hope with my wife I so want to be her sissy husband to her and her lovers one day my dream may come true
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By *ita7Man
over a year ago
Kettering |
"I am currently in that situation where the lady of the cpl now meets me alone. I often arrange surprises for her by having one or two of my fab friends join in too. They both love it & so do I! "
Meet confirmed for tomorrow after work in MK. First meet in few weeks so it's going to be frantic. She will be prepping today by shaving pussy. Going to look hot looking down & watching my bare cock open her up! |
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Did it alot as Bf was away for university was good fun recording and sometimes having him watch on camera use to love telling him that evening over facetime how I had been naughty.
It's not for everyone though we spoke a lot about it before hand and It felt weird but didn't take long to start enjoying it when I saw my bf's reaction |
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"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?
So I would question why you think it is morally wrong. I assume sex whilst hubby is present is fine in your eyes.
So you could use logic to challenge your assumption.
If you were having sex and hubby was in the room would that be OK?
If he left the room for a drink or to use the toilet, would you need to stop or would that be OK?
If that is OK, then what if he decided to take some fresh air for a few minutes outside?
You can see where I am going, at what point do you draw the line, were in your head his lack of physical presence moves it from being morally OK to morally not OK.
Bunny went out on Saturday on her own, had a fab time and then came back. I knew where she was going and found out who with afterwards. We have agreed do's and don'ts and she kept to those.
So if you have similar boundaries and hubby is OK then the only morality is something arbitrary in your own mind.
However, if that can't be resolved in your own mind then you should not do anything that makes you feel bad. "
As well put a case as could be presented.. It’s all about what you both want, for me (Him) I enjoy my wife having such freedom to do as she pleases and have sex whether I’m present or not. However we still have rules in place and that’s where trust is paramount.
If he wants it then trust he likes and if you like it then no foul. If you’re not happy then he must respect that also |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let guy speak with hubby first.
It's all down to you, I've met couples and have taken the wife alone to a hotel for the night hubby collected her in the morning.
It has always been a very good arrangement and if anything he would ring me to check my availability.
Research is everything, they both spoke to me for a while until satisfied, on Skype and phone a few times and first meet he just watched us both then she told him to leave us.
I guess nerves play a part, your introducing someone into your life so not always smooth sailing.
I've been lucky, I always view it as she's not yours just for the moment and it's good to hand her back lol.
Good luck to you both |
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Feeling guilty ( even though one should shed off the shackles of societal programming ) may is part of the kink . You got your hubbies consent and be assured he gets hard when thinking of it . Not being in the room but knowing you are surrendering your body to another man’s lust will increase his libido and attainment towards you. Men need to compete , some compete for many women , some compete only for one against many men . Be his sex goddess abs enjoy the ride . After all, swinging has its thrill from doing something naughty , outside the social norms we grew up with . It’s worth another thread to dispute the antroposophic aspects of a free sexuality , however the feeling “guilty” after playing the field makes the reclaim session between spouses after a hotwife night out even hotter . When you come home to your hubby and confess your naughty deeds, driving him wild to reclaim you and make you “his” again - yum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you enjoy it and so does he why worry? We do similar and for us it works.
Its when its done to please only one person that second thoughts shoul be had in our opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, my hubby loves me going off and having sex with other guys then coming home and telling him about it.
I am not sure if I like this, it's hard to explain, I love the sex but hate the feeling that it's morally wrong.
any advice?"
If its moral guidance you're after you're in the wrong place |
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he likes you going out and meeting guys and having great sex, he enjoys hearing about it,, , you like the sex and as for the guys you meet they love it to,, so is it wrong,, in my book no, everyone is getting good stuff from it ,who says its morally wrong, life is about enjoyment and you are bringing this to many guys including your loving husband, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me if my Mrs knew the man and there was a mutual respect and relationship then yes I guess id be happy for her to go alone but not with a stranger or on a first meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We do this quite a lot, when I come back it’s hard to explain as the excitement has faded slightly, best option is to have a hotel and him wait downstairs and that way you can txt him to come up once your both done, that worked better for us x |
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was even better when we saw eachother again 