FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Finding genuine....
Finding genuine....
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By *erenity20 OP Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
Hi guys and gals,
How do you out the genuine from the rest? I've made my profile very clear about what I'm looking for but still not finding genuine or I chat for a while then get ghosted on all levels, which in my opinion is nasty and unnecessary, given that we can all just say "no thank you"!
Is it my pictures arent explicit enough?
Spending most of my time reading the forums however, great fun and community  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys and gals,
How do you out the genuine from the rest? I've made my profile very clear about what I'm looking for but still not finding genuine or I chat for a while then get ghosted on all levels, which in my opinion is nasty and unnecessary, given that we can all just say "no thank you"!
Is it my pictures arent explicit enough?
Spending most of my time reading the forums however, great fun and community "
You have a great figure and your profile reads perfectly. Have you noticed a common point at which you're ghosted? Is there a point in the process of chatting you feel you aren't getting right? Too pushy or not pushy enough for examples.
You'd be exactly who I'm looking for if you were local I must say. |
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Sorry don't know how I deleted that
Profile looks good
Do people ghost you when you want to get to know them or chat a while?
On my single profile I've had men go quiet if I want to chat a bit and meet socially only first
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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start using your block button for those that dont interest you or pester or abusive then you will find slowly but surely the quality of messages will improve |
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I’m gen but get no offers .. well a few fakes here and there …. Yr profile reads excellent OP….
I could go on and on about the down sides to this site and how it’s changed over the years … but not being pushy if u wanna contact me feel free  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Site FAQ's are quite clear on the subject of non replies.
https://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ#noreply
There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting quite often happens when they realise you aren't up for instant sex chat or willing to send them pics on demand. "
true if someone doesn't like sort out of site contact after few weeks for trust building I am tend not to bother happens a lot
also Petals if your meeting some from distance I like face time or have phone call as a social as can't meet locally |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Hi guys and gals,
How do you out the genuine from the rest? I've made my profile very clear about what I'm looking for but still not finding genuine or I chat for a while then get ghosted on all levels, which in my opinion is nasty and unnecessary, given that we can all just say "no thank you"!
Is it my pictures arent explicit enough?
Spending most of my time reading the forums however, great fun and community "
You’ve got a well written profile and from the one picture that is public you seem attractive. Speaking from the position of a genuine couple, we would consider contacting you to find out more, except for two things. Firstly the distance (which is what it is), but more importantly your profile doesn’t really read as if you want to meet a couple, it seems far more focussed towards meeting a single man.
So if you are looking to meet genuine couples, that may be worth considering. |
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We like your profile and photo.
In looking for you mention couples and men, yet in your text you only mention men. May be confusing for some!
The genuine / fake balance is the eternal struggle. I guess there are somethings that come with experience, and figuring profiles out is one.
Ghosting is tough, but sometimes conversations just fade. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s just a case of finding someone you click with. Sometimes it just happens and sometimes you have to wait a little while and the right person/people will come 
I think a way to get a better feel is to interact on the forums, read what others post and it helps you get a feel for someone - similar interests, hobbies and taste and then go from there ?
Hope it helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s just a case of finding someone you click with. Sometimes it just happens and sometimes you have to wait a little while and the right person/people will come
I think a way to get a better feel is to interact on the forums, read what others post and it helps you get a feel for someone - similar interests, hobbies and taste and then go from there ?
Hope it helps "
Absolutely agree. There's no real way of telling until something you think you've arranged doesn't happen. My recent contacts have been via the forums. It's a good way to find people with similar interests and views. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you all for your advice, I've taken it all on board "
your welcome you will build up your own sort of rules and stuff when you have more experience always see someone new |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the other thing is never ever change what your looking for .... never change your preference .... never stop being picky ... and you are in control your rules .... you will get meets you have a sea of men its just about finding the ones for you ... its about you ....have fun and enjoy dont worry about what others think |
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Your profile looks fine to me. Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of dick heads on Fab at the minute.
But keep at it because there are some really great people on here and it's only a matter of time before you meet a decent guy x |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
Without even looking at your profile of photos I can say that you might not get many genuine people messaging you but having more classy/ non explicit photos will reduce the interest but in a good way, the quality of a man is obviously what you seek not quantity. keep being true to yourself and be patient. |
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I think we generally don't accept, or want to accept, that most people are not attracted to, nor compatible with most other people. This is especially true where we have fairly developed interests and preferences.
After initial contact, it will take some time for people to evaluate whether the others match or don't match - this will include tastes but other things like availability, accommodation, travel matches. And often made trickier if anyone is cheating, in shift patterns, family conflicts etc.
Ever the optimists, some of us do think that if things seem positive and we really like them, that things are pretty much in the bag.
And then the fab protocol for saying 'no thanks' happens, ie we get ignored, blocked etc.
This low match success level is joined by the people who mislead others about wanting to meet - many find the interaction sexually titillating and use it for wanking.
Having your own system is important, including deciding your boundaries and then enforcing them. Don't engage with chat that may be wank fodder and limit the images exchanged. Site supporter subscription removes pics from messages once read and is useful.
I avoid using external apps, until arranging final meeting details. Many want to use them to get you to send pics and videos, so it's worthwhile making it clear upfront that you're not getting involved.
Meeting at clubs cut some wannabes out, even if just meeting for a social check. Use quick voice or video chats to validate and remove some of the chaff - just avoid sexual content.
Verified users - may - be less unreliable.
But overall, the easiest thing to do is to ensure your expectations are realistic. Users are diverse and most won't be matched. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting quite often happens when they realise you aren't up for instant sex chat or willing to send them pics on demand. "
This
From a single woman's pov  |
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"Hi guys and gals,
How do you out the genuine from the rest? I've made my profile very clear about what I'm looking for but still not finding genuine or I chat for a while then get ghosted on all levels, which in my opinion is nasty and unnecessary, given that we can all just say "no thank you"!
Is it my pictures arent explicit enough?
Spending most of my time reading the forums however, great fun and community "
Lots of guys just want dirty chat and pictures to wank to. They'll start a conversation and it'll soon turn dirty. If you refuse to engage in that, they soon disappear. |
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. That wipes out quite a lot!
