FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What does this woman want ?
What does this woman want ?
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This thread one for the ladies (though I'm sure some guys will comment.
So there's a girl comes by where I work regularly and we chat. Known her a few months. We've been out for the odd meal as friends. There's definitely a sexual tension.
Last night I get a text
Her: Too hot to sleep
Me: Whatcha doing instead? Got one of those toys out the bottom drawer??
Her: Rude!!!! I suppose u got your cock in your hand as usual?
Where r ur manners!
Me: I could be ruder. I was gonna say wish it was in your hand. Oops I've said it now
Her: U never Initiate sex chat with a lady! It has to be her. Otherwise you just look cheap.
Me: You make me smile. You've got your school mistress hat on. I feel like I'm being told off. But only slightly. More like steered in the right direction by constructive criticism.
Her: No I just don’t like the presumption that I’m sexually available to anyone nor the mention of it! I find it rude!
Then she changes tack
Her: I will spank you hard! Naughty boy! lol
Me: I might like it
Her: I'll give you a tip
U seduce women with the mind!
Then we start rambling about 50 shades and
Me: I'll try anything once
Her: You're like a child in a sweet shop
Ur not very predatory
It’s endearing but unsexy
Me: Predatory? Any time i make any (usually minor) sexual innuendo you start having a moan ?????? and I'm only thinking its banter. If I was predatory you'd probably say Fuck Off !!!
Her: Oops
Me: I'm pretty vanilla but I think I have a hidden dark side. Since you mentioned the torture garden (something that briefly came up a couple of weeks ago) I've looked and there are a lot of sex clubs. I wanna visit one. See what its like. (She isn't on here by the way)
Her: Go for it
Me: Shall we....
Her: I don’t know u well enough for that
Plus i don’t think u would take the reins.
U seem the total opposite to my requirement.
I find the whole thing so contradictory and confusing. On the one hand I don't wanna be pushy and on the other maybe she wants that. Women. So bloody hard to read sometimes. Advice please ladies x
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I really dislike this sort of game playing. What this woman wants is to lead you on then tell you you're overstepping the line when you start to follow. Unless you enjoy it I'd ask her to be clear in her intent or I'd just not allow the conversation to go down that road again |
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It is confusing, she wants to call the shots, make the rules and tell you off. But she says she wants you to take the reins. Perhaps she's switch and you have to know when to take charge and went to do as you're told? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me it sounds like she wants to fool around but doesn't want to come off cheap and easy.
She want to delve into the darker side of things but wants to feel safe in doing so so is testing the waters a bit. Her darker side sounds like it's still in development hence swaying towards switch tendencies. (In saying that im not saying switches have to go a specific way).
She just sounds a little indecisive and confused |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stop all contact.
If she contacts you again wait.... Do not reply straight away.
Give it a day or 3. If her reply is a few or little words reply with the same.
Your being played, had same thing happen to me this month but with shit loads of other crap involved.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This thread one for the ladies (though I'm sure some guys will comment.
So there's a girl comes by where I work regularly and we chat. Known her a few months. We've been out for the odd meal as friends. There's definitely a sexual tension.
Last night I get a text
Her: Too hot to sleep
Me: Whatcha doing instead? Got one of those toys out the bottom drawer??
Her: Rude!!!! I suppose u got your cock in your hand as usual?
Where r ur manners!
Me: I could be ruder. I was gonna say wish it was in your hand. Oops I've said it now
Her: U never Initiate sex chat with a lady! It has to be her. Otherwise you just look cheap.
Me: You make me smile. You've got your school mistress hat on. I feel like I'm being told off. But only slightly. More like steered in the right direction by constructive criticism.
Her: No I just don’t like the presumption that I’m sexually available to anyone nor the mention of it! I find it rude!
Then she changes tack
Her: I will spank you hard! Naughty boy! lol
Me: I might like it
Her: I'll give you a tip
U seduce women with the mind!
Then we start rambling about 50 shades and
Me: I'll try anything once
Her: You're like a child in a sweet shop
Ur not very predatory
It’s endearing but unsexy
Me: Predatory? Any time i make any (usually minor) sexual innuendo you start having a moan ?????? and I'm only thinking its banter. If I was predatory you'd probably say Fuck Off !!!
Her: Oops
Me: I'm pretty vanilla but I think I have a hidden dark side. Since you mentioned the torture garden (something that briefly came up a couple of weeks ago) I've looked and there are a lot of sex clubs. I wanna visit one. See what its like. (She isn't on here by the way)
Her: Go for it
Me: Shall we....
Her: I don’t know u well enough for that
Plus i don’t think u would take the reins.
U seem the total opposite to my requirement.
I find the whole thing so contradictory and confusing. On the one hand I don't wanna be pushy and on the other maybe she wants that. Women. So bloody hard to read sometimes. Advice please ladies x
"
Move on. Shes playing with your mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She’s playing you for her own confidence boost."
She's being a right little prick tease.
Maybe you should back off a little bit.
Play a little hard to get |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would it not just be easier to ask her out on a date?
That way you will have a clearer understanding and you will know if she is actually interested or just wanting to flirt but no more than that.
You can then be clearer on what to expect moving forwards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would it not just be easier to ask her out on a date?
That way you will have a clearer understanding and you will know if she is actually interested or just wanting to flirt but no more than that.
You can then be clearer on what to expect moving forwards. "
As he says in his original post, they've already been out for a few meals together |
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Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks  |
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"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks "
I'm not confused. It's pretty clear to me what her intentions are. Please don't invest too much hope in Saturday. I would be very happy to be wrong though. Good luck and enjoy your dancing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks
I'm not confused. It's pretty clear to me what her intentions are. Please don't invest too much hope in Saturday. I would be very happy to be wrong though. Good luck and enjoy your dancing "
Plate em don't date em |
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"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks
I'm not confused. It's pretty clear to me what her intentions are. Please don't invest too much hope in Saturday. I would be very happy to be wrong though. Good luck and enjoy your dancing
Plate em don't date em"
I don't know what plate em means but I can guess  .
I think although go I might be wrong , that she's doing that thing some women do that makes men believe *all* women are mysterious creatures who are difficult to understand. Instead of clearly indicating how she'd like things to move forward she's giving him encouragement and as soon as he responds positively backing off and making out he's over stepped a line that she herself constantly moves. As I said I don't like that sort of game |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks
I'm not confused. It's pretty clear to me what her intentions are. Please don't invest too much hope in Saturday. I would be very happy to be wrong though. Good luck and enjoy your dancing
Plate em don't date em
I don't know what plate em means but I can guess .
I think although go I might be wrong , that she's doing that thing some women do that makes men believe *all* women are mysterious creatures who are difficult to understand. Instead of clearly indicating how she'd like things to move forward she's giving him encouragement and as soon as he responds positively backing off and making out he's over stepped a line that she herself constantly moves. As I said I don't like that sort of game "
Because he is overstepping the line, by miles. She needs it much more subtle and gradual, not everyone is as open in the real world , things take time to slowly develop |
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"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks
I'm not confused. It's pretty clear to me what her intentions are. Please don't invest too much hope in Saturday. I would be very happy to be wrong though. Good luck and enjoy your dancing
Plate em don't date em
I don't know what plate em means but I can guess .
I think although go I might be wrong , that she's doing that thing some women do that makes men believe *all* women are mysterious creatures who are difficult to understand. Instead of clearly indicating how she'd like things to move forward she's giving him encouragement and as soon as he responds positively backing off and making out he's over stepped a line that she herself constantly moves. As I said I don't like that sort of game
Because he is overstepping the line, by miles. She needs it much more subtle and gradual, not everyone is as open in the real world , things take time to slowly develop "
I can see where you're coming from with that. Whatever the truth I don't think she's likely to take things any further  |
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It’s easy to see, she is giving it the she is boss bit in an attempt for you to shut her down and tell her how it’s going to be. She wants a man who is going to put her in her place and take the lead. You get some women who are very vocal but all they want is a man to put them in their place, they get off on it and love it.
Step up, tell her how it’s going to be and she will be wetter than an otters pocket. |
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By *ougie321Man
over a year ago
Milford Haven |
cancel the date, play hard to get in fact say your not free for a couple of weeks. Advice from op above is good don’t answer the random txts or sex text. We’re all human and your response she already knows. If you want to be going out with her and feel like a mug when she gets with someone else your call. Seems like you have only this woman on your mind, so play the game back to her. |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks "
I am going to predict that you will be just as confused afterwards. She on the other hand will have had a lovely night out that she’s probably not paid for. |
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"It’s easy to see, she is giving it the she is boss bit in an attempt for you to shut her down and tell her how it’s going to be. She wants a man who is going to put her in her place and take the lead. You get some women who are very vocal but all they want is a man to put them in their place, they get off on it and love it.
Step up, tell her how it’s going to be and she will be wetter than an otters pocket."
You know I had thought this too but if I TELL her how it's going to be she says I'm being pushy and not subtle enough. I feel its a game I can't win. |
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"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks
I am going to predict that you will be just as confused afterwards. She on the other hand will have had a lovely night out that she’s probably not paid for."
True but I'm not bothered about the money I'm just happy to be going out to a venue and dancing (even if she wasn't in the picture) If anything does happen it'll be a bonus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fk me that was some quick change role playing moment OP!
Bottom line....
She doesn't know what she wants, so keeps you hanging on a string!
My advice - take a back step, leave her alone for a bit and see what happens...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stop all contact.
If she contacts you again wait.... Do not reply straight away.
Give it a day or 3. If her reply is a few or little words reply with the same.
Your being played, had same thing happen to me this month but with shit loads of other crap involved.
"
Agree
Read yours after I wrote mine  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know I had thought this too but if I TELL her how it's going to be she says I'm being pushy and not subtle enough. I feel its a game I can't win. "
Then don't play it.
Some women want what they can't have - and conversely, aren't that interested in a dead cert. |
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I reckon she’s had a drink and got horny..
Probably back to being miss prude today..
Fuck her off she’s high maintenance..
So many beautiful genuine ladies in this world that don’t want to fuck with your head or have you running around like a lap dog ..
Grow a pair and move on |
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Never that desperate for someone to engage much further with this type of scenario. If you had some sort of liaison sexual or otherwise how do you know how she may react afterwards.
I prefer to spend time or have relationships with people who aren’t playing games or sure about what they want.
There’s flirting between two adults that know it’s going somewhere and then there’s the opposite, that could lead to a whole load of trouble in the long term. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just read your original post again OP, and this bit stood out like a sore thumb.
"
U seem the total opposite to my requirement.
"
Everything you need to know about where this is going is right there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread one for the ladies (though I'm sure some guys will comment.
So there's a girl comes by where I work regularly and we chat. Known her a few months. We've been out for the odd meal as friends. There's definitely a sexual tension.
Last night I get a text
Her: Too hot to sleep
Me: Whatcha doing instead? Got one of those toys out the bottom drawer??
Her: Rude!!!! I suppose u got your cock in your hand as usual?
Where r ur manners!
Me: I could be ruder. I was gonna say wish it was in your hand. Oops I've said it now
Her: U never Initiate sex chat with a lady! It has to be her. Otherwise you just look cheap.
Me: You make me smile. You've got your school mistress hat on. I feel like I'm being told off. But only slightly. More like steered in the right direction by constructive criticism.
Her: No I just don’t like the presumption that I’m sexually available to anyone nor the mention of it! I find it rude!
Then she changes tack
Her: I will spank you hard! Naughty boy! lol
Me: I might like it
Her: I'll give you a tip
U seduce women with the mind!
Then we start rambling about 50 shades and
Me: I'll try anything once
Her: You're like a child in a sweet shop
Ur not very predatory
It’s endearing but unsexy
Me: Predatory? Any time i make any (usually minor) sexual innuendo you start having a moan ?????? and I'm only thinking its banter. If I was predatory you'd probably say Fuck Off !!!
Her: Oops
Me: I'm pretty vanilla but I think I have a hidden dark side. Since you mentioned the torture garden (something that briefly came up a couple of weeks ago) I've looked and there are a lot of sex clubs. I wanna visit one. See what its like. (She isn't on here by the way)
Her: Go for it
Me: Shall we....
Her: I don’t know u well enough for that
Plus i don’t think u would take the reins.
U seem the total opposite to my requirement.
I find the whole thing so contradictory and confusing. On the one hand I don't wanna be pushy and on the other maybe she wants that. Women. So bloody hard to read sometimes. Advice please ladies x
"
I think she was just bored and you don’t stand a chance - sorry.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stop all contact.
If she contacts you again wait.... Do not reply straight away.
Give it a day or 3. If her reply is a few or little words reply with the same.
Your being played, had same thing happen to me this month but with shit loads of other crap involved.
Agree
Read yours after I wrote mine "
Yeah. I get the feeling this sort of carry on will drain ya wallet before she ever drains the sack.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It seems she's leading you on to shut you down...she's defo playing a game...if I were you OP I'd move on...this type of people can be quiet manipulate also...escape while you can  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I stopped reading when she called you rude.
She was right. You have no idea of this woman intentions and you hurdled the boundary. "
A fair point, after all, he was the one who turned the conversation sexual right at the start.
Having said that, I feel there's a great deal of context that we're unaware of, but even so |
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I'd cancel the date, and start using her own phrases back at her.
When she starts whining about why you're not paying her any attention these days tell her she's the exact opposite of your requirement |
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"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks "
Hm, personally I do not find it confusing at all. She wrote to you that it is too hot to sleep, this is all and you were the one who brought in a sexual topic apropos of nothing, you then disregarded when she expressed that she finds it rude and continued on with the "banter".
She then tried to change the conversation around by joking about punishing you.
You then discussed 50 Shades of Lies and Abuse - you did not give any details so it is impossible to surmise the nature of that discussion - but somehow it developed and she mentioned what she is interested in which does not mean that she is interested in this with you - unless she specifically expressed that but it does not seem like she did.
If you are genuinely confused and not being disingenouos then simply have a proper conversation with her when you meet and have it early in the evening without alcohol preferably. Speak clearly and express what you are interested in with her and ask her if she is interested in the same - I would suggest to ask first if anything you have said or did so far caused her any discomfort or weirdness, that would be a good start! |
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"This thread one for the ladies (though I'm sure some guys will comment.
So there's a girl comes by where I work regularly and we chat. Known her a few months. We've been out for the odd meal as friends. There's definitely a sexual tension.
Last night I get a text
Her: Too hot to sleep
Me: Whatcha doing instead? Got one of those toys out the bottom drawer??
Her: Rude!!!! I suppose u got your cock in your hand as usual?
Where r ur manners!
Me: I could be ruder. I was gonna say wish it was in your hand. Oops I've said it now
Her: U never Initiate sex chat with a lady! It has to be her. Otherwise you just look cheap.
Me: You make me smile. You've got your school mistress hat on. I feel like I'm being told off. But only slightly. More like steered in the right direction by constructive criticism.
Her: No I just don’t like the presumption that I’m sexually available to anyone nor the mention of it! I find it rude!
Then she changes tack
Her: I will spank you hard! Naughty boy! lol
Me: I might like it
Her: I'll give you a tip
U seduce women with the mind!
Then we start rambling about 50 shades and
Me: I'll try anything once
Her: You're like a child in a sweet shop
Ur not very predatory
It’s endearing but unsexy
Me: Predatory? Any time i make any (usually minor) sexual innuendo you start having a moan ?????? and I'm only thinking its banter. If I was predatory you'd probably say Fuck Off !!!
Her: Oops
Me: I'm pretty vanilla but I think I have a hidden dark side. Since you mentioned the torture garden (something that briefly came up a couple of weeks ago) I've looked and there are a lot of sex clubs. I wanna visit one. See what its like. (She isn't on here by the way)
Her: Go for it
Me: Shall we....
Her: I don’t know u well enough for that
Plus i don’t think u would take the reins.
U seem the total opposite to my requirement.
I find the whole thing so contradictory and confusing. On the one hand I don't wanna be pushy and on the other maybe she wants that. Women. So bloody hard to read sometimes. Advice please ladies x
"
Run Forest Run. |
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Each and every one of the contributions to this thread may, or may not, be true and accurate, and I do not discount the possibility that they are ALL so at one and the same time, as in "Schrodinger's Cat" thought experiment.
Women are entirely delightful, and I can spend hours in their company listening (and failing to understand) the ways in which their minds work.
It is of minor consolidation that I am not alone in this failure.
I have a few cod- psychology theories as to the wonderful mysteries of womanhood, but my mate has a far simpler approach: he maintains that women are all inhabitants of PW (Planet Woman) and that with limited areas of convergence in the sphere of sexuality, the only answer is the invention of a Universal Translator lol |
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"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks
Hm, personally I do not find it confusing at all. She wrote to you that it is too hot to sleep, this is all and you were the one who brought in a sexual topic apropos of nothing, you then disregarded when she expressed that she finds it rude and continued on with the "banter".
She then tried to change the conversation around by joking about punishing you.
You then discussed 50 Shades of Lies and Abuse - you did not give any details so it is impossible to surmise the nature of that discussion - but somehow it developed and she mentioned what she is interested in which does not mean that she is interested in this with you - unless she specifically expressed that but it does not seem like she did.
If you are genuinely confused and not being disingenouos then simply have a proper conversation with her when you meet and have it early in the evening without alcohol preferably. Speak clearly and express what you are interested in with her and ask her if she is interested in the same - I would suggest to ask first if anything you have said or did so far caused her any discomfort or weirdness, that would be a good start! "
This i like |
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"Each and every one of the contributions to this thread may, or may not, be true and accurate, and I do not discount the possibility that they are ALL so at one and the same time, as in "Schrodinger's Cat" thought experiment.
Women are entirely delightful, and I can spend hours in their company listening (and failing to understand) the ways in which their minds work.
It is of minor consolidation that I am not alone in this failure.
I have a few cod- psychology theories as to the wonderful mysteries of womanhood, but my mate has a far simpler approach: he maintains that women are all inhabitants of PW (Planet Woman) and that with limited areas of convergence in the sphere of sexuality, the only answer is the invention of a Universal Translator lol"
Women are great though aren't they. Even when they mess with our heads they're all still lovely. I'll get in the shed and work on that translator!!! |
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"Thanks for your help. I had abridged the conversation slightly and taken out the non relevant stuff. I back off a little then it swings back round to the sexual tension but I'm glad you're all confused too!!!
We're going dancing sat to a rock abd roll thing so maybe we'll get closer then.
Thanks
Hm, personally I do not find it confusing at all. She wrote to you that it is too hot to sleep, this is all and you were the one who brought in a sexual topic apropos of nothing, you then disregarded when she expressed that she finds it rude and continued on with the "banter".
She then tried to change the conversation around by joking about punishing you.
You then discussed 50 Shades of Lies and Abuse - you did not give any details so it is impossible to surmise the nature of that discussion - but somehow it developed and she mentioned what she is interested in which does not mean that she is interested in this with you - unless she specifically expressed that but it does not seem like she did.
If you are genuinely confused and not being disingenouos then simply have a proper conversation with her when you meet and have it early in the evening without alcohol preferably. Speak clearly and express what you are interested in with her and ask her if she is interested in the same - I would suggest to ask first if anything you have said or did so far caused her any discomfort or weirdness, that would be a good start! "
Yes! |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
" Hm, personally I do not find it confusing at all. She wrote to you that it is too hot to sleep, this is all and you were the one who brought in a sexual topic apropos of nothing, you then disregarded when she expressed that she finds it rude and continued on with the "banter"."
This is my exact thoughts , it’s really not confusing at all , it’s pretty damn basic yet when you have been on fab a while maybe you forget how sexually unliberated people act sometimes and want to keep things open ended.
She messaged to say it’s too hot to sleep ? Why ? It’s not rocket science, it was hot and she couldn’t sleep and she thought of you.
But like a 14 year old boy you got straight into it. She seems to like you so hopefully she’ll stay interested and do the work for you unless you repeatedly fuck things up
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Try starting the night with a conversation of what she is after from you as you keep getting mixed signals, if she wants to be friends only then keep the future conversations away from a sexual nature. If she wants more then you will know and can either take things slowly or to the next level if you are both ready for that. I would also make her pay for some drinks too to make sure this isn't just a gold digging exercise for her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I she’s playing you like a violin if I’m being honest ; she’s bored and stringing you on. Try easing back for a while and move on . Then see how that works for you, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I she’s playing you like a violin if I’m being honest ; she’s bored and stringing you on. Try easing back for a while and move on . Then see how that works for you, "
also with regards the initiation she didn't seem comfortable.)
I'd say don't invest in the situation too much try & expand your social circles online & in the real world instead.. |
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"What do you want op?"
I want to move things to next level. See where it leads. I like her. She's very uninhibited. We've discussed sex before. We've been friends for quite a while. Even when I still had a partner. So She's stuck around a lot. One would assume she's after more but on some levels is a closed book. |
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"What do you want op?
I want to move things to next level. See where it leads. I like her. She's very uninhibited. We've discussed sex before. We've been friends for quite a while. Even when I still had a partner. So She's stuck around a lot. One would assume she's after more but on some
levels is
a closed book."
Don't assume, never assume.
I think you have a choice. Continue as you are or have a proper chat.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you want op?
I want to move things to next level. See where it leads. I like her. She's very uninhibited. We've discussed sex before. We've been friends for quite a while. Even when I still had a partner. So She's stuck around a lot. One would assume she's after more but on some levels is a closed book."
If you know each other well then it shouldn’t be awkward to have an honest conversation with her about what you’d like and see if she feels the same. But with none of the cloak and dagger misread signals bullshit… |
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"Stop all contact.
If she contacts you again wait.... Do not reply straight away.
Give it a day or 3. If her reply is a few or little words reply with the same.
Your being played, had same thing happen to me this month but with shit loads of other crap involved.
"
That's good advice, assuming the OP doesn't want to be played!  |
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"What do you want op?
I want to move things to next level. See where it leads. I like her. She's very uninhibited. We've discussed sex before. We've been friends for quite a while. Even when I still had a partner. So She's stuck around a lot. One would assume she's after more but on some levels is a closed book."
Ask her directly and how she feels about developing a relationship with you, anything else is candy floss! |
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"This thread one for the ladies (though I'm sure some guys will comment.
So there's a girl comes by where I work regularly and we chat. Known her a few months. We've been out for the odd meal as friends. There's definitely a sexual tension.
Last night I get a text
Her: Too hot to sleep
Me: Whatcha doing instead? Got one of those toys out the bottom drawer??
Her: Rude!!!! I suppose u got your cock in your hand as usual?
Where r ur manners!
Me: I could be ruder. I was gonna say wish it was in your hand. Oops I've said it now
Her: U never Initiate sex chat with a lady! It has to be her. Otherwise you just look cheap.
Me: You make me smile. You've got your school mistress hat on. I feel like I'm being told off. But only slightly. More like steered in the right direction by constructive criticism.
Her: No I just don’t like the presumption that I’m sexually available to anyone nor the mention of it! I find it rude!
Then she changes tack
Her: I will spank you hard! Naughty boy! lol
Me: I might like it
Her: I'll give you a tip
U seduce women with the mind!
Then we start rambling about 50 shades and
Me: I'll try anything once
Her: You're like a child in a sweet shop
Ur not very predatory
It’s endearing but unsexy
Me: Predatory? Any time i make any (usually minor) sexual innuendo you start having a moan ?????? and I'm only thinking its banter. If I was predatory you'd probably say Fuck Off !!!
Her: Oops
Me: I'm pretty vanilla but I think I have a hidden dark side. Since you mentioned the torture garden (something that briefly came up a couple of weeks ago) I've looked and there are a lot of sex clubs. I wanna visit one. See what its like. (She isn't on here by the way)
Her: Go for it
Me: Shall we....
Her: I don’t know u well enough for that
Plus i don’t think u would take the reins.
U seem the total opposite to my requirement.
I find the whole thing so contradictory and confusing. On the one hand I don't wanna be pushy and on the other maybe she wants that. Women. So bloody hard to read sometimes. Advice please ladies x
"
Think this could end in a huge helping of grief.
Good luck, tread careful.
Remember your messages are there forever. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I would be a bit confused, OP - but then a written conversation leaves room for different interpretations.
I got the impression she wants you to be a bit forthcoming, even dominant but does not want to be seen (in her perception) as "easy".
One point though: I do, from a female perspective, understand the bit about the kid in the toyshop - sorry I would find that a bit "unmanly" or "ungrown-up", too.
Overall, if you are prepared to stick it out (pardon the pun) and invest time and effort, I d say "go for it" but prepare to accept it might not go your way. |
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She likes a touch of banter or flirting whatever you call it , she will string you along until it suits maybe you will get “lucky” maybe you will fall for her then find out after a few confusing months she’s met some one else and practised her flirt technique on you gd luck mate |
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"I would be a bit confused, OP - but then a written conversation leaves room for different interpretations.
I got the impression she wants you to be a bit forthcoming, even dominant but does not want to be seen (in her perception) as "easy".
One point though: I do, from a female perspective, understand the bit about the kid in the toyshop - sorry I would find that a bit "unmanly" or "ungrown-up", too.
Overall, if you are prepared to stick it out (pardon the pun) and invest time and effort, I d say "go for it" but prepare to accept it might not go your way. "
I would say if its a case that you are not what she wants you to be this could end in disaster. Unfortunately she's either too pig headed or unhinged to realise the folly in wishing someone be someone different to what they are. I'd say its down to you to be sensible adult and nip this in the bud. Although I understand the lure of a female its time to let logic overrule hormones. Also this kind of head-fucking is a massive red flag to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ask her! I don't get what the problem is... She is sending conflicting messages and it's confusing you (and everyone else) so ask her what she wants... You are both grow ups, I am assuming... If not, you won't ask or she won't like the question but then you should have some idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you want op?
I want to move things to next level. See where it leads. I like her. She's very uninhibited. We've discussed sex before. We've been friends for quite a while. Even when I still had a partner. So She's stuck around a lot. One would assume she's after more but on some levels is a closed book."
...and now we have some context |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I think your initial reply was too much too soon. I don't think it's unreasonable to believe her text about being too hot was a way of initiating some flirty chat but your reply left nowhere for her to go in her mind. From there it sounds like it just got a bit awkward and confused. As others have said there are clues in what she said as to what she might be looking for. If it was me I would go along on your next date but with zero expectations. Act normally but pay attention to anything she says and her body language and if you get any signs of flirting play along but on a more subtle level and see how the night pans out. I do agree there's every chance she could just be playing games with you though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stop all contact.
If she contacts you again wait.... Do not reply straight away.
Give it a day or 3. If her reply is a few or little words reply with the same.
Your being played, had same thing happen to me this month but with shit loads of other crap involved.
"
Yes you are being led along the donkey path. Give it a wide berth. Plenty more fish in the sea and this time play it cool. |
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She sounds high maintenance, wants you be on the back foot, so berates you when you show your hand, and teases you when she feels you are timidly acquiescent. She might want you to chase her coyly, and start with a seduction in the mind before she allows you to move to sex.
Is it worth it? Personally I’d run a mile, unless you want to play mind games…this isn’t tinder. |
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"
So there's a girl comes by where I work regularly and we chat. Known her a few months. We've been out for the odd meal as friends. There's definitely a sexual tension.
Last night I get a text
Her: Too hot to sleep
Me: Whatcha doing instead? Got one of those toys out the bottom drawer??
Her: Rude!!!! I suppose u got your cock in your hand as usual?
Where r ur manners!
Me: I could be ruder. I was gonna say wish it was in your hand. Oops I've said it now
Her: U never Initiate sex chat with a lady! It has to be her. Otherwise you just look cheap.
Me: You make me smile. You've got your school mistress hat on. I feel like I'm being told off. But only slightly. More like steered in the right direction by constructive criticism.
Her: No I just don’t like the presumption that I’m sexually available to anyone nor the mention of it! I find it rude!
"
On reflection OP, given how you started the dialogue with her- moving immediately into sex chat maybe she really was pissed off and the follow up on her part intended to rattle you, maybe a gentler approach and the usual social pleasantries might be more fruitful? |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
There’s context we don’t know. A silly game or maybe a manipulative game… what do we know? There’s obviously a history of sex talk (you knew about toys). You could play along a bit for what it is and stop looking for meaning.
Vx |
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Stop chasing and ignore. If she is interested she will come back but as an earlier poster said don’t pander, play hard to get.
She’ll either get bored and find someone else to play mind games with or she might take you seriously and create something between you both.
At the end of the day put it down as an experience and move forward.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's pretty clear. She is Domme and you haven't either dominated her to switch or been submissive enough.
Well maybe it's not clear but that was my take on it |
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I think she’s not sure what she wants, she’s interested but not brave enough to admit it, she may well have a whole dirty side yet to embrace. It may lead to no where ( like any relationship) but it might so tread gently so you don’t scare her off. Don’t play games like some have recommended as this for sure will have her running but be mindful that she’s not using you too. Go dance and have fun, be open and honest as this will be harder for her to avoid a real answer to. X |
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By *e 1812Man
over a year ago
Bargoed-ish. |
If you're not bothered about spending the cash, maybe go on the date and see how it goes. It's your call after all. But I couldn't be doing with any woman who wants to play head games that's for sure. |
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