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Non-cummers in clubs.
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Anyway all great and as Kate put it, she was in the "zone". Kate and I offered both guys the opporunity to errrrm, finish off, but both declined. Gave them several chances, but no....
I know we're all different and some will freak if you just come over their face without at least giving a heads up, but when your asked if you'd like to and you can't/won't it's a bit of a let down.
Now, before anyone says anything about they are there to have fun too and do what they chose, I'd say, absolutely! - but when it gets to a point we'd really like it, if you're not up for it, move away there were plenty of others who seemed intrested. Hence why we moved away it was obvious neither guy was going to cum, or move out the way even after plenty of hinting. Again, we hint because if it gets to the point we have to tell someone, then it's over for us anyway.
I can understand guys not wanting to peak too early but, this was less than an hour before closing time.
It actually knocks your confidence a bit.
D&K
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"How rude!!! So basically they're saying, 'you'll do to get my Dick wet but I'll wait for someone better to finish off with!' Don't start what you cant finish! If I saw or heard a guy say that at a club he would instantly get himself a place on the, Not With a Barge Pole list!!"  | |||
"How rude!!! So basically they're saying, 'you'll do to get my Dick wet but I'll wait for someone better to finish off with!' Don't start what you cant finish! If I saw or heard a guy say that at a club he would instantly get himself a place on the, Not With a Barge Pole list!! "I agree too - but even those who don't say it, like our scenario, that's how you can feel - like tgey are saving it for someone else.... Nothing like being made to feel sexy Or inadequate 
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I'm one of the ones who will play early if I like the look of someone. I have been gobsmacked to be told "I'm saving it" at 9pm when the club doesn't close till 3! Surely many men can manage twice in six hours!  | |||
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"This is a surprisingly common occurrence in clubs and to be honest it's why single guys often get a bad rep . If a girl loses the moment there will be no fun for anyone and the one thing guaranteed to help her lose it is the ' going through the motions ' technique often employed by single guys in clubs .so they wanna save it for later ? How selfish is that ? If the girl is willing to suck , fuck , wank etc.... Him and he is just thinking he will save it then it's a shame one doesn't know beforehand that this is his goal ! Of course it knocks the confidence - but they don't seem bothered "Wowwwwwwwwwwww there just a moment with the single guys bit. Whilst I have never been in the situation of any guy saying they are saving it, I have heard it said on a number of occassions........ in the COUPLES room. I have no doubt single guys may also be using this tactic, but I am sure beyond doubt the male half of couples do it... because they want to be able to fuck their missus at the end of the night. So please lets not make this about the 'single guy'. In all honesty, if I knew I could only cum once or twice per visit and after that I'd not be in any condtion to play..... I'd be fucking saving it too! | |||
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"Sometimes it is because they have been popping the blue pill. They get hard easy enough but the ball sack was drained ages ago and they couldn't cum if their life depended on it." This sounds far more a likely reason as to why the guy(s) won't cum over a lady. It's not because they don't want to or are saving it for someone thinner/fatter/sexier etc, it's because it's not possible too.  | |||
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"Just as an after thought....... has anyone ever turned to a woman and said "yeah I am ready for you to cum on my face now, if you can't manage it can you shift your arse out of the way and make room for someone who can" Or is it not right to treat women like performing seals?" If anything men usually ask Kate to stop cumming as the floors getting too slippy 
It's a fair point and I have a lot of sympathy for single guys which reminds me to start another thread.
My point really is, when playing you get to a point where your goals are no longer aligned - nothing the matter with that, everyone's had fun, it's just as a single guy, maybe I'm realy missing the point but would expect given the opporunity to cum over a woman in the throws of n'th orgasm with only half hour or so of club time left, they'd jump at the chance. It's not about expecting them to perform its just the feeling you get that they are not enjoying themselves as much as you are - which is a turn off.
There have been a lot of good comments on here that probably explain it and I'm sure she won't take it to heart
As for Kate being a performing seal, she's had her fair share of brightly colourd balls on her nose, but has neither the whiskers or the stink of fish.
D | |||
"..... it's just as a single guy, maybe I'm realy missing the point but would expect given the opporunity to cum over a woman in the throws of n'th orgasm with only half hour or so of club time left, they'd jump at the chance. It's not about expecting them to perform its just the feeling you get that they are not enjoying themselves as much as you are - which is a turn off. " Ever considered that some of us get our total 'buzz' (or whatever) from feeling the woman orgasm over and over and knowing her partner is getting an equal 'buzz' from it and so we don't actually need to cum ourselves? And should not be 'put down' however unintentioned because we don't? If a guy only feels fully satisfied by his own orgasm and can not be satisfied by the lady's then I feel he is missing a whole world of pleasure. But their choice I guess. Although of course I fully appreciate the pleasure a lady gets from seeing a man cum. | |||
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"The Op was describing a group sex / gangbang situation and graphically illustrated why I never get into those scenarios. No criticism intended of oanyone just why I don't go there. I prefer to focus my attention on someone who wants that individual attention and appreciates it as I will explain later. And just for once I agree with Polo. Its OK to 'tell' a man to cum on command and slag him off when he declines but a woman should never be treated like that? As for the men saying they are 'saving it up'. Well thay are just rude and ignorant. Decline an invitation by all means but put a lady down at the same time?...and of course 'all single blokes' are like that aren't they? What hasn't been aired on this Thread is the fact that there are some men (and I am one) who take ages (and I mean hours) to orgasm and when I do it is very intense. (Yes I do get hard again after a cuppa before the smartarses take a poke!). So its not always the little Blue Pill at work it is just how some of us are. Some guys cum a lot and often some don't. Some can't 'repeat' some can. Why do people have to rush off to assume the worst of people?" | |||
"..... it's just as a single guy, maybe I'm realy missing the point but would expect given the opporunity to cum over a woman in the throws of n'th orgasm with only half hour or so of club time left, they'd jump at the chance. It's not about expecting them to perform its just the feeling you get that they are not enjoying themselves as much as you are - which is a turn off. Ever considered that some of us get our total 'buzz' (or whatever) from feeling the woman orgasm over and over and knowing her partner is getting an equal 'buzz' from it and so we don't actually need to cum ourselves? And should not be 'put down' however unintentioned because we don't? If a guy only feels fully satisfied by his own orgasm and can not be satisfied by the lady's then I feel he is missing a whole world of pleasure. But their choice I guess. Although of course I fully appreciate the pleasure a lady gets from seeing a man cum." Absolutely - have you ever considered that's exactly what this whole thread is about? - as you say, about only being fully satisfied when others have enjoyed themselves too? | |||
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"Why do some guys feel compelled to have multiple partners in any given club meet ? " Probably for the same reasons some of us ladies like to | |||
"Why do some guys feel compelled to have multiple partners in any given club meet ? Probably for the same reasons some of us ladies like to "Ur too quick at times. As I pressed the button, I thought I have made an error here and made it 'one sexed' | |||
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"Why do some guys feel compelled to have multiple partners in any given club meet ? If you like someone and get along, then get it on with them and finish it off with them. Sometimes, you might just want to get showered and leave feeling happy, smiley, content and with fond memories of the experience. Other times you might want to shower, get a drink, have a chat at the bar, chill out in another area or whatever til someone else comes in that might like to play. Both have their place." true but if i was going to a club or a party it normall be to play with a few people, if i just wanted to play with one id probs meet in private | |||
"Why do some guys feel compelled to have multiple partners in any given club meet ? If you like someone and get along, then get it on with them and finish it off with them. Sometimes, you might just want to get showered and leave feeling happy, smiley, content and with fond memories of the experience. Other times you might want to shower, get a drink, have a chat at the bar, chill out in another area or whatever til someone else comes in that might like to play. Both have their place. true but if i was going to a club or a party it normall be to play with a few people, if i just wanted to play with one id probs meet in private" i go to clubs because i find it easier to meet someone there than online it saves the too-ing and fro-ing of messages and emails with unknown outcomes if searching for a 'there and then' or 'that day' meet so quite often, the one playmate does me, but other times i like to stay round and see if anyone else comes in that i'd like to play with | |||
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"I'm more than happy for men in clubs not to cum with me. Actually, I'd prefer it and I don't get any sense of 'I'm not good enough'. Enjoy the moment and have no expectations of others - you can't control their responses or their intentions. A partner holding back on me... that's a different matter." I've just came, cos I agree with u | |||
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"I find that when I'm with someone for the first time I can't always cum. I try and hold back to make the experience as pleasurable for everyone and then I've gone numb etc. For someone to say they "don't want to" or they are "saving it" does seem a little insensitive though if i'm honest." But's not any better for the OP if they answer 'I can't'. | |||
"and I'm just glad u's had a nice time. if u want some pornstars go ahead and find them..they can cum on request. " Ok, it would be easy for me to rise to this... excuse the pun, but if you read my original post, I think I did say, if cumming really isn't you're thing, then fine - I fully support everyones right to do whatever makes them happy. " perhaps u(mr) were too much in their faces or cocks(nothing worse than having a male half directing u, or being so close u think he's getting off on urself more than he is getting off on his wifes pleasure.Even worse...the female half isnt looking like shes enjoying the experience more than the male half is(this is mainly aimed at the male halves who watch/direct)rather than those who are active in the play." Ok, so I get onto a bed in a public room and start having sex, within seconds there are guys either side grabbing their cocks - I'd suggest they were ok with it.. There was no directing, but I did tell them we coudlnt' stand it in there much longer because it was so hot and would they like us all to finish together? "To me, what really matters is that these single guys behaved well enough to be played with in the club..that should be ur highlight." I seriously hope you're takign the michael or your current mailing address is located under a bridge and your favourite past time is stalking goats?
"now its been suggested that they must have had viagra or were waiting for a better offer...maybe they had also played before and were spent from that." Quite possibly, thats why I started the thread to see if this was common practice, and as some have suggested, some perfectly logical explainations. "nobody said because we(all groups) are swingers would suggest we are gonna be superpeople(all groups) in the sack, compared to any other people. Ive found situations myself of course where I havent came..my partners have enjoyed other times when i have(ones Ive met with again)-maybe I just dont find the shallow types, ones who can enjoy ur compnay and sex..but with nothing written in stone about how ur 'supposed' to perform. " I've got the universal translator still running on that last paragraph, but early indications suggest you're saying that nobody expects swingers to be any better in bed than non-swingers and maybe you're lucky as you dont' find shallow people who have an ideology on how peopel are supposed to perform? We have nothing written in stone, by far our best experiences over the last year have been the ones we didn't see coming! (ok I intended that one!  )
I never realised that cumming for a male in a swingers club fell into the "superpeople in the sack" category, it's something I've had no trouble with since an early age - Woooo! I must be a sex a god!
"lastly, anyone suffering from 'it must be me, I'm not attractive enough because he/she/they didnt cum' should seriously consider the fact that perhaps they need some self-esteem building, rather than finding it from sexual gratification." There is not building of self esteem required. We want the experience to be good for everyone, and like some have said, not-cumming is "their thing". Thats fine, and I make no apology for actually having a concern over whether other people are enjoying things as much as us, or for us querying ourselves. I don't presume us to be Sex Gods, and believe there is always room for improvement.
All in all, I'm not slating anyone for not cumming, and thank everyone for their contribution (excuse the pun... again) to this thread. Its good to see it from the other side....
On the plus side, we're trying to arrange a hotel meet with 2 other guys, I now know what one of my criteria questions will be I'd always taken it as a given.
Thanks
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"and I'm just glad u's had a nice time. if u want some pornstars go ahead and find them..they can cum on request. Ok, it would be easy for me to rise to this... excuse the pun, but if you read my original post, I think I did say, if cumming really isn't you're thing, then fine - I fully support everyones right to do whatever makes them happy. perhaps u(mr) were too much in their faces or cocks(nothing worse than having a male half directing u, or being so close u think he's getting off on urself more than he is getting off on his wifes pleasure.Even worse...the female half isnt looking like shes enjoying the experience more than the male half is(this is mainly aimed at the male halves who watch/direct)rather than those who are active in the play. Ok, so I get onto a bed in a public room and start having sex, within seconds there are guys either side grabbing their cocks - I'd suggest they were ok with it.. There was no directing, but I did tell them we coudlnt' stand it in there much longer because it was so hot and would they like us all to finish together? To me, what really matters is that these single guys behaved well enough to be played with in the club..that should be ur highlight. I seriously hope you're takign the michael or your current mailing address is located under a bridge and your favourite past time is stalking goats?
now its been suggested that they must have had viagra or were waiting for a better offer...maybe they had also played before and were spent from that.
Quite possibly, thats why I started the thread to see if this was common practice, and as some have suggested, some perfectly logical explainations.
nobody said because we(all groups) are swingers would suggest we are gonna be superpeople(all groups) in the sack, compared to any other people. Ive found situations myself of course where I havent came..my partners have enjoyed other times when i have(ones Ive met with again)-maybe I just dont find the shallow types, ones who can enjoy ur compnay and sex..but with nothing written in stone about how ur 'supposed' to perform.
I've got the universal translator still running on that last paragraph, but early indications suggest you're saying that nobody expects swingers to be any better in bed than non-swingers and maybe you're lucky as you dont' find shallow people who have an ideology on how peopel are supposed to perform?
We have nothing written in stone, by far our best experiences over the last year have been the ones we didn't see coming! (ok I intended that one! )
I never realised that cumming for a male in a swingers club fell into the "superpeople in the sack" category, it's something I've had no trouble with since an early age - Woooo! I must be a sex a god!
lastly, anyone suffering from 'it must be me, I'm not attractive enough because he/she/they didnt cum' should seriously consider the fact that perhaps they need some self-esteem building, rather than finding it from sexual gratification.
There is not building of self esteem required. We want the experience to be good for everyone, and like some have said, not-cumming is "their thing". Thats fine, and I make no apology for actually having a concern over whether other people are enjoying things as much as us, or for us querying ourselves. I don't presume us to be Sex Gods, and believe there is always room for improvement.
All in all, I'm not slating anyone for not cumming, and thank everyone for their contribution (excuse the pun... again) to this thread. Its good to see it from the other side....
On the plus side, we're trying to arrange a hotel meet with 2 other guys, I now know what one of my criteria questions will be I'd always taken it as a given.
Thanks
D"the highlight comment part of my post was about those at the time of play that uve posted about, not ur whole night in general.Hope that makes it clearer. most of my post was meant in general to ur sympathizers of the OP post.Especially from those who have basically indicated by their style "imagine doing that to a woman...how must she feel!!!" dunno how my post would go down too well if I said, I'd met this woman..her handjobs were awful, her bj's terrible, she just didnt do it for me (despite being good looking and a great body) or she didnt squirt/gush.Then again..I wouldnt have posted about it anyway. there always two sides, or more to a story is my main point of my post. I suppose its only tueday, worth a moan at least. | |||
" dunno how my post would go down too well if I said, I'd met this woman..her handjobs were awful, her bj's terrible, she just didnt do it for me (despite being good looking and a great body) or she didnt squirt/gush.Then again..I wouldnt have posted about it anyway. there always two sides, or more to a story is my main point of my post. I suppose its only tueday, worth a moan at least. " Quite! I know I don't always have the skills/technique or the right touch for every man I meet. It would be daft to assume that I could be right for everyone just as I don't assume every man will be able to find my hot spots. | |||
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after that I will last for ages and if it's just a hand job then it may get uncomfortable after a while. Even hard and fast sex can take ages to make me cum, even if I really want to. If its at the end of the night then it may be the 3rd, 4th or 5th time so your really have no chance lol | |||
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"Do you know, I have seen this for myself too. I was playing with a really sexy playmate, and we were all masturbating to each other. She came, I came but the other guy just stopped, went soft and wandered off! WTF? I showed my respect to the lady and was dissappointed the other guy wouldn't oblige. This has happened on two or three different occasions. OK, I am lucky in the fact that I can cum 2 or 3 times in a session, so if I am asked to cum all over a lady, then the least I can do is oblige her." yes your lucky. Going from a hero hardon that i was very proud of (thank you loverly lady) to zero in but a few seconds without good reason does happen, as it was my turn and I was so looking forward to giving her a good rogering too and i bet she got the wrong signal. Maybe that guy was just too embarrassed to speak. | |||
"I cum easily enough the first time, which is why I like to start off with a bj after that I will last for ages and if it's just a hand job then it may get uncomfortable after a while. Even hard and fast sex can take ages to make me cum, even if I really want to. If its at the end of the night then it may be the 3rd, 4th or 5th time so your really have no chance lol"I was chating to two young men friday there thing in clubs is to see who shag the most .. when i asked if thay cum said first and last time so thay must have some sort of control and viagra i bet ... one was on 6 and his friend 7 was funny him saying to lady in hallway your next . lol Maybe thay find its better then a work out in the gym , lol and why i find it rear good sex at a club .. never last hours only if you take them back to hotel after . | |||
"I cum easily enough the first time, which is why I like to start off with a bj after that I will last for ages and if it's just a hand job then it may get uncomfortable after a while. Even hard and fast sex can take ages to make me cum, even if I really want to. If its at the end of the night then it may be the 3rd, 4th or 5th time so your really have no chance lol I was chating to two young men friday there thing in clubs is to see who shag the most .. when i asked if thay cum said first and last time so thay must have some sort of control and viagra i bet ... one was on 6 and his friend 7 was funny him saying to lady in hallway your next . lol Maybe thay find its better then a work out in the gym , lol and why i find it rear good sex at a club .. never last hours only if you take them back to hotel after . "So...did you let them fuck you? | |||
"I cum easily enough the first time, which is why I like to start off with a bj after that I will last for ages and if it's just a hand job then it may get uncomfortable after a while. Even hard and fast sex can take ages to make me cum, even if I really want to. If its at the end of the night then it may be the 3rd, 4th or 5th time so your really have no chance lol I was chating to two young men friday there thing in clubs is to see who shag the most .. when i asked if thay cum said first and last time so thay must have some sort of control and viagra i bet ... one was on 6 and his friend 7 was funny him saying to lady in hallway your next . lol Maybe thay find its better then a work out in the gym , lol and why i find it rear good sex at a club .. never last hours only if you take them back to hotel after .
So...did you let them fuck you? "no , xxx i need more then 10/20 mins thats only kissing time .. lol | |||
"The irony of it is that the guys who are saving it in case something/one better comes along often don't get another opportunity!
I'm one of the ones who will play early if I like the look of someone. I have been gobsmacked to be told "I'm saving it" at 9pm when the club doesn't close till 3! Surely many men can manage twice in six hours! "How randomly rude! I wouldn't turn you down if you ever asked me! | |||
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"Just as an after thought....... has anyone ever turned to a woman and said "yeah I am ready for you to cum on my face now, if you can't manage it can you shift your arse out of the way and make room for someone who can" Or is it not right to treat women like performing seals?" Omg I think I've just peed a little
Bang on there !! | |||
"Just as an after thought....... has anyone ever turned to a woman and said "yeah I am ready for you to cum on my face now, if you can't manage it can you shift your arse out of the way and make room for someone who can" Or is it not right to treat women like performing seals? Omg I think I've just peed a little
Bang on there !! "That's new seals , lol never seen woman called that before, | |||
