FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Are men more sharing?
Are men more sharing?
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On fab there are many threads on hotwives, many hot wife profiles and it is generally accepted that wives will want to have other lovers.
In contrast, there are few hot-husband posts, fewer profiles and this is generally off-putting for many women.
What's good for the goose is not allowed for the gander! Discuss... |
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For me I'm fine with my wife not Letting or wanting me to play with other women as it was my fantasy to want her to fuck other men and I was the one that brought everything to light as such , things may change in the future as you never know what could happen but I'm not bothered if they don't tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On fab there are many threads on hotwives, many hot wife profiles and it is generally accepted that wives will want to have other lovers.
In contrast, there are few hot-husband posts, fewer profiles and this is generally off-putting for many women.
What's good for the goose is not allowed for the gander! Discuss... "
100% agree with the above reply as I’m the same. |
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Hi, I’m the female kazz. So I don’t play at all with other men only women, but my thing is seeing my male partner with other women with or with out my involvement.
It’s not very common but there are some of us around. And it is a kink/ turn on for me and that’s the way this works there are a lot of hot wife’s and Cuck couples and them men are totally on board with it. It’s not a I can but you can’t thing xxxxx |
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"She looks great and I'm sure lots want to share her but it seems much more common that men want to share their wife. "
Thank you , she definitely does get plenty of offers . Yes it definitely seems to be becoming more and more popular |
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"Hi, I’m the female kazz. So I don’t play at all with other men only women, but my thing is seeing my male partner with other women with or with out my involvement.
It’s not very common but there are some of us around. And it is a kink/ turn on for me and that’s the way this works there are a lot of hot wife’s and Cuck couples and them men are totally on board with it. It’s not a I can but you can’t thing xxxxx"
That's great. You are not alone but I'm not sure why it seems far less common on here. X  |
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"On fab there are many threads on hotwives, many hot wife profiles and it is generally accepted that wives will want to have other lovers.
In contrast, there are few hot-husband posts, fewer profiles and this is generally off-putting for many women.
What's good for the goose is not allowed for the gander! Discuss...
100% agree with the above reply as I’m the same. "
Does your wife say that she would not share you? |
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"Is it sharing or fulfilling fantasy?
It can be either or both but still more common (it seems) for the female to play than the male. Just wonder why, that's all. X"
My completely unscientific opinion is that men are often more visually stimulated than women therefore more likely to be turned on by watching their partner with someone else. Also historically and culturally men are encouraged or allowed to be more open about sex so feel able to be more experimental. Possibly women have been told since birth that sex is only for one special person. Maybe women and men are different and seeing their s.o. with another woman isn't something that appeals to many. From what I've seen on fab forums for some men wanting to see their partner with another man is almost an obsession.
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"Is it sharing or fulfilling fantasy?
It can be either or both but still more common (it seems) for the female to play than the male. Just wonder why, that's all. X
My completely unscientific opinion is that men are often more visually stimulated than women therefore more likely to be turned on by watching their partner with someone else. Also historically and culturally men are encouraged or allowed to be more open about sex so feel able to be more experimental. Possibly women have been told since birth that sex is only for one special person. Maybe women and men are different and seeing their s.o. with another woman isn't something that appeals to many. From what I've seen on fab forums for some men wanting to see their partner with another man is almost an obsession.
"
That's what I find interesting. Is is ingrained that Barbie finds Ken and then Ken wants her to go off with Action Man? |
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When reading up on the phenomenon the answer is probably to be found in our hardwiring
Women are driven by variety . In their hardwired search for the best genetic material for their off spring , they are even more programmed for promiscuity than men . It’s social programming which make them search for monogamy .
As such when being liased with a man they almost always want to be The One on the pedestal - mind you woman expect the man to place them there, they usually do not compete for it . Should another woman appear on the field and threaten the pedestal position the rather retreat , feeling insulted and humiliated and betrayed , even tho no one really pushed them off the pedestal , they step down ( disclaimer : may not count for all but many )
Men are driven by competition . Thereby it doesn’t really matter whether they compete for many women or just for one all the time . A committed man who has sufficient self esteem not to consider any other man appearing on the horizon as an immediate threat will happily enter into competition with his „rival „ . He even benefits physically as the competition boosts his testosterone production and sperm count.
In our opinion we would answer the question with yes, men have less problem to „share“ than the other way around . We actually don’t like the term share as it implies that one is the others property , a concept we rather defy  |
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"Is it sharing or fulfilling fantasy?
It can be either or both but still more common (it seems) for the female to play than the male. Just wonder why, that's all. X
My completely unscientific opinion is that men are often more visually stimulated than women therefore more likely to be turned on by watching their partner with someone else. Also historically and culturally men are encouraged or allowed to be more open about sex so feel able to be more experimental. Possibly women have been told since birth that sex is only for one special person. Maybe women and men are different and seeing their s.o. with another woman isn't something that appeals to many. From what I've seen on fab forums for some men wanting to see their partner with another man is almost an obsession.
That's what I find interesting. Is is ingrained that Barbie finds Ken and then Ken wants her to go off with Action Man? "
In some men it seems to be ingrained but I don't think it's a common thing in wider society. I've seen too much chest beating and bar brawls over "wimmin".
I just think human sexuality is a big subject and within that every combination of interests exists |
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I have been Bi for a good few years now, and we always had the ground rules he could watch but only play with me, about 5years back I asked him to fuck the other lady I had just made cum… it was so hot watching him with her, when we got home the way he took me was to a new level… so wish I had thought of letting him sooner, but only when I am in the same room, he won’t if I am not present xx |
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"When reading up on the phenomenon the answer is probably to be found in our hardwiring
Women are driven by variety . In their hardwired search for the best genetic material for their off spring , they are even more programmed for promiscuity than men . It’s social programming which make them search for monogamy .
As such when being liased with a man they almost always want to be The One on the pedestal - mind you woman expect the man to place them there, they usually do not compete for it . Should another woman appear on the field and threaten the pedestal position the rather retreat , feeling insulted and humiliated and betrayed , even tho no one really pushed them off the pedestal , they step down ( disclaimer : may not count for all but many )
Men are driven by competition . Thereby it doesn’t really matter whether they compete for many women or just for one all the time . A committed man who has sufficient self esteem not to consider any other man appearing on the horizon as an immediate threat will happily enter into competition with his „rival „ . He even benefits physically as the competition boosts his testosterone production and sperm count.
In our opinion we would answer the question with yes, men have less problem to „share“ than the other way around . We actually don’t like the term share as it implies that one is the others property , a concept we rather defy "
Thanks for your response. I definitely agree with not wanting to imply ownership and hope that wasn't the case.
People commenting so far feel that we are hard wired like this. It makes it tough for those who don't feel the same. |
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"I have been Bi for a good few years now, and we always had the ground rules he could watch but only play with me, about 5years back I asked him to fuck the other lady I had just made cum… it was so hot watching him with her, when we got home the way he took me was to a new level… so wish I had thought of letting him sooner, but only when I am in the same room, he won’t if I am not present xx"
Interesting. Thanks for your comments. Would he be happy for you to "go off"? Why do you think there was a difference in attitude? |
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It's not exclusively what we're looking for but I love the thought of watching Flynn fuck a gorgeous woman in front of me, female cuckolding is something were only just getting into. I have strong submissive tendancies which extend to a humiliation kink so that's why it probably works for me.
It definitely seems a lot less common here on fab, but on other more BDSM orientated lifestyle sites it seems a little more common.
Elle xx
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"It's not exclusively what we're looking for but I love the thought of watching Flynn fuck a gorgeous woman in front of me, female cuckolding is something were only just getting into. I have strong submissive tendancies which extend to a humiliation kink so that's why it probably works for me.
It definitely seems a lot less common here on fab, but on other more BDSM orientated lifestyle sites it seems a little more common.
Elle xx
"
Have you found people accepting of this? I think it is far less common on here, or less commonly discussed at least. |
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"When reading up on the phenomenon the answer is probably to be found in our hardwiring
Women are driven by variety . In their hardwired search for the best genetic material for their off spring , they are even more programmed for promiscuity than men . It’s social programming which make them search for monogamy .
As such when being liased with a man they almost always want to be The One on the pedestal - mind you woman expect the man to place them there, they usually do not compete for it . Should another woman appear on the field and threaten the pedestal position the rather retreat , feeling insulted and humiliated and betrayed , even tho no one really pushed them off the pedestal , they step down ( disclaimer : may not count for all but many )
Men are driven by competition . Thereby it doesn’t really matter whether they compete for many women or just for one all the time . A committed man who has sufficient self esteem not to consider any other man appearing on the horizon as an immediate threat will happily enter into competition with his „rival „ . He even benefits physically as the competition boosts his testosterone production and sperm count.
In our opinion we would answer the question with yes, men have less problem to „share“ than the other way around . We actually don’t like the term share as it implies that one is the others property , a concept we rather defy
Thanks for your response. I definitely agree with not wanting to imply ownership and hope that wasn't the case.
People commenting so far feel that we are hard wired like this. It makes it tough for those who don't feel the same. "
I don't think we're hard wired like this. I think sexuality is a very broad spectrum. I do think that it's quite easy once you're involved in the swinging world to assume that most people are into similar things when the reverse is probably true |
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"
I don't think we're hard wired like this. I think sexuality is a very broad spectrum. I do think that it's quite easy once you're involved in the swinging world to assume that most people are into similar things when the reverse is probably true"
One of the things I like most about it is the heterogeneity. It is OK to be different! X |
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"It's not exclusively what we're looking for but I love the thought of watching Flynn fuck a gorgeous woman in front of me, female cuckolding is something were only just getting into. I have strong submissive tendancies which extend to a humiliation kink so that's why it probably works for me.
It definitely seems a lot less common here on fab, but on other more BDSM orientated lifestyle sites it seems a little more common.
Elle xx
Have you found people accepting of this? I think it is far less common on here, or less commonly discussed at least. "
Here? Not so much it doesn't look to be a common thing and as we're into much more equal senarios also we don't really look for it here. On other fetish lifestyle groups we discuss it a lot more often.
We look on fab for more mainstream meets and interactions and the less common things else where.
E |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not exclusively what we're looking for but I love the thought of watching Flynn fuck a gorgeous woman in front of me, female cuckolding is something were only just getting into. I have strong submissive tendancies which extend to a humiliation kink so that's why it probably works for me.
It definitely seems a lot less common here on fab, but on other more BDSM orientated lifestyle sites it seems a little more common.
Elle xx
"
Don’t you think it’s different when you’re there? I wouldn’t mind if I was there, if I’m not there, I don’t like it? |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
As with everything in the world there are different kinks for different people. We might not understand it but if it works for them great.
When we decide right from the start that we both wanted to share so instantly decided we would only meet couples, which has worked well for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am able to meet other guys so it is only fair that the hubby can meet other women. I get turned on by the thought of him with others"
sounds completely fair arrangement to me |
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"As with everything in the world there are different kinks for different people. We might not understand it but if it works for them great.
When we decide right from the start that we both wanted to share so instantly decided we would only meet couples, which has worked well for us."
I am not critical of anyone's choices. Just interested that some dynamics are far more common than others. X |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
In my last relationship we would generally play together with other couples, but occasionally we met people separately. It worked well for several years until the lies and deceit started  |
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"In my last relationship we would generally play together with other couples, but occasionally we met people separately. It worked well for several years until the lies and deceit started "
Oh no! There certainly has to be lots of honest communication. Sorry to hear that it didn't work for you. |
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Me and my wife are currently looking for different people to meet and for her it’s very easy to find people she wants to meet but there are very few women that can get over meeting married men it makes things more difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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could it be the male of the couple's sex drive isnt what it use to be so to keep her happy allows her to meet others?
is this a possibility in a marriage/relationship?
if it keeps you together would people have this arrangement? |
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"could it be the male of the couple's sex drive isnt what it use to be so to keep her happy allows her to meet others?
is this a possibility in a marriage/relationship?
if it keeps you together would people have this arrangement?"
Definitely not the case with us. My sex drive is through the roof! ( ) |
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"Me and my wife are currently looking for different people to meet and for her it’s very easy to find people she wants to meet but there are very few women that can get over meeting married men it makes things more difficult."
It is a totally different game! Good luck mate! |
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"could it be the male of the couple's sex drive isnt what it use to be so to keep her happy allows her to meet others?
is this a possibility in a marriage/relationship?
if it keeps you together would people have this arrangement?"
Definately not the case with us, the hubby's sex drive seems to have increased with age |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel I am although we haven't made the leap im wanting to share my wife with other men i myself dont want to be with other women im more than happy with my mrs but I do want other men to enjoy what I do and obviously I want her to enjoy it aswell |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
If and when Niki is fully ready to discover her bi side, we will look for a female equivalent of what we're currently looking for in a man - until that happens (if it happens) I'm more than happy for her to have all the fun. She's always said she'd love to see me with another woman, but it's not what we're trying to achieve at the moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest we have given up with Mr looking for women to meet on here as if we instigate it from couples profile we get accused of being fake and with a his single profile (got rid of now) he was open and honest about having a partner and people just assumed he was playing away from home
that and combined with the shear amount of single guys just didn’t seem to be worth the effort in the end (I don’t have the same issue with my single profile, I must add)
We just find it easier for him to find people organically or through other meets etc now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest we have given up with Mr looking for women to meet on here as if we instigate it from couples profile we get accused of being fake and with a his single profile (got rid of now) he was open and honest about having a partner and people just assumed he was playing away from home
that and combined with the shear amount of single guys just didn’t seem to be worth the effort in the end (I don’t have the same issue with my single profile, I must add)
We just find it easier for him to find people organically or through other meets etc now "
You make valid points |
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Mr KC seems to not be especially interested in meeting other women, unless I'm involved. He is, however, very keen on the idea of me meeting guys, having MFM threesomes etc. No idea why, but that's just him and us.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr KC seems to not be especially interested in meeting other women, unless I'm involved. He is, however, very keen on the idea of me meeting guys, having MFM threesomes etc. No idea why, but that's just him and us...."
How do you feel about that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never met a handsome husband on fab before whose wife offers him to other women. shame 
Take him will give me a night off 
Blimey lol"
Said in jest he’s not that bad honest lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never met a handsome husband on fab before whose wife offers him to other women. shame
Take him will give me a night off
Blimey lol
Said in jest he’s not that bad honest lol "
Does he mow the lawn? |
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"Mr KC seems to not be especially interested in meeting other women, unless I'm involved. He is, however, very keen on the idea of me meeting guys, having MFM threesomes etc. No idea why, but that's just him and us....
How do you feel about that?"
It's fine with me. I don't have any particular urge for him to play alone and we came into this having discussed what we both want/don't want etc. I think we're both happy with what we are doing (when we do it - not swung since pre Covid times!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr KC seems to not be especially interested in meeting other women, unless I'm involved. He is, however, very keen on the idea of me meeting guys, having MFM threesomes etc. No idea why, but that's just him and us....
How do you feel about that?
It's fine with me. I don't have any particular urge for him to play alone and we came into this having discussed what we both want/don't want etc. I think we're both happy with what we are doing (when we do it - not swung since pre Covid times!)"
That's good  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bookmarking. Interesting read.
Personally I find it a huge turn on knowing my man was sleeping with someone else. I discovered I was like this with someone a few years ago and it shocked me how much I loved the idea.
I think you're right though, men are more willing to share in general than women.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When reading up on the phenomenon the answer is probably to be found in our hardwiring
Women are driven by variety . In their hardwired search for the best genetic material for their off spring , they are even more programmed for promiscuity than men . It’s social programming which make them search for monogamy .
As such when being liased with a man they almost always want to be The One on the pedestal - mind you woman expect the man to place them there, they usually do not compete for it . Should another woman appear on the field and threaten the pedestal position the rather retreat , feeling insulted and humiliated and betrayed , even tho no one really pushed them off the pedestal , they step down ( disclaimer : may not count for all but many )
Men are driven by competition . Thereby it doesn’t really matter whether they compete for many women or just for one all the time . A committed man who has sufficient self esteem not to consider any other man appearing on the horizon as an immediate threat will happily enter into competition with his „rival „ . He even benefits physically as the competition boosts his testosterone production and sperm count.
In our opinion we would answer the question with yes, men have less problem to „share“ than the other way around . We actually don’t like the term share as it implies that one is the others property , a concept we rather defy "
Loved this response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my wife are currently looking for different people to meet and for her it’s very easy to find people she wants to meet but there are very few women that can get over meeting married men it makes things more difficult."
I've often wondered how guys in this situation cope. Let's be realistic the Mrs of a couple could be enjoying a different cock every night of the week if she so chooses. The flip side is the married guy (who can play with permission from his wife) is on an absolute hiding to nothing in an over saturated pool of single guys which in many areas is 100+/1 and the added disadvantage of many of those woman only wanting single commitment free men.
A couple friend of ours was in the same boat they did the same play separate like you. She enjoyed an incredible 6 months with many lovers and adventures whilst he sat on fab with 99% of his messages going unanswered. In the same 6 month period he managed a single solitary social that didn't go anywhere. In the end he became extremely frustrated so to get and fix things they started meeting couples so he could experience swinging as well. This worked for a little while and he then wanted to pursue swinging just as a couple but for the wife the genie was well and truly out of the bottle in terms of solo meets and she refused to give that up. Sadly in the end it cost them their relationship.
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my wife are currently looking for different people to meet and for her it’s very easy to find people she wants to meet but there are very few women that can get over meeting married men it makes things more difficult.
I've often wondered how guys in this situation cope. Let's be realistic the Mrs of a couple could be enjoying a different cock every night of the week if she so chooses. The flip side is the married guy (who can play with permission from his wife) is on an absolute hiding to nothing in an over saturated pool of single guys which in many areas is 100+/1 and the added disadvantage of many of those woman only wanting single commitment free men.
A couple friend of ours was in the same boat they did the same play separate like you. She enjoyed an incredible 6 months with many lovers and adventures whilst he sat on fab with 99% of his messages going unanswered. In the same 6 month period he managed a single solitary social that didn't go anywhere. In the end he became extremely frustrated so to get and fix things they started meeting couples so he could experience swinging as well. This worked for a little while and he then wanted to pursue swinging just as a couple but for the wife the genie was well and truly out of the bottle in terms of solo meets and she refused to give that up. Sadly in the end it cost them their relationship.
KJ"
How sad, but I understand it.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Bookmarking. Interesting read.
Personally I find it a huge turn on knowing my man was sleeping with someone else. I discovered I was like this with someone a few years ago and it shocked me how much I loved the idea.
I think you're right though, men are more willing to share in general than women.
"
I'm the same and I also agree with this. I'm not sure why men are more willing to share (social conditioning, porn having a knock on effect, women are more jealous/possessive? There's probably a myriad of reason). My partner isn't interested in meeting anyone else and hasn't been for a few years but when he would meet solo I found it hot and enjoyed it. I'm secure in our dynamic and comfortable enough with myself and also a bit of a deviant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bookmarking. Interesting read.
Personally I find it a huge turn on knowing my man was sleeping with someone else. I discovered I was like this with someone a few years ago and it shocked me how much I loved the idea.
I think you're right though, men are more willing to share in general than women.
I'm the same and I also agree with this. I'm not sure why men are more willing to share (social conditioning, porn having a knock on effect, women are more jealous/possessive? There's probably a myriad of reason). My partner isn't interested in meeting anyone else and hasn't been for a few years but when he would meet solo I found it hot and enjoyed it. I'm secure in our dynamic and comfortable enough with myself and also a bit of a deviant. "
Deviant. Noted |
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