FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Has time wasting reached a whole new level on fab?
Has time wasting reached a whole new level on fab?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Maybe it's the pandemic having made everyone a little nuts but does anyone else think time wasting has reached a whole new level on fab?
It feels more and more like guys just want some wank content or attention rather than to actually meet, they give all the talk and then after arranging to meet they either disappear or even block me! Very few are decent enough to make an excuse and actually let me know they're no longer coming. Do most men on here have no conscience or something? I've lost faith in humankind here!
Fab never used to be like this, something needs to be done about people that use the site (and in turn use the genuine people on here) in this way.
I've had 10 guys do this to me just this week! 10! I'm literally exhausted, I not only spend time getting ready but can be chatting for hours then I also turn down other potential meets and then I wait for them to show up, it's hours of my time wasted and it should be a crime!
They need to find a way to make it mandatory on here that people cancel meets in a respectful way |
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Omg I actually couldn't agree more ! Our profile clearly says it takes time for us to arrange a meet so at least let us know if u cant make it .... multiple times wr have arranged baby sitter (wr have an 18month old) we gone and waited so long for no shows ..now we block don't even wait for an excuse..hopefully things will get better...belle x. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Omg I actually couldn't agree more ! Our profile clearly says it takes time for us to arrange a meet so at least let us know if u cant make it .... multiple times wr have arranged baby sitter (wr have an 18month old) we gone and waited so long for no shows ..now we block don't even wait for an excuse..hopefully things will get better...belle x. "
Thank god its not just me, it's reached an all time level of disrespect hasn't it? I can only imagine when organising babysitters etc how that's even more annoying! I hope things improve too, fan should introduce an 'agreeing to meet' button in the chat box then when both pressed and 1 doesn't show they can be penalised it's not fair x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's when they say 'on my way!' then just vanish into thin air that gets me, I don't mind people cancelling as its better than ghosting or blocking without explanation even if the excuses are pityful. |
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"It's when they say 'on my way!' then just vanish into thin air that gets me, I don't mind people cancelling as its better than ghosting or blocking without explanation even if the excuses are pityful. "
The other week we had one said they was gonna be 30 mins late give them the benefit of the doubt 30 mins past we message them next thing you know he can't make it cos he's an hour away.
One guy was invited to a gangbang he turned up sat in his car for 10 mins got out opened his passenger door when round the other side opened that door then when to the front passenger door jumped in jumped over to driver side and left we messaged and he said was too many guys even thou he knew what he was invited to  |
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Everytime we mention this, somone un the forum implies it's being blown out of proportion.
There more fake accounts, catfishing, pic hunting and general time wasting on fab than ever right now.
Maybe it's different in various parts of the country but weve had to deal with an awful lot of flakey "couples" accounts lately.
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Everytime we mention this, somone un the forum implies it's being blown out of proportion.
There more fake accounts, catfishing, pic hunting and general time wasting on fab than ever right now.
Maybe it's different in various parts of the country but weve had to deal with an awful lot of flakey "couples" accounts lately.
"
Just meet in clubs. |
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"Everytime we mention this, somone un the forum implies it's being blown out of proportion.
There more fake accounts, catfishing, pic hunting and general time wasting on fab than ever right now.
Maybe it's different in various parts of the country but weve had to deal with an awful lot of flakey "couples" accounts lately.
Just meet in clubs."
If only it was that easy and thats not a solution to the problem either.
We dont drive, nearest club is over 50 miles away and we cant stay out overnight except maybe once every couple of months.
We dont mind a club but they're not for everyone. Socials are a good alternative (and we are doing ine) but that still does not resolve how flakey a lot of fab members have become.
Fab used to work great..now it doesnt. We dont know why. |
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I agree with the OP's observation, it has happened to me, too. Maybe it's because people are still not ready to meet in person? But then they should say that.
Or they are just so used to chatting online and having a wank, they're worried they wouldn't be able to "get it up"?
There is also, in my opinion, an increase of another category (or maybe that's just me): men who, even before a meet in person (social) is set up, they already start to arrange meets for themselves and me with others. I get that they may be trying to catch up, but what if we don't get on? |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"Everytime we mention this, somone un the forum implies it's being blown out of proportion.
There more fake accounts, catfishing, pic hunting and general time wasting on fab than ever right now.
Maybe it's different in various parts of the country but weve had to deal with an awful lot of flakey "couples" accounts lately.
Just meet in clubs.
If only it was that easy and thats not a solution to the problem either.
We dont drive, nearest club is over 50 miles away and we cant stay out overnight except maybe once every couple of months.
We dont mind a club but they're not for everyone. Socials are a good alternative (and we are doing ine) but that still does not resolve how flakey a lot of fab members have become.
Fab used to work great..now it doesnt. We dont know why. "
I think we all know why, the further away you get from the source and the more things in the way the higher the chances are of the signal degrading. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everytime we mention this, somone un the forum implies it's being blown out of proportion.
There more fake accounts, catfishing, pic hunting and general time wasting on fab than ever right now.
Maybe it's different in various parts of the country but weve had to deal with an awful lot of flakey "couples" accounts lately.
"
Omg thank you! I thought I was doing something wrong, it really isn't just me! If anything I'm trying to be more direct, more cut the crap but I'm at a loss as to what or who to trust on here at this point, I'm almost expecting to be let down 80% of the time which feels crap in itself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are still lots of genuine people on here. The problem is a lot of the people who would meet have left either for good or until the pandemic is over. Time wasters is nothing new on here, it seems to be more common due to people being freaked out with the pandemic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Loads of time wasters who when it comes to crunch time wouldn't even put their toe in the water if you get my meaning!
Many wind up merchants as well who get a laugh from starting things off & sprouting fourth about things they haven't got a clue about. I use know of someone who got their kicks from this sort of thing, had no intention of anything at all other than wasting people's time & they thought it was all one big laugh to do so. Needless to say I have no contact with them or others alike if I know.
It's sad that people like this exist & find it their only source of amusement! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everytime we mention this, somone un the forum implies it's being blown out of proportion.
There more fake accounts, catfishing, pic hunting and general time wasting on fab than ever right now.
Maybe it's different in various parts of the country but weve had to deal with an awful lot of flakey "couples" accounts lately.
Just meet in clubs."
I don't drive and the nearest club is 85 miles away with no direct train or bus to get to , so meet in a club is not an option .
There are an increasing amount of time wasters on here over the last 10 years and it does seem to be getting worse. X |
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By *igT-Time-4-FunMan
over a year ago
Bedfordshire areas SOCIAL or fun let's chat |
"I agree with the OP's observation, it has happened to me, too. Maybe it's because people are still not ready to meet in person? But then they should say that.
Or they are just so used to chatting online and having a wank, they're worried they wouldn't be able to "get it up"?
There is also, in my opinion, an increase of another category (or maybe that's just me): men who, even before a meet in person (social) is set up, they already start to arrange meets for themselves and me with others. I get that they may be trying to catch up, but what if we don't get on? "
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Thats outrageous.
The is a complain and report service on Fab.
Do fab do anything about complaints NO IDEA.
Advice for all when you arrange a meet. Always C/P there user name.
If no show and they fast block you. Then you can then still report them.
T. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have found this a problem aswell, it seems alot of people joined during the pandemic, looking for a cheap thrill, and never really wanted to meet, we just wish they would be honest, fab was bad for this before, but it does seem worse atm |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You cannot report someone on here for time wasting, I posted about this subject and what could be done to penalise users in the fab suggestions and feedback forum and the thread was immediately closed by a moderator who replied with a copy and pasted very cold clinical response suggesting to report users who break fab rules. These rules do not include time wasting however or people that ghost or block after arranging to meet.
I agree that most likely a lot of people joined during the pandemic to get their thrills and just see fab as interactive wank fodder. Sad bastards! Imagine how great fab would be if everyone were genuine! Let's keep that dream alive....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The site has become more social media than it has a contact site - everyone is now coming at it from completely different angles. For many it's now a popularity contest and they have less interest in meeting. For others it's just wank-fodder as you mention.
It's worth noting that Fab is not the only way to skin a cat. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"There are still lots of genuine people on here. The problem is a lot of the people who would meet have left either for good or until the pandemic is over. Time wasters is nothing new on here, it seems to be more common due to people being freaked out with the pandemic."
It also depends on what your definition of time wasters is I remember organising a meet with a couple who live in Thurrock. While i was using fab doing a weekly shop in M&S. They cancelled because I did not respond and was near to them within 30mins arranging. They knew full will I could not drive and that it would take me hour or so public transport to get to them.
In my the Coyle from Thurrock were tone wasters because they made me wast money ok a train ticket. On the other have the Coyle from Thurrock may have seen me as the tone waste because I am not got to the internet 24/7. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I've had this recently. Chatting away to someone, having a laugh. Arranged to grab a social drink and they completely vanished. "
I had someone double book me once on a fab meet in Leeds. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this recently. Chatting away to someone, having a laugh. Arranged to grab a social drink and they completely vanished.
I had someone double book me once on a fab meet in Leeds."
That's some audacity! |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Ironically, in my experience, it appears that no one's interested in us reliable guys that always turn up and have verifications to prove it; maybe guys like me are too boring and predictable? Maybe people like to meet those that there's an element of risk as to whether or not they'll show - I don't know, whatever it is, it's destroying people's confidence in this great site |
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"Ironically, in my experience, it appears that no one's interested in us reliable guys that always turn up and have verifications to prove it; maybe guys like me are too boring and predictable? Maybe people like to meet those that there's an element of risk as to whether or not they'll show - I don't know, whatever it is, it's destroying people's confidence in this great site "
Just because someone is verified, it doesn't mean they are not going to waste people's time. I arranged meets with well-verified people and got ghosted, too. They probably got a better offer. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I've had this recently. Chatting away to someone, having a laugh. Arranged to grab a social drink and they completely vanished.
I had someone double book me once on a fab meet in Leeds.
That's some audacity!"
what i think she was trying to do. Was to fit us men in 30min slots before having a night out with someone from here. I think her fantasy might have been to see how many single meets she could get in one night, and got her organisation wrong Well that's me guessing anyway. |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
A solution could be to setup a way of recording the agreed meet on the site. A calendar format that both parties would tick as confirmed and going, similar to advertising a meet now but the other party would need to confirm attendance within the meet calendar.
This would had many benefits:
1) It may add an element of safety when there is a physical record of an agreed meet.
2) It would allow for further development of profiles. If the other party did not show it could be flagged and as long as the meeting was confirmed a NO SHOW could added to their profiles.
3) A NO SHOW number would help paint a picture of the persons commitment, or lack of it.
4)To make it relevant a Number of Meets arranged would also be needed on the profile.
5) This could be tied in nicely with the verification elements for real feedback on how the meet did or didn't go , in the form of would recommend or would not recommend. No need for slanderous words just a tick box.
This would need to be moderated and I guess people will challenge the status of no show if they received it. I would think a way to resolve that could be thought of too  |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"A solution could be to setup a way of recording the agreed meet on the site. A calendar format that both parties would tick as confirmed and going, similar to advertising a meet now but the other party would need to confirm attendance within the meet calendar.
This would had many benefits:
1) It may add an element of safety when there is a physical record of an agreed meet.
2) It would allow for further development of profiles. If the other party did not show it could be flagged and as long as the meeting was confirmed a NO SHOW could added to their profiles.
3) A NO SHOW number would help paint a picture of the persons commitment, or lack of it.
4)To make it relevant a Number of Meets arranged would also be needed on the profile.
5) This could be tied in nicely with the verification elements for real feedback on how the meet did or didn't go , in the form of would recommend or would not recommend. No need for slanderous words just a tick box.
This would need to be moderated and I guess people will challenge the status of no show if they received it. I would think a way to resolve that could be thought of too "
This is a really good idea.I hope a developer is reading this thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ghosting, no-shows, whatever you want to call it, it happens - in no small part due to choice. People will often not put al their eggs into one basket for the reason that they think things might never come to fruition.
As a result they might choose one person over another, having deliberately organised more than one get-together. It happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really get frustrated with some couples - don't shoot the messaenger - who like single women have the pick of the crop - but;
1. You exchange polite messages
2. You have a real conversation
3. You swap "recent" face pictures
4. You agree to meet for a social
Then nothing - not a whisper, they ignore, don't reply or delete your message
"life is for living, because we are a long time dead"
So why waste it ??????
J xxxxxx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's when they say 'on my way!' then just vanish into thin air that gets me, I don't mind people cancelling as its better than ghosting or blocking without explanation even if the excuses are pityful. "
Have a read of this guilty ones!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Touch wood it never happened to me as of yet!!
I did get 2-3 guys who wanted to meet then on the day, or the night before they just told me that they didn’t feel confident enough to meet a trans girl yet and they were really apologetic about it. (which I was fine about as I understand some might be too afraid to cross that line lol)
But I can imagine it just sucks especially if you get ready and then they just don’t even bother to be honest and tell you they got cold feet or whatever… (insert bs excuse)
Don’t get too discouraged OP, frustrating as it is, they showed their true colours and they aren’t freaking worth it… |
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"I really get frustrated with some couples - don't shoot the messaenger - who like single women have the pick of the crop - but;
1. You exchange polite messages
2. You have a real conversation
3. You swap "recent" face pictures
4. You agree to meet for a social
Then nothing - not a whisper, they ignore, don't reply or delete your message
"life is for living, because we are a long time dead"
So why waste it ??????
J xxxxxx "
Blokes do this as well.
Personally we like to chat a little bit before arranging a meet but we are not gonna sit here pumping out messages all the time. We have lives outside of.fab. If we arrange a date, we stick to it and confirm it before it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We agree it is very difficult here.
It also depends upon what you are looking for.
We are fussy, we both have to be alright with the chosen buddy. She will not just shag anything, we prefer long term and we always meet at least once socially before anything progresses.
98% of the men here are married! They want a shag, they want it now and they are not fussy who they shag!
1% of the men are lying.
That leaves 1% that we might meet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A solution could be to setup a way of recording the agreed meet on the site. A calendar format that both parties would tick as confirmed and going, similar to advertising a meet now but the other party would need to confirm attendance within the meet calendar.
This would had many benefits:
1) It may add an element of safety when there is a physical record of an agreed meet.
2) It would allow for further development of profiles. If the other party did not show it could be flagged and as long as the meeting was confirmed a NO SHOW could added to their profiles.
3) A NO SHOW number would help paint a picture of the persons commitment, or lack of it.
4)To make it relevant a Number of Meets arranged would also be needed on the profile.
5) This could be tied in nicely with the verification elements for real feedback on how the meet did or didn't go , in the form of would recommend or would not recommend. No need for slanderous words just a tick box.
This would need to be moderated and I guess people will challenge the status of no show if they received it. I would think a way to resolve that could be thought of too "
Something like this would work well though it would have to be private and with the option to cancel without penalisation, would be a good deterrent for the no showers and ghosters for sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe it's the pandemic having made everyone a little nuts but does anyone else think time wasting has reached a whole new level on fab?
It feels more and more like guys just want some wank content or attention rather than to actually meet, they give all the talk and then after arranging to meet they either disappear or even block me! Very few are decent enough to make an excuse and actually let me know they're no longer coming. Do most men on here have no conscience or something? I've lost faith in humankind here!
Fab never used to be like this, something needs to be done about people that use the site (and in turn use the genuine people on here) in this way.
I've had 10 guys do this to me just this week! 10! I'm literally exhausted, I not only spend time getting ready but can be chatting for hours then I also turn down other potential meets and then I wait for them to show up, it's hours of my time wasted and it should be a crime!
They need to find a way to make it mandatory on here that people cancel meets in a respectful way"
On their profile there is an uotion under report user that gives option for those who don't turn up. Hopefully after a few reports they will block their account, but worth a try. Good luck |
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"It really sucks.
I usually send a message the night before or in the morning on the day and ask them to confirm. If they don't it's off but it still feels shit."
Pfft, No-ones bailed out on you I know, why would they? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe it's the pandemic having made everyone a little nuts but does anyone else think time wasting has reached a whole new level on fab?
It feels more and more like guys just want some wank content or attention rather than to actually meet, they give all the talk and then after arranging to meet they either disappear or even block me! Very few are decent enough to make an excuse and actually let me know they're no longer coming. Do most men on here have no conscience or something? I've lost faith in humankind here!
Fab never used to be like this, something needs to be done about people that use the site (and in turn use the genuine people on here) in this way.
I've had 10 guys do this to me just this week! 10! I'm literally exhausted, I not only spend time getting ready but can be chatting for hours then I also turn down other potential meets and then I wait for them to show up, it's hours of my time wasted and it should be a crime!
They need to find a way to make it mandatory on here that people cancel meets in a respectful way
On their profile there is an uotion under report user that gives option for those who don't turn up. Hopefully after a few reports they will block their account, but worth a try. Good luck "
So we can start reporting the no showers and ghosters then? I had no idea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe it's the pandemic having made everyone a little nuts but does anyone else think time wasting has reached a whole new level on fab?
It feels more and more like guys just want some wank content or attention rather than to actually meet, they give all the talk and then after arranging to meet they either disappear or even block me! Very few are decent enough to make an excuse and actually let me know they're no longer coming. Do most men on here have no conscience or something? I've lost faith in humankind here!
Fab never used to be like this, something needs to be done about people that use the site (and in turn use the genuine people on here) in this way.
I've had 10 guys do this to me just this week! 10! I'm literally exhausted, I not only spend time getting ready but can be chatting for hours then I also turn down other potential meets and then I wait for them to show up, it's hours of my time wasted and it should be a crime!
They need to find a way to make it mandatory on here that people cancel meets in a respectful way"
I agree, since the last load of restrictions were lifted and the site allowed meets again, the time wasters have all come out in force. I'm getting messed about pretty much every day now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My god I can't believe what I'm reading here but so glad I'm not in the boat on my own! I don't think enough people know about the report user option for a no show and I doubt much would happen anyway, fab needs to introduce tougher measures as yes, it's happening daily. |
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By *uscle88Man
over a year ago
Potters Bar |
"Maybe it's the pandemic having made everyone a little nuts but does anyone else think time wasting has reached a whole new level on fab?
It feels more and more like guys just want some wank content or attention rather than to actually meet, they give all the talk and then after arranging to meet they either disappear or even block me! Very few are decent enough to make an excuse and actually let me know they're no longer coming. Do most men on here have no conscience or something? I've lost faith in humankind here!
Fab never used to be like this, something needs to be done about people that use the site (and in turn use the genuine people on here) in this way.
I've had 10 guys do this to me just this week! 10! I'm literally exhausted, I not only spend time getting ready but can be chatting for hours then I also turn down other potential meets and then I wait for them to show up, it's hours of my time wasted and it should be a crime!
They need to find a way to make it mandatory on here that people cancel meets in a respectful way"
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across accounts from women who do exactly what your saying men do on here. I am 1000% committed to meeting, but am messed about constantly on here, there are a few women that do meet from time to time and when we do it’s intense and great fun, but 90% of the time it’s just lip service. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's getting ridiculous on these two sites lately. I report them all but they continue to have access to the site in most cases.
I guess is they're subscribed, Fab don't want to rock the boat and lose their subs by banning them.
Some of the worst experiences I've had on this site have actually been with verified members. Though there's some close seconds with unverified ones too.
I had a guy in Guisborough with thirteen verifications invite me over, we chatted and he asked how long it would take me to get there. I told him it would take me thirty minutes and he agreed and told me to go over, stupidly I fell for the 'postcode only' trick.
I made it there in nineteen minutes and messaged him to say I'd arrived and he just replied 'too slow, got someone else round.' Wasting my diesel and forty minutes driving.
Had a similar situation with a guy in Portrack. Gave only the postcode, told me to set off, I don't text and drive so the next thing I know, when I go to message him to say I was there I was already blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah there does seem to be a lot of time wasters unfortunately. It disappointing when someone cancels but I’d much rather they say sorry can’t meet now with a bit of notice rather than arranging a meet, sending a message asking if I’m on the way, to which I reply yes and then they don’t show and ghost me. Like the arrange meet & confirm button idea or a proper dedicated section to arranging meets. For now I just block them but anything that deters people from messing other people around would be a welcome addition  |
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This thread is disappointing as there seems to be a number of people who ruin it for the genuine people like myself. I hope you all manage to meet non time wasters as swinging should be fun not arduous. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think we should all post in the site feedback and suggestions section again and propose the 'arrange meet' and 'confirm' button in private message, maybe even a 'on way to meet' extra confirmation button would be good too.... Will you all make similar posts in the feedback forum too?
Please get behind this, if we all pose this type of request to fab it's more likely to happen, let's make fab great again!
Love Cherry x |
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Had similar recently.
Local guy wanting a regular thing with a Tgirl. We chatted, I offered to meet socially & he was fine with the whole concept.
I didn't read a message he sent, because I was at work.
By the time I managed to be able to answer it he'd ghosted me. |
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